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Goodbye Jesus

Why Not Just Leave?


florduh

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Man, chosen you hit dead on with this whole paragraph!!

Thanks. It's a normal reaction to turn to drugs and alcohol. The bat shit crazy religion was not normal. There's probably others like me who need recovery and treatment not only for the fundamentalism, but also for the resulting drugs and alcohol abuse.

 

Chosen, I practically lived at the church for my first 8 years when I got 'saved'...........Left because I did not think I was good enough for god or these born again christians. I was not allowed to teach sunday school or sing in the choir because I remained a smoker.

 

I left the church and went to the liquor store. I spent the next 7-8 years of my life drunk. I had never drank alcohol before this. I do not remember the age 28 -35. When I sobered up, I lost everything including a business and a wonderful husband. I went back to the church to repent. Even though I have not drank through the years...... I continued to go back to the church over and over until just 2 1/2 years ago.

 

Today, I do not drink and I do not go to church. I am kind of hoping that whatever remaining time I have on this earth...... good things might happen now that I am beginning to know me and what I want from life.....My whole life has been a fucking drama and I hated it! I want to make up for lost time......

 

That great Margee! You're doing really good and are an inspiration to others.

 

It's not an easy road to escape fundamentalism, you can't just 'quit' like it's that easy. Not if you were very deeply into it. Both you and I were pretty heavy into it and it took a long time to deconvert. Although, I believe groups like this helps the process go quicker.

 

 

Margee and chosendarkness:

 

You are right, if you stay with this group, it will help -- and it will help so much faster than counseling or doing it on your own. Of course, I'm not saying that a good counselor can't help. There's just something to be said for a support network of people with similar experiences and views. Many years ago when I deconverted I had the support of another (now defunct) forum much like this one. The road we travel when we deconvert is an extremely lonely one. Non-christian friends do not understand. Christian friends generally run like you are Satan himself. Find friends where you can, as it seems that both of you have found here.

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I did leave the church, years ago and it was a surprisingly easy transition for me. Its leaving god an jesus behind that is hard for me. Even with all the doubts I have. Even with my eyes opening.

 

To me, I can only compare it to having been married for a very long time, or having a best friend and wake up one day and realizing every aspect of it was a lie. The whole relationship was one sided and false. Leaving them physically is easy (it was in my case) . . . . its leaving them emotionally that takes forever.

 

I almost feel as if I am coming out of the closet except I do not know what to announce once I open that door . . . .

 

 

HI!!!! I no longer believe . . . well, I think I dont. Pretty sure. Struggling here. Just know I dont want what you are offering.

 

Yeah, thatll show em.

 

Im not worried about losing friends. That happened years ago. Im worried about losing my family.

 

Im not quite ready to bust through that door and scream IT WAS ALL A LIE AND I AM FINALLY FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I am pretty darn close and test the waters, slowly, one toe at a time.

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I did leave the church, years ago and it was a surprisingly easy transition for me. Its leaving god an jesus behind that is hard for me. Even with all the doubts I have. Even with my eyes opening.

 

To me, I can only compare it to having been married for a very long time, or having a best friend and wake up one day and realizing every aspect of it was a lie. The whole relationship was one sided and false. Leaving them physically is easy (it was in my case) . . . . its leaving them emotionally that takes forever.

 

I almost feel as if I am coming out of the closet except I do not know what to announce once I open that door . . . .

 

 

HI!!!! I no longer believe . . . well, I think I dont. Pretty sure. Struggling here. Just know I dont want what you are offering.

 

Yeah, thatll show em.

 

Im not worried about losing friends. That happened years ago. Im worried about losing my family.

 

Im not quite ready to bust through that door and scream IT WAS ALL A LIE AND I AM FINALLY FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I am pretty darn close and test the waters, slowly, one toe at a time.

 

Msshelle - just keep reading and you will see the many tactics, opinions and ways to go about this transition. Best wishes for this new journey. Glad to have you with us!!:grin: We are all here for you!

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To me, I can only compare it to having been married for a very long time, or having a best friend and wake up one day and realizing every aspect of it was a lie. The whole relationship was one sided and false. Leaving them physically is easy (it was in my case) . . . . its leaving them emotionally that takes forever.

That's a perfect description. It wasn't too hard for me to leave church, but leaving the beliefs wasn't easy because they had been so deeply ingrained. My beliefs were intertwined with lots of emotion, and the core beliefs were formed outside of church. So, even though I could reject Christianity and think all the followers were wrong, I still maintained that the bible was true. It was an emotional connection based on experiences. it took years to unravel it. No one can tell you to stop believing, you have to do it on your own. But when you do it's real, and feelings of fear like you made a mistake aren't there.

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OK...... So now I'm gonna give a brilliant demonstration! :jerkit::grin::lmao: Remember the invisible man? Here he is, wrapped up in his 'Cloth'.........................The cloth represents the bible, church, doctrines, indoctrination and brainwashing on how to read this book of ancient myths and how to believe in this make believe 'man of the cloth'.................. We questioned, did research on the whole history of that time and how the ancient tribal man saw the gods, we discovered the myths, the truth of it's history............

 

The_invisible_man.JPG

 

 

And, we stared to 'unravel' the truth! We slowly 'unraveled the cloth' and found out that the christian god was a invisible fantasy underneath a 'cloak' of tribal myths that we were lead to believe in, fear and worship!. We fell in 'love' with 'nothing' but an fake invisible person.

 

invisible-man.jpg

 

Brilliant Margee!!

 

I really do give the credit to florduh for this!!

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By the time I realized Christianity for what it is, I already alienated myself and hurt a lot of my friends and classmates with my extreme views. I was deeply involved and convinced my church and my faith was the only true faith, as was my family. If I suddenly left the faith and made a big deal out of it, it would have been very embarrassing for myself as well as my family, and it would have made me look like a huge tool. I imagine that is the major reason why people hesitate to leave.

 

 

 

 

 

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By the time I realized Christianity for what it is, I already alienated myself and hurt a lot of my friends and classmates with my extreme views. I was deeply involved and convinced my church and my faith was the only true faith, as was my family. If I suddenly left the faith and made a big deal out of it, it would have been very embarrassing for myself as well as my family, and it would have made me look like a huge tool. I imagine that is the major reason why people hesitate to leave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I totally agree with you UpandOut!

 

I understand the hesitation! When one believes in this for so long and then the doubts start rollin' in - it's very hard to tell your friends and church that you are becoming a non-believer.

I wanted to believe it so bad, I kept going back because I thought god would give me the big blessing of faith with his magic wand :magic: and then I would become a 'true believer' and not have to make a fool of myself leaving and admitting that I could be wrong. Then......... you gotta' tell your friends and family....................:Doh: It's hard!

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