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Things Fundies Say On Facebook


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Reminds  me of Tracy Harris' quote 

 

 

“You either have a God who sends child rapists to rape children or you have a God who simply watches it and says, ‘When you’re done, I’m going to punish you,’” Harris agreed. “If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would. That’s the difference between me and your God.”

 

 

Oh Tracy, let me count the ways.  :)  She's so cool.

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http://alincolnism.com/ oh, theres a website too

 

So are there people who want me to believe in Lincoln so much that they build churches on every street corner, go door to door spreading the Lincoln gospel and tell me that I will burn in hell if I don't believe in Lincoln? No, I guess not. There really aren't any zealous believers in Lincoln. People who believe Lincoln existed don't really give a shit if you believe in Lincoln or not. They aren't fanatics. Christian evangelicals, now those are fanatics. :-)

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Reminds  me of Tracy Harris' quote 

 

 

“You either have a God who sends child rapists to rape children or you have a God who simply watches it and says, ‘When you’re done, I’m going to punish you,’” Harris agreed. “If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would. That’s the difference between me and your God.”

 

 

Oh Tracy, let me count the ways.  smile.png  She's so cool.

 

Man, that is a great quote.

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http://alincolnism.com/ oh, theres a website too

 

So are there people who want me to believe in Lincoln so much that they build churches on every street corner, go door to door spreading the Lincoln gospel and tell me that I will burn in hell if I don't believe in Lincoln? No, I guess not. There really aren't any zealous believers in Lincoln. People who believe Lincoln existed don't really give a shit if you believe in Lincoln or not. They aren't fanatics. Christian evangelicals, now those are fanatics. :-)

 

 

It isn't about people wanting to believe in Lincoln. It's some religitards who think they're being clever. They're making fun of atheists who point out the lack of evidence for a historic Jesus Christ. They're claiming no one can prove that Lincoln existed, either. rolleyes.gif I've seen the fundigelicals use this same BS with respect to other historical figures, such as George Washington and Alexander the Great.

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Lol today on FB I saw this gem,

 

"Does the enemy try to convince you that you aren't a Christian? Why didn't he say anything when you weren't a Christian."

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One of my young Youth Group friends who was also a girlfriend for a time just posted, "God works in mysterious ways" and immediately got two likes.

 

I couldn't contain myself.... And said, "Or he doesn't work at all.  In the case of the 7 children he allowed to drown in the basement of a school during the Moore tornadoes as they were seeking shelter from the same storm he also allowed to devastate an entire city.  That's not mysterious, that's just lazy.

 

If he wanted them to go to Heaven, he would have used some magic god powers and just raptured them into the sky before allowing the tornado to destroy everything else. God must either not care or is not real.

 

Reminds  me of Tracy Harris' quote 

 

“You either have a God who sends child rapists to rape children or you have a God who simply watches it and says, ‘When you’re done, I’m going to punish you,’” Harris agreed. “If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would. That’s the difference between me and your God.”

 

Tracie Harris is brilliant. Here's part of the clip where that quote came from:

 

 

She, Jen Peebles (who you probably know if you watch Atheist Experience) and Beth Presswood (who is married to Matt Dillahunty) do a podcast called Godless Bitches that releases episodes fairly regularly. The topics are usually atheism, feminism, and abortion. It sounds like something that a male might not want to get into, but I've listened to at least five episodes and they were all brilliant stuff. If you're a fan of Tracie, I recommend it. http://godlessbitches.podbean.com

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One of my young Youth Group friends who was also a girlfriend for a time just posted, "God works in mysterious ways" and immediately got two likes.

 

I couldn't contain myself.... And said, "Or he doesn't work at all.  In the case of the 7 children he allowed to drown in the basement of a school during the Moore tornadoes as they were seeking shelter from the same storm he also allowed to devastate an entire city.  That's not mysterious, that's just lazy.

 

If he wanted them to go to Heaven, he would have used some magic god powers and just raptured them into the sky before allowing the tornado to destroy everything else. God must either not care or is not real.

 

Reminds  me of Tracy Harris' quote 

 

“You either have a God who sends child rapists to rape children or you have a God who simply watches it and says, ‘When you’re done, I’m going to punish you,’” Harris agreed. “If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would. That’s the difference between me and your God.”

 

Tracie Harris is brilliant. Here's part of the clip where that quote came from:

 

 

She, Jen Peebles (who you probably know if you watch Atheist Experience) and Beth Presswood (who is married to Matt Dillahunty) do a podcast called Godless Bitches that releases episodes fairly regularly. The topics are usually atheism, feminism, and abortion. It sounds like something that a male might not want to get into, but I've listened to at least five episodes and they were all brilliant stuff. If you're a fan of Tracie, I recommend it. http://godlessbitches.podbean.com

 

 

"Good bye you piece of shit!" - Matt Dillahunty. That's an equally awesome quote.

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Matt Dillahunty:

 

"I was a better Christian than you when I was a Christian, and I still am."

 

Legend.

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Posted today:

 

"God has no cell phone, but He is my favorite contact... He has no Facebook, but He is my Best Friend...He doesn't have Twitter, but still I follow Him...He has no Internet, but we stay connected! ! If God has been amazing in your life post this on your wall. I am not ashamed."

 

It ironic, as the woman who posted this has been in the shit for several years with an invalid husband, serious personal medical issues, major problems with extended family, etc. She's also always been a bitch and verbally (at least0 abusive to hubby even before he got so ill. But, PRAISE DE LAWD!!!!!!

 

 

LAAAAAWD halleluuuja brotha!

 

No Lawd, I am nawt ashamed of goin full retard for Jesus! 

I say #YOLO in the name of christ I say sister, throw those angry birds and smash those piggies of sin!

 

Run to the temple of GAWD,  Cause my lord got #SWAG!

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I just randomly typed God swag into google. 

 

FIRST listing
 

  1. S.W.A.G. (Someone Who Admires God) | Facebook
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/SWAG...God/219485771450934‎
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    S.W.A.G. (Someone Who Admires God). 1323 likes · 7 talking about this.

     

     

     

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Someone on Facebook wrote "let's start a riot....... For Jesus."

 

I couldn't help but respond with "isn't that what happened in the 4th crusade?"

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Yesterday:  Pray for the 19 missing firefighters (in the big fire in AZ)

Today: Pray for the families and friends of the 19 dead firefighters.

 

WHY? So they'll die too !!!????

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Warning: reading this post may result in a severe case of what-the-fuck-did-i-just-read syndrome.

Okay, so backstory...this guy I know is a major, major fundy...he went to bible school, got some sort of online pastor certification, and is always trying to convert me, etc.  Recently he's become obsessed with a female Christian singer, and is convinced that god told him that in four years she's going to leave her husband and marry him instead. Apparently he thinks that posting THIS on her wall will convince her of that as well...

 

 

Your beautiful enough to last an eternity because your saved. Your comments are soulfully accurate and impressive. I appreciate your addiction to sociology. I love you. Your beautiful. I want to date you. I want to shake your right hand, and your left one. I want to keep you safe from sexual predators. I want to keep you safe from perverted perverts. I want to keep you safe from crazy fans. I want to keep you safe from your husband. I want to protect you from all forms of harm. Especially on your arm. Be my gold apprentice. I appreciate you and your work. I appreciate your honesty to the public. Your public appearance makes me blush with hollow aspirations. Your lovely countenances appear to me to be: A scepter = a symbolic ornamental rod/wand borne in the hand of a ruling monarch as an item of royal imperial insignia. I like you. I like your work. I think your music videos are great. I like your unique looks. I like your album covers, especially the first one, Say it. And I like how you help out little girls and little guys in their endeavors to become something greatness. I like you New Age chick. Sorry that I'm not up to date yet, maybe if I'm lucky, you'll help me out with that. hmm? sound like a good date plan idea? We'll book it. It will be in 2013. A couple months from now, when your ready to accept your predestined planly manly planned out planning plan, then we'll book it together in the park or something. My favorite walking/hiking/workouty park. We'll do it nicely in the lawn, you know, just walking hand in hand. Something casual like that. And will catch some coffee at Starbucks. Yeah, and Kathleen Stutts won't be there. I'm going to take you out to dinner someday too, and eat a good tasting tastey steak at Applebees. BJ quoteness- "Yeah I get it, they're nice, they flourinate the apple plants." They do actually flourinate the apple plants. "Gotcha gotcha." BN quoteness- "But/t I shouldn't do it. It sounds really sexual though."

 

Yeah, I really don't think the voice in his head is god...

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Yesterday:  Pray for the 19 missing firefighters (in the big fire in AZ)

Today: Pray for the families and friends of the 19 dead firefighters.

 

WHY? So they'll die too !!!????

 

Yeah, not sure what praying for the families is going to do. I saw the same thing on FB yesterday. I'd like to ask why we should pray for them.

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Yesterday:  Pray for the 19 missing firefighters (in the big fire in AZ)

Today: Pray for the families and friends of the 19 dead firefighters.

 

WHY? So they'll die too !!!????

 

Yeah, not sure what praying for the families is going to do. I saw the same thing on FB yesterday. I'd like to ask why we should pray for them.

 

 

It's so Jesus makes it so they don't feel bad about the loss of their loved ones for as long apparently.

 

It seems that Christians believe that Jesus is like Cobb from Inception, and that grieving family members need him to implant comforting feelings into them so they don't become depressed to the point of self destruction at the loss of friends and/or family members.

 

These prayers are mind waves that are projected towards the all powerful and all knowing Lord of the Universe as a request that he provide magical warm feelings that make those who have experienced loss feel better so that they get over the event faster and are thus able to resume normal emotional patterns.

 

He then decides whether or not these psychic requests thought beams are within his plan and does what he's already decided to do to begin with.

 

Thus, the prayers are answered and the Christians helped the surviving victims of whatever death had befallen their loved ones with their completely ignored mind requests to plead for the Master of the Universe to pretty please make those who have experienced loss to feel better, but only if he didn't already have other plans.

 

Seriously, I'm not kidding here. That's really the explanation for it.

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Your beautiful enough to last

 

Is is just me or do Christians seem to have the highest rate of saying "your" instead of "you're".  Especially the ones involved in music.

 

I hate bad grammar almost as much as I hate the Bible.

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Warning: reading this post may result in a severe case of what-the-fuck-did-i-just-read syndrome.

Okay, so backstory...this guy I know is a major, major fundy...he went to bible school, got some sort of online pastor certification, and is always trying to convert me, etc.  Recently he's become obsessed with a female Christian singer, and is convinced that god told him that in four years she's going to leave her husband and marry him instead. Apparently he thinks that posting THIS on her wall will convince her of that as well...

 

 

Your beautiful enough to last an eternity because your saved. Your comments are soulfully accurate and impressive. I appreciate your addiction to sociology. I love you. Your beautiful. I want to date you. I want to shake your right hand, and your left one. I want to keep you safe from sexual predators. I want to keep you safe from perverted perverts. I want to keep you safe from crazy fans. I want to keep you safe from your husband. I want to protect you from all forms of harm. Especially on your arm. Be my gold apprentice. I appreciate you and your work. I appreciate your honesty to the public. Your public appearance makes me blush with hollow aspirations. Your lovely countenances appear to me to be: A scepter = a symbolic ornamental rod/wand borne in the hand of a ruling monarch as an item of royal imperial insignia. I like you. I like your work. I think your music videos are great. I like your unique looks. I like your album covers, especially the first one, Say it. And I like how you help out little girls and little guys in their endeavors to become something greatness. I like you New Age chick. Sorry that I'm not up to date yet, maybe if I'm lucky, you'll help me out with that. hmm? sound like a good date plan idea? We'll book it. It will be in 2013. A couple months from now, when your ready to accept your predestined planly manly planned out planning plan, then we'll book it together in the park or something. My favorite walking/hiking/workouty park. We'll do it nicely in the lawn, you know, just walking hand in hand. Something casual like that. And will catch some coffee at Starbucks. Yeah, and Kathleen Stutts won't be there. I'm going to take you out to dinner someday too, and eat a good tasting tastey steak at Applebees. BJ quoteness- "Yeah I get it, they're nice, they flourinate the apple plants." They do actually flourinate the apple plants. "Gotcha gotcha." BN quoteness- "But/t I shouldn't do it. It sounds really sexual though."

 

Yeah, I really don't think the voice in his head is god...

 

I'm thinking she may report that post to the local police.  That sounds like creepy stalker material to me.

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"Yeah, and Kathleen Stutts won't be there."

 

I'd like to take a moment to congratulate whoever Kathleen Stutts is. She seems to be the only one safe in this situation.

 

Seriously disturbing.

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predestined planly manly planned out planning plan

 

 

Douchly douched out douchebag dude :-)

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predestined planly manly planned out planning plan

 

 

 

men-in-tights.jpg

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One of my friends posted this today (and I'm surprised because she cusses, drinks, and does plenty of other "un-Christian" stuff):

 

"Living life without God is like dribbling a football."

 

To which I promptly responded "I must be a very good football dribbler then."

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One of my friends posted this today (and I'm surprised because she cusses, drinks, and does plenty of other "un-Christian" stuff):

 

"Living life without God is like dribbling a football."

 

To which I promptly responded "I must be a very good football dribbler then."

 

Doesn't seem to have worked out for Tebow...

 

Broncos-Patriots-Tebow-fumble-950x542.jp

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One of my friends posted this today (and I'm surprised because she cusses, drinks, and does plenty of other "un-Christian" stuff):

 

"Living life without God is like dribbling a football."

 

Let me guess: she doesn’t know that footballs are dribbled routinely and with great skill, because in her country they’re called “soccer balls.”

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One of my friends posted this today (and I'm surprised because she cusses, drinks, and does plenty of other "un-Christian" stuff):

 

"Living life without God is like dribbling a football."

 

Let me guess: she doesn’t know that footballs are dribbled routinely and with great skill, because in her country they’re called “soccer balls.”

 

 

Took the words right out of my mouth!

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Likewise! So many of our British boys aspire to be the best at dribbling the ball through the oncoming attacks of the opposition ;)

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