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Do You Still Feel Guilty About Things?


Chikirin
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For me, some things have changed, some have not. As a Christian I'd feel guilty for not tithing, but that no longer applies. But I stil feel guilty for messing up at work, or saying something dumb, which is invariably.

 

Its as though "God" or my conscience is still there in my head, which is okay as long as it doesn't leave me in a heap of despair for my imperfections.

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For me, some things have changed, some have not. As a Christian I'd feel guilty for not tithing, but that no longer applies. But I stil feel guilty for messing up at work, or saying something dumb, which is invariably.

 

Its as though "God" or my conscience is still there in my head, which is okay as long as it doesn't leave me in a heap of despair for my imperfections.

I think a lot of the things that we feel guilty about on a regular basis are part of an evolved, hardwired, response mechanism that helps humans maintain behavioral and social norms. This is probably at least partially where the notion of a god that can read and judge our thoughts came from to begin with.

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Chikirin

 

I know what you mean. I have had to work very hard to get out of this habit. Sometimes a legalistic background can make us hyper-critical of ourselves.

 

One thing I do is a little self talk, especially after I've flubbed something up or said "the wrong thing"

1. Did someone die as a result of my mistake? No.

2. Was I mean or unfair? No.

3. Was I good intentioned? Yes.

4. Was the product of my work more than 80% good? Yes.

5. Am I human and subject to err? Yes.

 

Then, I move on and make deliberate efforts to forget.

 

Hopefully we can display the same grace to others for their shortcomings as we would like shown to our own. After all, I do believe everyone is trying their best.

 

All the best.

 

Peace.

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For me, some things have changed, some have not. As a Christian I'd feel guilty for not tithing, but that no longer applies. But I stil feel guilty for messing up at work, or saying something dumb, which is invariably.

 

Its as though "God" or my conscience is still there in my head, which is okay as long as it doesn't leave me in a heap of despair for my imperfections.

I think a lot of the things that we feel guilty about on a regular basis are part of an evolved, hardwired, response mechanism that helps humans maintain behavioral and social norms. This is probably at least partially where the notion of a god that can read and judge our thoughts came from to begin with.

Trapped,I was going to say about the same thing .Chikirin, I think 'not being good enough'' and the guilt we suffer over this, has been in us, probably for a long, long time. Part of the evolving human animal... having to 'prove' to others how strong, perfect and powerful we are!! Then we 'fail' according to how we 'think' we 'should' be - and feel guilt!

 

I also like what Positivist said. Good stuff!

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Guilt is normal. It's even useful to an extent. It can motivate us to not repeat mistakes, and when practical, to make amends for mistakes we've already made. But it's only useful to the extent that it accomplishes those things. Religion, of course, causes us to feel useless guilt for things that are not even wrong. Most useful guilt is short lived and not very intense, especially once you're at peace with the fact that you're simply an animal - that parts of your brain work against each other when making decisions, and it's a matter of biochemistry as to which part wins.

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I feel guilt occasionally. I always have. It takes me when I am somehow more sensitive, hence more vulnerable. Then I start reflecting on people I care about and how I fail them somehow.

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Yep. I felt guilt today for enjoying some microfiber towels, bath sponge and some play jewelry for my kids. Sounds silly but I've been so conditioned to "build up my treasures in heaven" and how we should leave our homes and everything in them to follow jesus if he ever came asking us to follow him, etc...that Ive' felt bad every time I ever liked or enjoyed something new. I have always helped others so it's not from that and we do have the little extra to spend here and there. It's the "materialistic" part of it and what was drilled in to my head.

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I never feel guilty about anything.

 

Never have.

 

I think that's because I typically don't do things that I think are wrong, and if I don't do something that I think is wrong, then there's no guilt to feel.

 

I think religion tries to make us feel bad about ourselves and the things we do (although I don't think feeling "bad" and feeling "guilty" are the same), but at least in my case it was ineffective in making me feel "guilty".

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i feel giuly sometimes when i lie or steal (ussualy dont) but i think that comes from partialy biochemistry and respect for others. but stupid stuff like not tithing is simple religious programing.

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