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My Father Died Last Night


par4dcourse
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I wrote last fall about the agonizing decision to put dad in a home. While in said home's erstwhile care last month, dad suffered, through they insist no fault of theirs, a broken femur, collarbone, wrist, and a body full of bruises.

 

 

At first they insisted it was while he was in bed. Conceding that those injuries could not possibly occurred in bed, they came up with some bullshit story of a diaper change gone wrong, although of course they did all they could and were in no way at fault. Dad lay in bed with 3 major broken bones for 5 HOURS before they called my sister and the hospital.

 

He never recovered completely from the surgeries. The leg was a nasty, jagged break and they had to loosen his hip plate to pin it. His last days were spent in casts, IV's, and pain. Not a fitting way for anyone to go.

 

Hug your parents if you can, and for heaven's sake watch retirement homes like a hawk. They're greedy, heartless bastards.

 

Can't drink and no god to ask for help. Shit.

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I haven't the words Par...

 

I'm sorry for your loss and how it happened.

 

Sending positive thoughts your way my friend.

 

-Dave

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Condolences Par. It is stories like these that makes be grateful I was able to care for my parents personally till they passed.

 

Our thought are with you at this time.

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I'm sorry to hear of your loss and wish I could do something to help.

 

When my brother was dying of lung cancer that had spread to his brain, I had to put him in a nursing home for hospice care. Fortunately, even though this was a county-owned facility, they did a good job. For example, they called me (as his power of medical attorney) immediately if he so much as got an upset stomach to tell me what medicines they were giving him.

 

It sounds like the home your father was in violated some laws about attending to patients properly to prevent falls and bedsores and keeping you informed of his condition. I'd look into suing the bastards, if I were you.

 

For everyone else who has someone in a nursing home, I recommend visiting as often as possible, and do it unexpectedly if you can to keep the staff on their toes. If you can't visit, call the home as often as you can to demand updates. Make sure they know someone cares about the patient and WILL hold them accountable.

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I am sorry to hear of this Par. My condolences.

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Par, I am so sorry that your dad died. I know how this feels..... to say goodbye to your loved ones. We are here for you during this grief, if you need us.

Hug form Margee

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Par, I'm sorry for your loss and the horrible circumstances surrounding your father's death. My mother-in-law has recently been struggling with the awful care of her mother in a nursing home and has battled with the situation and eventually had her removed and put into hospital for a while where she has received much better care. One of the most difficult things for her has been the terribly poor communication and the lies regarding various 'incidents'. It is painful to watch both my mother in law go through this and to hear about how much granny's quality of life has deteriorated. So very sad and all the more difficult to deal with when one feels helpless to do anything.

 

Just go with the emotions over the coming days and weeks and hang in there.

 

Much love S x

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I'm sorry about your father Par4. My sister used to work at a rest home and witnessed how slack some of these places are, what a fucking disgrace to treat elderly people that way.

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Very sorry to hear it.

 

When you've recovered a bit, I also recommend pursuing the legal route.

 

Wish I could help.

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I am so sorry to hear this, par. :(

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I know this is a bad time for you but if you have not called the police and filed a report of abuse, you should do so as quickly as possible before the nursing home has a chance to 'update their records.'

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Par, I am damn sorry for his suffering at hands of obviously under-educated FOOLS.

 

My promise is that when its time for needed cash for any legal remedy, I am *in*.

 

kevinL

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Par, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Sorry for your loss.

 

If your dad was really old, he may have had osteoporosis. But that doesn't excuse them leaving him in pain. Ask questions.

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