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I Really Wish It Was True.


lostman42
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Today I keep thinking about all the things I was promised as a christian, the loving god, heaven, seeing your lost loved ones. I feel like I've been robbed of all of it. I keep wishing it was all true, but I know christianity is a lie. I just want the life christianity promised me.

 

Do any of you guys ever find yourself wishing that christianity was real?

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Not only that but then you have to ask which Christianity would be real? The Catholic one or the Protestant one? One of them has purgatory and the other one doesn't.

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It sure would be convenient for all of us, but think of the billions of people that would burn in hellfire. So, utilitarianly, it's probably for the best that it isn't true.

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I've been feeling like this a lot the past week or so. I think that's why my activity on here has increased in the latter few days! It's a new feeling for me though, before now I longed for the community and missed the emotional buzz and pull of worship and 'spiritual gifts' or the assurance of heaven etc. It's going to sound really pathetic, but at the moment I actually miss my relationship with god, I miss what he 'did' for me and the security and comfort it gave me. I also miss that feeling of rebellion and repentance and having a place to go to when I felt I'd done wrong and needed forgiving. I don't know why but I just do.

 

I've even prayed and had a desire to go to church to try and see if it is true. But I know it's not. And I won't set foot in a church. It's futile and pointless. This is the first time I've felt like this in over a year so I've no idea where it's come from!

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I've been feeling like this a lot the past week or so. I think that's why my activity on here has increased in the latter few days! It's a new feeling for me though, before now I longed for the community and missed the emotional buzz and pull of worship and 'spiritual gifts' or the assurance of heaven etc. It's going to sound really pathetic, but at the moment I actually miss my relationship with god, I miss what he 'did' for me and the security and comfort it gave me. I also miss that feeling of rebellion and repentance and having a place to go to when I felt I'd done wrong and needed forgiving. I don't know why but I just do.

 

I've even prayed and had a desire to go to church to try and see if it is true. But I know it's not. And I won't set foot in a church. It's futile and pointless. This is the first time I've felt like this in over a year so I've no idea where it's come from!

 

 

It's not pathetic. I think it could be a function of a couple of things. I'll just throw this out there and if it resonates, great. I think it's a similar feeling to wanting to go back home and be a kid again. I haven't had that feeling in a long time, but there were times when I missed having my mom be in charge and take responsibility for everything. That's one option.

 

Another option is what abused people go through. it's rarely like television. Rarely is the abuser 100% mean. That would make it easy to leave. On the contrary - they have a good side, and it's often so good, that it's easy for the victims to tell themselves they won't see that dark side anymore, and sometimes they can even convince themselves that dark side has gone away. It's seductive and dangerous and has been known to get the abused - at best, an unhappy life - at worst, killed.

 

But either way, what you're feeling is NOT pathetic. Your feelings are valid.

 

 

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I've been feeling like this a lot the past week or so. I think that's why my activity on here has increased in the latter few days! It's a new feeling for me though, before now I longed for the community and missed the emotional buzz and pull of worship and 'spiritual gifts' or the assurance of heaven etc. It's going to sound really pathetic, but at the moment I actually miss my relationship with god, I miss what he 'did' for me and the security and comfort it gave me. I also miss that feeling of rebellion and repentance and having a place to go to when I felt I'd done wrong and needed forgiving. I don't know why but I just do.

 

I've even prayed and had a desire to go to church to try and see if it is true. But I know it's not. And I won't set foot in a church. It's futile and pointless. This is the first time I've felt like this in over a year so I've no idea where it's come from!

 

Look into finding a good hobby to do where there is a bunch of supportive people willing to be your friends and help you learn your new activity.

 

At first you'll always wish the religion were true, because everything it offers is so appeasing. But there is a strange satisfaction in knowing that there is a truth out there that we have yet to figure out, and we, as humans are going to find it out ourselves. Not some magical guy in the sky with a huge beard telling us what to do or how it is. If we ever do find the truth, we'll have done it on our own accord, and something earned is much better than something taken.

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I'll never get to see the dinosaurs.

 

That, in all honesty, is the only thing that actually hurts.

 

It's hard to miss anything else because if I think about the other things honestly enough I start wondering how I ever could have wanted them in the first place.

 

Eternal life? Maybe I'd want another 1,000, 10,000 years after my expected lifespan, but what about the thousand after that? Or the million after that? Or the trillion after that? I'd get tired and bored and want to die.

 

Seeing lost relatives? Which part of them? They've lost their corporeal bodies and can't "sin" anymore. And there's things I like about those people that others don't, so which parts get stripped away and for whom?

 

Watching holocaust/rape/murder victims get justice against their tormentors? What about the ones who are in hell for not accepting Jesus? Or the tormentors who made it to heaven for accepting Jesus after the crimes?

 

And everything in this life that it purportedly gave me was stuff I already had or could get through other means. All it did was take the credit.

 

But the dinosaurs? Yeah, that bites. Maybe if I'm really lucky I can be cryogenically frozen in my old age and wake up in a time where we've cracked their genetic code and reconstructed them in a real life Jurassic Park. But it's a silly thing to wish for when we still have dolphins, blue whales, tigers, bears ... they're going fast, but they're still here.

 

The life we have right now is special and it's all we know we're getting. Treating it as something to just wipe our feet on as we get ready to journey forth into something infinitely more wonderous is a terrible waste and profoundly unhealthy. Atheism has freed me to appreciate what I have for what it is.

 

I miss Christianity like an ingrown toenail.

 

 

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The life we have right now is special and it's all we know we're getting. Treating it as something to just wipe our feet on as we get ready to journey forth into something infinitely more wonderous is a terrible waste and profoundly unhealthy. Atheism has freed me to appreciate what I have for what it is.

 

I love this thought process!

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As I think back, once I realized that Christianity is a lie, I never looked back. I was angry but that was because I realized I had been lied to by both the Bible and those "Christians" who knew it was all a lie but kept the lie alive for their own gain. Those thoughts really pissed me off.

 

But the question is whether I wish the lie were true. One of the things that helped bring me around and out of Christianity was what it was doing to me as a person. I realized that I could never just plain be me. Rather, I had to live according to biblical standards (whatever they were) and that required me first to determine what the bible had to say on a subject and then to adjust my attitudes and actions to that understanding. It brought guilt, judgmentalism, a hatred of the world and all things "worldly" and all things "of the flesh." It made me a natural born sinner (original sin) worthy of nothing more than hell on my own merit with Jesus as the only possible escape from what the bible taught I deserved. And quite honestly, I'm not in love with a whole lot of what the Jesus character in the bible taught. Fail to help the poor and burn in hell. Fail to have the requisite amount of faith and burn in hell. Be willing to abandon your family and loved ones to follow him or you aren't worthy of him. Don't think of the future because like the birds and flowers god will provide one's needs.

 

So my answer is an absolute no, I do not wish Christianity were true. No way!!

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I wish a lot of things were real, but they just aren't. People suck even though they could choose to do better. That is more than enough disappointment to be dealing with, without worrying about whether christianity is true or not.

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Today I keep thinking about all the things I was promised as a christian, the loving god, heaven, seeing your lost loved ones. I feel like I've been robbed of all of it. I keep wishing it was all true, but I know christianity is a lie. I just want the life christianity promised me.

 

Do any of you guys ever find yourself wishing that christianity was real?

 

hi lostman! I can really relate to this.......the loving god, heaven and seeing your loved ones again are one of the reasons I have had such a struggle accepting the lie of christianity. I really had to grieve this. Especially my mom, dad and only sister. When I knew I was losing faith - I also knew I would have to face this reality. And I did... and I had to grieve their deaths all over again. It was painful.

 

But as others have said........ all the horrible doctrine of the bible.....the hell... the unsureness of if you were even' saved'........... the guilt everyday because the sin was always there, you know...the 'dirty flesh!!' I never did like those parts. I notice you mentioned all the nice things too! :scratch:

 

So maybe it was a loving god we were after and then death was another adventure where you would get to play with all your loved ones again..............

 

I sure do miss that fantasy!!!:shrug:

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I don't desire hell for anyone, nor do I care for all the homosexual discrimination my previous faith had. Oh, and also, I wish God would actually do something like exist so that when I evangelize I am not just pushing some apologetic bullshit since I can't actually introduce them to an actual god. But yet, sometimes I wish this wasn't all there is. It makes me appreciate life more and spend less time wasting it; but I use to have no fear of death and was content with a simpler life knowing I had a better one coming. That might have been a "waste" of this one, but it did make me more content and less afraid of death. I believed I was saved and didn't fear hell; now I don't fear hell but sometimes struggle with the idea that soon I will be nor more, not exist at all. Kind of sucks.

 

I have never lost anyone really close to me. Everyone I have ever really loved is still alive. When they start dying I probably will have mixed reactions. For those who were non believers, I will be pleased I know they are not being tormented for an eternity. For those who are Christians, I will be sad that I really will never see them ever again.

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I don't get which part you wish to be true. The part where you got to feel guilty about and over analyze every thought and deed, or the part where billions of people, including many of your friends and relatives were destined to spend an eternity in excruciating agony?

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I've been feeling like this a lot the past week or so. I think that's why my activity on here has increased in the latter few days! It's a new feeling for me though, before now I longed for the community and missed the emotional buzz and pull of worship and 'spiritual gifts' or the assurance of heaven etc. It's going to sound really pathetic, but at the moment I actually miss my relationship with god, I miss what he 'did' for me and the security and comfort it gave me. I also miss that feeling of rebellion and repentance and having a place to go to when I felt I'd done wrong and needed forgiving. I don't know why but I just do.

 

I've even prayed and had a desire to go to church to try and see if it is true. But I know it's not. And I won't set foot in a church. It's futile and pointless. This is the first time I've felt like this in over a year so I've no idea where it's come from!

 

 

It's not pathetic. I think it could be a function of a couple of things. I'll just throw this out there and if it resonates, great. I think it's a similar feeling to wanting to go back home and be a kid again. I haven't had that feeling in a long time, but there were times when I missed having my mom be in charge and take responsibility for everything. That's one option.

 

Another option is what abused people go through. it's rarely like television. Rarely is the abuser 100% mean. That would make it easy to leave. On the contrary - they have a good side, and it's often so good, that it's easy for the victims to tell themselves they won't see that dark side anymore, and sometimes they can even convince themselves that dark side has gone away. It's seductive and dangerous and has been known to get the abused - at best, an unhappy life - at worst, killed.

 

But either way, what you're feeling is NOT pathetic. Your feelings are valid.

 

 

 

Thanks for that scifi, the first part in particular resonates with me. I'm already feeling better. It's all a process I guess and that was just another stage. I think I'm just grieving really, I've been through the denial and anger stages, I'd moved into acceptance but this past month I've been feeling sad about it all. For me the loss of god was also the loss of myself. I've lost part of who I am. There's not point pretending that anything other than this is true - of course all the crap that came with christianity far outweighs the benefits but being a christian did something for me otherwise I wouldn't have stuck with it for so long! I'm just learning about how to readjust myself. I've not thought about it much for the past 6 months and have just reached another point where I'm reconsidering me and my life.

 

 

Look into finding a good hobby to do where there is a bunch of supportive people willing to be your friends and help you learn your new activity.

 

At first you'll always wish the religion were true, because everything it offers is so appeasing. But there is a strange satisfaction in knowing that there is a truth out there that we have yet to figure out, and we, as humans are going to find it out ourselves. Not some magical guy in the sky with a huge beard telling us what to do or how it is. If we ever do find the truth, we'll have done it on our own accord, and something earned is much better than something taken.

 

 

Interesting you say this because I was actually thinking that one of the things that I'm having to adjust to is the fact that there *isn't* a truth out there to be discovered and that contrary to how I was brought up there isn't always a 'right answer' or a 'right decision' to be obtained. I'm coming to the point where I think that sometimes we just have to accept that we're fumbling along through life and doing the best we can with what we've got, no truth or destiny or purpose to be had. Christianity/religion/god create these needs in us - a need for an afterlife, a need for a purpose, a need for acceptance/forgiveness, a need for a sky god guiding us down our path of destiny - if I hadn't have been introduced to these ideas I would probably never have had these unnecessary and unrealistic desires and expectations of my life.

 

The life we have right now is special and it's all we know we're getting. Treating it as something to just wipe our feet on as we get ready to journey forth into something infinitely more wonderous is a terrible waste and profoundly unhealthy. Atheism has freed me to appreciate what I have for what it is.

 

I love this thought process!

 

 

Me to, this is good!

 

 

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Look into finding a good hobby to do where there is a bunch of supportive people willing to be your friends and help you learn your new activity.

 

At first you'll always wish the religion were true, because everything it offers is so appeasing. But there is a strange satisfaction in knowing that there is a truth out there that we have yet to figure out, and we, as humans are going to find it out ourselves. Not some magical guy in the sky with a huge beard telling us what to do or how it is. If we ever do find the truth, we'll have done it on our own accord, and something earned is much better than something taken.

 

 

Interesting you say this because I was actually thinking that one of the things that I'm having to adjust to is the fact that there *isn't* a truth out there to be discovered and that contrary to how I was brought up there isn't always a 'right answer' or a 'right decision' to be obtained. I'm coming to the point where I think that sometimes we just have to accept that we're fumbling along through life and doing the best we can with what we've got, no truth or destiny or purpose to be had. Christianity/religion/god create these needs in us - a need for an afterlife, a need for a purpose, a need for acceptance/forgiveness, a need for a sky god guiding us down our path of destiny - if I hadn't have been introduced to these ideas I would probably never have had these unnecessary and unrealistic desires and expectations of my life.

 

 

As Carl Sagan said, "We are the way for the universe to understand itself". Maybe the truth is that there is no truth, but you can't say that for sure yet. Maybe the truth isn't what you would expect it to be, but you can't say that for sure yet.

 

 

 

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Today I keep thinking about all the things I was promised as a christian, the loving god, heaven, seeing your lost loved ones. I feel like I've been robbed of all of it. I keep wishing it was all true, but I know christianity is a lie. I just want the life christianity promised me.

 

Do any of you guys ever find yourself wishing that christianity was real?

Sometimes it helps to think of it this way:

 

You can't be robbed of something that never was there in the first place. What you have been deprived of is the scaffolding that used to hold up a mere ephemeral though-structure in between your ears.

 

You aren't mourning the loss of a possession that's been taken from you ... you are mourning the death of an idea. You are not adjusting to an actual loss, just to a denied reality that was always there all along.

 

It's a little bit like if you had been told all your life that you were the heir to a vast fortune and then finding out it was never true. You may have been planning how you would spend all that money, but the truth is you're no worse off than the zillions of other people in the world who are not heirs to vast fortunes, and still manage to find happiness.

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Another good Sagan quote: "It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."

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Well I don't wish all the bad stuff was true. When I was a christian I mostly ignored the parts of christianity that upset me(hell, god ignoring suffering, homophobia, ect). I was promised that there was a reason for all my suffering in this life and that this life had some divine importance. That is what I want the most, I want this life to be important but now I know it isn't.

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I'm sure many people wish parts of it were true. Anyone who wishes that what it really all entails were true is a sick bastard.

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I was promised that there was a reason for all my suffering in this life and that this life had some divine importance. That is what I want the most, I want this life to be important but now I know it isn't.

 

Think about this, lostman. Why would the existence of some form of the Christian god make your life important? Is your importance only measured against a divine life or might there not be something even more profound that makes your life important?

 

It is not the promise of eternal life that makes life important. That only cheapens it because then it is not something rare and precious but something with no ending, something ordinary. What makes life important is the fact that it is finite. Have you ever thought about the bible verses that speak of heaven being paved with gold. If you really think about that what it is saying is that gold is so plentiful in heaven that it becomes nothing more than pavement. We value gold because of its rarity. Life in Christianity is like the gold used as pavement in heaven but life outside of Christianity is like gold here on earth - rare and precious.

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Well I don't wish all the bad stuff was true. When I was a christian I mostly ignored the parts of christianity that upset me(hell, god ignoring suffering, homophobia, ect). I was promised that there was a reason for all my suffering in this life and that this life had some divine importance. That is what I want the most, I want this life to be important but now I know it isn't.

 

It is certainly a challenge to see life as important once we shed our Christian faith. But you can do it. It took me a while to sort out my new moral and political worldview after I lost my faith, and it took me a while to see why life without God is important. For me, I ended up seeing life as more important after I lost my faith. Life became more important to me because I began to see ALL humans as the same, all of us on this earth together hurdling through space trying to make the best of it. Without my faith I no longer classified everyone into spiritual categories. Seeing us all as the same allowed me to have more compassion, more solidarity, more empathy than I had as a believer. As an unbeliever I could no longer rely on God's providence 'to take of things.' I now feel compeled to behave in ways that increase the well-being of my fellow humans.

 

The possibility of many of us working to improve the well-being of many others - that to me makes life important. In other words, its not about what a supernatural being can offer me, but what we can do for each other here and now that makes life important.

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Thanks for that scifi, the first part in particular resonates with me. I'm already feeling better. It's all a process I guess and that was just another stage. I think I'm just grieving really, I've been through the denial and anger stages, I'd moved into acceptance but this past month I've been feeling sad about it all. For me the loss of god was also the loss of myself. I've lost part of who I am. There's not point pretending that anything other than this is true - of course all the crap that came with christianity far outweighs the benefits but being a christian did something for me otherwise I wouldn't have stuck with it for so long! I'm just learning about how to readjust myself. I've not thought about it much for the past 6 months and have just reached another point where I'm reconsidering me and my life.

 

 

I think you're right. It is definitely a grieving process, and in the same way I will occasionally think about people and pets I've lost over the years and feel sad about it, I have occasionally felt sad about losing some of my imaginary friends. I had a really good imaginary friendship going on with Jesus. The dude that existed in my mind was just awesome and wonderful. So it was sad to "lose" him, but even now I have friends that I only get to spend brief amounts of time with, and I've learned to treasure all of those moments and store them in my psyche as warm memories that I can revisit.

 

Personally, I think it's really healthy that you are reconsidering you and your life on a regular basis. It helps prevent you from making the same mistakes repeatedly, and I think it ultimately leads to a happier life, much like weeding a garden helps the good plants grow better. :)

 

 

 

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It's just little hard for me to answer this. I guess yes and no. There were some things in Christianity that made me feel good. And it was easy to believe them. God having a plan for me and all of humanity, the warm feeling of Heaven, Feeling like I had been forgiven for that lie I told last week, things like that. But overall, I think the world can do without it.

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