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The Third Coming Of Christ


dB-Paradox
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Why did we always refer to Jesus' return as his second coming? Technically, it's supposed to be his third, no? He was born to a virgin (first coming) and then he died, but came back to life (second coming) and one day he's going to surf the clouds, rounding up all the believers in the blink of an eye (third coming). Well, according to Camping, the true believer were already raptured spiritually, so that would have been the third...maybe we're waiting for a fourth? But then again, it's more like the 5000th coming if we count all the times he was supposed to have returned!

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Why did we always refer to Jesus' return as his second coming? Technically, it's supposed to be his third, no? He was born to a virgin (first coming) and then he died, but came back to life (second coming) and one day he's going to surf the clouds, rounding up all the believers in the blink of an eye (third coming). Well, according to Camping, the true believer were already raptured spiritually, so that would have been the third...maybe we're waiting for a fourth? But then again, it's more like the 5000th coming if we count all the times he was supposed to have returned!

 

Fact is, jesus came a lot, him and his apostles all made a super secret pact to come at least 3 times a day to represent the father, the son, and the holy goose. Where is my evidence? I don't need evidence I have faith that he came.

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Surprised the woos have not invented another word for cum err come.

 

Which sounds better?

 

Attention, the train jesus is coming on platform.... please stand back

 

Attention, the train jesus is arriving...... please stand back.

 

When your lady moans OMG I'm arriving..... just does not have the same.........

 

As for jesus coming in the clouds, how gross is that? McLeod is a surname ....

 

As for the OP

 

What was the question......:grin:

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The third cuming of christ would make an awesome porn.

 

LOL, I'm going to get in trouble at work for laughing so hard at my desk!!! Can you imagine the dialogue?

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Speaking of which, what does jebus shout when he comes?

 

Oh My Self....... Oh My Meeeeee.....

 

Maybe he just had wet dreams about fucking himself into existence.......

 

Talk about weird mother issues - gross.

 

Only dude to ever have known his mother in that way

 

He sure fucked up his own commandments, but hey some woos suggest Cain and Seth fucked their mother or sisters for offspring so in Wooistan, anything goes (or comes):shrug:

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Surprised the woos have not invented another word for cum err come.

 

...

 

As for jesus coming in the clouds, how gross is that? McLeod is a surname ....

 

...

 

Now you know where the expression 'snow job' comes from ...

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This ironic pic comes from a woos blog.

 

Clouds1.jpg

 

Unintended porn?

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C'mon guys - He is without sin....................................

 

Jesus-Virgin.jpg

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The proud citizens of Wooistan like to tell us jeebus was a man just like us yet w/o sin.

 

Maybe his lone star visits to "pray" were in fact just an excuse to jack off out of sight of his disciples. Why else were they told to stand guard?

 

If he was truly a man amongst men, he should have had morning glories and nocturnal emissions or at the very least frigging huge blue balls.

 

Mrs Palm and her five daughters, faithful servants of the male youth for millenia.

 

hand.jpg

Comes in LH and RH drive models :HaHa:

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I AM THE THIRD REVELATION!!

Are you trying to come back on topic?:nono:

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If he was truly a man amongst men, he should have had morning glories and nocturnal emissions or at the very least frigging huge blue balls.

I always look at things like this, too. It's easy to look at Jesus like some religious superhero some 2000 years ago, but I used to imagine what it would have been like to lived in the day walking next to him. Instead of looking at things superficially, I always dig a little deeper....deeper....DEEPER!!!

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If he was truly a man amongst men, he should have had morning glories and nocturnal emissions or at the very least frigging huge blue balls.

I always look at things like this, too. It's easy to look at Jesus like some religious superhero some 2000 years ago, but I used to imagine what it would have been like to lived in the day walking next to him. Instead of looking at things superficially, I always dig a little deeper....deeper....DEEPER!!!

 

The woos always cite that he was w/o sin but he broke 2 laws. Sabbath work and proclaiming himself as god. Both carried the death penalty.

 

The virgin aspect is moot as most biblical accounts, except where sex=bad do not chronicle the detailed sex life of their heroes. Furthermore, a man at that time at 30 not paired off to another female (arranged marriage) seems unlikely.

 

Mary getting fucked by the holy spook takes care of this as she must have been aware of a divine coming and conception and thus it is inferred that she knew he was gawd. Yet the texts suggest when he went missing at 12, he had to remind them he was about his fathers business when M&J crapped him out.

 

Maybe at 12, he had met a hottie at the temple and was trying to get laid. Fuck we can also make shit up here...:HaHa:

 

I have even heard woos say he was not an attractive man and that is why he had no comings of the penile kind. There is a text that suggests this in the OT.

 

With 12 dudes, he could have been gay?

 

If he was god, he was thus male and female so he just fucked himself?

 

He disappears for 40 days and then comes back stating he had a party with the debbul. The debbul manifests in many forms doesn't s/he?

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