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Revelations


Falloutdude
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Personally i've gotten into reading revelations, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever....The only thing that seems to have some vague application is the bible mention of "...three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet. 14For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty." which has been pointed to to vaguely refer to the UFO/"Grey alien" phenomenon. Although now that i look at it, the verses also come after the verses describing the waters turning to blood and the euphrates river drying up....Not to mention the bible says THREE unclean spirits. Nothing about UFOs or other such phenomenon. Not to mention a lot of supposed UFO accounts have more than 3 lights, or "crafts" or whatever.

Personally i find it fascinating, albeit that none of it seems to make any sense. Even if you understood this stuff, how's this stuff a warning at all? It gives almost no signs that can be seen before "the times" they happen in. Not to mention the symbolism is completely unhelpful, i mean what the fuck is going on? I don't even think people from the period it was written could discern what the hell it was saying. Not to mention that even pastors of today who are supposed to have the spirit of god guiding their interpretation don't agree on what's going on.....WHAT THE FUCK GOD?!

More importantly, what the fuck was that guy smoking?!

On a serious note, does anyone have any clue how this stuff can be applied to a preterist view of the bible? That is, other than the whole beast and what not, how can these things apply to what was going on at the time? Not so much out of fear, more curiosity. Now that this one part has been debunked, i find the whole thing interesting, again, even though it seems to be totally random....

I also know that a lot of apocalyptic literature is contained in the gospels, although i don't know for sure what it says. I'm assuming it contains a lot of the stuff that evangelists talk about.

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It has all the markings of either a good acid trip or a bad pastrami sandwich at bedtime. Yet I've known fundies that made their life's work trying to explain the "jewish bad dream" book. Hand drawn charts and graphs and time-lines (god isn't a very good artist) and such. What a load.

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If it's that difficult for anyone to understand, is it really worth worrying about?

 

The faithful Biblical scholars are in disagreement. As with most of the Bible, a case can be made for several different meanings - if indeed there is a coherent meaning in there somewhere.

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three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet. 14For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty."

 

The "dragon" is clearly a metaphor for a French dude who smokes too much, eats frog legs, and then barfs up frog legs after drinking too much wine.

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On a serious note, does anyone have any clue how this stuff can be applied to a preterist view of the bible?

 

I had to look up "preterist view of the Bible" to see what that was, so I learned something new today. If the world ended in 70 A.D., then Revelation couldn't be applied, could it? Just me thinking out loud, I guess. God really sucks at getting his point across: i.e. there ain't no such thing as divine revelation.

 

 

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I remember the christian parties I went to. Many of them turned into an end times discussion - that was time to leave. Always a goofy know-it-all (or 2) there to explain everything.

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I remember reading through it during church services when I was bored...even when I was a "Christian" I thought it was pretty outlandish and just sounded like a bad trip.

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What's funny is if someone wrote something like this today, he would likely be referred to the nearest mental hospital where he would be diagnosed with psychosis or some other mental illness, and treated as a mental patient.

 

But, because it was written 2000 years ago, Christians decide it's more reasonable to believe he must have been sane and that he was channeling "god" :lmao:

 

Cuckoo, cuckoo! :crazy:

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I suggest getting a scholarly book of New Testament criticism and reading about it. It's pretty interesting, and in context it actually makes a lot of sense.

 

In brief (and from memory), many scholars think it's a coded message from one early Christian to others, identifying various threats to Christianity and offering them encouragement in the future, all in code. Each of the fantastic creatures and astronomical events has a specific meaning which people who were familiar with the astrological literature at the time would have been able to puzzle out. It was written in this code because if you wrote a letter that said "Nero is evil but don't worry, we'll triumph eventually" you'd end up on the wrong end of a spear.

 

The number of the beast, 616, is supposedly the name "Nero" in some kind of Hebrew or Greek numerical code.

 

This isn't the only possible reading and New Testament scholars are not unanimous about it, but I'm pretty sure it's a popular one.

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Fun Fact:

 

The island of patmos, which is where John was exiled when writing the book of revelation, is known to have some of the most psylocibin-(the ingredient in magic mushrooms)rich shrooms of any kind of shrooms on the planet.

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Whoever wrote revelations was either batshit crazy or really fucking high.

 

 

come come now. you are jumping to an unreasonable conclusion here. It is entirely possible to be BOTH batshit crazy and really fucking high. I witness this phenomenon regularly.

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I've found a couple of theories about the meaning of the book of Revelations that are much more plausible than it being a book of prophecy.

 

Both of these attribute the book of Revelation to being about what was going on during the time it was written, not what was to take place in the future. Overcame Faith has begun a well researched thesis that you can find here (just note that it is not yet complete and will take you some time to read) :

 

Top Ten Reasons Not to Fear Biblical End-times Scenarios

 

A video:

 

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St. John had a vision, a dream, a nightmare. I doubt John wrote it. To me it reads like a condemnation of the Christian church and the wrath of god will be poured out against it. Who knows? I think anyone who reads it can get a different interpretation every time they read it.

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