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Hilarious Prayer Requests


VeryBerry
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I am a little bored today, so I decided to read prayer requests on a few Christians websites. Well, Hurricane Irene is supposed to hit my area soon. I made the necessary preparations just in case I have a power outage. I live on the second floor, so I am not worried about flooding. To top it off, there is no way I can party in NYC tonight since most of the major highways are closed, Mayor Bloomberg asks the residents to stay off the street by 9:00 PM, and public transportation is suspended; as a result, I am keeping myself occupied by reading prayer requests on fundy websites. I must say that I have been laughing all night.

I had to share this one. I couldn't resist :lmao:

 

Prayer For Height Increase :

Posted by lars on 8/22/2011 5:36:15 PM - Print This - Email This

 

Hi!

 

My prayer request might sound a little odd, but I would appreciate it if you could pray for me anyway; I'd like to grow taller. I really feel short, so it would be nice if God would give me a couple of extra inches.

I have this Philippino pastor on Facebook, and he told me about some of the people in his congregation - they have been praying for height increase, and have seen people grow as much as 3 inches (Philippinos are short, he said, so they often pray for this). After he told me this I figured praying for something like this is ok, so that's why I'm sending this request. :)

 

Thank you, and God bless

 

This one is just weird. I wonder how Jesus will teach the fiance how to speak. I guess the man will quote Bible verses instead of having normal conversations.

 

Character And Godliness

Posted by Sue on 8/18/2011 4:35:16 AM - Print This - Email This

 

Heavenly Father, I pray that our daughter’s fiancée would speak truthfully, gently, diplomatically, patiently, unselfishly and wisely at all times, keep his word, speak pure, wholesome words, and be reliable and dependable. May he be a godly man of prayer and wisdom who seeks your face, loving you with all his heart, mind, will and strength, putting you first. Help him to be a good listener. Build a relationship of trust, acceptance, respect, love and commitment between us. May we invest time in each other. I pray for your plan to be accomplished concerning the relationship between our daughter and her fiancée. May each of them only marry the person of your choice – the one you have prepared and according to your timing. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

I just couldn't laugh at this one. It's a little sad that this poor woman is trusting a non-existent deity to completely change her f*cked-up situation.

 

Need to get out NOW!

but ben too ill and attacked greatly and this Heat is making me sicker i need to move to my miracle home NOW that the Lord has Promised for me closer to my family whose in Danger & with marriage husbands cheating on her and is out of town with another women right now with my grandson. STOP THIS NOW!

 

Please pray the Evil Wicked plans and schemes of Evil be Thwarted off our lives and SENT BACK TO THE SENDER BACK TO THE PIT WHERE THEY BELONG BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS right now! been claiming this for 11 YEARS In Jesus Name and off my body and property and that these others that are affecting this marriage and my grandsons mind been BE CHASED AWAY CANCELED NULL AND VOID BY YOUR BLOOD! DONT let the devil eat sleep or rest til he gets right with you In Jesus Name i Pray! devil CANNOT TOUCH ME FAMILY OR PROPERTY FUTURE ANYMORE!

 

as this Bro of God prayed for me last night I stand and Hold Strong with those prayers PLEASE BRING HELP GODLY PEOPLE BY OUR SIDE NOW LORD! help me to be the light and draw me CLOSER to family and friends now and get all the help JUSTICE HOME that i need! Dont want to make wrong choices out of deperation BUT I MUST DO SOMETHING NOW! U GOT OUR BACK!

 

I PRAISE WORSHIP AND GLORIFY YOU ALL DAY LONG FOR THE ANSWERS HELP ME TO STAND STRONG PATIENTLY FOR THE ANSWERS LORD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS IS. 54:17! PLEASE HELP ME!heart.gifjesus-sign.gifamen.gifwarrior.gifwarrior.gifwarrior.gifwarrior.gif

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I went in to hysteria watching this!!:lmao: Watch it right to the end!! (That's where the prayer requests are.)

 

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Thanks! I needed a good laugh. When I was a young kid, I'd get up early to watch cartoons and I ran across Jim and Tammy Faye Baker a few times. One time, they were in a tizzy because they needed a van. Lo and behold, someone called in and donated a van. I was amazed at such a miracle. I was too young to know any better so I thought it was pretty cool. Now I think *WOW* What crooks!

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I went in to hysteria watching this!!:lmao: Watch it right to the end!! (That's where the prayer requests are.)

 

 

 

omg marge that was hilarious.

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I ran across Jim and Tammy Faye Baker a few times.

 

You used too light a vehicle.

 

LMFAO!

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I went in to hysteria watching this!!:lmao: Watch it right to the end!! (That's where the prayer requests are.)

 

 

 

I loved it Marge. Even my fundy mother laughed.

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