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Goodbye Jesus

Things Fundies Say On Facebook


Brother Jeff

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I usually don't come down too hard on my Christian friends over on Facebook, but some days the ignorant, arrogant bullshit they post just has to be addressed. This is from a thread my friend posted about how she's offended because Dr. Pepper is choosing to use the pre-1954 Pledge of Allegiance which does not contain the words "under God" in some new design for its cans. The conversation quickly went from Dr. Pepper to why America has so many major problems as a nation.

 

Here's what Sister Vicki had to say:

 

That is why American is in the condition it is in - we have forgotten God.

 

And my response: "I see. I'm sure that's right. Our nation's problems have nothing to do with our corrupt and broken political and educational systems or our troubled economy or any number of other serious issues that need to be addressed. We've just forgotten god. Poor guy. I guess if we just remember him, then everything will suddenly magically be okay. :rolleyes:

 

And then Sister Shelly posted this gem:

 

There wouldn't be corruption and broken political and educational systems or the rest of the problems if those that are in power followed God's rules - and for that matter those of us that put these people in their positions of power.

 

My only response was just to publicly roll my eyes at her.

 

Is it any wonder America has problems when people this ignorant and this delusional are allowed to vote?

 

I could probably make a hilarious blog out of stuff like this which wouldn't be hard to collect in large amounts from Facebook, but it's also shocking (and truly frightening) that people who claim to be intelligent actually think this way. :twitch::eek:

 

Glory!

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People look at complex problems and long for simple solutions, Bro Jeff. It's wishful thinking and despair as much as stupidity, thinks Ro-bear.

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Posted today:

 

"God has no cell phone, but He is my favorite contact... He has no Facebook, but He is my Best Friend...He doesn't have Twitter, but still I follow Him...He has no Internet, but we stay connected! ! If God has been amazing in your life post this on your wall. I am not ashamed."

 

It ironic, as the woman who posted this has been in the shit for several years with an invalid husband, serious personal medical issues, major problems with extended family, etc. She's also always been a bitch and verbally (at least0 abusive to hubby even before he got so ill. But, PRAISE DE LAWD!!!!!!

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One that got me the other day was a lady posted that they were so blessed that when lightning hit their house, only electronics had been ruined, etc. If they were blessed, wouldn't the lightning hit the house down the street?

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This is in one of my friends' profiles:

ask me about God :]

 

I'm really tempted to....

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This is in one of my friends' profiles:

ask me about God :]

 

I'm really tempted to....

 

 

Oh man I would be too! THAT could be very entertaining! If you do it PLEASE post the results so I can live vicariously through you. please. gigglesnort

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My mom's having car trouble, and in the middle of a discussion about what's going on and how the mechanic apparently released the vehicle with the check engine light still on and sometimes flashing, she says this:

 

I've been told he is a believer, so I'm hoping the conversation will go well...and it will be via phone, since I have to work...

 

As if being a "believer" had anything to do with being an honest mechanic. :Doh:

 

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Posted today:

 

"God has no cell phone, but He is my favorite contact... He has no Facebook, but He is my Best Friend...He doesn't have Twitter, but still I follow Him...He has no Internet, but we stay connected! ! If God has been amazing in your life post this on your wall. I am not ashamed."

 

It ironic, as the woman who posted this has been in the shit for several years with an invalid husband, serious personal medical issues, major problems with extended family, etc. She's also always been a bitch and verbally (at least0 abusive to hubby even before he got so ill. But, PRAISE DE LAWD!!!!!!

 

 

I saw this one the other day as well. I hate chain mail and have always hated it, even in this new modern form. It tempts me to post something like "if you hate chain mail then do absolutely nothing with your profile."

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This is in one of my friends' profiles:

ask me about God :]

 

I'm really tempted to....

Ask the question, 'does god pee standing up or sitting down?'

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After about the third or fourth 'I believe in Jesus' post i hit the spam button.

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Here's what Sister Vicki had to say:

 

That is why American is in the condition it is in - we have forgotten God.

 

 

People like that are too U.S. and Christian-centric to consider the other countries that are doing well and not predominately christian. I usually call them on it by listing the pervasiveness of christianity in the U.S........ christian churches everywhere, christian bookstores, televangelists 24/7, christian tv programming, christian networks, christian radio shows and music, god on our money, bibles in every hotel room, prayer before public events, christian hosptials, etc., etc..

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I almost got in a really bad car accident the other day and one of my fundie friends on FB was sure that god prevented it to "give me another chance". :rolleyes:

 

I'm very glad the accident was avoided when the maniac who almost rear-ended me slammed on his brakes and escaped into the right lane, but I don't think an Invisible Magic Sky Man had anything to do with it.

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Posted today:

 

"God has no cell phone, but He is my favorite contact... He has no Facebook, but He is my Best Friend...He doesn't have Twitter, but still I follow Him...He has no Internet, but we stay connected! ! If God has been amazing in your life post this on your wall. I am not ashamed."

 

It ironic, as the woman who posted this has been in the shit for several years with an invalid husband, serious personal medical issues, major problems with extended family, etc. She's also always been a bitch and verbally (at least0 abusive to hubby even before he got so ill. But, PRAISE DE LAWD!!!!!!

 

 

If you feel the need to say "I am not ashamed" of your faith you probably are ashamed or sense that you should be.

Agreed. I think many fundies know their religion is bullshit, but they are too afraid to admit it even to themselves.

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This is what one of my friends says on Facebook. Great guy so I don't respond back with the norm, but it still makes me shake my head.

Do you think You Are Too Messed Up For God?

Think Again!

- Jacob was a cheater

- Peter had a temper

- David had an affair

...- Noah got drunk

- Jonah ran away from God

- Paul was a murderer

- Gideon was insecure

- Miriam was a gossiper

- Mary was a worrier

- Thomas was a doubter

- Sara was impatient

- Elijah was moody

- Moses stuttered

- Zaccheus was short

- Abraham was old

- Lazarus was dead

SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE? DON'T YOU THINK GOD CAN USE YOU TOO?!!

A good signpost doesn't say, "look at me, what a great sign I am, aren't I so clear, bold and striking!" No, a good signpost doesn't distract or call for attention to itself, but points you to something greater. Humble leaders point people to Jesus.
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My Fundy Facebookers get very preachy...this just seen:

To truly understand the unconditional love of Jesus, you must die an unbelievable painful death! A death to yourself about everything you think your entitled to feel, think or believe you have a right to.

Sounds like a very attractive way to live, eh? Embrace the pain of being an idiot for Jesus!!! Intellect is from the devil!!! Preach it, preach-ah.

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There wouldn't be corruption and broken political and educational systems or the rest of the problems if those that are in power followed God's rules - and for that matter those of us that put these people in their positions of power.

 

My only response was just to publicly roll my eyes at her.

 

Is it any wonder America has problems when people this ignorant and this delusional are allowed to vote?

 

I could probably make a hilarious blog out of stuff like this which wouldn't be hard to collect in large amounts from Facebook, but it's also shocking (and truly frightening) that people who claim to be intelligent actually think this way. :twitch::eek:

 

Glory!

 

God's Rules didn't work for the Biblical Times they sure as hell won't work now. :lmao:

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Pride manifests itself in many ways. Tonight I am looking around at a messy house, and I am hoping that God delays calling me home at least until the house is clean and organized again. Because if He doesn't, family and friends will come help sort through my things, and they'll see the mess! As if I'd really be in a position to care, if indeed that happened

 

 

It then gets 14 comments from women basically praising how being a 50's housewife is the best thing ever.

 

 

 

 

I have to wonder what I really want in my obituary. "She leaves behind a husband and two daughters, and an impressively clean house..."

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you just can't help people.

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Today's offering, and from a young family member, I'm ashamed to say.

 

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it."

 

Puke.

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If you feel the need to say "I am not ashamed" of your faith you probably are ashamed or sense that you should be.

In my church days, whenever someone was flogging the need to witness or be otherwise impertinent, they would counter their listener's natural sense of shame with the NT verse that says that the preaching of the gospel is foolishness to those who perish -- ergo, they will consider those who preach fools -- and you should be proud to be a "fool for Christ".

 

I never understood this, because if someone can't hear what you say because it is so much gibberish to their unenlightened "ears that can't hear" and so much nothing to their "eyes that cannot see", then what is the point of being in their face and babbling at them? You only compound their deafness / blindness by annoying them. Clearly what they need is for god to open their eyes and ears -- it always seemed like HIS problem to me.

 

I've never been much into exercises in futility, and proselytizing seemed to me like the very definition of an exercise in futility.

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I noticed this on YouTube comments for the latest Mr. Deity video:

 

"TheStigmadeign

@hznfrst If you're referring to Christianity in the US, then you're dumber than I thought. This country was founded on Christian beliefs. The whole concept of our freedom has Christianity to thank. Just because you don't understand it or are too apathetic, doesn't give you or anyone the right to diminish our culture. If you don't like it then get the fuck out. Idiot. e.e"

 

 

 

Saying Americans should give thanks to Christianity for the value system we have is like saying the Jews should thank Hitler for giving them a strong will.

 

 

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This just made me face-palm:

 

Under 'Religious Views' on Facebook this person put 'Christ Follower', with the following description:

Who said anything about "Religion"? My best friend died for me and loves me unconditionally.

 

 

Now that just sad... and rather creepy. I had an imaginary friend too.. but then I turned five years old. >.<

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This just made me face-palm:

 

Under 'Religious Views' on Facebook this person put 'Christ Follower', with the following description:

Who said anything about "Religion"? My best friend died for me and loves me unconditionally.

 

 

Now that just sad... and rather creepy. I had an imaginary friend too.. but then I turned five years old. >.<

 

:twitch: Must be sad when your best friend refuses to see you, speak to you, or acknowledge you in any way other than 'a gut feeling'.

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REcently my sister has been quoting things that I can only assume are badly written christian songs. It bugs me that of all my fb friends who are christians the only one who posts this stuff is my sister huh.gif

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This just made me face-palm:

 

Under 'Religious Views' on Facebook this person put 'Christ Follower', with the following description:

Who said anything about "Religion"? My best friend died for me and loves me unconditionally.

 

 

Now that just sad... and rather creepy. I had an imaginary friend too.. but then I turned five years old. >.<

 

:twitch: Must be sad when your best friend refuses to see you, speak to you, or acknowledge you in any way other than 'a gut feeling'.

 

Sadder still when you are brainwashed by the people you trust into believing that he DOES see, speak, acknowledge, and love you more than anyone else!

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