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Rockalocka
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So, my parents still don't know that I don't believe in God anymore, and I'm in a state of depression from many things. I constantly think about death and I'm always scared. When I had God, I felt like he helped me. But I don't want to go back because it isn't real. Also, my parents are trying to send me to a Christian therapist, and I can't talk about my problems to another Christian! What should I do?

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Xian therapists are woos posing as real therapists. WIth them prayer fixes everything. Sounds like you have become a handful for your folks.

 

At your age I suggest play along as they are your prime support. Once you are on your feet you can rebel all you want. If you piss them off, they are indoctrinated to believe the debbul somehow got a hold of you.

 

With the little you have learned here, you should be able to pull off pretending.

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"That sounds entertaining actually..."

 

It is! When I was 17, my parents sent me to one. I felt like a cat toying with its prey during our weekly therapy sessions.

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My parents thought that if I brought my phone upstairs, the decile would sneak into my mind and make me download inappropriate apps. Yeah. I deal with that. And the fact that I have to go to church camp all week next week. Overnight.

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Rockalocka, may I ask how old you are? During my last couple of years at home I was very unhappy, but I managed to hang on confident in the knowledge that freedom from my parents was in view. If you're within sight of independent adulthood, then hang in there. Once you're of legal age your parents have no legal power over you, then you can live as you please and it is up to them if they want to relate to the real you or not.

 

However, I know that is a longer-term approach. In the meantime, my advice would be to act on who you are, not to react to your parents or the counselor or anyone else. I don't know your parents, but would a completely mature approach be worth a try? Something like sitting down with them and saying: "Look, it is obvious we have completely different viewpoints on life. I strongly feel that what people believe is a fundamental freedom of each individual. I think you should respect what I believe and I will respect what you believe, without trying to change each other's minds." I know that is hard to do as a youngster, but sometimes parents really just need to hear their kids speak like reasoning adults.

 

In the short-term, definitely hang in there. It is not uncommon for young people to think about death and get depressed. There is a heck of a long beautiful life ahead of you that is very worth living. In a few short years you will be a free individual who can make the most of your own life.

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Christian summer camp? Oh my god, I did that every summer ages 8-18. I had a nightmare once about having to go back to camp as an atheist.

 

I can't wait for you to post here after you get back. Try to have a great sense of humor about it, sense you'll be trapped there anyway. you'll be like a spy or a journalist on the front lines.

 

I've been to several counselors who are christians ( baptist even) and they didn't try to convert me. They helped me a lot actually. Any counselor worth his/her salt can help someone with depression without using the Bible. I hope you get a good one.

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Death has been a big issue for mankind, but remember one of the main reasons why we have religion today is a coping mechanism to deal with death. You get to believe in a God who has everything under control and that one day you'll go to Heaven when you die. But we know that's just fantasy. Wishful thinking. Seomthing to make people feel more comfortable about death. And yes, it's a very effective way of overcoming the fear of death, but just remember that's fantasy is all it is. Try to focus on life now and ways you can improve things. You only have one so you don't want to waste it. Fill your life with healthy relationships with real people. If they're not healthy relationships, cut them off as soon as you can. That's the answer I believe. I look back at my life. The times I was happiest and most content wasn't the times I was "closest to God", but the times I was closest to human beings who brought positivity to my life - people who make you happy to be alive and bring joy to your life.

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Geez I wish I was lucky enough to be sent to a Christian therapist. Entertaining is right!

 

Non-Christian therapists are too easy to fuck with, I can't imagine how much fun messing with a Christian one would be :HaHa:

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Get a suicide crisis number off the internet and call it. Tell them that you are going to kill yourself if you have to stay with your parents anymore. It might get you removed from the home, but at least you don't have to deal with there tyrannical mind control any more.

 

You might even like a foster home.

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I'm with decafaholic.

 

I would make sure the therapist is licensed and I would ask she or he to explain to my satisfaction the rules of confidentiality.

 

Any mature psychotherapist understands that the lack of mature and rational coping skills are what lead to toxic and self defeating behavior.

 

Rockalocka you know when someone is not authentic. Before I judged therapy or a therapist I would at least allow myself the chance to be exposed to whatever is offered. If you do not who's the looser, you're parents, the therapist or you?

If you're afraid you"ll be brainwashed or will be further duped into an irrational cult you may suffer from esteem issues and can't trust your own gut, all of which would indicate a need to work with a mental health professional.

 

I have found no serious gain or abiding satisfaction in one-upping, but that's just me. If your serious about finding solutions and a therapist doesn't spot your insincerity or games, do yourself a favor; stop the session and leave, you're wasting your time and your parents money.

 

I do not see cleverness and hokes as a viable alternative. From what you tell us it is evident that you face serious issues and circumstance! I would suggest meeting life with creditable action! Since it's your life that is on the line here (not all of our"s out here in cyberspace) the very best that you can muster is the only requirement. Your best may change things, then again, it may not. Only you can know and only you will have to face what happens next.

 

Responsibility is knocking on your door! "Independence of one's parents means not the rejection of them but self-sufficiency....Independence of one's instincts means not the rejection of them but rather control over them." (R. Segal)

 

If you learn to survive and thrive now what will your life look like when you're on you own?

 

A piece of me anguishes with you!

 

saner

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So, my parents still don't know that I don't believe in God anymore, and I'm in a state of depression from many things. I constantly think about death and I'm always scared. When I had God, I felt like he helped me. But I don't want to go back because it isn't real. Also, my parents are trying to send me to a Christian therapist, and I can't talk about my problems to another Christian! What should I do?

 

Will your parents let you see a real therapist? You might ask them. If you know for sure they won't, you could just pick one in your area and tell your parents it's Christian. Maybe if you called and explained the situation the therapist, maybe they'd go along with it. I'm sure there's a therapist that would love to help out someone suffering in a fundamentalist religious family.

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Going to a Christian therapist was the beginning for me of a severe depression that ended in a nervous breakdown and considering suicide. I'm not trying to scare the OP, but telling a depressed person to use therapy to fuck with the therapist doesn't seem like a great idea.

 

Maybe it's a funny idea for an atheist to play cat and mouse with a Christian therapist when the atheist is in an intellectually and emotionally healthy place and secure in his nonbelief, or if he doesn't really need therapy at all. But to someone who is already depressed, scared and isolated, knowing that you can't trust your therapist can make you just feel more isolated.

 

If I could do it again, knowing what I know now, the fallout from being (at least partially) honest with my parents and standing up to being bombarded with Christianity would have been better than continually giving in to being bombarded with Christianity while at the same time having to pretend that I believed in it.

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