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Things Fundies Say On Facebook


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Here's a peach from my newsfeed tonight.

 

"People have a hard time believing their is a God. But what they dont know is that our whole time frame in life is based on when Jesus stepped foot on the earth. EX. 10,000 B.C is before Jesus came and A.D. is the time frame that the world uses after Jesus came.. Well If God didnt exist then the whole world is full of idiots that believe he did so i'm a idiot lol :-)"

 

Got that last part right....

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"We Can't Have Homosexuals Redefine the Word Marriage!" This from the people who have redefined the word "Relationship" to mean 'Talking to yourself."

If you feel the need to say "I am not ashamed" of your faith you probably are ashamed or sense that you should be.

In honor of all our facebook fundy friends.    

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"People have a hard time believing their is a God. But what they dont know is that our whole time frame in life is based on when Jesus stepped foot on the earth. EX. 10,000 B.C is before Jesus came and A.D. is the time frame that the world uses after Jesus came.. Well If God didnt exist then the whole world is full of idiots that believe he did so i'm a idiot lol :-)"

The nurses in the psych ward have *got* to keep those patients off facebook! Wendycrazy.gif

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Here's a peach from my newsfeed tonight.

 

"People have a hard time believing their is a God. But what they dont know is that our whole time frame in life is based on when Jesus stepped foot on the earth. EX. 10,000 B.C is before Jesus came and A.D. is the time frame that the world uses after Jesus came.. Well If God didnt exist then the whole world is full of idiots that believe he did so i'm a idiot lol :-)"

 

Got that last part right....

 

The+fuck+did+I+just+read+_01f77a31f7f67ee213901e0ac616f127.jpg

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Here's a peach from my newsfeed tonight.

 

"People have a hard time believing their is a God. But what they dont know is that our whole time frame in life is based on when Jesus stepped foot on the earth. EX. 10,000 B.C is before Jesus came and A.D. is the time frame that the world uses after Jesus came.. Well If God didnt exist then the whole world is full of idiots that believe he did so i'm a idiot lol :-)"

 

Got that last part right....

 

I second the motion that the world is full of idiots. :-) Steve Pavlina says something about that:

 

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/10-reasons-you-should-never-have-a-religion/

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Auuugh I just saw this word for word with a picture of a bible "I believe every word in this book and I don't care if you think I'm an idiot because of it"

 

The lady who posted it is a sweetheart so i don't want to make fun of her...so this just made me sad :(

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Gawd. I've just started a shitfight on FB.

 

A fundagelical and histrionic loony just posted this:

381801_302681716503715_133356281_n.jpg

with this comment: "I agree, 'else' is something and should be recognized, but it's not massage." (Yes, that's what it said...yes, that's a typo...)

 

I said: "Good thing you're straight!" tongue.png

 

I'm almost dreading what's coming from her now........

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Gawd. I've just started a shitfight on FB.

 

A fundagelical and histrionic loony just posted this:

 

 

Can you have some real fun with the christbots and post a picture of your own -- like this one maybe: wicked.gif

(click to enlarge)

 

 

 

Marriage--According To The Bible

 

marriage-according-bible.jpg

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"Portable, affordable power. you can have it every hour. Thanks Mary for reminding us what we have when we hide scripture in our hearts. I can't get this "rap" out of my head."

 

Not even sure what that means

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"I can't get this "rap" psychosis out of my head."

It's a good thing you don't know what this means. It means your mind is healing! smile.png

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"Portable, affordable power. you can have it every hour. Thanks Mary for reminding us what we have when we hide scripture in our hearts. I can't get this "rap" out of my head."

 

Awful confusing to me. Sounds like a Catholic (calling on Mary). Oh well.

Not even sure what that means

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"Portable, affordable power. you can have it every hour. Thanks Mary for reminding us what we have when we hide scripture in our hearts. I can't get this "rap" out of my head."

 

Awful confusing to me. Sounds like a Catholic (calling on Mary). Oh well.

Not even sure what that means

 

She's definitely not catholic. More Calvinist/ reformed presbyterian. Assuming they don't talk to mary I am thinking she must be talking about a friend?

 

I thought we were talking about solar energy until the scripture thing lol

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Gawd. I've just started a shitfight on FB.

 

A fundagelical and histrionic loony just posted this:

 

 

Can you have some real fun with the christbots and post a picture of your own -- like this one maybe: wicked.gif

(click to enlarge)

 

 

 

Marriage--According To The Bible

 

post-3593-0-25170300-1353362532_thumb.jpg

 

 

I like to keep it simple. A Biblical marriage is one man plus all the wives and sex slaves he can afford.

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Gawd. I've just started a shitfight on FB.

 

A fundagelical and histrionic loony just posted this:

 

 

Can you have some real fun with the christbots and post a picture of your own -- like this one maybe: wicked.gif

(click to enlarge)

 

 

 

Marriage--According To The Bible

 

post-3593-0-25170300-1353362532_thumb.jpg

 

 

I like to keep it simple. A Biblical marriage is one man plus all the wives and sex slaves he can afford.

 

wow. thats the simplist, most understated way i've ever heard that put. thanks for that.

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Recent find on a friend's page:

 

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime. But give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with free monthly minutes, food stamps, section 8 housing, a forty ounce malt liquor, a crack pipe and some air Jordans and he will vote democrat for a lifetime. "

 

I'm interested in the free cell phone but I'd rather buy my own food. Not sure why the fundys feel that section 8 housing would be an enticement to not look for a job. I'm aware of the not so wonderful neighborhoods where section 8 housing is located in my town. I haven't heard about the government issued crack pipe program until now but it might be fun. :-)

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"We Can't Have Homosexuals Redefine the Word Marriage!" This from the people who have redefined the word "Relationship" to mean 'Talking to yourself."Wendyshrug.gif

 

Well played, sir. Very well played.

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Recent find on a friend's page:

 

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime. But give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with free monthly minutes, food stamps, section 8 housing, a forty ounce malt liquor, a crack pipe and some air Jordans and he will vote democrat for a lifetime. "

 

I'm interested in the free cell phone but I'd rather buy my own food. Not sure why the fundys feel that section 8 housing would be an enticement to not look for a job. I'm aware of the not so wonderful neighborhoods where section 8 housing is located in my town. I haven't heard about the government issued crack pipe program until now but it might be fun. :-)

 

They don't like it when you point out that the "Obama phone" was started under Bush.

 

Well, technically under Reagan, but it went from landline to cellphone under Bush.

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Recent find on a friend's page:

 

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime. But give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with free monthly minutes, food stamps, section 8 housing, a forty ounce malt liquor, a crack pipe and some air Jordans and he will vote democrat for a lifetime. "

 

I'm interested in the free cell phone but I'd rather buy my own food. Not sure why the fundys feel that section 8 housing would be an enticement to not look for a job. I'm aware of the not so wonderful neighborhoods where section 8 housing is located in my town. I haven't heard about the government issued crack pipe program until now but it might be fun. :-)

 

They don't like it when you point out that the "Obama phone" was started under Bush.

 

Well, technically under Reagan, but it went from landline to cellphone under Bush.

 

I am getting tired of "Obamacare" also when really a bunch of congress people had to vote on it to get it approved. Why isn't it USA care? So ok, we got Reagan-line, Bush-cell, Truman-Nuke or Trumanuke! :-) Hover-Depression....

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This on FB today:

 

"I love it when Jesus says something and then tells me again. I know it is for me to heed and I love it when I feel it is just for me. I know you all have your Bibles and it says it in yours too, but *shrugs, its for me...lol"

 

Aargh. The same person said "by others' fruits ye shall know them." Aargh.

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"I love it when Jesus says something and then tells me again. I know it is for me to heed and I love it when I feel it is just for me. I know you all have your Bibles and it says it in yours too, but *shrugs, its for me...lol"

Reminds me of that Paul Oakley song "Jesus, Lover of my Soul" ("It's All About You")....with a couple of word changes:

It's all about
you, Jesus
meeeeeeeeeeee

And all this is for
You
meeeeeeeeeee

sing_99.gif

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Here's a peach from my newsfeed tonight.

 

"People have a hard time believing their is a God. But what they dont know is that our whole time frame in life is based on when Jesus stepped foot on the earth. EX. 10,000 B.C is before Jesus came and A.D. is the time frame that the world uses after Jesus came.. Well If God didnt exist then the whole world is full of idiots that believe he did so i'm a idiot lol :-)"

 

Got that last part right....

 

You should have rebuked him with righteous authority. Everyone knows that the earth is only 6000 years old, thus making 10,000 B.C. impossible. HE'S A WITCH!

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A false understanding of following Christ causes one of two things, either a person will realize what they are doing isn't real while here on earth or they will be told it wasn't real at judgement. (See Matt 21-23)

 

Without truly deciding to follow Jesus and HIS teachings, one will never understand the beauty of being a child of God.

 

Being a "Christian" will always feel lacking and unrealistic without the knowledge and the action of the teachings of Jesus.

 

 

 

False Christianity forces us to look and rely on humans, rules, and traditions.

 

Followers of Jesus are taught to look to God, give Him our weaknesses, and do the things he calls us to do.

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This on FB today:

 

"I love it when Jesus says something and then tells me again. I know it is for me to heed and I love it when I feel it is just for me. I know you all have your Bibles and it says it in yours too, but *shrugs, its for me...lol"

 

Aargh. The same person said "by others' fruits ye shall know them." Aargh.

 

Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw in a catalog yesterday: "Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite."

 

Summed up the evangelical mindset perfectly to me.

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A false understanding of following Christ causes one of two things, either a person will realize what they are doing isn't real while here on earth or they will be told it wasn't real at judgement. (See Matt 21-23)

 

Without truly deciding to follow Jesus and HIS teachings, one will never understand the beauty of being a child of God.

 

Being a "Christian" will always feel lacking and unrealistic without the knowledge and the action of the teachings of Jesus.

 

 

 

False Christianity forces us to look and rely on humans, rules, and traditions.

 

Followers of Jesus are taught to look to God, give Him our weaknesses, and do the things he calls us to do.

"Christianity is a flawed doctrine that people always mess up and that makes them dangerous to the faith, but I'm not one of those."

 

It's amazing how many rebukes of "false Christianity" (or some derivative) you see made by Christians, but they're always the exception. Both the rebuker and the reader.

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But see how nicely that dovetails with the No True Scotsman? Clearly, if you quit Christianity, the issue was in how you interpreted the religion. Obviously you weren't interpreting it like the TRUE BELIEVER (and we need not wonder where we might locate one of these).

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