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Brother Jeff

Things Fundies Say On Facebook

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ETA: Oh hey think they'll also do the even older custom of "putting the couple to bed" afterward?

 

And no one does any good "bride abductions" anymore. I want to see the bride get whisked away on a horse from in front of the church. :P

 

Modern weddings are BORING.

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They're community plays put on by people who have no clue how to act, how to organize a big group effort, or even how to write a compelling story, all on a (usually) shoestring budget with casts of varying degrees of willingness and vendors of varying levels of evil rapaciousness. With a good group and a leader who can organize decently and has a realistic budget for what she's trying to accomplish, they can at least be tolerable for one afternoon (wait, am I talking about weddings or D&D sessions?). I used to like a wedding reality show a few years ago, but the level of self-absorption and vanity eventually wore me out. I've got a DJ friend who plays weddings and oh my gawd the stories he tells.

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They're community plays put on by people who have no clue how to act, how to organize a big group effort, or even how to write a compelling story, all on a (usually) shoestring budget with casts of varying degrees of willingness and vendors of varying levels of evil rapaciousness. With a good group and a leader who can organize decently and has a realistic budget for what she's trying to accomplish, they can at least be tolerable for one afternoon (wait, am I talking about weddings or D&D sessions?). I used to like a wedding reality show a few years ago, but the level of self-absorption and vanity eventually wore me out. I've got a DJ friend who plays weddings and oh my gawd the stories he tells.

 

My wife and I don't like to dance. So for our reception we had everyone bring board games. Nothing like playing Month Python Fluxx with your wife on your wedding day.

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Caption Her: How am I gonna explain a 6 month pregnancy.

"I know, I'll say God did it, it worked for Mary!!!"

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My wife and I don't like to dance. So for our reception we had everyone bring board games. Nothing like playing Month Python Fluxx with your wife on your wedding day.

 

Oh my, that kicks ass. I love board games! If I ever had a wedding celebration I think I'd sponsor a trail ride in the mountains near my suburban palace and say my vows in a white cowboy hat and boots. Or have a dancing instructor on hand and let people learn how to dance so they aren't just shuffling around like high-schoolers; my husband and I love ballroom dancing. As PJ O'Rourke once wrote, if you keep people busy and confused, they're likely to think they're having fun.

 

You know, I'm suddenly looking at that girl in the wedding dress and wondering why she's got her hand protectively draped over her belly like that. I just got done watching a "Lie To Me" episode where the hero analyzes a photo of a girl doing the same gesture. Maybe she just likes how nice the fabric feels on her stomach? Or is that the trendy new prayer position her church likes?

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"Some good life wisdom from our creator: ...Psalm 101:1-7.... I will sing of your love and justice, LORD. I will praise you with songs. I will be careful to live a blameless life—when will you come to help me? I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them. I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil. I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors. I will not endure conceit and pride. I will search for faithful people to be my companions. Only those who are above reproach will be allowed to serve me. I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence"

 

This from my sister today. I was SO SO tempted to reply with the rest of the verse. "..and I will murder my wife's lover and sing the praises of infanticide forever." She knows I'm ex-c but I still don't fancy a shitstorm just now.

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Oh, you should... you should!

 

So here is the latest from my Infamous Zionist Christian friend. This exchange got me defriended again, and I am not attempting to get him to friend me back this time. :)

 

 

Original status post: "W/o the grace of God, we'd all be hypocrites."

 

Me: Believing in the grace of God and Jesus does not preclude one from being a hypocrite. Just thought I'd point that out.

 

Infamous Zionist Xtian: You're missing the point, again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Me: Point it out to me, then.

 

IZX: No. You don't listen.

 

Somewhat Reasonable Xtian: I know that without Jesus Christ, we'd all be lost to our own worldly filth and self destruction. I'm sure you both believe THAT.

 

SRX: Unfortunately, she doesn't.

 

Me: If Jesus Christ is a metaphor for compassion, love, forgiveness, repentance, etc... yes, I do believe that.

 

SRX: well it does you no good to believe in God if you don't believe in Jesus. You can only get to the Father through the Son

 

SRX: You have a right to believe whatever you want. I have no problem with that. Nobody can make you believe, but it's like taking a shower and not using soap...it don't get you clean

 

Me: I have found that believing that excluded the majority of the world and ignored that people without the Christian religion can be just as loving and forgiving. In the most idealized forms of any faith, we all believe in the same principles. God is love and bigger than our worldy perceptions. God is not merely a man hanging on a cross, the Buddha under the Bodhi tree, or any other man-made perception.

 

IZX: Shannon, you only believe what tickles your ears. There is much out there that you refuse to look at.

 

SRX: now Brian, that's her right. You can't force the issue. We disagree, but choose not to treat them any different

 

IZX: I'm not treating her any differently, though. I don't respect her REASONS for her beliefs. If she just didn't understand, it'd be different. But she is hardcore against truth.

 

Me: In a sense, you are right, Brian. I was encouraged once to re-examine all that I had been taught and reject that which insults my soul. That struck a chord with me and that is my spirituality. If that is akin to tickling my ears, so be it. For me, it insults the very idea of a loving God to presume that this god will send people to eternal damnation and torture for not believing in magic, even if said person believes in love and repentance. The cognitive dissonace of maintaining such beliefs drove me crazy. The freedom I feel from being true to my very core is indescribable. In reality, you don't know the reasons for my disbelief. You back out of conversations whenever I try to explain, and it would take more than a few conversations to explain anyway.

 

IZX: I'll leave with you with this Shannon. You have any idea what misery Darwin experienced for his atheism? That's what happens to non-believers. No escaping that.

 

Me: Hmm... I'll have to look into that. I will leave you with this: just because one person is not fulfilled by atheism, it doesn't mean that everyone else who attempts the same thing will also be left empty. I do not idolize Darwin as some sort of Secular Guru. Each person has to walk their own path and find what makes them happy. We are all on a journey and we take different roads to the same destination.

 

IZX: The same destination can only be reached by travelling the same road.

 

Me: Um.... looked at a map lately?

 

IZX: I was speaking of the spiritual sense. And they are only two roads spiritually-- the straight and narrow way, and the broad way.

 

SRX: Im out of this because arguing with a fool make you foolish too

Me: Ironic... I feel the same way when I try to discuss anything spiritual with Christians of your type. Peace and happiness to you all, regardless of whatever beliefs you may hold. Let us focus on what brings us together and not that which divides us.

 

SRX: I didn't mean to imply you are a fool, just that we shouldn't argue over thigns we'll never agree on

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I just have to say I get a kick out of this thread. I don't have Facebook, but I used to be spammed by annoying email forwards similar to these Facebook posts. Many of them simply regurgitated urban legends, written with the obvious intent to incite either some kind of emotional heartstring or indignant outrage response. You can direct them to Snopes or reply with a good debunking article and it goes in one ear and right out the other. Or they get huffy :D

 

What used to piss me off (before I enacted server-side bye-bye filters) was the people sending this crap could rarely be bothered to take two minutes of their precious time and type something in their own words and send a personal note. It was almost always these damned forwards.

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Pandora, how do you stand this patronizing assmonkey? I'm sorry - but a freind, he doesn't act at all like one. A friend wouldn't publically indirectly threaten you or call you a fool then immediately claim he didn't in a public forum like that; I don't care how nice he is in real life. I would maybe point this out to him in private, off Facebook if you still talk to him outside of Facebook?

 

(However that said, I think his lashing out at you is frustration from cognitive dissonance - directed at you, for bringing it to the front of his mind.) I think you've been defriended so you can't do that as CD is pretty uncomfortable.

 

But I'm sorry, he and his little buddy Chumley are just acting like dicks. Your replies to their attempting-to-be-deep vomited Christianisms made me chuckle, "Um.... looked at a map lately?" :D You have more patience than I do!

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I used to see him in real life on a daily basis at work. I've been to one of his comedy shows at a local comedy place. I don't see him anymore, and I don't mind that he unfriended me. I'm so patient because I give him a lot of slack due to his brainwashed-ness. :D I feel sorry for his wife if they ever get in any argument. I bet he is a total asswipe controlling douchebag cuntferret (not my term, thank you to whomever coined it, Akheia I think?). He has that typical controlling abuser personality--charming and super sweet in real life and at first, but obviously that is not how he is once he is comfortable with you.

 

I naively think my reasonableness will somehow get him to think. You never know, he may experience something and remember me down the road and I might be able to help him leave the faith. Others who know him and who have PMed me apologizing for his behavior have said that he has always been this way: outspoken, rude, and unable to discuss anything he doesn't believe in. I'm a forgiving person and I don't take it too personally. It was entertaining while it lasted. :D

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Bwahaha! Yeah, I get it. I tend to react a few ways to some things, one one hand be patient and forgiving and the next second thinking "total asswipe controlling douchebag cuntferret" :D (Maybe that was a Lunaticheathen phrase?) depending on what kind of day I'm having.

 

I've known a few abuser-personalities like your assmonkey friend. I think a good chunk of them probably adopt the operating credo of their master (Yahweh).

 

I had one 'friend' that told me once I'd better "get back in the Word" or god would put his thumb on my head and crush me until I said "uncle". When I briefly did have Facebook, I had replied (privately) to a post he had made on something, basically agreeing with him as I was still an annoying Christbot at that time - and he replied back questioning me about some percived 'sin' of mine! I kind of blasted him as it being none of his business, he got indignant and we haven't corresponded since. Ahh, can't you see the happy butterflies and rainbows swirling over that one. :D

 

Your naivetably-conceived reasonableness may well prove to be something he can mull on later, you're right. :D

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Infamous Zionist Xtian: You're missing the point, again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Me: Point it out to me, then.

 

IZX: No. You don't listen.

 

IZX: Shannon, you only believe what tickles your ears. There is much out there that you refuse to look at.

 

SRX: now Brian, that's her right. You can't force the issue. We disagree, but choose not to treat them any different

 

IZX: I'm not treating her any differently, though. I don't respect her REASONS for her beliefs. If she just didn't understand, it'd be different. But she is hardcore against truth.

 

I like Brian/IZX. He's funny in a Monty Python kind of way.

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I posted this cartoon on my facebook page the other day. Slowly, responses are trickling in. I won't post all the reponses and PMs I got, but apparently it really pissed off a ton of my friends, some of whom I didn't even know were Christian! I kind of feel bad because I didn't mean to strike such a chord and cause them to get on the defensive. They say it is a gross oversimplification and that I was trying to mock Christianity. I don't think so. This comic speaks the truth of what most Christians believe, assuming the hooker was a non-believer. What do you think?

 

75177_10151195653709483_1166039192_n.jpg

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I'm not on Facebook, but today I saw a huge creepy decal on a car window that I had never seen before. And I hope I never see it again.

 

I had to look up the bible verse.....

 

 

“I will be a Father to you,

and you will be my sons and daughters,

says the Lord Almighty."

 

Wendycrazy.gifrepuke.gifsmiliegojerkit.gif

designall.jpg

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I'm not on Facebook, but today I saw a huge creepy decal on a car window that I had never seen before. And I hope I never see it again.

 

I had to look up the bible verse.....

 

 

“I will be a Father to you,

and you will be my sons and daughters,

says the Lord Almighty."

 

Wendycrazy.gifrepuke.gifsmiliegojerkit.gif

 

176529-stewie_gun_mouth_super.jpg

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any way to put god on sex offenders list?

 

he made mary pregnant, least of all

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Oh, you should... you should!

-snip-

This pattern of cognitive dissonance happens every single time. They have to lash out at anyone that presents logic and challenges their perception of being speshall.

 

They do not like to think outside the box, they know these arguments against their beliefs are sound, they just hate having to confront them.

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IZX: I'm not treating her any differently, though. I don't respect her REASONS for her beliefs. If she just didn't understand, it'd be different. But she is hardcore against truth.

 

 

If he wants to focus on "truth" so much, I'd tell him that we know something's true because it has sufficient evidence. Can he show evidence for his religion that can't be better explained by something else? How does he KNOW it's true.

 

I was reading Hitchen's book "God is not Great" and he mentioned that some scientists have a special word for nonsense. Instead of saying it's "wrong" they say it's so out there and unrelated that it's "not even wrong". It's just nonsense. A lot of religion is that. (Not all, some is a legitimate attempt, though very astray, to define the unknowable)

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I posted this cartoon on my facebook page the other day. Slowly, responses are trickling in. I won't post all the reponses and PMs I got, but apparently it really pissed off a ton of my friends, some of whom I didn't even know were Christian! I kind of feel bad because I didn't mean to strike such a chord and cause them to get on the defensive. They say it is a gross oversimplification and that I was trying to mock Christianity. I don't think so. This comic speaks the truth of what most Christians believe, assuming the hooker was a non-believer. What do you think?

 

75177_10151195653709483_1166039192_n.jpg

 

Yeah I've seen this before. They're mad because its a realistic portrayal of their "reality" and shows it for the ridiculous idea it is.

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2mrds08.png

 

MIRACLE! Yet millions are dying from diseases every year, until science finds a cure for them, THEN it will be a miracle as well. I guess god only cares about video games.

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Belief in God does not prove his existence.

 

But...

 

3rco4c.jpg

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The irony here is that gawd did nothing so after taking matters into her own hands... Sometimes the lesson is lost on folks.

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2mrds08.png

 

MIRACLE! Yet millions are dying from diseases every year, until science finds a cure for them, THEN it will be a miracle as well. I guess god only cares about video games.

Sure. It was in a shrink-wrapped box with the text "Nintendo 3DS" on it. This was an attempt to use God as an excuse for shoplifting. :shrug: Just like Mary blaming God for having a one-night stand.

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Belief in God does not prove his existence.

 

But...

 

3rco4c.jpg

 

Well, it's in the Bible, so it must be right. I guess you got me there.

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I posted this cartoon on my facebook page the other day. Slowly, responses are trickling in. I won't post all the reponses and PMs I got, but apparently it really pissed off a ton of my friends, some of whom I didn't even know were Christian! I kind of feel bad because I didn't mean to strike such a chord and cause them to get on the defensive. They say it is

a gross oversimplification and that I was trying to mock Christianity. I don't

think so. This comic speaks the truth of what most Christians believe,

assuming the hooker was a non-believer. What do you think?

 

75177_10151195653709483_1166039192_n.jpg

 

Oh well. According to Xianity it's true, so they shouldn't complain. If they don't like it, no one is making them look at it.

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