dB-Paradox Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Why did we always refer to Jesus' return as his second coming? Technically, it's supposed to be his third, no? He was born to a virgin (first coming) and then he died, but came back to life (second coming) and one day he's going to surf the clouds, rounding up all the believers in the blink of an eye (third coming). Well, according to Camping, the true believer were already raptured spiritually, so that would have been the third...maybe we're waiting for a fourth? But then again, it's more like the 5000th coming if we count all the times he was supposed to have returned! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Why did we always refer to Jesus' return as his second coming? Technically, it's supposed to be his third, no? He was born to a virgin (first coming) and then he died, but came back to life (second coming) and one day he's going to surf the clouds, rounding up all the believers in the blink of an eye (third coming). Well, according to Camping, the true believer were already raptured spiritually, so that would have been the third...maybe we're waiting for a fourth? But then again, it's more like the 5000th coming if we count all the times he was supposed to have returned! Fact is, jesus came a lot, him and his apostles all made a super secret pact to come at least 3 times a day to represent the father, the son, and the holy goose. Where is my evidence? I don't need evidence I have faith that he came. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 quickest sex off topic ever. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Surprised the woos have not invented another word for cum err come. Which sounds better? Attention, the train jesus is coming on platform.... please stand back Attention, the train jesus is arriving...... please stand back. When your lady moans OMG I'm arriving..... just does not have the same......... As for jesus coming in the clouds, how gross is that? McLeod is a surname .... As for the OP What was the question...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostman42 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 The third cuming of christ would make an awesome porn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 The third cuming of christ would make an awesome porn. LOL, I'm going to get in trouble at work for laughing so hard at my desk!!! Can you imagine the dialogue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Speaking of which, what does jebus shout when he comes? Oh My Self....... Oh My Meeeeee..... Maybe he just had wet dreams about fucking himself into existence....... Talk about weird mother issues - gross. Only dude to ever have known his mother in that way He sure fucked up his own commandments, but hey some woos suggest Cain and Seth fucked their mother or sisters for offspring so in Wooistan, anything goes (or comes) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Surprised the woos have not invented another word for cum err come. ... As for jesus coming in the clouds, how gross is that? McLeod is a surname .... ... Now you know where the expression 'snow job' comes from ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 This ironic pic comes from a woos blog. Unintended porn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 28, 2011 Moderator Share Posted July 28, 2011 C'mon guys - He is without sin.................................... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Jesus "Cialis" Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chel356 Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I'm loving this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 The proud citizens of Wooistan like to tell us jeebus was a man just like us yet w/o sin. Maybe his lone star visits to "pray" were in fact just an excuse to jack off out of sight of his disciples. Why else were they told to stand guard? If he was truly a man amongst men, he should have had morning glories and nocturnal emissions or at the very least frigging huge blue balls. Mrs Palm and her five daughters, faithful servants of the male youth for millenia. Comes in LH and RH drive models Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chosendarkness Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I AM THE THIRD REVELATION!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I AM THE THIRD REVELATION!! Are you trying to come back on topic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chosendarkness Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I AM THE THIRD REVELATION!! Are you trying to come back on topic? No, sorry. That's my favorite quote from There Will Be Blood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted July 29, 2011 Author Share Posted July 29, 2011 If he was truly a man amongst men, he should have had morning glories and nocturnal emissions or at the very least frigging huge blue balls. I always look at things like this, too. It's easy to look at Jesus like some religious superhero some 2000 years ago, but I used to imagine what it would have been like to lived in the day walking next to him. Instead of looking at things superficially, I always dig a little deeper....deeper....DEEPER!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 If he was truly a man amongst men, he should have had morning glories and nocturnal emissions or at the very least frigging huge blue balls. I always look at things like this, too. It's easy to look at Jesus like some religious superhero some 2000 years ago, but I used to imagine what it would have been like to lived in the day walking next to him. Instead of looking at things superficially, I always dig a little deeper....deeper....DEEPER!!! The woos always cite that he was w/o sin but he broke 2 laws. Sabbath work and proclaiming himself as god. Both carried the death penalty. The virgin aspect is moot as most biblical accounts, except where sex=bad do not chronicle the detailed sex life of their heroes. Furthermore, a man at that time at 30 not paired off to another female (arranged marriage) seems unlikely. Mary getting fucked by the holy spook takes care of this as she must have been aware of a divine coming and conception and thus it is inferred that she knew he was gawd. Yet the texts suggest when he went missing at 12, he had to remind them he was about his fathers business when M&J crapped him out. Maybe at 12, he had met a hottie at the temple and was trying to get laid. Fuck we can also make shit up here... I have even heard woos say he was not an attractive man and that is why he had no comings of the penile kind. There is a text that suggests this in the OT. With 12 dudes, he could have been gay? If he was god, he was thus male and female so he just fucked himself? He disappears for 40 days and then comes back stating he had a party with the debbul. The debbul manifests in many forms doesn't s/he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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