Popular Post RevOxley_501 Posted July 27, 2011 Popular Post Share Posted July 27, 2011 Introduction The below post was originally published on my blog last night...I think it's important to share here, in this community of people that those years ago helped me to survive my time of doubt. I was a member of this forum for a little over a year and the extimonies and conversations here were vital to my survival and to helping me avoid a certain and self inflicted death. Now that I've made it past that pain and done all the grieving I needed to do, I'm taking the time to make myself available to others that may need the same or even more one on one help in this area. I'm trying to get this post spread around the internet so that as many potential doubters may read it as possible... I thank you guys, even if none of the old faces are still here, for the time and energy and love you put into this great work. The original post can be found at my website - www.ragingrev.com - shortlink: bit.ly/mSGaBN _____________ I remember thinking – knowing really, during that indescribably difficult and painful time of my life when all of my doubts were finally being dealt with, that this darkness and self-hatred was something I was destined to endure until I died. I remember this feeling, hopelessness, being all that I could feel for some time. I was losing my faith. I was losing the core of who I thought I was. I’ve tried to describe this pain before but my words can’t do it justice. This was an involuntary reversal of that which I once KNEW; that my god existed, loved me, and had plans for my life. To know something and then to no longer know that something, especially something so vital to my own existence can be absolutely devastating. It was for me. For over two years I wanted to end my life every day. It seemed like the only way. Eventually I began to accept who I had become, I stopped lying to myself and calling myself a believer. I wasn’t anymore and for a long time I was ashamed of it. Eventually it became the thing I am most proud of. Today I’m writing this for those of you that find yourselves in a place similar to where I was just a few years ago. Those of you struggling to understand who it is that you are and to come to grips with the terms of your existence. I’m writing today to tell those of you that fear god’s wrath or your family’s rejection that god is not a threat and a family that rejects you for being exactly who you are isn’t one worth having. I want you to know that you deserve to be exactly who you are without shame or fear. You don’t have to pretend if you don’t want to, nor do you have to meet anyone’s expectations. I’m writing this because I know that there are thousands of you out there who, because of the idea that you are totally depraved and unworthy of anything but punishment has been pounded into you for your entire life, need to know these things; this idea is irreconcilably wrong and you are not the first nor the last to endure this – you are a member of a family of people that prefer truth over comfort, happiness over devotion, and doubt over false certainty. You are a unique member of a community of millions of people that have been exactly in the midst of their own version of where you are now. You need to know this. You need to know that even though right now you feel like no one else in the entire world understands the pain you feel and the loneliness of moving from one station in life to another – we do. I’m writing this to say that, if you need it, my door is open. I’ll provide whatever advice you may need, bringing my own experiences into what you are dealing with or if you want I’ll just shut up and listen. I’m only an email away. Why bother? Many people don’t understand the drive I have to help people make it through their crisis of faith. To clear up any mystery or confusion, this isn’t in the least about “converting” people to atheism. My goal is to make sure that the group of people that are most in need yet the most ignored have someone to turn to when all seems lost. I don’t personally care if anyone seeking my help renounces faith all together, that would be selfish – I just want people to know that, no matter what, it gets better and the result is well worth the pain. Suicide rates of gay teens and young adults are through the roof, though I haven’t seen any studies about people dealing with the results of a lost faith my own experience tells me that this too is driving suicide rates due to the despair that so often accompanies doubt. I bother because I wish someone had bothered with me and I wish I would have had the courage to reach out to someone sooner than I did. A side note, for The Church: I know, I get it. This sounds absolutely awful coming from your perspective. I’m potentially taking someone away from “salvation” and grace. I totally understand why you might be upset at this prospect…but what I don’t think you understand is that these people hurt, they hurt in ways that you probably don’t understand and I’m sorry to say it but you’ve probably had your chance to help …and unfortunately you probably blew it. The Church just isn’t good at helping doubters because the real issues never really get discussed. If you’ve never been in those shoes it’s just not something you can understand much less help someone else with. So, respectfully, I ask that you work with me here. If the lives of these people are as important to you as they are to me I need you to put away your dogma for a moment and consider the consequences of someone taking their life over doubt because of your inability to help them cope. It may be the most important thing you ever do to just help someone find this page or some other resource for doubters. Please, put these lives first. If you know a member of your church or youth group and you think they need help please get in touch with me or someone else that can help, someone that’s been there. There ARE doubters in your congregation, they may even be in your pulpit. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Hell yeah 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
decafaholic Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I, too, was in a very dark place when I began to lose my faith and I had no one in real life to talk to about it. I'm so grateful for this site. And I echo what you said: It gets better. It gets MUCH better! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamnedSoul Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Thank you for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevOxley_501 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thanks everyone, for the feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulyfree Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I hope this gets pinned because it is a beautiful and loving welcome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Hi, RevOxley I'm new to this site and just found your posting. It's so true! Deconversion is very painful and difficult. My heart aches for people going through this, although it also pains me even more to see people suffer under religion, throwing themselves (full of self-loathing) at an unforgiving, all-consuming fire. All I can say for sure is that deconversion sure looks different now that I'm the one doing the leaving.... Thanks for your encouraging post. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevOxley_501 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hi, RevOxley I'm new to this site and just found your posting. It's so true! Deconversion is very painful and difficult. My heart aches for people going through this, although it also pains me even more to see people suffer under religion, throwing themselves (full of self-loathing) at an unforgiving, all-consuming fire. All I can say for sure is that deconversion sure looks different now that I'm the one doing the leaving.... Thanks for your encouraging post. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevOxley_501 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 I hope this gets pinned because it is a beautiful and loving welcome. How would I get it pinned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulyfree Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I couldn't find anything about it in the 'help' area. My guess would be that you'd need to get ahold of a moderator and request it. To find them, go to the FORUM main page. Go to the bottom where it will show all current activity (kind of interesting if you've never checked it out). Choose 'The Moderating Team', and it will pop up. I don't think this forum has a single moderator responsible for it so choose your favorite and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Thank you for this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 What a wonderful post. Yes, it does get better. Once you've fought your way out of the nightmare, there is such a feeling of freedom. In fact, I have found a whole new, beautiful world that's been there all along just waiting to be enjoyed. I hope, like you, that people will begin to wake up, an realize that religion is just an illusion, maybe even a diversion. As long as people live in fear, they can be controlled. Bullies seek out the vulnerable. How much more vulnerable can we be living in fear of being tortured for eternity. And how easy of a target that makes us. I personally know, that a lot of preachers and even churches feed off of our fear and ultimately our money. My stepfather was a preacher. He wasn't worried or interested in saving any souls. He was interested in how many members he had and how much money he was receiving from them. (Not saying all preachers are that way.) But they know how to keep us scared and how to keep us coming back. I personally think it's just a money game. Make it illegal to receive money for preaching the gospel and watch how many churches close down. Watch how many "preachers" will let the people find their own way to god or not. I imagine that once it's not profitable to run a church, there won't be any. Not trying to hijack your thread, I just agree with everything you wrote and hope that anyone who is experiencing doubt will look beyond the church for answers, because the church is only going to give you the answers that keep you going back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
openpalm45 Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Thank you so much for your kindness. Before I deconverted, I never realized how painful and heartbreaking the process of losing your faith can be. Its nice to know there are people out there who understand and care. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 When all you gotta keep is strong, move along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Revster... Hellova return back to the old digs. I've missed your witty and sharp "pen" here. Thanks for posting the above, well worth the time and read. kevinL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevOxley_501 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 Revster... Hellova return back to the old digs. I've missed your witty and sharp "pen" here. Thanks for posting the above, well worth the time and read. kevinL I was wondering where you were brother. Glad to see you still kickin round here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilcoppertop Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 That was as good a read second time through as it was the first. Yeah...I snoop your blog...lol! Kinda nice to "see" a familiar face on here, even though you don't know me. Anyway...thanks for posting that! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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