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Be Still And Know There Is No God


SillyString
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Since I've come to terms with my deconversion, I've had these little moments...

 

Moments where I'm just so content being alive, knowing that I don't have some ghost in the sky watching my every move; moments where I can just be. I don't have to worry about an eternal soul, heaven or hell anymore, I don't have to worry about offending some invisible being. I don't have to worry about what my purpose in life is supposed to be - it is what I choose to make it. I don't have to fear what simply isn't there, what simply isn't real. I can appreciate the things that are real. I see no evidence for a god, and there is a peace in that that I've never really felt before.

 

It feels good to finally let all of that go, and just be me.

 

Just wanted to share. :)

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I have moments like that too - like a big sigh of relief, peace, tranquiity no more mental torment. And relax.......:0)

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It feels so good just to be. I used to think I'd want to die if I found out there was no god. Interesting that life looks so much better without the 'god glasses'. It's never been better!

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One of my "drugs", an addiction I have and a fix I need, is to return to some of the religious forums I used to participate in. Sometimes I go all the way back to KJVO forums, though my own personal crowd has mostly died away, or sometimes to ones discussing Reformed Christianity, though that site is chalk full of people so high on themselves it is hard to slog through. But my number one destination spot, which I am routinely drawn to like a train wreck, is a small private passworded forum of a close nit group of about 5-6 pastors and 2 to 3 other serious fellows. Its a small enough forum I tend to read almost everything that is written. And let me tell you, I am routinely rewarded with very same feeling you describe, namely so happy I no longer have to deal with any of THAT. Holy cow, good luck with that mess. Always having to be worried about the souls of others, always frustrated their tiny churches aren't growing and the Christian world doesn't see the faith with exactly their distinctiveness and having to worry whether this or that is really really god's will. I'm so glad I left all of that behind. It like the feeling when a migraine goes away, pure relief.

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That moment came for me a few weeks after my deconversion. I was still worrying about the whole "what if I'm wrong" scenario. A friend of mine called to try and "bring me back into the fold". She kept on and on about how she was grieving for me. It was in that hour long phonecall that I discovered that I don't have to ever feel that kind of grief again. Every time someone died, she and I would have this whole long drawn out conversation about whether or not they were in heaven. Usually, as a comfort to ourselves, we would conclude that since we never heard that person blaspheme the holy spirit that they were probably with the Lord. Because it's Oklahoma, everyone accepts Jesus into their heart at some point, right? She now grieves for me daily, and guess what, I don't give a shit. :) It's the most cathartic, liberating feeling I've ever felt.... next to having sex for the first time and realizing that there was no shame. :)

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Be still and know that God is yourself - I mean beyond the ego, beyond all that stuff..

 

“If there is a God, he is within. You don't ask God to give you things, you depend on God for your inner theme.”

― Bruce Lee

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