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Getting The Fuck Out A Fundy Parents House


Googledotman
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I am a huge follower of ex-Christian.net and often I hear stories about how teenagers and some adults have extremely Christian parents with extreme Christian values. Once they deconvert, they often times don't want to live at their house anymore, and it is suggested by an overwhelming amount of posters that they should leave. Other times, people are in a mixed religion marriage where they don't want their kids to be raised Christian and want to leave.

 

Well, I'd like to pose some questions regarding this. Has anyone ever successfully left a Christian household because of their beliefs? How would you go about making a plan to support yourself? For the younger teenagers who want to leave their fundy parents behind, what advice would you give them so they can make their dreams of leaving their parents a reality? And to those in mixed religion relationships, how do you make sure your children aren't inculcated into Christianity? Do you ever contemplate leaving your spouse because of their beliefs? If you have left your spouse, how do you make sure it doesn't hurt your children or yourself?

 

If anyone has any input, please let me know.

 

Thanks!

Googledotman

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And to those in mixed religion relationships, how do you make sure your children aren't inculcated into Christianity? Do you ever contemplate leaving your spouse because of their beliefs?

 

First a little history. I was raised fundy, went to Bible College, where I met and married my wife. We have 2 boys: 17 and 15. I deconverted last summer/fall, and have started coming out of the closet, little by little. It was quite a weird conversation with my boys when I told them that my beliefs had changed and that I wouldn't be attending church with them.

 

I have made no effort to shield my boys from Christianity since it fell apart for me. For me, it is enough that they know that it fell apart. If and when they start having doubts, I'm hopeful that I will be the one they come to. Christianity has so many intellectual problems that it seems unlikely that they won't start questioning at some point. My thoughts are that basically church is a fellowship with the other teen-agers at this point, and little else.

 

No, I've not thought of leaving my wife. Luckily she isn't one who is big on beliefs and I suspect she will just become aggravated with all the politics and the business that church is becoming, and eventually want to quit herself. For me, the marriage has gone better since I no longer am trying to press her to be what the Apostle Paul said a wife should be, and just letting her be herself.

 

 

 

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CPS should be involved, when any parent tries to force any of Abraham's religions on their or others, children. I was almost kicked out of the house around age 14, for not wanting to go to the brainwash academy anymore. My father hated me for even asking to quit going to church (we went three times a week).

 

On another note, I've always thought it would be nice to get some kind of voluntary "half way house" going for people that need to get away from religiously abusive relationships (mentally and physically abusive). Maybe like a 90 day program to get people started down a good path. While in, they could get started on applying for the school of their choice, while relearning how to live life, out of religion. Of course there is never enough time to teach people a whole life's worth of values and knowledge, so it would have to be a crash course. But it would be a good start for people that have no other choices in life.

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  • 4 weeks later...

On another note, I've always thought it would be nice to get some kind of voluntary "half way house" going for people that need to get away from religiously abusive relationships (mentally and physically abusive). Maybe like a 90 day program to get people started down a good path. While in, they could get started on applying for the school of their choice, while relearning how to live life, out of religion. Of course there is never enough time to teach people a whole life's worth of values and knowledge, so it would have to be a crash course. But it would be a good start for people that have no other choices in life.

 

Something like that actually exists in Las Vegas. But it's for young excommunicated males who've been booted out of the Fundamentalist Mormon Church. I'm not fucking kidding you, they'll excommunicate teenage boys just so that there will be less competition for all that underage pussy, and then they will stuff them in a van, drive them to Las Vegas (which isn't far from where a bunch of them are based), and dump them out on the fucking street.

 

These kids are such backwards ultra-isolated semi-literate Deliverance children that they literally have to be taught things such as "don't say 'nigger' in front of a black person." It's not just the religious trauma, it's the complete lack of social skills and knowledge to make it in the real world outside the compound. It's truly America's creepiest religion.

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There's also a guy who does this, informally, for children who leave Amish communities. I saw a documentary about it recently, "Amish: Out of the Order" on NatGeo.

 

Rumpsringa, which is a recent innovation, has cut down the attrition rate significantly. They were hemmoraging young people all the way up until some genius thought up rumspringa, and now their retention rate is something like 80%. Rumspringa really is a stroke of genius on their part. It's not that the kids get a taste of the world and see it for what it is; in fact, it's because they jump in all naive and they go completely ape-shit, so it only makes sense that they'll go crawling back.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well, for children under the age of 18, there isn't much that can be done unless they can get their parents to agree to let them live with another family member. Otherwise keeping quiet and finding support here and with others of like mind is the only recourse. Work hard in school for good grades and see about getting a part time job. This will help you get into a college of your choice much more easily.

 

For those who have hit 18:

 

1. Line up work first and foremost. Find any job you can to support yourself. If it means scrubbing the bathrooms of McDonald's, so be it. Having a source of income, no matter how small, is paramount to being able to leave.

 

2. Learn how to manage your finances if you do not know how to do so yet. You need to be able to budget for your bills. Also learn basic life skills like how to do laundry, cook, and sew, even if you are male.

 

3. Talk to your friends, start scouring the internet, and look at college campuses for roommates. You might have to end up bunking with 5 other people, but you'll be out on your own. Together you can work out what you need.

 

4. Start thinking of where you want to go in life and work towards it. If you don't want to work at McDonald's the rest of your life, start looking into things you DO like to do and see if you can make a career out of it. Start looking into going to school while you work and star looking into student loans, grants, and scholarships that are available to you.

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