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But...but...but... Christians not doing the work for god would be lazy!!

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"We Can't Have Homosexuals Redefine the Word Marriage!" This from the people who have redefined the word "Relationship" to mean 'Talking to yourself."

If you feel the need to say "I am not ashamed" of your faith you probably are ashamed or sense that you should be.

In honor of all our facebook fundy friends.    

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So slavery is the ONLY way Africans could have heard about Jesus? That makes no sense.

 

Couldn't missionaries have gone over and brainwashed African countries without the slavery part? Oh yes, they did and the majority of Africa has been converted to Christianity or Islam.

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So slavery is the ONLY way Africans could have heard about Jesus? That makes no sense.

 

Couldn't missionaries have gone over and brainwashed African countries without the slavery part? Oh yes, they did and the majority of Africa has been converted to Christianity or Islam.

 

Right, and let's not forget that Ethiopia/Abyssinia is one of the oldest Christian nations on Earth. Large parts of Western Africa (where slaves were acquired) had been subjected Islam for quite some time before European colonization (and enslaved by the muslims long before that for that matter) so it's not like all Africans were ignorant of the Abrahamic faiths.

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Tell that to a kid getting anally raped by a priest.

 

"Psst! Kid, don't worry! You having your rectum wrecked by someone you put a lot of trust into is totally a part of the Holy Fathers plan. Glory be to God!".

 

Fuck, these last few days I've been truly sickened by this bullshit. Can't they simply fuck off?

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So slavery is the ONLY way Africans could have heard about Jesus? That makes no sense.

 

Couldn't missionaries have gone over and brainwashed African countries without the slavery part? Oh yes, they did and the majority of Africa has been converted to Christianity or Islam.

Right, and let's not forget that Ethiopia/Abyssinia is one of the oldest Christian nations on Earth. Large parts of Western Africa (where slaves were acquired) had been subjected Islam for quite some time before European colonization (and enslaved by the muslims long before that for that matter) so it's not like all Africans were ignorant of the Abrahamic faiths.

Close to the time I was deconverting I sat through a sermon where the pastor said the Ethiopia they talk about in the bible is a different place from the one now I.e. Not the black people but closer to Egypt and israel. Afterwards I pointed out to him the archeological evidence linking modern day Ethiopia to bible times, how it was within sailing distance of the Mediterranean and that heck, Even the people LOOK in their features, hair and skin tone to be a mix of African and Arab . He just kinda shrugged his shoulders and said he was surprised too but that's what they had Proved at the seminar or wherever he had just been.

 

That is one of the things that helped me open my eyes . I was like 'this grown man has discarded what he Knows and his common sense tells him (I.e. Bible Ethiopia was the same place it is now or close enough excluding political borders etc. and had dark skinned people) and will overwrite it with something some so called bible expert says. One step towards the end for me.

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Doesn't matter what some smug Christian think, Ethiopia has had a christian presence since at least the fifth fourth century.

 

Edit: That pastor was probably referring to the Kingdom of Kush, which was occassionally referred to as "Ethiopia". However, it was a successor kingdom of Nubia, which was situated in what is modern Sudan, and as far as I know, the Nubians as well as their descendants the Sudanese are pretty damn darkskinned. They were probably even darker before the arrival of the Arabs and Islam.

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That one's been posted before, but it's such a classic I don't mind seeing it posted again :)

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Scientists are trying to scare small children? Atheists and homosexuals possessed by an intense hatred for children? Holy shit! biggrin.png

 

You just can't make this stuff up. Oh wait, the creationists just did.  

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My God is awesome. Look at the angels.

 

Enjoy (video).

Spotlights on a cloud? Wow, I wonder what would happen if those dense morons smoked pot.

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Those little Tinkerbell-looking things floating around? Really? I thought angels were described in the bible as having eyes of fire and flaming swords, and now they've been reduced to sparkly sky-fairies.

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This just came through from my dear, sweet cousin.....

 

Lordy, lordy...it's so hard to hold back sometimes.....

 

 

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"Worship all gods..."

"...except Jesus or go to hell"

Sounds legit. Ok

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Gods lil angel??  How many gods are we talking about?

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Whenever I see dumb stuff posted by fundies on Facebook, or whenever I hear someone at church say something dumb (which is every single week that I go), I am reminded of Lewis Black's bit about going to IHOP, which is where he heard the dumbest thing ever in his life up to that point.

 

If It Weren't For My Horse

by Lewis Black

So I finished the meal, and I was drinking the boysenberry—well, because I had to take the edge off the coffee—when from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following. It was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected the Vice President of the United States. She said, "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

 

I'm gonna repeat that because it bears repeating. If it weren't for my horse—as in, "giddyap giddyap, let's go"—I wouldn't have spent that year in college, which is a degree-granting institution.

 

Don't—don't—think about that sentence for more than three minutes or blood will shoot out your nose.

 

The American medical profession does not know why we get an aneurysm. An aneurysm is when a blood vessel bursts in your head for no apparent reason. There is a reason. You go to the mall one day with your friends. Somebody over there says the dumbest thing you've ever heard. And it goes in your ear. Now, you turn around to see if your friends heard it. But your friends are over there, and they're pretending that they're going to buy a cellular phone. And they're not going to buy a cellular phone, because these idiots don't understand what the rate structure means. So you turn back to see who said it, 'cause if you could talk to them and just ask them, like, you know, what did you mean by that? But they're gone. And now those words are in your head.

 

And they stay there. They don't go away. I know you think you're driving to work. But you're not driving to work. All your brain is thinking is "if it weren't for my horse, if it weren't for my horse." You sit down and have dinner with your family, and you think you're having dinner, but you're not. It's going woowoowoowoo, how did she get into college with a horse? It's like a moebius strip in your head, it just goes over and over and over for seven days that's all you think about. You don't know you're thinking about it, but you're brain's going overtime, and at the end of the week, they find you dead in your bathroom.

 

I honestly don't see what makes this the stupidest thing ever. I can imagine a lot of contexts where this could make sense. Was she saying that having a horse made her want to become a veterinarian/wildlife expert/etc., or maybe that she earned money from horse-riding for tuition or got some kind of horse-related scholarship?

All of those scenarios could explain the "horse = college" statement and none of them involve Christian stupidity, so I don't really get it.

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Wonder which bad is being ripped off this time?

 

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Slayer, maybe? 

 

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