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Hardcore Testimonies.


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I've lost fucking count of the times that they would trot out some former ultra bad-ass to tell all us youngsters how the Lord had turned him into a man of God. I guess at the white churches over in Flyover Country they'd get ex One Percenter bikers, ex ABers, ex Nazis, etc. Out in California where I was we got ex gangstas, ex Mexican Mafia, guys like that. One example comes to mind was Art Blajos, who apparently was a high-up prison assassin for the Mexican Mafia, and there he was... Man of God with Victory Outreach or Teen Challenge (I forget which). Man, I used to jizz my pants whenever I heard such testimonies from such former super mega bad-asses. A combination of vicariousness, titillation, and of "wow, the Lord truly saves!"

 

Fuck, one time they even brought in an ex NSA spook. Though he was only mentioning some incident from his time there [redacted] in order to illustrate some prophecy he was spouting, rather than as a testimony.

 

Anybody know what I mean?

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I certainly know what you mean. One of the guys we used to see all the time used to be in a rock band of some sort. He had done enough drugs that he was pretty well messed up. If you had been a goodie-two shoes like me, then my testimony wasn't that important. I suppose it was because there was no demonstration that God had delivered me from anything.

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Oh, yeah....I know what you mean. A few years ago when my wife joined a fundy church, the pastor wanted to meet with me, as I refused to join the church. He related all these hardcore conversion stories to me, thinking it would make an impression. I told him it seemed to me these people were trading one addiction for another...he didn't like that.

Those stories do play well with the congregation, great entertainment....

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I've lost fucking count of the times that they would trot out some former ultra bad-ass to tell all us youngsters how the Lord had turned him into a man of God. I guess at the white churches over in Flyover Country they'd get ex One Percenter bikers, ex ABers, ex Nazis, etc. Out in California where I was we got ex gangstas, ex Mexican Mafia, guys like that. One example comes to mind was Art Blajos, who apparently was a high-up prison assassin for the Mexican Mafia, and there he was... Man of God with Victory Outreach or Teen Challenge (I forget which). Man, I used to jizz my pants whenever I heard such testimonies from such former super mega bad-asses. A combination of vicariousness, titillation, and of "wow, the Lord truly saves!"

 

Fuck, one time they even brought in an ex NSA spook. Though he was only mentioning some incident from his time there [redacted] in order to illustrate some prophecy he was spouting, rather than as a testimony.

 

Anybody know what I mean?

In this case, badass = ignorant. Gangs, bikers, criminals, etc are prime candidates for brainwashing. They're dumb-shits, which is why they were so 'badass' in the first place. Committing crimes that get people killed and prison is not cool, it's actually stupid. They deserve Christianity.

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I've also heard that a number of people that have the most hardcore testimonies are, at the very least, exaggerating their pre-Christian hardcore badassness in order to make their stories more interesting. After all, what churches are going to have you as a guest speaker and take a special offering for you if your story is, "I used to surf the web for porn and listen to Pink Floyd. Now I'm saved by the grace of God! Hallelujah!"

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Heh. Yeah, I know what you mean. I've often thought about just what sort of a stir I could make with my testimony if I was to reconvert.

 

You could be a star. Reconverting from Atheism is a good way to become popular, sell some books.. make some money. Reminds me of a talented comedian that fooled everyone in the 80's. Mike Warnke told people he used to be a Satanist in order to get big.

 

http://www.holysmoke.org/sdhok/warnke1.htm

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Heh. Yeah, I know what you mean. I've often thought about just what sort of a stir I could make with my testimony if I was to reconvert.

 

Get a good agent and negotiate book deals and offering take percentages up front.

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I remember as a young early teens kid being taken by my youth group to see a touring strong man show where they would break bats over their knees, bend re-bar and rip phone books in half all while spouting the power of Christ...

 

In fact, here's a video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY4-0wYNl1Y&feature=player_embedded

 

 

 

And their website...

 

http://www.team-impact.com/

 

Hmm...seems they also speak at public schools quite regularly.

 

http://www.team-impact.com/reach-your-public-schools

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Heh. Yeah, I know what you mean. I've often thought about just what sort of a stir I could make with my testimony if I was to reconvert.

 

Get a good agent and negotiate book deals and offering take percentages up front.

 

Wow. If it wasn't for a silly thing like a conscience and the inability to live a lie, I would totally be all over that.

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I remember as a young early teens kid being taken by my youth group to see a touring strong man show where they would break bats over their knees, bend re-bar and rip phone books in half all while spouting the power of Christ...

 

In fact, here's a video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY4-0wYNl1Y&feature=player_embedded

 

 

 

And their website...

 

http://www.team-impact.com/

 

Hmm...seems they also speak at public schools quite regularly.

 

http://www.team-impa...-public-schools

 

Dang... why couldn't we have gotten anyone to do that at my christian HS? The best we ever had during chapel was the guy with the backmasked Beatles songs.

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The original phonebook-tearing, ice breaking strong-Christians,, The Power Team!

 

http://www.thepowerteam.com/

 

Oh yes, I remember a friend going and seeing them as well. I'm actually quite curious about these two organization's activities in public schools...I wonder if they are allowed to proselytize during school assemblies?

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The original phonebook-tearing, ice breaking strong-Christians,, The Power Team!

 

http://www.thepowerteam.com/

 

Oh yes, I remember a friend going and seeing them as well. I'm actually quite curious about these two organization's activities in public schools...I wonder if they are allowed to proselytize during school assemblies?

 

They'd do a non-religious school assembly to get ready for the big show at a large church later on. I saw them several times and they always asked for money for way too long during the main show. They appealied to our middle-class Christian guilt pretty well and made a good haul.

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I dated a girl whose father was on one of those "stand strength" teams. He was crushing steel bars on his head during church. I never put my arm around her when he was around.

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I think in the case of bikers, nazi's, etc., it's just a way out for them. Which I understand, if you're in a life that isn't what you want or isn't working for you, then religion might be your only escape route, although I would think you're still marked for life.

 

I was born and raised in Cali also and spent time in both southern and northern Cali, so have known lots of 1%'ers and a few nazi's in my day. But can't say I recall any leaving the life for Jesus. Although about a year ago I was driving from LA to up north and I remember stopping at a Starbucks around Bakersfield and finding about 30 bikers all members of some Christian biker club. They looked like 1%'ers cept for all the Jesus stuff on the back of their leathers :HaHa:

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We didn't have any bikers, but we had rappers in the middle of the ghetto. The rappers weren't actually famous in any way, they were most likely some guy with a small amount of talent trying to get some money and attention. They tried the whole south-park route (cheesy christian music) to get into the music scene. The music was awfully corny but there was usually another guy (always built like a pro-wrestler) with a very deep voice and a story of overcoming poverty, bad messages in modern music and gang warfare that did the sermon. Even though the church preached strongly against secular music, kids couldn't help but to sneak off and listen to the radio. Our youth pastor was actually crying and hysterical because his nephew and a lot of the kids started absent-mindedly singing a lyric to some really popular secular song in the middle of a basketball game after one of these messages.

 

I never considered it would be forced, I always shrugged my shoulders and thought "good for that guy." Still, nothing really sticks out as exceptionally emotionally moving and shocking that I still am able to remember it, and I have a near-photographic memory.

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Yeah I recall similar tactics. I grew up over-seas as a missionary kid. These people were common in that organization. We had former drug dealers, various felons etc... etc... hell my father was one of them to an extent.

 

I have long had a theory that some personality types can't just travel in the "middle" so to speak. They are either on one end of the spectrum or the other. So when they quit being dumbasses they swing dramatically over to the other end of the spectrum, and sometimes wind up missionaries. lol

 

What gets me even more than the embellished testimonies, is the embellished stories of missionaries about their "adventures". In my experience most missionaries are pretty truthful, however there is always that 20% that just make up the most random ridiculous shit with pseudo miracles and whatever.

 

:shrug:

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During and since my deconversion I often pondered whether my life was too good for religion; maybe I'd be more religious if I had been given shitty parents instead of good ones.

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Oh yes, I remember a friend going and seeing them as well. I'm actually quite curious about these two organization's activities in public schools...I wonder if they are allowed to proselytize during school assemblies?

 

No, they just tell you to not do drugs, not have sex, etc. But they do invite you to a "bigger, better" event later that night at the local mega-church. They came to my high school back in '96, I believe it was.

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