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Things Fundies Say On Facebook


Brother Jeff

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Doesn't sound so good for God...

 

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Which is abuse.

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A friend updated to his status to this:

 

"I wonder if taco bell gets upset when straight people freak out about there values? Oh thats right we act like adults. I think its perfectly clear that gay people are the issue here not chick fil a."

 

 

Wendytwitch.gif

 

I can't even figure out what the hell that even means.

 

I think he's saying.... gay people have a problem, because they complain about being treated badly. Straight people aren't a problem, because they aren't complaining about being treated badly by gays........ which. just. doesn't. make. any. sense.

 

Yeah. See? You think it's making some sort of cogent point, until you try to figure out what that point actually is, and then it steps just out of your field of vision so you have to go looking for it again. In a way, it's rather brilliant.

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In a way, it's rather brilliant.

 

In several ways, it makes me want to punch him in the face. ;)

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A friend updated to his status to this:

 

"I wonder if taco bell gets upset when straight people freak out about there values? Oh thats right we act like adults. I think its perfectly clear that gay people are the issue here not chick fil a."

 

 

Wendytwitch.gif

 

I can't even figure out what the hell that even means.

 

I think he's saying.... gay people have a problem, because they complain about being treated badly. Straight people aren't a problem, because they aren't complaining about being treated badly by gays........ which. just. doesn't. make. any. sense.

 

Looks to me like it's calling gays childish. Funny thing is, the gays I know personally act like adults, while I've seen quite a few straights act like little babies. Broadbrushing and ill-informed biases always piss me off.

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Yeah, I for one abhor how much gays campaign against my civil rights. Don't you just hate that? Dunno bout you guys, but I was out there marching to keep them from stopping me from getting married last year. Whew! That was a really close vote, wasn't it? And a friend of mine got beaten up by gays because he wasn't wearing enough glitter. It's astonishing how marginalized they make us. The real wonder is that straights are so apathetic about this wholesale removal of our rights!

 

oh wait

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"If you're gonna smoke, smoke Jesus! Lol!!!"

 

I sense that she might have a future here. zDuivel2.gif

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Today's BS:

 

Xian1

‎"Now, dear brothers and sisters, I appeal to you by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop arguing among yourselves. Let there be real harmony so there won't be divisions in the church. I plead with you to be of one mind, united in thought and purpose." (Paul, the Apostle of Christ Jesus, to the Church in Corinth; 1 Corinthians 1:10)

 

Xian 2. Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

 

Xian 3. Amen!

 

Xian 4. Paul was a wise dude...

 

Xian 5. AMEN! And Hallelujah, Hosanah! (Gossip & petty bickering &/or 'pent up' resentment, directly born of sin, ALL! Is KILLING many, many Churches...& isseverely "Crippling" the Church, as a body is crippled!

 

 

 

Praise be to God that He has shown us AND Warned us, about these concerns, DIRECTLY andin plain speech, through the Great Counsellor! I pray, in the name of my beloved Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Let not these words of warning, of wisdom & of Lovingkindness- Not fall upon deaf ears! Amen... (thank you Xian 1..this passage speaks directly to much that has troubled Many hearts andbrought crushing weight upon several souls, undeserving of such, "Spiritual & emotional Stonings'..."!

 

 

 

Your servant in Him, and your loving brother in Jesus.

 

Xian1...it did make me weep when I read it this morning. May Christ have mercy on us all.

 

Xian 6. Amen!!!!!!

 

Xian 7. This verse just keeps on surfacing this week....praying that there is an awakening of spirits to come together, truly united as THE CHURCH we were meant to be! Praise God we have His Word to remind us!!!

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BLARF

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BLARF

 

I really need to start a Jeebus loves you webpage where people can donate to me spreading the gospel! Just say the right shit and accept PayPal or Visa and I'd have it made. There are so many ignorant people out there that need to be fleeced.

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hjghjghj.jpg

 

Benny (josh) is a guy i went to fundyschool with. i wanted to take him to task for using the 'unregenerative minds cannot comprehend things of the spirit' shtick, but thought better of it. at least he served that guy his own ass.

 

edit: sorry, that's almost unreadable

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BLARF

 

I really need to start a Jeebus loves you webpage where people can donate to me spreading the gospel! Just say the right shit and accept PayPal or Visa and I'd have it made. There are so many ignorant people out there that need to be fleeced.

 

People like Joel olsteen do it every day.

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hjghjghj.jpg

 

Benny (josh) is a guy i went to fundyschool with. i wanted to take him to task for using the 'unregenerative minds cannot comprehend things of the spirit' shtick, but thought better of it. at least he served that guy his own ass.

 

edit: sorry, that's almost unreadable

 

I was able to read it after enlarging it a few times.

 

Basically, the second-last commenter told the fundy "you're an arsehole" in christianese lol.

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Talk about a roundabout argument - it's true you can never fully trust your sense, but that doesn't mean trusting in something even your senses can't detect as any better.

 

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A Christian page posted that image, to which someone posted this mind-boggling response:

Unbelief is a product of laziness plus unwillingness combined with illogical thought provided by disobedience, multiplied by deadened conscience subtracted from innocence by added indulgence in self gratification

 

Did this person actually look at the keyboard while they were typing or are they punching in random words and hoping for something coherent? Worse yet, did they use a thesaurus on every second word to try and sound clever?

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Talk about a roundabout argument - it's true you can never fully trust your sense, but that doesn't mean trusting in something even your senses can't detect as any better.

 

599550_449113835128286_349303244_n.jpg

A Christian page posted that image, to which someone posted this mind-boggling response:

Unbelief is a product of laziness plus unwillingness combined with illogical thought provided by disobedience, multiplied by deadened conscience subtracted from innocence by added indulgence in self gratification

 

Did this person actually look at the keyboard while they were typing or are they punching in random words and hoping for something coherent? Worse yet, did they use a thesaurus on every second word to try and sound clever?

 

What a jackass. In reality belief is all those things.

 

Moron.

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A Christian page posted that image, to which someone posted this mind-boggling response:

Unbelief is a product of laziness plus unwillingness combined with illogical thought provided by disobedience, multiplied by deadened conscience subtracted from innocence by added indulgence in self gratification

 

...DAFUQ did I just read??!!

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Damn. I wish God's people would leave me alone...

 

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If so, he's got a lot of explaining to do. If he was there when I was being raped as a child and said nothing about it, did nothing about it, didn't lift a divine finger to stop it, then he's no use to me whatsoever. As deities go, I can do a fuckload better than someone who's apparently there all the time but can either not be arsed to help me, is incapable of helping me, or actively wants me to suffer as part of some divine "plan." Fuck him, and fuck his chirpy followers who don't think this horseshit glurge through for five goddamned seconds.

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Akheia, I'm sorry to hear about that. I can't imagine what you must have gone through.

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Damn. I wish God's people would leave me alone...

 

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HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE.

NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE.

NEVER.

 

bluegrab.gif

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God sounds like a stalker.

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Akheia, I'm sorry to hear about that. I can't imagine what you must have gone through.

 

No worries, I'm fine now, but I do thank you for the concern. Something like that is horrible to talk about, but it's one of the things that Christians have absolutely no defense against. Sexual violence against a child is one of those big awful things that highlight the irrationality and cruelty behind the Christian mindset. I know that any right-thinking person would have leaped to my defense and stopped what happened. But God, who is all-powerful and all-loving, who is everywhere at once, who loves all his people and cares more for them than he cares for anything else in the whole of the universe, doesn't do a thing to stop a sweet little girl from an unthinkable attack? There's no logic behind it, no "master plan" that this could possibly be a good part of. Whatever "lesson" I was supposed to learn could surely have been imparted some less harmful way; whatever sin I'd committed in my short life up to then didn't deserve that kind of retaliation. My childhood is the Kryptonite of the omnibenevolence concept. The only defense evangelicals can offer is "Well, we just don't understand. We can't judge God." You know what? Yes, I do understand. And yes, I absolutely can and DO judge their deity. My judgment: he's fake. He's a nice fairy tale that adults chirp and parrot a lot about, but that's it. It's the only explanation that makes sense, and it makes a scarily big amount of sense--a lot more than the idea that God is everywhere and lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrves us all, but for some unthinkable, unknowable reason either cannot or won't lift a finger to help a child in trouble.

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Akheia, I'm sorry to hear about that. I can't imagine what you must have gone through.

 

No worries, I'm fine now, but I do thank you for the concern. Something like that is horrible to talk about, but it's one of the things that Christians have absolutely no defense against. Sexual violence against a child is one of those big awful things that highlight the irrationality and cruelty behind the Christian mindset. I know that any right-thinking person would have leaped to my defense and stopped what happened. But God, who is all-powerful and all-loving, who is everywhere at once, who loves all his people and cares more for them than he cares for anything else in the whole of the universe, doesn't do a thing to stop a sweet little girl from an unthinkable attack? There's no logic behind it, no "master plan" that this could possibly be a good part of. Whatever "lesson" I was supposed to learn could surely have been imparted some less harmful way; whatever sin I'd committed in my short life up to then didn't deserve that kind of retaliation. My childhood is the Kryptonite of the omnibenevolence concept. The only defense evangelicals can offer is "Well, we just don't understand. We can't judge God." You know what? Yes, I do understand. And yes, I absolutely can and DO judge their deity. My judgment: he's fake. He's a nice fairy tale that adults chirp and parrot a lot about, but that's it. It's the only explanation that makes sense, and it makes a scarily big amount of sense--a lot more than the idea that God is everywhere and lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrves us all, but for some unthinkable, unknowable reason either cannot or won't lift a finger to help a child in trouble.

 

God sucks.

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God sucks.

 

Actually, it's more of a licking action. :P

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God sucks.

 

Actually, it's more of a licking action. tongue.png

 

He's gone from suck to blow. (Thanks to the Schwartz)

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This was posted by one of my fraternity brothers. I handed his ass to him.

 

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Me: One day of proud bigotry is something to be proud of?

 

Random person: It will be interesting to see what sales are like afterwards...personally, I won't be eating there...I think free speech is fine...and I have the freedom to spend my money where I please.

 

Him: I love you like a brother, but the CEO of Chick-fila never made one deragtory comment about homosexuality. In fact he said that he believed in traditional marriage, and honors the Sabbath by being closed on Sundays. It has been the le...

ft that has gone on the offensive and attacked him and one of the founding principles of this country. You need to read some the not so kind tweets that the tolerant Hollywood liberals have said about him and his business.

 

Me: What it all boils down to is this. There are zero non-sectarian reasons against same sex marriage. I'm sure your familiar with the establishment clause.

 

Besides, does he also support the biblical requirement for a rape victim to marry her rapist? How about for a widow to marry her (married) brother in law? How about the other provisions surrounding polygamy which god condoned? What about stoning to death any woman who's not a virgin on her wedding night? Yeah I guess not. That means its about one thing - the gays. It has nothing to do with the bible.

 

Me: And by the way, none of that was any indictment on you. It is simply my thoughts on the situation.

 

I haven't heard a response back yet, but don't really expect one.

 

Here's the rest of the story:

 

Random person: Here's something to think about...how many of those principled individuals will be at church on Sunday when cfa is closed? And how many of those will drop a few bucks in the offering plate?

 

(Fundy) Frat Brother #2(coming to save the day): There is a big difference btwn tolerance and acceptance. Just because one is tolerant of a choice, lifestyle or belief does not mean one has to accept it. The word bigotry is being tossed around very loosely here. A question was asked to a conservative Christian. he answered. It this a shock?

 

 

Frat Brother #2: Oops...hit enter. I am not sure exactly what Bible you are reading Michael. I grew up with 8 years of Lutheran upbringing and have never read any of the instances you speak of. In terms of how many of these people will be at church on Su...

nday....I would say quite a few. And the best part.....I can go either way on any of this. The fact that groups who love to stand behind free speach are the ones crying foul. The sun rose and set today. What same sex couples did or did not do had no bearing whatsoever on me. I wish more people would learn that kind of tolerance and just be thankful for the life they have.

 

Me: Jeremy, don't take my word for it, look it up. But I promise you it's all there.

 

Frat Brother #2: I have Michael. My entire life.

 

Me: I don't understand. Are you asking for quotes?

 

OP: Confused?? The Left supports taking under god out of the pledge and atheism, then when a conservative supports traditional marriage, they are bibilical scholars.

 

 

Frat Brother #2: No Michael. I don't need quotes. Like I said, I have read the Bible and attended church my entire life. I am not sure what Bible you read or how you interpret what you read. I am sorry you feel that the Bible has in some way caused this...

 

Me: Jeremy, forgive me if I'm wrong but what I hear you saying is "I don't care what your evidence is, you're wrong because I say so." I'm slightly offended. By the way, I'm no longer a believer but I've never felt more alive. I am at peace with my inevitable mortality.

 

 

Frat Brother #2: That is not at all what I am saying. If you are happy, that is wonderful Michael but you seem to be more interested in trying to prove me wrong thatn being okay with your decision. I don't believe the same things Jehovah's Witnesses belie...

ve. I disagree with doctrines and philsosophies in many different churches, but I believe in God and don't really get too wound up on the things I don't agree with. I have never seen one verse on rape or God condoning polygamy. Did they stone in those times, yes. Ever take a look at what is going on in the Middle East these days?

What you believe or don't believe....that is up to you. I will let you have the last word and will simply leave this with the one phrase that probably will not sit well with you....but I'll say it anyway. I'll pray for you Michael.

 

OP: (To Fundy Frat brother) you would fit right in down here!

 

 

Me: This took a lot of time to compose so please do me the respect to read everything.

First things first:

God requires rape victims to marry their attackers

Deuteronomy 22:28-29

28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothe...

d, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;

29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

 

Stone to death a woman not a virgin on her wedding night.

Deuteronomy 22:20-21

20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

 

Brother is required to marry his widow sister in law

Deuteronomy 25:5-6

5 If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her.

6 And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel.

 

God condones polygamy:

2 Samuel 12:7-8

7 And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul;

8 And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.

 

And one more I didn’t mention just for shock value:

Isaiah 13:15-18

15 Anyone who is captured will be cut down—

run through with a sword.

16 Their little children will be dashed to death before their eyes.

Their homes will be sacked, and their wives will be raped.

17 “Look, I will stir up the Medes against Babylon.

They cannot be tempted by silver

or bribed with gold.

18 The attacking armies will shoot down the young men with arrows.

They will have no mercy on helpless babies

and will show no compassion for children.”

 

Jeremy, I could go on for hours; this is just the start. The truth of the matter is I started reading the bible cover to cover to strengthen my faith and get closer to god, but the bible itself destroyed my faith. I found dozens of passages that are never mentioned in any church in America. They are swept under the rug, for good reason.

As far as trying to prove you wrong, I made a claim not you. I have vetted my own claim for your reading pleasure. You should note that the only time I ever get involved in other people’s posts on their own walls is when they use their religion or beliefs to put down, oppress, or persecute others. People should be ashamed to be proud that they are fighting to curtail the rights of Americans; it’s no different than the same evangelicals who in the 60s said mixed race marriage was un-Christian and against the traditional definition of marriage. These people should be ashamed of themselves. I think every human on Earth deserves the same rights and privileges I have, that includes any consenting adult being able to marry any other consenting adult. I already proved my point that most evangelicals today who use the term “traditional biblical definition of marriage” do so through their own filter of modern secular values. What you are left with is bigotry against homosexuals without much biblical leg to stand on.

 

Frat Brother #2: As I said, I will pray for you.

 

Me: You are and always have been very kind Jeremy.

 

Frat Brother #2: Mike, I started looking at some of the verses and am not going to reply to all of them but again, these are taken out of context. Remember that the Bible is a historical document inspired by God but written by men. And, you are using Old Testament verses; a time where customs and cultures were vastly different than what you or I deam as appropriate or just.

 

 

Isaiah 13: 15-18 is a prophecy against Babylon which was a godless, evil kingdom. This is God trying to get the attention of the Babylonians; Isaiah was saying that if they did not change their evil ways there would be a price to pay. Isa...

iah was threatening the king. The kingdom will fall.

 

If you continue to read, you will read that the Lord will have compassion on Jacob (The people of Israel who was enslaved and horribly treated by the King). Basically, this is a section that speaks of squashng evil and freeing, liberating people. You speak passionately about equal rights? You picked a great verse for it.

 

 

Me: Here’s what Jesus had to say about the Old Testament:

Matthew 5:18

For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.

I still feel like you’re not really list...

ening to what I even have to say. I started reading the bible as a true believer. I read the whole book from cover to cover. I have the whole context. Taking out of context would be grabbing one verse, going to an apologetics website, and looking for an explanation for said disturbing, evil, immoral piece of text. After reading hundreds of similarly immoral verses, my cognitive dissonance gave up and I came to the inescapable conclusion that the bible has nothing divine about it and was simply written by ignorant Bronze Age primitives.

I'm not trying to change your mind, but by your own words the bible comes from a time of different customs and cultures, so how are we not in agreement regarding my initial point to the whole conversation, that we should be cautious about using it for our modern guide to morality?

 

Frat Brother #2: You make me smile Michael. Let's just agree to disagree. It is way to nice of a day. Carry on friend.

 

 

 

Parting thoughts, I shouldn't have let the OP get away with dive bombing me but I was trying so hard to keep it on topic and had limited time, often posting from my phone except when I had to gather quotes. I also should have driven home that point that the only bible quote he choose to mention was the off topic one I added at the end. He never answered any of the actual ones relating to marriage. I'm just dumbfounded, I see these back and forth dalogues everyone else posts, but I guess this is the first time I've ever had a real deal conversation with someone that I actually know where I shared with them quotes of Yahweh playing Hitler and they fucking defended it. I want to puke.

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