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I Feel So Empty


opiate465
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Latley ive become really depressed. My mind is wired to search for meaning but now i dont think there is such thing as objective meaning. I search for certainty because i always have, but there is no clear cut answer. even though i know that these desires for answers won't be fulfilled, i can't kill the yearning. I feel so needy. I feel so insecure about the relationship i have with my boyfriend who ive been with for 2 years. sometimes i just feel like an emotional burden. Sometimes i feel like he wishes he wasnt with me. I can never tell because latley its hard to seperate my irrational thoughts from my rational ones. The emptiness is burning me up inside and sometimes i wish i could fill the emptiness with god but i would be kidding myself. sometimes im happy but the rest of the time i feel numb or im having an emotional breakdown. I dont really know how to handle this. i wish everything didnt feel so heavy.

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I know exactly what you mean. I feel burned out and bored of life right now. I get into paranormal stuff to get answers. Relationships are so hard, you think theyll make life better and easier and they make it more hard.

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Sounds like you're having a tough time of it. I think if you're aware that you can't tell between your irrational thoughts and feelings and rational ones then it'd be a good idea to seek some professional help, either go to your doctor or a therapist/counsellor or something. There's no point going around in circles when you have these sorts of thoughts and feelings, and generally, from experience, it takes having someone else around to help you sift and sort through things.

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Latley ive become really depressed. My mind is wired to search for meaning but now i dont think there is such thing as objective meaning. I search for certainty because i always have, but there is no clear cut answer. even though i know that these desires for answers won't be fulfilled, i can't kill the yearning. I feel so needy. I feel so insecure about the relationship i have with my boyfriend who ive been with for 2 years. sometimes i just feel like an emotional burden. Sometimes i feel like he wishes he wasnt with me. I can never tell because latley its hard to seperate my irrational thoughts from my rational ones. The emptiness is burning me up inside and sometimes i wish i could fill the emptiness with god but i would be kidding myself. sometimes im happy but the rest of the time i feel numb or im having an emotional breakdown. I dont really know how to handle this. i wish everything didnt feel so heavy.

 

hi opiate465! I see you are such a lovely young person. I was just 20 when I accepted the lord, so I felt that I had a great beginning at that age. I can't imagine coming to the conclusion, so young that there is no god. It took me many years to let go of the concept of the christian god. I am still working at it, because I was brainwashed for so many years. you are lucky to create your own life at this young age without the fear of a nasty god.

 

If you choose to believe in evolution - you will discover that there is really no meaning to it all, so we have to make our own meaning.This can be quite the adventure and it can be fun, if you let go of all the seriousness of it all.Yes - it can be a bit of a struggle sometime figuring out what it is you want. It will be up to you to create a life of meaning for you. We cannot (I have learned over the years) depend on anyone else for our happiness. You get happy within yourself and then other's are the icing on the cake. They will add to your life.

 

When you truly honor, love and esteem yourself - you will no longer be a burden to anyone because we will not allow people into our lives that aren't good for us. Take back all your power and create the life you would want for yourself. Fill yourself up with things that will make you happy. What are they? Only you can figure this out my dear friend.

 

Talk to someone professional is your self esteem is low. It can really help. Best of everything to you...Sincerely

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mutate, im sorry that you're feeling the same way.

 

dichotomy, im really not sure if i can afford professional help. surely my parents would help me out but i dont want them worried about me and i think they would definitley try to get me to a christian therapist.

 

Margee, thanks a lot for your encouraging words they really picked me up a little bit. I think that you are right in saying that we can create our own meaning. I think i have a strong tendency to attach meaning to my relationships with other people. this causes me to have really high expectations sometimes. Im aware that this is pretty unhealthy its just a really tough habit to break.

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Hi opiate - Since you can't afford professional help right now, there are ways to fight depression on your own. Not all depression is chemically based, and one way to find out if yours is, is by fighting it in all the natural ways. If none of those work, then you may have to get professional help, but we'll be here supporting you every step of the way, so let's just start with how you can empower yourself. I did a brief search and found this:

 

http://www.fightingdepression.org/fighting-depression-10-golden-rules/

 

Two of those golden rules are particularly helpful - eating right and exercise. I have occasionally struggled with depression, and in my case, it always comes back to either nutrition or dehydration. Lack of water can actually cause depression. Now, I know that sounds ridiculous. I know with all the thoughts and feelings you're having, it doesn't seem like something as simple as drinking a glass of water or cutting some sugar out of your diet would help. The only way to know is try. If that is your problem, it will clear up the depression on its own and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. If that isn't your problem, you haven't lost anything by trying it, because drinking a couple glasses of water or eating some nutritious food certainly isn't going to hurt you.

 

Exercise is helpful because of the endorphins it releases. Sometimes, this one is a bit harder because when you're depressed and everything feels "heavy" as you put it, it can be really hard to motivate yourself. But if you can, you'll get a brief respite from the depression almost immediately.

 

Other than that, I recommend you peruse the site that I've linked, and possibly do a search of your own. Stick "fighting depression" into your search engine, and just avoid any religious bullshit that comes up.

 

I hope this helps. :)

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