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Just Fucking Depressed...i Hate It


ilovemybrain
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I am just depressed as hell this week - I've been better for several weeks on an increased dose of meds but I just happen to feel like shit this week and I just wanted to whine about it here. Everyone else in my life would probably tell me to turn back to their nonexistent god. It was no better as a Xian, in fact worse. But I'm sitting here feeling like I'm so...I don't know...uninteresting and stupid and don't even deserve to exist. Where the hell does that kind of thought come from? Maybe it's Xian indoctrination - or maybe Galien is right and it's just a weird American hang-up about being ashamed to be depressed. Just crying and feeling very alone, and I wanted to voice my frustration somewhere.

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I am just depressed as hell this week - I've been better for several weeks on an increased dose of meds but I just happen to feel like shit this week and I just wanted to whine about it here. Everyone else in my life would probably tell me to turn back to their nonexistent god. It was no better as a Xian, in fact worse. But I'm sitting here feeling like I'm so...I don't know...uninteresting and stupid and don't even deserve to exist. Where the hell does that kind of thought come from? Maybe it's Xian indoctrination - or maybe Galien is right and it's just a weird American hang-up about being ashamed to be depressed. Just crying and feeling very alone, and I wanted to voice my frustration somewhere.

 

Brain, it'll sound cliche, but I know how you feel. I'm depressed too at the moment. I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better, but at least know you're not alone.

 

Sending you a barrage of hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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Thanks so much, Tab :) and no it's not cliche. I know no one can just reach in and "fix it" and I also know I won't always feel so lousy. It does help to just say I'm hurting and to hear I'm not alone.

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Sorry to read that.

I have been there so I know how you feel.

Stick it through things tend to cycle.

In a week I'll post in the drunk thread and make a right tool of myself elsewhere again too.

There's something to look forward to! ;)

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Cheer the fuck up. I miss your humor. Do I have to come over and spank you? (In a therapeutic way, of course.)

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I am just depressed as hell this week - I've been better for several weeks on an increased dose of meds but I just happen to feel like shit this week and I just wanted to whine about it here. Everyone else in my life would probably tell me to turn back to their nonexistent god. It was no better as a Xian, in fact worse. But I'm sitting here feeling like I'm so...I don't know...uninteresting and stupid and don't even deserve to exist. Where the hell does that kind of thought come from? Maybe it's Xian indoctrination - or maybe Galien is right and it's just a weird American hang-up about being ashamed to be depressed. Just crying and feeling very alone, and I wanted to voice my frustration somewhere.

 

Here I am 'brain' to give you a big, fat hug and kiss on the cheek this morning! I am going to heal you this morning.......

First comes a big hug and kiss..............:kiss:

 

Now, I want you to scream out all your frustrations.........:rotfl:

Now I want you to be magically be restored to a better mental heath! 1,2,3...............:magic:

Now, I want you to go blast your favorite music and dance whether you feel like it or not.........:jesus:

 

Now I want you to jump up and down and tell yourself that today will be a better day...............:bounce:

 

Some weeks are just better than others hon. There is no shame in having depressed days - we are all in this together and it is part of the human experience. We are here for you!

 

I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, hope you feel better this week! Love Margee

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I'm going through something of the same thing myself, m'lady. It totally sucks. I wish you (and myself, if I may) some lasting relief from it soon.

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Hey brain. Depression sux. And I hear ya about the religinuts saying turning back to their nonexistent god will magically fix things. I was also worse off as an xian, so maybe his magic wand didn't work on me. Plus it's way funner using his magic wand as a pole for strip dancing now! I know humor is hard to absorb when you're not feeling well, but if there's anything I can do, maybe I've done it on YouTube! :-D Think 'one in a million', because you are!

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Thank you so much everyone. I am cheered this morning. Some advice I got in a private message was spot-on: there are a few specific issues I need to deal with and get over, and part of my depression is that I'm not facing them.

 

Margee, thanks for the sunshine this morning! (((big hug))). Florduh, you can come give me some therapy anytime :moon: and I will cheer the fuck up :) ...db-Paradox - I think your One in a Million video certainly reminds me we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously :lmao: Everyone else, thanks for the encouragement and understanding - I didn't know I was missed. :blush:

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Glad you're feeling more cheered today! Depression really is crap and can envelop us. Part of it we have no control over but other bits we do and sticking with it and concentrating on the bits that we can do something about really does pay off eventually. Crying and whining and letting it out is all part of the 'healing' as margee said.

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Thank you so much everyone. I am cheered this morning. Some advice I got in a private message was spot-on: there are a few specific issues I need to deal with and get over, and part of my depression is that I'm not facing them.

 

 

good advice girlfriend!! Go get'em!! Deal with it! :woohoo:

 

I am soooo glad you are feeling better!:grin:

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Whenever I'm feeling more than just down I will head over to http://www.compassionpit.com/

 

Its instant chat with somebody that is willing to listen to your problems...Sometimes you get people that sincerely help other times people will offer no insight. Still worth a try I think.

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I'm sorry brain :( it can be hard and feel really bad, like you're just worthless and there's no reason to live. Personally i have had times where i actually started worrying it was because i'm not a christian or whatever, but then, like you, I remember i had some pretty bad times when i was still a christian, not really any difference.

 

Glad you're working on it, it can be really be scary to feel that way, and it takes courage to keep going despite feeling like you can't or that there's no point. It also is weird/disturbing to have those kinds of thoughts, although usually there's a chain of thoughts that lead to it, despite the fact that is sometimes happens in a millisecond and you don't even notice the thoughts in between. What i mean to say is, they usually don't come out of nowhere completely. I have had times where i was scared it was the devil or god telling me these things, still do somewhat. I guess all you can do is try to remind yourself that your mind is yours and no one else's.

 

Glad you're feeling somewhat better, and hope you can solve the issues that are bringing you down

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Happy day to you, Ilovemybrain, happy day to you! I've been in that place even if not officially diagnosed and so I hope you get better! (hugs)

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Whenever I'm feeling more than just down I will head over to http://www.compassionpit.com/

 

Its instant chat with somebody that is willing to listen to your problems...Sometimes you get people that sincerely help other times people will offer no insight. Still worth a try I think.

 

I checked out the site. Doesn't look like professional counselors at all. Just people off the street volunteering to listen to people who want to vent. For example, it seemed I could be a listener just by clicking the right button, without so much as going through a qualifying or screening process. That concerns me.

 

Most communities and hospitals have suicide hotlines for depressed people who need help. They have highly trained personnel to answer and listen. You don't have to be suicidal to call them. They might also be able to refer to you other community resources.

 

For example, I called my local hospital hotline this spring on behalf of a close neighbour who had an unexpected death in the family in which he lost his only family member. He was nowhere near suicidal but he was wracked with grief and barely fit to be left alone for that first night yet there was no one to stay with him. It was a Saturday night of a long weekend and I didn't know what other resources would be available to him. The person who answered my call said they were the appropriate resource for his situation.

 

So I'm sure they would help other emotionally needy (such as depressed) people, too. In addition, the person I talked to suggested that after the weekend they might be able to refer my neighbour to other community resources. So that's where I got some of the info posted above.

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Oh its not professional at all. Just simply a tool if you want to genuinely talk to someone else about your problems. Most people that frequent the site put honest thought and care into their words and sometimes all somebody needs is to be heard (this coming from my personal experience). It can be challenging to find sincerity in an online environment and I think this website may be helpful to those who need to vent or want to help.

 

Sorry for the slight thread-jacking here...real insight below...

 

It is strange quoting Zombieland...but I can't help but say "Rule #32, enjoy the little things". I think that when you are depressed (at least when I am), you tend to look at big picture things and forget about the small victories you have each day. Remember the little things that give you enjoyment and perhaps it will translate into slightly larger things. Hope this helps...I'm no expert

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Slowly pulling out of it...like I said I'm trying to face some specific things and work through relationship issues, you know, doing what I can and letting go of what I can't change. I had a terrific talk with my husband last night. He is exceptionally respectful and understanding, for a Christian, and was a real encouragement to me. It also really helps having you people to talk to. Thanks friends :)

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**hugs**

if you are already feeling better, then consider these hugs as bonus, and pass them on to someone else.

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Nice to hear you're coming out of it Brain. Myself, I enjoy being sad. To me it's much better than going through anger issues I find really hard to control.

 

You'll get through it (I know, you're part way there already).

Anyway, enjoy your day :)

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