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A Bit Befuddled


Dillon
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I haven't exactly posted much on this site for a while, but I have been a member for a short while and a faithful reader for even longer. With that knowledge, I'm sure me not being a Christian comes as no surprise. However, at my school ( a Christian Private School, where I am a senior and have gone there all my life ) I'm struggling a bit with something. I planned on keeping my non-christian ways ( my 'heathen' ways :P ) a secret until I graduated and moved out, so I would not have to deal with the School Administration's watchful eyes and my Mother and Grandmother's grief. Sadly though, I and my ex-girlfriend broke up because I admitted I was an agnostic ( and some other issues, of course ), and afterward many rumors went around about me "Trying other religions" and "being an atheist". This all happened last year and barely phased me. In fact, I laughed at the rumors. One year later, I'm preparing for a vocal competition which is referred to as "All-State" ( some sort of AVA/AISA thing that takes place in Birmingham, Alabama every year), and I'm auditioning for Outstanding Choral Student which would provide me with a musical scholarship, should I win. Well, apparently these rumors have come back to bite me. At the very end of Summer, a friend who has voice lessons with my choir director told me that she had heard the rumors and that she "Would no longer help" me because of it. Of course I was shattered and very angry upon hearing it, because this could be a definite shot at getting a scholarship. I couldn't help but feel...persecuted and discriminated against, almost. Because of that, I confronted my choir director after school yesterday and ended up having to lie to her about being a Christian because, apparently, when we students go off to All-State, we "represent our school" and she can't have a nonbeliever trying out for a solo thing like that if they're going to represent the school. I feel so bad for having to lie, because I intended on telling her the truth and attacking her on this whole "discrimination" thing. I had planned on pulling out the "I guess that what Jesus, would do, right?" thing, but then she told me the school representation thing and I had to lie because I want this scholarship.

 

Anyway, I said all this to say: What do I do? Do I just keep the lie up so I can do this, or is there something I can do about it? I mean, everyone tells me I have a huge chance of winning and, though I'm very doubtful of my abilities, I've grown to believe that and to believe that this could be a huge opportunity for me, and I just don't want to lose it because of something stupid like thinking/believing differently than the school I represent, y'know?

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Christians lie ALL the time. They have lied for centuries and milleniums.

 

You are lieing to get around an unjust discrimination. A useful analogy would be the lies that a victim of domestic violence may have to tell to the perpetrator of the domestic violence. Some of these lies may be just to escaped the domestic violence perpetrator. Other lies could be about whether they are in a new relationship.

 

If the question is not justified, I reckon that lieing is OK. It is all about the imbalance of power.

 

There are quite a few forum members who come to their senses at the end of high school. I always reckon that the best approach for them is to go to a secular university in a different location to where their parents are. Then they never have to talk much about their religious stuff!

 

Glad that you have started to post!

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Christians lie ALL the time. They have lied for centuries and milleniums.

 

You are lieing to get around an unjust discrimination. A useful analogy would be the lies that a victim of domestic violence may have to tell to the perpetrator of the domestic violence. Some of these lies may be just to escaped the domestic violence perpetrator. Other lies could be about whether they are in a new relationship.

 

If the question is not justified, I reckon that lieing is OK. It is all about the imbalance of power.

 

There are quite a few forum members who come to their senses at the end of high school. I always reckon that the best approach for them is to go to a secular university in a different location to where their parents are. Then they never have to talk much about their religious stuff!

 

Glad that you have started to post!

 

There is much wisdom in this post.

 

You know lying is wrong but you have been put in a position which you did not choose which is compelling you to lie for self preservation in the face of condemnation. Telling the truth at this point could very well sacrifice your higher education and your future. Just one question though, music scholarship you say? Would that go to a public university, or religious university? Do you really want to continue to have to lie for at least another 4 years? Where do your parents stand on this matter? Are they devout, do they know about you?

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I'm sure at your private Christian school, any competition requires certain qualifications and the number one qualification is that you are a professing Christian. The actual talent, I'm sure, comes in a distant second to the first qualification. It is a form of discrimination, but the school is a private organization and they are allowed to discriminate on the basis of your religion, including not admitting you into the school if you're not a Christian. I strongly suspect that if you came out as a non-christian, not only would your ability to compete for Outstanding Choral Student, but your attendance at the school might even be in jeopardy. I also suspect that if you came out as a non-christian at school they would have a talk with your mother about it and it sounds like that would be a problem for you at home.

 

I have said all of that to say, I don't see anything wrong with your saying you're a Christian even though you're not. The impact of coming out would go far beyond just your ability to compete but, since you are still dependent on your parents, it could have serious ramifications at home.

 

If that Outstanding Choral Student scholarship prize is sponsored by a Christian organization, then any scholarships might be limited to being used in Christian universities/colleges. I think you may want to stay away from Christian institutions once you graduate from high school. There are plenty of secular choral competitions and scholarships for outstanding choral students. Broaden your horizons and look for them.

 

Here's just one example when I did a quick google search. There are others, too.

 

http://www.unmchoirs.org/home/scholarships

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I'd do whatever it takes my friend. This 'fight' between christianity and atheism is going to go on for a long time. Pretend Christian and get that degree.

 

Then you can thank the imaginary god! :grin:

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I would lie. The alternative is a drawn out discrimination lawsuit that you would likely win, but what a waste of time if you can avoid any damage to your future by continuing to pretend to be one of them. You can stand on principle later in life where it will count more.

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Every time you lie to someone from your school, do it with your fingers crossed behind your back. That means it doesn't count. Sure, it's childish, but so is believing in the Christian God.

 

That said, it was pretty crappy of your choir teacher to make a decision based on rumors about you without talking to you first.

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Christians lie ALL the time. They have lied for centuries and milleniums.

 

You are lieing to get around an unjust discrimination. A useful analogy would be the lies that a victim of domestic violence may have to tell to the perpetrator of the domestic violence. Some of these lies may be just to escaped the domestic violence perpetrator. Other lies could be about whether they are in a new relationship.

 

If the question is not justified, I reckon that lieing is OK. It is all about the imbalance of power.

 

There are quite a few forum members who come to their senses at the end of high school. I always reckon that the best approach for them is to go to a secular university in a different location to where their parents are. Then they never have to talk much about their religious stuff!

 

Glad that you have started to post!

 

There is much wisdom in this post.

 

You know lying is wrong but you have been put in a position which you did not choose which is compelling you to lie for self preservation in the face of condemnation. Telling the truth at this point could very well sacrifice your higher education and your future. Just one question though, music scholarship you say? Would that go to a public university, or religious university? Do you really want to continue to have to lie for at least another 4 years? Where do your parents stand on this matter? Are they devout, do they know about you?

 

If I understand it correctly, I think the scholarship may apply to any school of my choosing within the state. However, I may be wrong, since I know very little of this part of the All-State competition ( I've been auditioning for and attending their "Honor Choir" sort of thing since 7th grade, but this is my first year doing the OCS part ). Since public schools are able to enter in candidates for the All-State choirs and for OCS and for the Outstanding Accompanist, I assume the school of their choosing does not have to be very religious. Also, the competition itself, while there are Christian undertones, isn't all too religious. I don't think you're required to give them any information regarding your beliefs and/or church history. This whole thing is merely about my Private School's flaky image. My parents know nothing about this, due to the fact that if they did, home life would most certainly be unbearable. Neither of my parents are very devout, and nobody besides my choir director and my friends know about this.

 

Also, thank you to everyone for the advice. I'd rather lie to get a chance at winning a scholarship than to tell the truth and have to face dire consequences, such as being looked down upon by the school staff and others, a parental conference, a grievous home life and possible expulsion ( seeing as though I'm sure that's a measure they would go to to keep their "Christian Environment" safe from "people like me" ).

 

As you all can see, this carries the potential to ruin my Senior year, so it's a monumental deal for me. And because of that, I thank you all again for the advice.

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Some people lie and say honesty is the best policy. Others honestly admit their dishonesty. The best policy is the policy that maximizes benefit and minimizes harm for all. Telling the truth would hurt you and wouldn't do the Christians any good. Lying helps you and doesn't hurt the Christians. Lie your ass off if you can stand to do so. I don't think I could stand it. I don't keep things inside that well.

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Sorry for double posting, but I didn't even see your earlier post, Overcame Faith. lol.

 

On that note, you may be right, as I'm not too familiar with the way the AISA ( Alabama Independent School Association ) does things. After doing a quick search, I notice that the majority of schools that attend this are in fact Christian, so this could be more of a Christian thing than I realized. I've just never bothered with learning about it because it was never an issue until now.

 

I'm not too sure what to do here, because this means more to my mother than it does to me. I'm thinking that maybe I should just fail at the audition :P

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Sorry for double posting, but I didn't even see your earlier post, Overcame Faith. lol.

 

On that note, you may be right, as I'm not too familiar with the way the AISA ( Alabama Independent School Association ) does things. After doing a quick search, I notice that the majority of schools that attend this are in fact Christian, so this could be more of a Christian thing than I realized. I've just never bothered with learning about it because it was never an issue until now.

 

I'm not too sure what to do here, because this means more to my mother than it does to me. I'm thinking that maybe I should just fail at the audition :P

 

I think you should do your best at the audition. Think of the pleasure you will have if, as a nonbeliever, you win. We take our little pleasures where we can find them. ;)

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When I attended a xian school my parents and I both signed a contract stating that we (me and them) were all xians and not being so could be cause for expulsion. They could also not transfer my un-filed grades if they chose to do so if this were to happen (meaning my last school year) causing me to repeat the last grade in another school. This same school did try to expel me (for other reasons) and did try to withhold my grades (as promised) but I managed to prevent this from happening (a long story). This alone should be a reason for you to simply hide the fact that you don't believe until after you leave school and get your final grades.

 

mwc

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I can completely sympathize. I graduated in 2010 from a Christian high school that once made headline news for expelling a student because her parents were lesbians. Personally, I stopped giving a fuck sometime around the end of my sophomore year. I was openly atheist, but I also had no friends and very few opportunities to get some hot Christian pussy.

 

My advice would be to keep it under wraps until graduation. Once you get to college/The workforce, you won't see 99% of those people ever again, and you'll be completely over the Christian high school within 3 weeks.

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