Things Fundies Say On Facebook

[Blake]

"The Bible is supposed to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions."

 

"DO YOU BELIEVE GOD'S WILL IS BEST? TYPE 'AMEN.'"

 

"Friends don't let friends die without hearing about Jesus Christ." 

 

My aunt posts this shit constantly...

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

"The Bible is supposed to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions."

 

"DO YOU BELIEVE GOD'S WILL IS BEST? TYPE 'AMEN.'"

 

"Friends don't let friends die without hearing about Jesus Christ." 

 

My aunt posts this shit constantly...

 

Ah haha, those quotes are funny. It makes me want to tell your aunt that the Bible is really only good for cake on special occasions, but it's the crappiest cake ever.

[LunarBlack]

first post (YAH!)

 

was posted yesterday on a page that I barely follow these days..

I’d really like to share some of my thoughts on this topic I believe that the current epidemic of pornographic addiction is due to both men and women. Yes, I believe that men are at fault, and I also believe that women are very much to blame. I honestly feel that we have adopted the mindset of independence, that whole “we don’t need men to make us happy” thing. I feel that my gender has become headstrong, focusing more on our own rights than on being submissive to men as God intended. When I say submissive, I believe the submission needs to be healthy—the woman needs to be submissive and recognize the man as the head, and the man needs to love his woman as Christ loved the church. I hear of so many marriages that have been hurt because there’s a lack of communication as well as a lack of understanding and recognition of the other’s needs. I really appreciate you addressing this, Pastor Bob! Again, I would like to express my belief that women are quite responsible as well, and it is my prayer that my gender would recognize that the current feminist mindset of the female gender in society is not Biblical and has no place in our walk with Christ and our marriages/relationships. Okay, I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts!”

 

as much as I wanted to respond, I haven't.. well yet anyways.

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

first post (YAH!)

 

was posted yesterday on a page that I barely follow these days..

I’d really like to share some of my thoughts on this topic I believe that the current epidemic of pornographic addiction is due to both men and women. Yes, I believe that men are at fault, and I also believe that women are very much to blame. I honestly feel that we have adopted the mindset of independence, that whole “we don’t need men to make us happy” thing. I feel that my gender has become headstrong, focusing more on our own rights than on being submissive to men as God intended. When I say submissive, I believe the submission needs to be healthy—the woman needs to be submissive and recognize the man as the head, and the man needs to love his woman as Christ loved the church. I hear of so many marriages that have been hurt because there’s a lack of communication as well as a lack of understanding and recognition of the other’s needs. I really appreciate you addressing this, Pastor Bob! Again, I would like to express my belief that women are quite responsible as well, and it is my prayer that my gender would recognize that the current feminist mindset of the female gender in society is not Biblical and has no place in our walk with Christ and our marriages/relationships. Okay, I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts!”

 

as much as I wanted to respond, I haven't.. well yet anyways.

 

If you do respond, I'm willing to bet that it will be a good response, though the delusional-sounding statements this person made lead me to believe that nothing you say will do any good for that person, though it might for anyone who reads your response. If and when you respond to this, I would like to see how you respond, if you are willing to share it. Welcome to ex-C by the way.

[ExCBooster]

Welcome, LunarBlack (Lenore avatar! Whoo hoo!)

 

Talk about a thorough brainwashing. I think that post had more to do with her own hang-ups than anything. "Porn epidemic"? In what way, in which culture, and in what time? And, how, exactly, is being a doormat at home supposed to fix this? ... wait... be a good enough little submissive at home, and your dominant won't stray. It's supposed to work exactly like a parody of BDSM. Except, you know, without the "safe, sane and consensual" part.

[LunarBlack]

Thanks for the welcome.

 

Part of me gets that a response will be in vain. No one else seems to think what she said was dumb. This was in response to a video Pastor Bob beeman did on porn addictions. Apparently he had recieved a number of emails from christian men on their porn addictions. It boggles me to see a female say that the reason men are addicted to porn is because we aren't submissive enough and are independently minded...wow..simply wow.

[Lilith666]

Thanks for the welcome.

 

Part of me gets that a response will be in vain.

No one else seems to think what she said was

dumb. This was in response to a video Pastor

Bob beeman did on porn addictions. Apparently

he had recieved a number of emails from

christian men on their porn addictions. It boggles

me to see a female say that the reason men are

addicted to porn is because we aren't

submissive enough and are independently

minded...wow..simply wow.

I cannot believe an Xian woman is excusing men's infidelity. The traitor. So men go looking for models of what women should be--physically perfect, dopey bunnies?

What would she say if you asked her why some women are addicted to porn.

[RintrahRoars]

an interesting, mostly civil conversation i had yesterday

 

 

Another thing you could have pointed out is how Jesus said that if you commit a sin in your head it's the same as actually doing it.

[Autumn2909]

(I hope I uploaded this picture okay)

 

Even when I WAS a christian, stuff like this still made me slightly nauseated. Now, major *hurl*

[Blake]

I absolutely hate those images.

 

or "Like/Comment if u luv Jesus, SCROLL if u luv SATAN."

 

Your faith is indeed solid good sir -- we all saw it on Facebook!

 

Observed today:

 

 

 

**A MUST READ***
A man of 32 years, was smoking, while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.
The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said: 'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.....
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full '
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist & entertainer) said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus died and rise again, and he is still alive....
'Jesus'
I have done my part by sharing this with you, Jesus said 'If you are embarrassed about me,
I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'
You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this.. No way!
I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T..D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.'
Pass this message round by a simple like and type "Amen"
You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore.

[Jose]

Love Jesus or he'll fucking kill you.

 

Is that what everyone else got out of that?

[Blake]

That's exactly what I got out of it.

[SquareOne]

Love Jesus or he'll fucking kill you.

 

Is that what everyone else got out of that?

 

Yep!

 

Which is pretty much right on the money for a Biblical approach to Jesus.

[Pantophobia]

That, plus, "Name Your Favorite Logical Fallacy!"

[ConureDelSol]

More from the fundy friend from high school:

 

 

 

 In the past 12 days, I wrote a total of 135 pages in research papers, lesson plans, and book reviews. That's 11.25 pages of writing a day. From the bottom of my heart, a dearest thank you to Jesus, my friends, free chocolate, and Taylor Swift for getting me through this week. Love to you all ♥

 

 

 

 OH MY GOODNESS. God just gave me an incredible testimony!

Last August, I was laying on my bed in my un-air conditioned room as thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, "Expect financial blessings to come your way!" At the time when God said that, I was unemployed and relying on my parents to pay all my food & rental costs. Regardless, I decided to take God for His word and thank him in advance for the provision He just promised me. 

Today, I was at a financial literacy conference at my friend's church. At the end of the afternoon session, they invited anyone who had tremendous amounts of debt (such as heavy student loans) to come up for prayer. Definitely qualifying for that, I walked up.

After the congregation prayed, random strangers started coming up to me and handing me 50 dollar bills and checks for $100! I literally had a line of people-- who I'd never met before-- in front of me for about 15 minutes, full of people waiting to give me money! 

I walked into church this afternoon with $3 in my wallet, and left with $515! 

God is so insane and wonderful! I just don't know what to say!

[SquareOne]

 

More from the fundy friend from high school:

 

 

 

 In the past 12 days, I wrote a total of 135 pages in research papers, lesson plans, and book reviews. That's 11.25 pages of writing a day. From the bottom of my heart, a dearest thank you to Jesus, my friends, free chocolate, and Taylor Swift for getting me through this week. Love to you all ♥

 

 

 

 OH MY GOODNESS. God just gave me an incredible testimony!

Last August, I was laying on my bed in my un-air conditioned room as thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, "Expect financial blessings to come your way!" At the time when God said that, I was unemployed and relying on my parents to pay all my food & rental costs. Regardless, I decided to take God for His word and thank him in advance for the provision He just promised me. 

 

Today, I was at a financial literacy conference at my friend's church. At the end of the afternoon session, they invited anyone who had tremendous amounts of debt (such as heavy student loans) to come up for prayer. Definitely qualifying for that, I walked up.

 

After the congregation prayed, random strangers started coming up to me and handing me 50 dollar bills and checks for $100! I literally had a line of people-- who I'd never met before-- in front of me for about 15 minutes, full of people waiting to give me money! 

 

I walked into church this afternoon with $3 in my wallet, and left with $515! 

 

God is so insane and wonderful! I just don't know what to say!

 

 

Fuck me - where's this church!?  I'm going!

[owen652]

 

 

More from the fundy friend from high school:

 

 

 

 In the past 12 days, I wrote a total of 135 pages in research papers, lesson plans, and book reviews. That's 11.25 pages of writing a day. From the bottom of my heart, a dearest thank you to Jesus, my friends, free chocolate, and Taylor Swift for getting me through this week. Love to you all ♥

 

 

 

 OH MY GOODNESS. God just gave me an incredible testimony!

Last August, I was laying on my bed in my un-air conditioned room as thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, "Expect financial blessings to come your way!" At the time when God said that, I was unemployed and relying on my parents to pay all my food & rental costs. Regardless, I decided to take God for His word and thank him in advance for the provision He just promised me. 

 

Today, I was at a financial literacy conference at my friend's church. At the end of the afternoon session, they invited anyone who had tremendous amounts of debt (such as heavy student loans) to come up for prayer. Definitely qualifying for that, I walked up.

 

After the congregation prayed, random strangers started coming up to me and handing me 50 dollar bills and checks for $100! I literally had a line of people-- who I'd never met before-- in front of me for about 15 minutes, full of people waiting to give me money! 

 

I walked into church this afternoon with $3 in my wallet, and left with $515! 

 

God is so insane and wonderful! I just don't know what to say!

 

 

Fuck me - where's this church!?  I'm going!

 

I'd say they all just came across the verse that says they will go to hell if they're rich

[SquareOne]

 

 

 

More from the fundy friend from high school:

 

 

 

 In the past 12 days, I wrote a total of 135 pages in research papers, lesson plans, and book reviews. That's 11.25 pages of writing a day. From the bottom of my heart, a dearest thank you to Jesus, my friends, free chocolate, and Taylor Swift for getting me through this week. Love to you all ♥

 

 

 

 OH MY GOODNESS. God just gave me an incredible testimony!

Last August, I was laying on my bed in my un-air conditioned room as thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, "Expect financial blessings to come your way!" At the time when God said that, I was unemployed and relying on my parents to pay all my food & rental costs. Regardless, I decided to take God for His word and thank him in advance for the provision He just promised me. 

 

Today, I was at a financial literacy conference at my friend's church. At the end of the afternoon session, they invited anyone who had tremendous amounts of debt (such as heavy student loans) to come up for prayer. Definitely qualifying for that, I walked up.

 

After the congregation prayed, random strangers started coming up to me and handing me 50 dollar bills and checks for $100! I literally had a line of people-- who I'd never met before-- in front of me for about 15 minutes, full of people waiting to give me money! 

 

I walked into church this afternoon with $3 in my wallet, and left with $515! 

 

God is so insane and wonderful! I just don't know what to say!

 

 

Fuck me - where's this church!?  I'm going!

 

I'd say they all just came across the verse that says they will go to hell if they're rich

 

 

HA!

 

Christians obeying Jesus?

 

Good one.

[Cousin Ricky]

an interesting, mostly civil conversation i had yesterday

 

 

I, too, have no problem likening myself to swine when the context warrants.

[expat674]

Yesterday I signed my divorce papers, which under the law in England and Wales means that will be finally free of my fundamentalist wife in about  six weeks. I posted on Facebook "there is a light that never goes out," as this Smiths song was played on the radio.

 

This is what one of my xtian friends posted;  

 

"Jesus is the light of the world and is alive for evermore hallelujah."

 

I am getting a bit fed up with all the blah-blah-blah about this "outpouring in Cwmbran"

[LunarBlack]

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/gave_up_modeling_for_god_IDcrhkzPzHgtLCcQmkgHxK/3

 

this was liked by a FB friend.. I had no clue was even religious in any way..

" “I quit being a VS model to be a Proverbs 31 wife.”

*eye roll*

 here is the comment

"nothing wrong with modeling... just good to see people working through decisions and making ultimately decisions to love Christ and their families." (vomit)

 

I'm willing to bet that she wouldn't give up all that "sinful" money she got from modeling

[SquareOne]

 

I am getting a bit fed up with all the blah-blah-blah about this "outpouring in Cwmbran"

 

I had not heard of this outpouring, but had to have a look.  I read this article about it:

 

http://surehopechurch.co.uk/?p=5723#comment-1035

 

Then I posted a comment at the bottom (Joel).  I can't believe the moderator didn't catch that I was joking.  Ha!  This does tickle me.

[midniterider]

 

More from the fundy friend from high school:

 

 

 

 In the past 12 days, I wrote a total of 135 pages in research papers, lesson plans, and book reviews. That's 11.25 pages of writing a day. From the bottom of my heart, a dearest thank you to Jesus, my friends, free chocolate, and Taylor Swift for getting me through this week. Love to you all ♥

 

 

 

 OH MY GOODNESS. God just gave me an incredible testimony!

Last August, I was laying on my bed in my un-air conditioned room as thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, "Expect financial blessings to come your way!" At the time when God said that, I was unemployed and relying on my parents to pay all my food & rental costs. Regardless, I decided to take God for His word and thank him in advance for the provision He just promised me. 

 

Today, I was at a financial literacy conference at my friend's church. At the end of the afternoon session, they invited anyone who had tremendous amounts of debt (such as heavy student loans) to come up for prayer. Definitely qualifying for that, I walked up.

 

After the congregation prayed, random strangers started coming up to me and handing me 50 dollar bills and checks for $100! I literally had a line of people-- who I'd never met before-- in front of me for about 15 minutes, full of people waiting to give me money! 

 

I walked into church this afternoon with $3 in my wallet, and left with $515! 

 

God is so insane and wonderful! I just don't know what to say!

 

 

$515 aint shit. :-)

 

Especially after the 10% tithe. They did tithe, right?  :-) Or did they take their friends out and party!  haha

[Thought2Much]

Yesterday I signed my divorce papers, which under the law in England and Wales means that will be finally free of my fundamentalist wife in about  six weeks. I posted on Facebook "there is a light that never goes out," as this Smiths song was played on the radio.

 

This is what one of my xtian friends posted;  

 

"Jesus is the light of the world and is alive for evermore hallelujah."

 

I am getting a bit fed up with all the blah-blah-blah about this "outpouring in Cwmbran"

 

You're probably as fed up hearing about that as I was after hearing about that stupid "Pensacola (Brownsville) Revival" for more than five years. And then the "Toronto Airport Blessing" nonsense. I have no clue where their supposedly omnipresent deity has decided to manifest his spirit lately.

[Thought2Much]

"Sometimes your only transportation is a leap of faith." — Margaret Shepard

 

What the fuck does this even mean?