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Deeply Sorry,


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This is a letter I wrote a few months back. I thought that I might share it with you guys...

 

 

Hi God,

All of my life I have believed in you. All of my life I have struggled to do what you have said is right. All of my mature life I have had this internal struggle between what I want in my life and what I was taught was right. So now I need to decide one way or the other. To continue as I do now will only cause me countless problems.

I have been thinking about this a lot and there are many things that I do not understand. I realize that I can never solve this with pure logic because my logic will always be flawed and inferior to yours. I realize that we humans have such simple minds that our best attempts to understand are ultimately flawed. I can not even begin to try to understand how you think. So I can not approach this with my logic.

So how else can I know about this if I can not rely upon my logic? Should I just feel a certain way, or perhaps just ‘know’ on the inside that you are real? Again, how can I rely upon this? Feelings change constantly and are much less reliable than logic. Hence feelings are not appropriate to know.

Now I don’t mean to go ahead and tell you how to do things. But somethings are just so confusing and complicated that I can not possibly know the answers. For example; I was born into a Christian family. That has always been the basis for my beliefs. The fact that my parents, who wouldn’t lie to me about this, believe with all of there being that you exist just as in the Bible. Can this be a basis for my beliefs? What if I was born into a Muslim or Hindu family? Then I would have grown up with and have been taught those beliefs. So this seems to be a unreliable way to know this.

There are also so many different religions. Me, with my simple mind, even if I was looking the best way I knew how, for the entirety of my life, I could not possible look into all of these different religions. There are just too many to look at them in this systematic way. Surely, if you made man, you would have given him a way to know that he is yours.

But ultimately, all of my analysis here comes down to my logic and feelings, which as I have already said is ultimately flawed.

So God, as you can see, I have always been seeking you. But I am so confused as to what is right and whether or not you are there. This is all so complicated and confusing. How could you have let it be so difficult for your creation to know that you are there? You will need to help me with this one, otherwise it will continue to cause me massive problems.

I can not live this split life any longer. I will still keep my eyes open for signs of you, but I will from now on live my life as if you do not exist. Please prove me wrong! You know my heart. Please do not just leave me here on this Earth, just expected to know this alone! I need to know who you are!

Deeply sorry,

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This is a letter I wrote a few months back. I thought that I might share it with you guys...

 

 

Deeply sorry,

 

Welcome Timcik! I truly understand your letter. I so much understand your letter that I have tears in my eyes right now. The sincerity you wrote is beautiful. Stay with us and we'll all work through this together my friend. I am so glad you are here. I mean that. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt letter..

 

Sincerely, Margee

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