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How To Give A Christian Spasms


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How to give a Christian spasms

 

Christians often make the following claims

1. The Bible is true

2. Heaven and hell really exist

3. Jesus really lived and came to save us from hell

4. I’ve accepted Jesus so I’m going to heaven

5. If you don’t accept Jesus, you’re going to hell

 

Many non-Christians will argue claims 1., 2., 3. or 5. But why do they so often give claim 4. a pass?

 

After all, several Christian churches say if you belong to the wrong Christian church then you aren’t saved. So why not focus on claim 4. and ask the Christian how they know they’re in the right church? In other words, tell them that THEY are going to hell and sit back and watch the spasms.

 

Here’s an excerpt from a book I’m working on that makes the point in more detail.

 

Christian religions one-up each other. The Catholic Church calls itself the One, True Church and says Protestant Churches “lack the means of salvation.” The Eastern Orthodox Church refers to the “so-called churches of the West.” Baptists say Catholics are going to hell. Jehovah Witnesses say only they are going to heaven. A radio preacher once said any Christian not baptized by immersion was going to hell. (I once wondered how many Christian churches say only they have salvation and other Christian churches do not. After I found seven I stopped looking.)

 

So according to some Christian churches, to get into heaven it’s not enough to believe in and accept Jesus. You must also belong to the proper church. If you don’t belong to the right Christian church then you’re going to hell when you die.

 

I realized recently this means that Jesus failed. Failed in what? In his mission to bring salvation to the world.

 

Why? Let’s imagine an analogy. You’re told the earth is doomed and Jesus, the Great Savior, has constructed space ships that will safely take you to another planet, a wonderful planet where you’ll never be unhappy. So you go to the launching pad and what do you find? You see lots and lots of space ships, some labeled “Catholic,” others “Baptist,” others “Jehovah Witness,” etc. But which space ship should you get on? Opinions differ.

 

Some people tell you all space ships are safe. Other people tell you some of the space ships will fall into the sun, bringing you to a fiery death. There’s a book saying which space ship you should get on, but it’s so muddled people who read it come away with contradictory views. Some people say the book says any space ship will do. Other people say the book clearly says only the Catholic space ship is safe, or the Baptist space ship. Other people say you need a second book to help you understand the first. Some tell you to read the Book of Mormon. Others, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy.

 

You’d like to ask Jesus himself what space ship to get on, but he’s nowhere to be found. There are people who say they’ve spoken to him, but those people are no help because they don’t agree with each other about what he says.

 

It occurs to you something’s wrong. It occurs to you Jesus, the Great Savior, is not such a great savior after all; if he were, you wouldn’t have to guess which space ship to get on, you’d know. You suspect it’s all a scam, perpetrated by space ship builders.

 

So we have the spectacle of the whole salvation drama: prophets, virgin birth, walking on water, painful death, resurrection, and ascension into heaven. But when we come to the bottom line – OK, what exactly do I need to do to get saved, to avail myself of the salvation Jesus supposedly brought to earth? – the whole thing falls apart. As things stand today, you cannot accept Jesus and Christianity; you can only accept a particular brand of Jesus and Christianity. And whatever brand you accept, there will always be other Christians saying you’ve made the wrong choice and are going to hell.

 

More at http://adamford.com/pcr/

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How to give a Christian spasms

 

Christians often make the following claims

1. The Bible is true

2. Heaven and hell really exist

3. Jesus really lived and came to save us from hell

4. I’ve accepted Jesus so I’m going to heaven

5. If you don’t accept Jesus, you’re going to hell

 

Many non-Christians will argue claims 1., 2., 3. or 5. But why do they so often give claim 4. a pass?

This list isn't entirely accurate. The bible doesn't say so much about these particular things.

 

The nifty thing about the bible is that it does say that if you believe that you won't sin anymore. It says so in Paul (Galatians?) and James(?) (these are all off the top of my head). But this is totally and utterly blown off by xians. They see it as an on-going process when it is clearly described as a one-time event (ie. here's this thing and now you're done with the sinning). They also ignore where their "jesus" pal specifically states if you believe you'll get your prayers then you'll get your prayers. No "yes," "no" or "maybe" crap. It's a sure bet.

 

They ignore the good shit because the good shit is the only shit that has repeatedly failed to happen to every person that has tried to get in on it.

 

mwc

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