midniterider Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I was thinking this morning of how hard I tried to have this 'personal close relationship' with an invisible god who was supposed to be my very best friend. I tried so many ways in my imagination to picture jesus at my side or his holy spirit 'engulfing' me, to say and do the right things. I pretended that he was watching me as I studied my bible. The most I always felt so close was in church, when we were singing a slow gospel song to him. How did you guys manage to have a close 'personal relationship' with something invisible? Like every believer has to do, I engaged my imagination. I also felt the 'spirit' move in me while singing the church songs...though other substances provide a better 'spirit.' It is impossible to have a personal relationship with something invisible without a liberal use of imagination. What fascinates me a little is the people who acted as if Jebus was absolutely a real person. These people in church would tell me all about him though I know it was all in their imagination. Still, even with a sense of logic and reason, my mind wanted to believe he was real. It is always an uphill battle because if you don't constantly surround yourself with believers, logic, reason and doubt appear. Your mind eventually tells you, "Pardon me but YOU ARE TALKING TO NOBODY." I feel it is impossible to have a close personal relationship with something that does not exist. I was the only one that did the talking. Jebus never talked back. A personal relationship with Jebus is only an illusion and you have to do mental gymnastics (pretend) to tell yourself that you are having a relationship with someone who is invisible and never talks to you. However Christians are fabulous at making 2+2=5 or 6 or 7 or whatever answer they want. The most I've ever accomplished has been a one-way monologue; me to invisible friend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Many people imagine they have an angel, spirit guide or a god looking over their shoulder. The imagined entity guides, protects and advises. I think it's an extreme form of self talk and visualization, which is normally a good thing when recognized for what it is. I have read of many successful people who imagine a roundtable of famous thinkers discussing the issue at hand. It helps expand one's thought patterns and leads to new ideas. If you are repeatedly told your imaginary friends are in fact real, psychosis is but a few steps away. It is probably best to know that your imaginary friends are imaginary, though they can still be useful. When you fear your imaginary friend might send you to eternal torment forever, that can be unhealthy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 When I believed I had a close personal relationship with a god who turned out to be non-existent, I believed what my mother and the adult authority figures of the church told me, fell prey to manipulation, and just filled in the blanks from there. It was easier to be exploited in a pentecostal church, since they were so skilled in preying on and manipulating emotions. I felt the emotional charge they created and believed that it was the "holy spirit." Eventually, of course, I did exactly the same as you: begged ever so persistently and diligently for god to "show" himself to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 the need to "feel" god for years is what drove me to depreion and the belife that i had no self worth what so ever with out the religion. no matter what i did i couldent get the drug fix that i had felt for like 3 months, i simply wne tot the point of wanted suicide but never had any intention to carry it out. the need drove me for two of the most turbulent years of my life but i wouldent trade it back becuase its the major part that drove me to atheism with the collapse of my faith in christianity. just took me a few moths to relize that christianity wasnt true after the big fall. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I feel God's presence in my spirit. He's not like people though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 The reply that instantly came to mind (but which I refrained from saying) was, "Well, I guess you're right, we definitely need the holy spirit. Just look how it's helped you!" That was pretty funny. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dichotomy Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I wrote a song about this, well kind of. The fact that I invested so much of me in a relationship with someone in my head. I genuinely thought that I could 'feel' Jesus and 'hear' god talk to me. It's hard to describe but he was definitely there. I also think I had some mild MH issues and hallucinations that added to the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notazombie Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 One of my Facebook friends posted this today: Jesus did not die so you could have a religion. JESUS died so we could have a deep, intimate, personal Relationship with GOD through him."he said I AM THE WAY" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AC Skeptic Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 These people in church would tell me all about him though I know it was all in their imagination. This is an interesting point. I was always fairly non-pentecostal and didn't really believe God spoke in very specific terms to people. I was more of a "we must learn God's will from the Bible" kind of guy. So almost always, always, when presented with someone telling me that "God told me thus...", my initial reaction was always "no he didn't." I never said that to them mind you, I would always smile respectively and nod my head, I believed almost none of that. And yet, still, even as I realized that was all in their imagination . . . I still thought I did have some sort of meaningful relationship with this God wherein I prayed and things happened and genuinely my life was influenced by his presence. For like, 20 years. I could so easily see through others bullshit but was so blinded by my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noggy Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 These people in church would tell me all about him though I know it was all in their imagination. This is an interesting point. I was always fairly non-pentecostal and didn't really believe God spoke in very specific terms to people. I was more of a "we must learn God's will from the Bible" kind of guy. So almost always, always, when presented with someone telling me that "God told me thus...", my initial reaction was always "no he didn't." I never said that to them mind you, I would always smile respectively and nod my head, I believed almost none of that. And yet, still, even as I realized that was all in their imagination . . . I still thought I did have some sort of meaningful relationship with this God wherein I prayed and things happened and genuinely my life was influenced by his presence. For like, 20 years. I could so easily see through others bullshit but was so blinded by my own. Exactly. God damn that personal bullshit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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