Vigile Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 It's one thing to mooch off your sister (or the like) and another to mooch off their kids. He knows his time is up and it's time to get going. He's just waiting for the ax to fall. He's probably hoping it won't but that's neither here nor there. You have your own life to lead and you already helped take care of your mom. If your uncle has no kids of his own (I don't) then you can still be there for him but just from a distance. If he doesn't appreciate that then that's his problem. If one of my niece's was putting this much consideration into what to do with me after all that has happened in her life I would be touched. At an old age I would probably be a little scared as to what might become of me and how I might fit-in at the work place (things that I think most people think about) but if I knew I had someone there that cared that would make dealing with that all that much easier. No need for hand-holding but just someone who might be supportive (kind of why you came here I imagine) especially until I was back on an even keel. mwc I'd add a big +1 to what MWC wrote. It would be easy, and likely even appropriate to just give the guy the boot, but it would be much kinder, and still likely effective to take this approach instead. I'd sure feel a lot better about myself if I chose this route. The world is a harsh place, but we can all choose to make it a bit friendlier and still not be suckers if we take a wise and thoughtful approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Give him a deadline, if he doesn't agree tell hi to get the fuck out. He sounds like a disrespectful twat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyChef Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Sounds like he needs help mentally,as well as to kick the alcohol.You are going to have to have him removed because the lack of respect can turn to physical abuse in a moment! You must protect yourself because no one else will take responsibility for your survival and safety!! Human empathy and sympathy can only go so far and the addict has a pattern of self destruction in place,he will only drag you under,like a drowning person! His actions are also criminal,call the police.Abuse cannot be tolerated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 If you own the house and it is in your name, you can give him the boot any time. If you are renting and on the lease and he is not, you can give him the boot any time. However, keep in mind some states can make you pay his relocation, meaning his deposits and first months rent if you allow him to remain to the point where he becomes totally dependent upon you for his welfare. You pay his bills, you buy him food, for probably more than six months. Personally, I would show him the door as soon as possible and if he cannot handle it, he is at the age to consider a nursing home. If he doesn't like it, tough. If he won't leave, get the Sheriff. He is a big boy and over 21 and you aren't his mommy. There are many shelters he can consider or pull up his big girl panties and go get a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKR Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I have lived with my mom for a few years now to help her take care of the house and herself. Last summer while she was in the hospital, I allowed a homeless uncle of mine (my father's half brother) come and live with us. My stipulations were that he work on becoming self-sufficient. Well, once my mom got out of the hospital my mom decided he didn't need to do that. I never intended this house to be a permanent home for him, but I think he has come to expect it. My uncle has worn out his welcome with all other family members. He inherited a house and some money in 2005, so he quit his job, sold the house, and drank the money away traveling cross country. He's quite the eccentric type. The family is upset with him for frittering the money and not looking for jobs when we give him a place to stay. If I kick him out, he has nowhere to go. Has has already stayed with all his friends over the years and they have said he can't stay with him either. He is rather grumpy, abusive at times, and controlling. Now that my mother has died, it is time to send him on his way. However, I am so torn because I can't just send him on the street. My mother was supposed to tell him to have arrangements made so that he could move out immediately after she died, but of course they never had that discussion. He was a great help to my mother and did help out around the house, he just refuses to get a job or give me any respect. I am afraid he is going to guilt trip me and verbally abuse me when I break the news. Once my mother's life insurance money comes in, if there is enough, my mother asked that I give him some. I don't mind because it will help soften the blow on his end as he tries to find a new place. I plan on giving him 60 days once I get the money, about $2000, and our truck to get him on his way. Does this sound fair? I'd like to be harsher, but my family thinks I should be more generous. It actually doesn't sound fair. You really shouldn't have to give him anything. He's a lazy dick who doesn't respect you and is just using you. Get rid of him in anyway you see fit. You have just been enabling him to be lazy and a prick. He'll use you and walk all over you for as long as you allow it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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