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I Feel Like Im Still Waiting


lostman42
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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

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I think I finally realized I had deconverted when I stopped waiting for that really big thing to happen. In every church service, the pastors always talked about how we were on the verge of some great miracle, some great revelation, some great move of God, or even that we were on the brink of "The End Times™" but it just never happened. Nothing would happen during the service or for the rest of the week, and then they would say the exact same things the following week. I finally realized what a bunch of self-deluded liars they were, and gave up waiting.

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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

 

Yes, I know what it's like to feel like you're waiting for something. Although lately I've been realizing that it's mostly been fear.

 

All the time I was waiting on god as a Christian, I was just using god as an excuse because I was too scared to do anything. Now I know I'm responsible for my own life, but I still haven't done very much because I'm still scared. It really didn't have to do with religion in the first place, it's just me being too settled and not wanting to take chances.

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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

 

Yes, yes, yes lost! I can relate. I was told I was going to be another Joyce Myers!! I still think every time I go to the mailbox, there will be a huge check written out to me from 'anonymous'!! This site has slowly taught me a little different. I am now, just now, learning that 'it is what it is' and if I want more - I better get out there and do something about it. My 'magical fairy world' :magic: is crumbling around my feet in the last couple of months and it feels a little sad, but I prefer the reality. Best wishes to you my friend!

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Nope, I always thought anything I wanted I had to organise for myself. I always thought that bullshit from the pulpit was exactly that. All these great things god would do, while I watched people suffer and die from cancer and depression. It was all just hype to me, and in the end I just walked away from the bullshit. I thought the point of christianity was to be honest with oneself and with others. I couldn't see that in operatin in the church, particularly over the past 30 years. In the end it was like an amway meeting, false promises of money (the real god) and bullshit hype to make people talk themselves into unlikely scenarios.

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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

 

 

I was told a lot of stupid stuff when I went to church. Fortunately I was raised by two sceptical agnostic parents who hated Christianity as well as my having a job that produced high levels of cynicism about everything. So I didnt buy into everything about Jesus hook line and sinker...but enough to screw up my mind a while. I suppose biblegod does have a life changing plan for your life. His plan is to lock up your mind and make you afraid to live. But after considering some buddhist ideas though, I don't feel there is any 'plan' at all. Shit just happens. It happens every minute of every day. The great plan, in my opinion is planning on waking up, eating breakfast, doing whatever. I'm guessing that most people (me included) probably ignore the great gift of just being alive while we are concerned about the future. "Jesus' plan for your life" is just the Christian version of this malady of human life that we all suffer.

 

Like Sailor Bob says, "What's wrong with right now, unless you think about it?" There is a lot of really great stuff going on right now that we ignore.

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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

One of the big ways in which Christianity ill served me was that it did not at all properly set my expectations. I am an idealist anyway, and the last thing I needed was unrealistic expectations. In my case it was not so much that I bought into the "next great move of God" BS as that I bought into the idea that good guys always finish first, always have god's approval and blessing and by implication do not have serious difficulties or disappointments in life. Boy, was THAT ever a load of crap. Here I am after all these decades of being a good, decent human being, still getting shit for thanks.

 

I think people buy into belief systems that paper over the unpleasant bits of reality, bits like the weak, flaky connection between effort and reward. To this day I feel way too much annoyance over little things that shouldn't bother me -- or at least, being bothered is pointless. I feel that if I push a button the damn think should Just Work. I feel that if I have something fixed I should not have to fix it again, at least not for a long time. Once I figure something out and deal with it the parameters should not change so that I'm obliged to do it all over again. In other words I'm not just an idealist but a pessimist. My assumptions make sense in an ideal world but are utterly idiotic in the real world in which I must deal. The idealist in me wants everything to be perfect and the pessimist despairs of ever seeing it. The LAST thing I needed (but admittedly the FIRST thing I was drawn to) was a belief system that would support this. Christians are pessimists (people are wicked and venal) and idealists (they should never sin). For me it was a marriage made in hell.

 

This is also the problem with the dream of heaven, AKA Pie In The Sky By and By. What people fantasize about is what they wish the world were like. What a waste of time wishing for every tear to be dried and every boo boo to be kissed. It's never. Going. To. Happen.

 

So yes, quit waiting for things to improve. Instead, do what you can to improve what you can to the extent you can, and learn to live without what is beyond the scope of your influence. I suppose Christianity has that much right (the Serenity Prayer) except for the part about God helping you get your brain where it needs to be. So the proper form is "[insert your name here], you need to change what you can, accept what you can't change, and become wise enough to know the difference".

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best quote related to this

 

 

" You want to change things, get off your knees and get to work." It's been floating around the net lately.

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I was thinking more of:

 

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer. ~Author Unknown

 

mwc

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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

 

 

I received countless prophetic words and was told that God was doing this, that or the other thing. I, too, was WAITING. As Christians (at least as fundies) we are taught more patience than perseverance. "They that wait upon the Lord..." instead of "Those who work hard..."

 

I finally learned that I needed to stop waiting and listening for secret messages from my invisible friend, and start DOING something. I needed to step out and do, rise up and walk as it were, towards my goals.

 

Of course, as an ex-fundy, I needed to establish those new goals for myself, since evangelizing the planet wasn't really on my radar anymore...

 

Have you gone back to school? Have you completed your education? Are you following your passion?

 

Stop waiting. Create your life!

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Have you gone back to school? Have you completed your education? Are you following your passion?

 

Stop waiting. Create your life!

Good advice, although keep in mind that some folks are fully occupied mopping up the shattered pieces of their lives and trying scrape together resources to buy groceries. Not a very creative environment.

 

That said, what a valid point you raise -- Christianity is very passive in all the wrong places (e.g., finding meaning, making change happen) and I would add, very active in the wrong places too (annoying people at their front doors with unwanted intrusive questions about their spiritual (non)beliefs). I haven't really thought much about it until your remark but if it's a virtue for an Imaginary Friend to be "in control of things" and a vice for you to exert any control, no wonder so much emphasis must be put on patient waiting around, because some things are NEVER going to happen if you don't take some kind of action.

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Back when I was a christian I was always told that god had some life changing plan in store for me, so I kept waiting and waiting for the day when it would unfold. I was certain that if I was patient enough god would fix all the problems I was going through.

 

Now even after Ive deconverted I still feel like im waiting for something big to happen. This feeling makes everything else in my life that's happening feel pointless and unimportant. Do any of you feel like this?

 

 

I received countless prophetic words and was told that God was doing this, that or the other thing. I, too, was WAITING. As Christians (at least as fundies) we are taught more patience than perseverance. "They that wait upon the Lord..." instead of "Those who work hard..."

 

I finally learned that I needed to stop waiting and listening for secret messages from my invisible friend, and start DOING something. I needed to step out and do, rise up and walk as it were, towards my goals.

 

Of course, as an ex-fundy, I needed to establish those new goals for myself, since evangelizing the planet wasn't really on my radar anymore...

 

Have you gone back to school? Have you completed your education? Are you following your passion?

 

Stop waiting. Create your life!

I am following my passion, which is creating and playing music, but it's going to slow for me. I'm making progress though, so at least I don't have to feel like I'm completely lazy. :)

 

I guess I'm so used to believing someone else will do it, it's taking a little while to get myself going at a good pace. What I'd usually do in the past is just decide what I'm going to do and then do it. That's how I got a bachelor's degree.

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Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Church programmed me to wait on god, wait for direction, wait for a sign, etc. Our pastors were ALWAYS saying we were right on the brink of miracles, wonders, and world domination, but all that happened was the church got smaller, sick children kept dying, and paralyzed people remained in their wheelchairs.

 

It was all about prophecy, the future, never about now.

 

It helps to have people around you who believe in your ability to make good decisions. My friends encouraged me to move forward with my life and I am so grateful for their influence.

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Fantastic, chosendarkness! I'm all for higher education and really believe it's a strong determinant of health, wellbeing and peace, if not economic benefits. I once saw a video by some church, telling all the young people to not pursue higher education because Jesus might come back and then what's the point?

 

I believe that higher education is one of the best things a person can do. It's worth eating Mac and Cheese for--been there, done that. If there's one thing I'd like to do to help people, it's help them go back to school. Here's a potential slogan for my proposed scholarship fund: "Atheism: Your Life Awaits". LOL!

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ately I've been realizing that it's mostly been fear.

 

All the time I was waiting on god as a Christian, I was just using god as an excuse because I was too scared to do anything. Now I know I'm responsible for my own life, but I still haven't done very much because I'm still scared. It really didn't have to do with religion in the first place, it's just me being too settled and not wanting to take chances.

 

 

 

Same here

 

 

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Have you gone back to school? Have you completed your education? Are you following your passion?

 

Stop waiting. Create your life!

Good advice, although keep in mind that some folks are fully occupied mopping up the shattered pieces of their lives and trying scrape together resources to buy groceries. Not a very creative environment.

 

Hi, DesertBob,

 

Too true. Access to education can be complicated with other things in our lives. Well stated. I had to go back to school as an 'adult' because Christianity had previously told me evangelizing was more important than getting an education. I was so zealous I listened and actually believed that perspective. It is my dream to be financially able to sponsor people's higher education, especially people who have a lot going on or who were ripped off by the church the first time around.

 

Take care!

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Access to education can be complicated with other things in our lives. Well stated. I had to go back to school as an 'adult' because Christianity had previously told me evangelizing was more important than getting an education. I was so zealous I listened and actually believed that perspective. It is my dream to be financially able to sponsor people's higher education, especially people who have a lot going on or who were ripped off by the church the first time around.

That's a worthy goal. Best of luck to you.

 

I think it may have been someone on these forums who pointed to a Christian teaching or quote to the effect that higher education was a snare of the devil. I can't say it was viewed that negatively by my tribe but it certainly was not an emphasis and was considered an area with many snares for the unwary. And understandably so, because who wants the sheeple thinking for themselves, eh?

 

Then there are the kids who get an inferior quality education at a "Christian" college. Accreditation doesn't guarantee you're going to get a high quality, objective education. So even some who got the sheepskin were short-changed.

 

Then if you get the sheepskin you might be short-changed in the life skills / expectations department. Christianity is the gift that keeps on giving :-\\

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For myself it was not just waiting, but striving to reach some sort of higher spiritual plain and seek gods will. I don't know anyone that got there, but according to preacher man, it was just ahead.

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Then if you get the sheepskin you might be short-changed in the life skills / expectations department. Christianity is the gift that keeps on giving :-\\

 

LOL! Yes, the gift that keeps on giving, alright! The seeds I have sown continue to sprout....

 

All the best!

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Fantastic, chosendarkness! I'm all for higher education and really believe it's a strong determinant of health, wellbeing and peace, if not economic benefits. I once saw a video by some church, telling all the young people to not pursue higher education because Jesus might come back and then what's the point?

 

I know what you mean. I met a kid that was taken out of school by his fundie mother in 8th grade to home school him, but she never did it. He missed all of high school and wasn't even homeschooled. Even worse, the kid is exceptionally smart. He asked his mother for money to get a GED, but she wouldn't even do that. I tried to encourage him to start working so he could pay for his GED classes, then maybe go to college. but his mother found out and banned him from ever talking to me again. Trashy parents that are fundamentalists is a terrible combination.

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