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Christian of Tawa


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Christian of Tawa: The pilot

By SillyGeezer

©2005

 

Have you heard of a town called Tawa? It’s an obscure town pinned in the nearly centre of NZ. It had a beautiful garden at the middle of the town, many houses circled around the red and blue flowers that spelled “TAWA” and a park around it.

 

Here in Tawa, was a flashy, brash woman who was called Glynis Tawera. She was a Christian, praying and a fundy at that. She thought the people in the world were so wicked, she couldn’t see how she lived with them. She just pressed on and prayed on, crusading for her God.

 

She walked, cautiously, sweeping through the crowd to her small church which was incidentally was so ugly and ancient, people practically drove more faster than usual passing it, avoiding the design abomination.

She sighed when one man in a Rolls Royce swerved to avoid seeing the badly- designed church and moved on.

She opened an oddly shaped door with the sign “The Second Church of Tawa: Founded in 1840” hammered into the door, shouting “God told me to go to this service!”

The senile people (the church attendance was so sparse, it was said in 1950, there was only one parishioner) smiled at Glynis. One of the old people nodded and said “Shelia, you did good to listen to God.”

 

Glynis smiled at the greatly fake praise the elder gave her. She sat on the uncomfortable wooden benches and listened to her glassed preacher droning sweetly on about the fight of the faith.

 

“Hell is real; none of you can’t lie about that. The heathen Tawaens will be lying to you about the existence of God and try to sabotage your faith in the Almighty God of the eternal heaven.”

“It is your exhortation that you must persist in the good fight. Persistence is your best friend for the grand enemy of Christendom.”

“It is not enough that you just pay lip to it. You must give your heart, soul, strength to this true doctrine of God. He wants total faithers not wimpy lippers!”

Glynis was sleepily taking notes and yawning but strongly depending on God. She was thinking how fantastic it would be in Heaven with Jesus Christ.

 

Suddenly the preacher stopped droning and concluded the service.

The old people stood up weakly, talking in low murmurs and gesturing piously.

A woman with flowers printed on her dress, came over to Glynis, who were twiddling with her holy Bible, smiling sunnily.

“Hello, Glynis! How you’re doing, dear in Christ?” She spoke piously.

“Good, Belmany. My husband’s doing well; he’s a salesman for “Dominionists in NZ”. He sells books for them. Books sales are pretty high as seeing it’s the late 70s. Dominionism’s a new Christian way of thinking. It was started by Rushdoony, a right thinking person who want 100% Old Testament laws in place throughout the world, then Jesus Christ can return!” Glynis was thrilled to say this to her friend.

“How thrilling! This is a glorious way forward! I’m so thrilled for your Christian husband!” Belmany squealed in delight.

Glynis had an idea, she told Belmany, “Why not we walk to my house?

“Fine” Belmany gave permission.

They both got out of the church, still chatting, sadly surveying the fast driving cars past the church.

Then Glynis said to her best friend, “What should we do about the heathens who hate the church?”

Belmany thought for a moment, still walking on the weed covered footpath, “Why not we force them to go to church?”

Glynis smiled piously. “Yes, dear, you are right.”, and continued on.

 

They arrived at the big old house at the furthest corner of the town, which over saw the local school and the dairy shop. Glynis unlocked her door, signaled for the friend to come in. They both sat down to exchange the latest gossip of the town, drinking teas.

Glynis told her that Mr. Middleston, the mayor of Tawa was cheating on his wife and that Sarah didn’t know about the indignity done on her marriage.

“Really? Who did he do it with?” Belmany piped in shock.

“I think it was a man. Sinful, if you ask me.” Glynis gestured in dismay.

Belmany put her hands on her mouth, gasped “We have a graven faggot for a mayor?”

Glynis shaked her head, “It’s true.”

Belmany shrieked, “WE MUST PROTEST AGAINST HIM IN OFFICE!”

 

To be continued…

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