Lucy Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 God caused you to wake up? He must be one hell of an annoying alarm clock. How about those mornings when people accidentally sleep in and miss work/school/appointments/uh...church?! What a glorious divine plan! God saved you from mysterious accidents that would have occurred had you left the house at your normal time. Every time a power surge resets your alarm clock and makes you late, you should imagine that it was god preventing an accident! I guess now that cell phones are the most common alarm clocks god is running their batteries down during the night to save us. Praise the lord! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Pray that God didn't forget? Why is the word "forget" even associated with a perfect omnipotent being? To be fair, that is not at all what it said. Look at it again. It's asserting that god didn't forget, not suggesting that someone pray for him to not forget. (It's still an annoyingly silly little religious quote, of course.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenWolf Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Urgent Prayers Needed The crisis in Iraq has got worse than ever. Scores have been murdered, (behead, raped, homes and churches destroyed we always think it can't get worse and it does... And these people still believe in a god.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rerics Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 You're right; I see my mistake. Nevertheless, my point still remains--Why is the concept of forgetting or not forgetting even associated with their God? If you don't wake up in the morning, I would think they would believe it was part of the plan, not human-like forgetfulness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mequa Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I just came upon it on a repost on a group: This lady was once a good Christian - a celibate woman who spent every day volunteering at the children's hospital, and never touched drugs or alcohol. Then one day she had a slight headache - and an ethnic man gave her some "medicinal" marijuanas. Now, after injecting just one marijuana, she has descended into the murky depths of the satanic lifestyle. She sells her once-pure body to buy drugs, and has begun sacrificing local children to the devil - often bathing in the blood of her victims, as seen in the picture below. She has also begun listening to death metal bands like Goat Carcuss and The Jonas Brothers. And guess what... She still has that headache!! The fact is that medicinal marijuanas are a complete myth! They have been clinically proven to make every health problem up to 50,000,000 times worse, and turn even the most decent and pure Christian into a ghastly satanic atheist!! Do YOU want to end up like this woman? Running the wrong way down the motorway at 4am, wrapped in raw badger meat, and flinging faeces at passing cars? No? Then put down the weed syringe and pick up a Bible!! Your body is a temple - and temples don't inject themselves with SIN! - Margaret Source Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluechipx Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I just came upon it on a repost on a group: This lady was once a good Christian - a celibate woman who spent every day volunteering at the children's hospital, and never touched drugs or alcohol. Then one day she had a slight headache - and an ethnic man gave her some "medicinal" marijuanas. Now, after injecting just one marijuana, she has descended into the murky depths of the satanic lifestyle. She sells her once-pure body to buy drugs, and has begun sacrificing local children to the devil - often bathing in the blood of her victims, as seen in the picture below. She has also begun listening to death metal bands like Goat Carcuss and The Jonas Brothers. And guess what... She still has that headache!! The fact is that medicinal marijuanas are a complete myth! They have been clinically proven to make every health problem up to 50,000,000 times worse, and turn even the most decent and pure Christian into a ghastly satanic atheist!! Do YOU want to end up like this woman? Running the wrong way down the motorway at 4am, wrapped in raw badger meat, and flinging faeces at passing cars? No? Then put down the weed syringe and pick up a Bible!! Your body is a temple - and temples don't inject themselves with SIN! - Margaret Source Great!! Just when I figured theist lunatics couldn't sink any deeper into their fantasy world this one comes along. Now I may have to stop looking at the theist wacko world for more insanity, this one set the bar sky high! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Why is the concept of forgetting or not forgetting even associated with their God? That's an easy one. Their supposedly all-knowing God had to invent rainbows to remind himself to not forget his promise to never flood the whole earth again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I just came upon it on a repost on a group: This lady was once a good Christian - a celibate woman who spent every day volunteering at the children's hospital, and never touched drugs or alcohol. Then one day she had a slight headache - and an ethnic man gave her some "medicinal" marijuanas. Now, after injecting just one marijuana, she has descended into the murky depths of the satanic lifestyle. She sells her once-pure body to buy drugs, and has begun sacrificing local children to the devil - often bathing in the blood of her victims, as seen in the picture below. She has also begun listening to death metal bands like Goat Carcuss and The Jonas Brothers. And guess what... She still has that headache!! The fact is that medicinal marijuanas are a complete myth! They have been clinically proven to make every health problem up to 50,000,000 times worse, and turn even the most decent and pure Christian into a ghastly satanic atheist!! Do YOU want to end up like this woman? Running the wrong way down the motorway at 4am, wrapped in raw badger meat, and flinging faeces at passing cars? No? Then put down the weed syringe and pick up a Bible!! Your body is a temple - and temples don't inject themselves with SIN! - Margaret Source Anything calling The Jonas Brothers death metal has to be a joke. In the link, there are some great comments under that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I just came upon it on a repost on a group: This lady was once a good Christian - a celibate woman who spent every day volunteering at the children's hospital, and never touched drugs or alcohol. Then one day she had a slight headache - and an ethnic man gave her some "medicinal" marijuanas. Now, after injecting just one marijuana, she has descended into the murky depths of the satanic lifestyle. She sells her once-pure body to buy drugs, and has begun sacrificing local children to the devil - often bathing in the blood of her victims, as seen in the picture below. She has also begun listening to death metal bands like Goat Carcuss and The Jonas Brothers. And guess what... She still has that headache!! The fact is that medicinal marijuanas are a complete myth! They have been clinically proven to make every health problem up to 50,000,000 times worse, and turn even the most decent and pure Christian into a ghastly satanic atheist!! Do YOU want to end up like this woman? Running the wrong way down the motorway at 4am, wrapped in raw badger meat, and flinging faeces at passing cars? No? Then put down the weed syringe and pick up a Bible!! Your body is a temple - and temples don't inject themselves with SIN! - Margaret Source Please tell me this is satire!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheOutsider Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Please tell me this is satire!! It has to be, I can't believe that it's not a poe. That level of ridiculousness can't be genuine... Can it? Please say no. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarflungWanderer Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Okay, a few things. 1. The Jonas Brothers aren't death metal. Although, it would be funny if they were. I wish Disney the best of luck keeping the whole "family-friendly" picture when they're dressed out like KISS. 2. You don't inject Marijuana. That is all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I just came upon it on a repost on a group: This lady was once a good Christian - a celibate woman who spent every day volunteering at the children's hospital, and never touched drugs or alcohol. Then one day she had a slight headache - and an ethnic man gave her some "medicinal" marijuanas. Now, after injecting just one marijuana, she has descended into the murky depths of the satanic lifestyle. She sells her once-pure body to buy drugs, and has begun sacrificing local children to the devil - often bathing in the blood of her victims, as seen in the picture below. She has also begun listening to death metal bands like Goat Carcuss and The Jonas Brothers. And guess what... She still has that headache!! The fact is that medicinal marijuanas are a complete myth! They have been clinically proven to make every health problem up to 50,000,000 times worse, and turn even the most decent and pure Christian into a ghastly satanic atheist!! Do YOU want to end up like this woman? Running the wrong way down the motorway at 4am, wrapped in raw badger meat, and flinging faeces at passing cars? No? Then put down the weed syringe and pick up a Bible!! Your body is a temple - and temples don't inject themselves with SIN! - Margaret Source Please tell me this is satire!! Oh goodness. K.. if they had used Whitney Houston I could see it.. but Kim K? wtf? Has to be satire, but it would be funnier if they used a pic of her with her natural hair colour and the horrid blonde she is right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cousin Ricky Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Oh goodness. K.. if they had used Whitney Houston I could see it.. but Kim K? wtf? Has to be satire, but it would be funnier if they used a pic of her with her natural hair colour and the horrid blonde she is right now. Ach! Kim K. gone blonde? Why'd you have to ruin my day with that piece of horrid news? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenWolf Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Christians hijacking the hang in there kitty poster concept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Oh goodness. K.. if they had used Whitney Houston I could see it.. but Kim K? wtf? Has to be satire, but it would be funnier if they used a pic of her with her natural hair colour and the horrid blonde she is right now. Ach! Kim K. gone blonde? Why'd you have to ruin my day with that piece of horrid news? It's not a good look Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Oh goodness. K.. if they had used Whitney Houston I could see it.. but Kim K? wtf? Has to be satire, but it would be funnier if they used a pic of her with her natural hair colour and the horrid blonde she is right now. Ach! Kim K. gone blonde? Why'd you have to ruin my day with that piece of horrid news? It's not a good look So . . . injecting medical marijuana given to you by an "ethnic man" (love that part!!!) turns your hair blond? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reprobate Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reprobate Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Unless that child is gay, then it is OK to treat them like shit. It also touches on one of the things that helped kill my faith. It was obvious that god had his favorite people and some got shit on time and time again in life. We treat our dogs better than god treats "his people". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 This is the kind of shit that drove me off the deep end when I was still a Christian. I felt so guilty for feeling lonely and wanting a relationship with a real human..."Jesus" was never enough and I hated myself for it. It's even more confusing when you're a straight guy, and you're told that Jesus can fulfill all of your needs. Uh, no. No he couldn't. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenWolf Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Church is home. Church is people. Church is friends. Church is family. You need them. They need you. Except when the church is full of toxic people who do more harm than good to try and get people to convert to Christianity. Wait, that's most of them.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 One of these things is not like the others ... Oh yeah. Jesus giving you an everlasting life is total Bull Hockey. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rerics Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 And therein lies the reason anyone even gives a rat's ass about Christianity. The whole "what can you give me?" angle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 James Dobson, telling xian parents how to behave as morally as the rest of us for 40 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I don't want to post the direct quote so I will paraphrase. When I started my diet I was reading a lot about nutritional labels and healthy foods, what I should and shouldn't eat. Then one day I was shocked to realize that I had been reading about dieting more than I had been reading my Bible lately! Christians will say we mustn't worship idols, but if you're spending more time worrying about your diet than God then it's like a form of idolatry. Remember these bodies are only temporary vessels for our immortal souls. Try to be healthy, but remember not to sacrifice your spiritual health for bodily health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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