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Brother Jeff

Things Fundies Say On Facebook

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my encounter with a fundy wanker today (ad hominim attack intended)

 

facebookwanker_zps40b4c610.jpg

 

Well done, Owen.  Good job there.  These people are so nasty aren't they?  And illogical.

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1456753_827479597298868_9279751260313978

 

If xians hope and believe more, and doubt less, guess where they're gonna stay.  Welcome to the laid back everything-happens-for-a-reason just think positive liberal version of xianity for the 21st century.  It still involves believing in sky fairies, so it's not for me anymore.

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jesusiloveyou.jpg

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Love this one, which is all mocking from the humorous "God" face-book page

 

"I should make a new planet with evolving dolphins, the monkeys didn't work out" -God

 

And this priceless reply:

 

"If we evolved from dolphins, why are there still dolphins?" - Fundamentalist Christian Mermaids

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How I would respond to that image...

 

Overly+attached+jesus_54b8da_4088382.png

 

b979655eb6bfd6b0037429a438f67894c589e3be

 

3qv362.jpg

 

accept-me.jpg

 

would-die-for-you-let-me-prove-it.jpg

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It's called Mombook.   "I'm a parent that's scared my kids will get involved in dangerous things so I'm reminding them about Jesus all the time."    

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Someone's FB response to a thread regarding veneration of cops:

 

"Individuals criticize the police and religious opinions, however, when they need help and they need to call the police they pray that they respond quickly."

 

The thread was mostly about talking nice about cops ... but they threw in religion as well. Why do we need the cops again? If Jesus could help us? It's obvious that Christians subconsciously know that Jesus is useless or unreliable.

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PORK IN SCHOOL CANTEENS

A REAL MAYOR WHO REFUSES TO REMOVE PORK FROM THE SCHOOL CANTEENS EXPLAINS WHY

Muslim parents demanded the abolition of pork in all the school canteens of Ath in Belgium.

Marc Duvivier the mayor of Ath, has refused, and the town clerk sent a note to all parents to explain why.

“Muslims must understand that they have to adapt to Belgium, its customs, its traditions, its way of life, because that's where they chose to immigrate.

They must understand that they have to integrate and learn to live in Belgium.

They must understand that it is for them to change their lifestyle, not the Belgians who so generously welcomed them.

They must understand that the Athois are neither racist nor xenophobic, they accepted many immigrants before Muslims (whereas the reverse is not true that Muslims do not accept non-Muslim foreigners on their soil).

That no more than other nations, the Belgians are not willing to give up their identity, their culture.

And if Belgium is a land of welcome, it's not Marc Duvivier that welcomes foreigners, but the Belgian people as a whole.

Finally, they must understand that in Belgium with its Judeo-Christian roots, Christmas trees, churches and religious festivals, religion must remain in the private domain. The municipality of Ath was right to refuse any concessions to Islam and Sharia.

For Muslims that disagree with secularism and do not feel comfortable in Belgium, there are 57 beautiful Muslim countries in the world, most of them under-populated and ready to receive them with open halal arms in accordance with Shariah.

If you left your country for Belgium, and not for other Muslim countries, it is because you have considered that life is better in Belgium than elsewhere.

Ask yourself the question, just once, “Why is it better here in Belgium than where you come from?”

A canteen with pork is part of the answer

 

Xians try to claim secularism is their motivation for not "making concessions to Islam" while promoting xianity by saying Belgium has Judeo-Xian roots, churches and religious festivals.

 

Secularism.  I do not think it means what they think it means.

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My jailhouse converted thieving meth' head cousin posted:

 

"I'm sick of how people have turned Jesus' birthday into a commercial holiday!!! From now on I am not putting up a tree!! Instead I will put up a cross in my living room and under it will go the presents!!! Each child gets only 1 present!!!

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My jailhouse converted thieving meth' head cousin posted:

 

"I'm sick of how people have turned Jesus' birthday into a commercial holiday!!! From now on I am not putting up a tree!! Instead I will put up a cross in my living room and under it will go the presents!!! Each child gets only 1 present!!!

 

I love that, hilarious.

 

Although the 1 present per child part is sad.  It's possible to not buy into the commercialism of xmas and still make it fun and special for kids.  He/she sounds mean.

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535672_10150739155809533_1269444783_n.jp

 

This just appeared in my newsfeed with calls to 'stand together' and repost. I'm surprised at how few wounds Jesus appears to be sporting. 

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My jailhouse converted thieving meth' head cousin posted:

 

"I'm sick of how people have turned Jesus' birthday into a commercial holiday!!! From now on I am not putting up a tree!! Instead I will put up a cross in my living room and under it will go the presents!!! Each child gets only 1 present!!!

thot he would buy them giant crosses and let them carry

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Guest Furball

"Live for me, i died for you?"    Sounds pretty f*cking arrogant. And a bit demanding-veruca salt from willy wonka anyone? 

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"Live for me, i died for you?"    Sounds pretty f*cking arrogant. And a bit demanding-veruca salt from willy wonka anyone? 

 

Be fair.

 

Veruca only wanted a squirrel.

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535672_10150739155809533_1269444783_n.jp

 

This just appeared in my newsfeed with calls to 'stand together' and repost. I'm surprised at how few wounds Jesus appears to be sporting. 

I lived for you for over 30 years, jesus; you were only dead for 3 days. .  We're even.  Get over it.

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Something is WRONG if our lives make sense to unbelievers.

 

 

This is not on Facebook but a video I found here http://www.christianpost.com/news/televangelist-juanita-bynum-raises-brows-with-tongues-prayer-on-facebook-54779/ at Minute 2:44.

 

Scroll down to So, you are a Christian? This message is for you!

 

You have to listen to nearly three minutes of statements by missionary students to get to this one. 

 

In response to the quote: Seems pretty hopeless to me if that is the attitude of Christians. 

 

Out of about a dozen or so students, one seems to actually have a brain and I'd like to talk to him. Possibly we could get somewhere, though it's hard to say with these one-liners cut out of sermonettes. 

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"Live for me, i died for you?"    Sounds pretty f*cking arrogant. And a bit demanding-veruca salt from willy wonka anyone? 

 

Doesn't sound like the "I died for you" part was very successful. In my experience, the dead are silent as the grave. Even their wills can be over-ridden if proper procedures are followed.

 

This guy sounds very much alive--and thus can't claim "I died for you, live for me!"

 

 

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Guest Furball

 

"Live for me, i died for you?"    Sounds pretty f*cking arrogant. And a bit demanding-veruca salt from willy wonka anyone? 

 

Be fair.

 

Veruca only wanted a squirrel.

 

I stand corrected and am humbled by your genius sir. -good day to you 

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Guest Furball

 

535672_10150739155809533_1269444783_n.jp

 

This just appeared in my newsfeed with calls to 'stand together' and repost. I'm surprised at how few wounds Jesus appears to be sporting. 

I lived for you for over 30 years, jesus; you were only dead for 3 days. .  We're even.  Get over it.

 

I am starting to fall in love with you and your posts. Is it possible for me to be a gay heterosexual?

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Guest Furball

 

"Live for me, i died for you?"    Sounds pretty f*cking arrogant. And a bit demanding-veruca salt from willy wonka anyone? 

 

Doesn't sound like the "I died for you" part was very successful. In my experience, the dead are silent as the grave. Even their wills can be over-ridden if proper procedures are followed.

 

This guy sounds very much alive--and thus can't claim "I died for you, live for me!"

 

I don't think it was successful either. However, the bible does tell us that when that fictional character died, many saints came out of their graves and wandered around town. Strange no one else wrote about such an amazing event outside the biblical account. Even more strange, no one wrote anything about any new testament story outside the biblical account. Boy, this is getting weird. 

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"Live for me, i died for you?"    Sounds pretty f*cking arrogant. And a bit demanding-veruca salt from willy wonka anyone? 

 

Doesn't sound like the "I died for you" part was very successful. In my experience, the dead are silent as the grave. Even their wills can be over-ridden if proper procedures are followed.

 

This guy sounds very much alive--and thus can't claim "I died for you, live for me!"

 

 

Yeah, the whole resurrection thing takes it from "sacrifice" to "feeling a bit ill for a bit". You really do need to lose something with some permanence for the term "sacrifice" to apply.

 

It's a bit like if I went to work after having the flu and told everyone that they should be grateful that I sacrificed my health and took a sick day off for their sakes and that they all owe me for it because I didn't infect anyone else.

 

Jesus would be the worst co-worker ever.

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One of my Uncles has apparently completely lost his mind. One of his daughters made a comment on Facebook with a couple of generic tags #LOL #YOLO and he lost his shit. Got a rant bitching her out for using the abbreviations and demanded that she stop. [she's an adult, don't get too worried.]

 

I'm not totally against that, but not for his reasons. These two images accompanied his rant...

 

Just+thought+this+was+funny_0f1f2e_45771

 

d.jpg?w=560&h=692

 

Honestly, this isn't all that new, as this is the same guy who graced us with this image not too long ago...

 

map_middle_east_problem_solved.jpg

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One of my Uncles has apparently completely lost his mind. One of his daughters made a comment on Facebook with a couple of generic tags #LOL #YOLO and he lost his shit. Got a rant bitching her out for using the abbreviations and demanded that she stop. [she's an adult, don't get too worried.]

 

I'm not totally against that, but not for his reasons. These two images accompanied his rant...

 

Just+thought+this+was+funny_0f1f2e_45771

 

d.jpg?w=560&h=692

 

Honestly, this isn't all that new, as this is the same guy who graced us with this image not too long ago...

 

map_middle_east_problem_solved.jpg

 

Tell your uncle like it is! He himself must be an evil Satanist for posting that picture saying "BEWARE," which stands for: "Beelzebub Everlasting We All Revere Eternally!"

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What I particularly enjoy about this is that the abbreviation guides were clearly invented as a joke.  And Christians apparently take them seriously.

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