So Lost, So Scared

[Rockalocka]

Why?

 

I tend to ask myself this simple question so many times a day. Why did I crawl back to religion? Why am I so afraid of the Biblical end times? Why do I believe what I believe? Why am I doubting myself? Why do I have so much anxiety? Why do I have panic attacks? Why won't God fix them?

 

Thing is, I can't freaking answer these questions.

 

Everywhere I turn, I find fear. I find fear in religion, movies, music, the government! I find fear in myself. The Bible says all these things that are unclear. Things that contradict themselves. Things that no one can try to tell me the real truth about them without telling me their 'truth'.

 

Like the end times.

 

Our youth pastor just announced that next week he'll be teaching on the Book of Revelation. To be honest, I'm scared. It worsens my stress and anxiety to think "Hey, this may be the decade or less that Jesus returns in so I don't get to go to college, have a wife, a job or kids...yay!". Why would I want that? He wouldn't stop saying how all the economic collapses were going to initiate the prophesied New World Order. And that scared me. How the prophecies just happen to line up in this day and age. And no matter what the Bible still says, it scares me. How do people historically explain the Book of Revelation and every other prophecy made in the Bible. Most of them are impossible! And though I've found much refuge in the forums here, it's hard to find real answers. Maybe God exists, maybe, maybe, maybe... I become more depressed every day. And I don't know what to do. Most of you are probably sO annoyed by me, but just bear with me. I need help. And fast.

[Tabula Rasa]

Rocka, they've been saying Jesus would come back for the last 2000 years, and a lot of shit has happened in that time that makes what we're going through now look tame. I fell for that "The Rapture is imminent " bullshit back in the Eighties. Back then, while not as bad as bad as the fifties, the nuclear war paranoia got pretty bad so a lot of the Evangelicals were saying "The End Times" were upon us. Well, twenty to thirty odd years later, the world's still here. Don't fall for this bullshit. You don't want to end up like me. I fell so utterly for this bullshit I made no plans for the future. I'm 45 now, with practically no job skills except retail, living with my folks(why move out? The rapture might happen tommorow!) While I can't blame my wasted life completely on believing all that rapture bullshit, it was a big factor in it. It's all bullshit Rocka. DON'T BELIEVE IT.

[Falloutdude]

OH MY GOD you're so much like me it's not funny.....I mean i swear to god, or whatever have you, that i've said these exact same things. I wish i still had the messages i shared with another person on this forum, but apparently i don't anymore, so i don't know what thread it is. I know OvercameFaith has written a whole thing about the probability of what Revelations is really a warning/commentary on what was going on from about 64/65-68 AD in the Roman empire to christians. I have a PDF of it but i don't know how to upload/share it on here...

 

I don't know what to tell you other than your fears only seem big because they are blown up in your head, you are so focused that everything seems like it'll never go away. I'd avoid going to that revelations thing if i were you, especially if you are having problems with fear already, it'll manipulate you heavily and make you quite scared. This fear will feel like "proof" to you that what he says is true, no matter how wild the assertion.

 

I know, i'm going through something like this myself...i feel like god might be real sometimes, but not because of solid or a bunch of "evidence" all i go off are sparse testimonials and things about the bible that "might" match the world we're in. I used to be really afraid of the one world government, until i realized how unlikely it was to happen in our age. I mean even if the USA's economy does collapse there's no way in hell all the other countries will just accept some uniform government, people are too stubborn for that. China is the only one that's in place to have a chance at taking the place as the new superpower, but there's no way the other countries will just accept chinese rules. So i find all this stuff highly unlikely. Not to mention the idea that there's going to be some satanic overlords isn't very likely because, if anything, secularism is on the rise, not a religion.

 

If you're anything like me, and it seems like you are, i'm guessing that a lot of what i say won't phase your fears, because, like with me, rational thought doesn't always do well against irrational fears. You're afraid, and your feelings and irrational beliefs reinforce themselves (ie i feel like it could be true, so it might be true, my feelings get more intense so i believe it more).'

 

I'm not saying not to find rational answers, but if you're like me there's a good chance once this is gone you'll find something else. Just as others have recommended to me, i recommend you find professional/secular help for your anxiety problems. More than likely it'll help a lot more to attack the main problem instead of the fears that come with it/the side effects. That is, find therapy to treat these issues rather than attacking every fear that comes along.

 

If any part of this sounds critical or mean, please know that IS NOT the intention. I only say this because i also am frequently afraid of annoying people on here, or misinterpret blunt reality/honesty as hostility (although it does pop up). I would recommend avoiding that youth group though, the guy running it sounds like a fear mongering douche (trust me i know those, i was raised pentecostal, home of the most charismatic, fear producing bastard preachers imaginable..)

[Deva]

I was saturated with end-times teachings in the early 70s. Guess what? Jesus didn't come back, no antichrist, nothing. Same bullshit different decade. Don't fall for it.

[LivingLife]

I was saturated with end-times teachings in the early 70s. Guess what? Jesus didn't come back, no antichrist, nothing. Same bullshit different decade. Don't fall for it.

I can vouch for this too. In the 80's when it was all the rage here, the arguments used in 2011 are exactly the same as it was back then. The only variable is the antichrist who always seems to be American for some reason and of course the pope is the false profit.

 

SSDD same shit different day.

[xandermac]

I was saturated with end-times teachings in the early 70s. Guess what? Jesus didn't come back, no antichrist, nothing. Same bullshit different decade. Don't fall for it.

 

Same here. I believed it with all my heart at the time too. It is bullshit. Now all that crap that scared me so much is just funny to me.

[Overcame Faith]

The Bible says all these things that are unclear. Things that contradict themselves. Things that no one can try to tell me the real truth about them without telling me their 'truth'.

 

Like the end times.

 

Our youth pastor just announced that next week he'll be teaching on the Book of Revelation. To be honest, I'm scared. It worsens my stress and anxiety to think "Hey, this may be the decade or less that Jesus returns in so I don't get to go to college, have a wife, a job or kids...yay!". Why would I want that? He wouldn't stop saying how all the economic collapses were going to initiate the prophesied New World Order. And that scared me. How the prophecies just happen to line up in this day and age. And no matter what the Bible still says, it scares me. How do people historically explain the Book of Revelation and every other prophecy made in the Bible. Most of them are impossible! And though I've found much refuge in the forums here, it's hard to find real answers. Maybe God exists, maybe, maybe, maybe... I become more depressed every day. And I don't know what to do. Most of you are probably sO annoyed by me, but just bear with me. I need help. And fast.

 

Think about this, Rock. If god had an important message for this generation, a message so important that the wrong decision by people living now would cost them their eternal souls and wreak havock on the whole world, why would he have told it to someone more than 2,000 years ago who wrote it down in a way that is ambiguous? Why wouldn't he tell it to us today in an unambiguous and straightforward way so we could all accept that the message was from god?

 

Remember, John of Patmos, the author of Revelation, did not even understand that the sun does not actually rise at all but only appears to rise because of the earth's rotation on its axis. He did not understand that there are microscopic organism which cause diseases. He did not understand that earthquakes are caused by tectonic plates deep within the earth releasing pressure because the earth is in constant change. He had no idea that North America existed. He had no idea there was such an animal called a Kangaroo in Australia, or bison in North America. So why would an intelligent god tell someone like John of Patmos anything about what would happen more than 2,000 years hence?

 

Think this through, Rock. If you come to your own logical conclusions it will help you tremendously. And try not to avoid this. Think......

[Overcame Faith]

And while you're thinking, think about this, too. Read the below passage very carefully. As you read, concentrate on the physical symptoms which the passage tells us the boy suffered. Try to think past what Jesus and the people say was wrong with the boy, and use your 21st century knowledge and understanding to answer my question. What was actually wrong with this boy?

 

14 When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. 15 As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him. 16 “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked.

 

17 A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18 Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”

 

19 “You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

 

20 So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

 

21 Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

 

“From childhood,” he answered. 22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

 

23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

 

24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

 

25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

 

26 The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

 

28 After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

 

29 He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.[a]”

 

Mark 9:14-29

 

Remember, this is the same Jesus who supposedly told John of Patmos what was to come in Revelation. Does Jesus have any credibility given his "diagnosis" of the boy's problems?

[Noggy]

Why?

 

I tend to ask myself this simple question so many times a day. Why did I crawl back to religion? Why am I so afraid of the Biblical end times? Why do I believe what I believe? Why am I doubting myself? Why do I have so much anxiety? Why do I have panic attacks? Why won't God fix them?

 

Thing is, I can't freaking answer these questions.

 

Everywhere I turn, I find fear. I find fear in religion, movies, music, the government! I find fear in myself. The Bible says all these things that are unclear. Things that contradict themselves. Things that no one can try to tell me the real truth about them without telling me their 'truth'.

 

Like the end times.

 

Our youth pastor just announced that next week he'll be teaching on the Book of Revelation. To be honest, I'm scared. It worsens my stress and anxiety to think "Hey, this may be the decade or less that Jesus returns in so I don't get to go to college, have a wife, a job or kids...yay!". Why would I want that? He wouldn't stop saying how all the economic collapses were going to initiate the prophesied New World Order. And that scared me. How the prophecies just happen to line up in this day and age. And no matter what the Bible still says, it scares me. How do people historically explain the Book of Revelation and every other prophecy made in the Bible. Most of them are impossible! And though I've found much refuge in the forums here, it's hard to find real answers. Maybe God exists, maybe, maybe, maybe... I become more depressed every day. And I don't know what to do. Most of you are probably sO annoyed by me, but just bear with me. I need help. And fast.

 

 

God won't fix it because he doesn't exist. He won't come back because he was never. Stop being so whiny, bro. If you would pay attention to the dozens of posts we've already posted explaining this shit, then you wouldn't have this problem.

 

 

[Falloutdude]

 

 

 

God won't fix it because he doesn't exist. He won't come back because he was never. Stop being so whiny, bro. If you would pay attention to the dozens of posts we've already posted explaining this shit, then you wouldn't have this problem.

 

 

 

There's a difference between being blunt, but constructive and just trying to put someone else down. Maybe he hasn't seen these other posts? Maybe they didn't address his exact questions or concerns? Maybe he's just having problems with anxiety and it's getting in the way of him thinking rationally? Again you probably haven't experienced this yourself....so i don't expect you to understand, but i still don't see why you take time out of your day to make people feel like shit....

[Margee]

God won't fix it because he doesn't exist. He won't come back because he was never. Stop being so whiny, bro. If you would pay attention to the dozens of posts we've already posted explaining this shit, then you wouldn't have this problem.

 

 

 

It's wonderful that you are 'fixed' Noggy - I am very happy for you, but try to remember that Ex -c is a 'support' site for those who are very 'brainwashed' and very hurt by religion and have a hard time 'coming out'.

[Noggy]

I understand helping and being supportive, but he is literally asking the same questions and getting the exact same answers. I dunno, I guess repetition is helpful to some people. But at some point he needs to stop "feeling" and start thinking. He needs to look at the premises and derive conclusions.

 

Just because you feel something, doesn't mean its relevent, or helpful. As is displayed by his problems. He's allowing his life to be controlled by feeling, and thus, he succumbs to the negative ones. You cant stop yourself from feeling something, but you can look at the feeling you are having and decide it is valid. And we've pointed out again and again that they are NOT valid. He just keeps talking about how he feels.

 

Rock: You may feel some way, and it will be unpleasant, but just like when you break up with a girl and wonder "WHAT IF I MADE A MISTAKE. WILL I EVER HAVE SEX EVER AGAIN?", feelings will pass. Truth will not. Think about it.

[Margee]

I understand helping and being supportive, but he is literally asking the same questions and getting the exact same answers. I dunno, I guess repetition is helpful to some people. But at some point he needs to stop "feeling" and start thinking. He needs to look at the premises and derive conclusions.

 

Just because you feel something, doesn't mean its relevent, or helpful. As is displayed by his problems. He's allowing his life to be controlled by feeling, and thus, he succumbs to the negative ones. You cant stop yourself from feeling something, but you can look at the feeling you are having and decide it is valid. And we've pointed out again and again that they are NOT valid. He just keeps talking about how he feels.

 

Rock: You may feel some way, and it will be unpleasant, but just like when you break up with a girl and wonder "WHAT IF I MADE A MISTAKE. WILL I EVER HAVE SEX EVER AGAIN?", feelings will pass. Truth will not. Think about it.

 

noggy: ''God won't fix it because he doesn't exist. He won't come back because he was never. Stop being so whiny, bro. If you would pay attention to the dozens of posts we've already posted explaining this shit, then you wouldn't have this problem.''

 

You've got some real good, valid points above noggy.

 

'Presentation' can go a long way to a supportive post, my friend.

[Noggy]

'Presentation' can go a long way to a supportive post, my friend.

 

 

Unfortunately that is what I suck at.

 

 

[Kattis]

OH MY GOD you're so much like me it's not funny.....I mean i swear to god, or whatever have you, that i've said these exact same things. I wish i still had the messages i shared with another person on this forum, but apparently i don't anymore, so i don't know what thread it is. I know OvercameFaith has written a whole thing about the probability of what Revelations is really a warning/commentary on what was going on from about 64/65-68 AD in the Roman empire to christians. I have a PDF of it but i don't know how to upload/share it on here...

 

I don't know what to tell you other than your fears only seem big because they are blown up in your head, you are so focused that everything seems like it'll never go away. I'd avoid going to that revelations thing if i were you, especially if you are having problems with fear already, it'll manipulate you heavily and make you quite scared. This fear will feel like "proof" to you that what he says is true, no matter how wild the assertion.

 

I know, i'm going through something like this myself...i feel like god might be real sometimes, but not because of solid or a bunch of "evidence" all i go off are sparse testimonials and things about the bible that "might" match the world we're in. I used to be really afraid of the one world government, until i realized how unlikely it was to happen in our age. I mean even if the USA's economy does collapse there's no way in hell all the other countries will just accept some uniform government, people are too stubborn for that. China is the only one that's in place to have a chance at taking the place as the new superpower, but there's no way the other countries will just accept chinese rules. So i find all this stuff highly unlikely. Not to mention the idea that there's going to be some satanic overlords isn't very likely because, if anything, secularism is on the rise, not a religion.

 

If you're anything like me, and it seems like you are, i'm guessing that a lot of what i say won't phase your fears, because, like with me, rational thought doesn't always do well against irrational fears. You're afraid, and your feelings and irrational beliefs reinforce themselves (ie i feel like it could be true, so it might be true, my feelings get more intense so i believe it more).'

 

I'm not saying not to find rational answers, but if you're like me there's a good chance once this is gone you'll find something else. Just as others have recommended to me, i recommend you find professional/secular help for your anxiety problems. More than likely it'll help a lot more to attack the main problem instead of the fears that come with it/the side effects. That is, find therapy to treat these issues rather than attacking every fear that comes along.

 

If any part of this sounds critical or mean, please know that IS NOT the intention. I only say this because i also am frequently afraid of annoying people on here, or misinterpret blunt reality/honesty as hostility (although it does pop up). I would recommend avoiding that youth group though, the guy running it sounds like a fear mongering douche (trust me i know those, i was raised pentecostal, home of the most charismatic, fear producing bastard preachers imaginable..)

 

 

WOW! I am very impressed by you tonight! Very touched! You who suffer so much from fear and anxiety related to the same sort of hang ups that freaks Rock out can of course understand him better than anyone.

And is probably better equipped to help him than anybody here and this is also what you seek to do. I think this is a very important part of the solution for you. Rising above your fears by reaching out to help someone you see in even more pain and confusion than yourself. RESPECT!

[Margee]

 

WOW! I am very impressed by you tonight! Very touched! You who suffer so much from fear and anxiety related to the same sort of hang ups that freaks Rock out can of course understand him better than anyone.

And is probably better equipped to help him than anybody here and this is also what you seek to do. I think this is a very important part of the solution for you. Rising above your fears by reaching out to help someone you see in even more pain and confusion than yourself. RESPECT!

 

I noticed this too Kattis! Dude 'kicks' right in there when someone needs help!! And good he is - cause he understands the pain!

 

Metal for the 'dude'

[Falloutdude]

I understand helping and being supportive, but he is literally asking the same questions and getting the exact same answers. I dunno, I guess repetition is helpful to some people. But at some point he needs to stop "feeling" and start thinking. He needs to look at the premises and derive conclusions.

 

Just because you feel something, doesn't mean its relevent, or helpful. As is displayed by his problems. He's allowing his life to be controlled by feeling, and thus, he succumbs to the negative ones. You cant stop yourself from feeling something, but you can look at the feeling you are having and decide it is valid. And we've pointed out again and again that they are NOT valid. He just keeps talking about how he feels.

 

Rock: You may feel some way, and it will be unpleasant, but just like when you break up with a girl and wonder "WHAT IF I MADE A MISTAKE. WILL I EVER HAVE SEX EVER AGAIN?", feelings will pass. Truth will not. Think about it.

 

You made some good points, but if you didn't elaborate he'd just think you're insulting him and wouldn't understand what you were trying to say

 

It is true people need to think more than feel in situations like this.Although it's hard for some one in that state to think rationally when their emotions are so much louder than reason. Especially if they have issues which make them even more emotional.

[Noggy]

I understand helping and being supportive, but he is literally asking the same questions and getting the exact same answers. I dunno, I guess repetition is helpful to some people. But at some point he needs to stop "feeling" and start thinking. He needs to look at the premises and derive conclusions.

 

Just because you feel something, doesn't mean its relevent, or helpful. As is displayed by his problems. He's allowing his life to be controlled by feeling, and thus, he succumbs to the negative ones. You cant stop yourself from feeling something, but you can look at the feeling you are having and decide it is valid. And we've pointed out again and again that they are NOT valid. He just keeps talking about how he feels.

 

Rock: You may feel some way, and it will be unpleasant, but just like when you break up with a girl and wonder "WHAT IF I MADE A MISTAKE. WILL I EVER HAVE SEX EVER AGAIN?", feelings will pass. Truth will not. Think about it.

 

You made some good points, but if you didn't elaborate he'd just think you're insulting him and wouldn't understand what you were trying to say

 

It is true people need to think more than feel in situations like this.Although it's hard for some one in that state to think rationally when their emotions are so much louder than reason. Especially if they have issues which make them even more emotional.

 

 

I understand, and I deal with people like this all the time. I, too, used to be a person ruled exclusively by emotion. I was in therapy, I was on medicine, I did all of that. They are just ways of treating symptoms, and not the real problem. Which is that we walk around like animals just reacting to how things make us feel, without using our ability to reason. The ability to dismiss your feelings based on reason is not one that just "happens". You have to practice it. People either don't know that, or are lazy, and so they do other bullshit to try to fix their problem.

 

 

[centauri]

Try not to be afraid of your acquired religious beliefs.

Acquired beliefs are often baggage given to you by others, usually in an attempt to indoctrinate and control.

The youth pastor will probably skip over these verses:

Rev 1:1-3

The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John:

Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, and of all things that he saw.

Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.

 

The youth pastor may also ignore these:

 

Rev 3:11

Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.

 

Rev 22:6

And he said unto me, These sayings are faithful and true: and the Lord God of the holy prophets sent his angel to shew unto his servants the things which must shortly be done.

 

Rev 22:7

Behold, I come quickly: blessed is he that keepeth the sayings of the prophecy of this book.

 

Rev 22:10

And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.

 

Rev 22:12

And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.

 

Rev 22:20

He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

 

"Quickly" is not 1,900+ years after the promise is made.

No amount of hype, spin, rationalizing, or wishful thinking can make these verses say anything other than what they clearly state. Jesus was to come back soon but never did.

 

Also add this to the list of failures in prophecy:

 

1 Peter 4:7

But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.

 

Ask the pastor to explain why none of these clearly stated end of the world / return of Jesus verses came true.

Be prepared to witness a tap dance with massive gyrations and excuse making, and then ask yourself why you should fear any doctrine that requires so much dishonesty.

[AlphaToOmega]

I took those end of days things seriously so figured I'd do what any young healthy male would do if faced with oblivion...SHAG SENSELESSLY!

After a while my dick got sore so I figured these prophesies are a load of bull but are useful in getting laid.

Figured some horny guy started them to get into a chicks pants.

Now I just ignore them.

[Falloutdude]

WOW! I am very impressed by you tonight! Very touched! You who suffer so much from fear and anxiety related to the same sort of hang ups that freaks Rock out can of course understand him better than anyone.

And is probably better equipped to help him than anybody here and this is also what you seek to do. I think this is a very important part of the solution for you. Rising above your fears by reaching out to help someone you see in even more pain and confusion than yourself. RESPECT!

 

I noticed this too Kattis! Dude 'kicks' right in there when someone needs help!! And good he is - cause he understands the pain!

 

Metal for the 'dude'

 

It took me a few seconds to realize what that was an emoticon of...ha ha thanks though. I'm just really crazy myself so...yeah ha ha

[chosendarkness]

I took those end of days things seriously so figured I'd do what any young healthy male would do if faced with oblivion...SHAG SENSELESSLY!

After a while my dick got sore so I figured these prophesies are a load of bull but are useful in getting laid.

Figured some horny guy started them to get into a chicks pants.

Now I just ignore them.

How did you use prophesies to get laid? Are there really Christian women who'll agree to screw because Jesus is about to come back? Doesn't make sense to me.

[Kaiser01]

i recently talked to a fundy and he told me his preacher was going to do a message that sunday called "why we are still here".

 

think really carfully about this above. you should know the "rapture bullshit" has no set date and this is very convinent for them becuase they can belive it is allways gonna happen but never does. but 2000 years have passed for them and no jesus. that senstence above is a testemant to their growing desperation. their tired of waiting for the day they become gods and so their trying to justify the wait to themselves becuase their getting scared. the religion is dying and becuase it is the idea of "the end times" will get more and more rampant in their desperation but its all bullshit.

 

ideas like the rapture didnt even exist until the 19th centuray made by a preacher man in england.

 

i sugest reading the big forum topic in the general theological problems area on this subject.

[chosendarkness]

Why?

 

I tend to ask myself this simple question so many times a day. Why did I crawl back to religion? Why am I so afraid of the Biblical end times? Why do I believe what I believe? Why am I doubting myself? Why do I have so much anxiety? Why do I have panic attacks? Why won't God fix them?

 

It takes time to get your mind back from fundamentalist religion. We were heavily indoctrinated by countless sermons and everything else, so it takes time. It's a great thing to have a forum like this to help, I say keep sharing your thoughts and feelings here, and if anyone ridicules you just ignore them. The majority aren't like that. Someone who has their act together so much that they can look down at others struggling doesn't need this forum in the first place.

[AlphaToOmega]

I took those end of days things seriously so figured I'd do what any young healthy male would do if faced with oblivion...SHAG SENSELESSLY!

After a while my dick got sore so I figured these prophesies are a load of bull but are useful in getting laid.

Figured some horny guy started them to get into a chicks pants.

Now I just ignore them.

How did you use prophesies to get laid? Are there really Christian women who'll agree to screw because Jesus is about to come back? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

You're not Australian.

You meet a chick and you say, "hey, did you hear that the world might end tomorrow?"

"Really?"

"yeah, so I reckon its party time!"

"alright"!"

 

Pretty easy really.