If There Is A God, I'm Mad At Him

[bcarr519]

Hi everyone. I'm sure you can tell that I'm new here. I've been very frustrated lately, like many of you, because I have been a "good Christian" for the majority of my life. Sure, I'm not perfect, but I've been attending church since I was born; I'm 25 now. I constantly work on my flaws. I study enough to know what flaws I need to change and I'm honest enough to know that I need to change them.

 

I have been married for 4 years, and in that time my husband, who is the main breadwinner in our household, has now lost 1 job and has been laid off of his current job. The first time this happened we lost our house. Now here we are, less than 2 years later, in the same position. The bible says that Christians don't have to worry about food or shelter because God will give them to us, but I have been worried more often than not. We have already lost a house, so what's next? Our cars? Our apartment?

 

The only sense I can make out of any of this is that God is either a liar, or there was no God making empty promises in the first place.

 

I would say that I am currently on the fence between Christianity and atheism. After some poking around, it seems like God doesn't do much to help us back onto his side of the fence. I'm basically to the point that most of you have been: asking God to help, but not really expecting much.

[Yask]

I remembered that old poem, "Footprints in the sand", when my dad died in a home Hospice program. I sat there looking out his bedroom window at the traffic in the distance. Cars speeding to their destination, oblivious to my world breaking just yards away. And I thought with the most intense sense of clarity, because that poem before had only been a fleeting thing, that the real reason there were only a single set of footprints in the sand was because the poet was walking alone.

 

It was from that moment on that I really started to look at what my parents had believed, and my dad most of all, about god and Jesus and the faith that he held to it's promise as he looked forward to better in Heaven, than what he'd suffered as cancer in this life.

Before that I'd simply decided the faith didn't speak to me as fully as it should have and so I'd left years before that. However, in that moment I reckoned more as to what I believed and what I knew my dad did and yet he suffered horribly until death gave him salvation.

 

Now, I figure if a higher power exists it's beyond lower consciousness' comprehension. And if it is at all good it must believe in me, right here where it should know where I'm at. Instead of me accepting I'm less than worthy of it's attention and hoping to find it so as to prove I'm willing to work at being worthy.

 

Welcome to ExC. You're not alone here. Not even in what you have felt and shared in your journey to this moment. (HUGS)

[Discern]

But Jesus says "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light"! If that's not your christian experience, then it must be your fault, not His!

 

It's funny how every failing of God is always your fault for not having enough faith or not being holy enough.

 

Yeah, I got sick of all my answers to prayer being no different than chance, coincidence, or luck. At the end of the day, any benefits I got in life could be traced back to chance or simply my own efforts. It wasn't God that got me the job, it was my friend emailing me the advertisement, and me putting in the effort to send in a resume. There was simply no evidence that God ever got involved in the process.

 

Then when you desperately need an answer from God, like "are you even real?" The heavens are silent. He sure doesn't put any effort in to save his own beloved children from rejecting him.

[bcarr519]

But Jesus says "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light"! If that's not your christian experience, then it must be your fault, not His!

 

 

Indeed.

 

I also agree that it has been me who did everything to get a job. It was me that applied to 15 jobs, not God. Nothing has ever fallen in my lap, I have worked hard for everything I've ever owned.

 

I just got off the phone with my mom, the devout Christian, who said I haven't given it enough time. In my experience, time does nothing but allow us to run out of money, in effect letting us run out of food or rent money. About a third of our money is extra per month, and more would be if we weren't young and still paying car payments. All of a sudden, it was our fault because we weren't living within our means. Here we go, it's our fault again.

 

I'm not sure if anyone watches the Harry Potter movies, but Christains remind me of Luna Lovegood, just walking around in their own little world that makes sense to no one else.

[SillyString]

Welcome bcarr519!

 

When you take off the god glasses, things suddenly begin to make sense. Dealing with life is hard, but it's a little easier to cope since I'm not trying to figure out what some invisible god wants me to do.

 

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. You've come to the right place, and I hope we can help you figure things out.

[mymistake]

Yeah, I got sick of all my answers to prayer being no different than chance, coincidence, or luck. At the end of the day, any benefits I got in life could be traced back to chance or simply my own efforts. It wasn't God that got me the job, it was my friend emailing me the advertisement, and me putting in the effort to send in a resume. There was simply no evidence that God ever got involved in the process.

 

Then when you desperately need an answer from God, like "are you even real?" The heavens are silent. He sure doesn't put any effort in to save his own beloved children from rejecting him.

 

After reading some posts here and getting some new ideas my last few prayers have been:

 

"Have I been praying to my own superego this whole time? Have I been praying to myself?"

 

And each time God answered:

 

( ) Yes

( ) No

(x) Wait

 

It feels a bit like the old kids toy "Magic Eight Ball".

 

The other day when I was running my dishwasher I asked myself if God has the power to wash dishes. For the first time I pondered that perhaps I can do something that God cannot do. Maybe God can't do anything at all.

[Kaiser01]

i feel you, i would pray and pray and never get any answer and it eventualy drove me to atheism. the idea that god will always take care of you is a security mechanism amoung christians, it is by your action you will help yourself dont worry about praying to a god who feels like he has to torture people.

[Ouroboros]

It feels a bit like the old kids toy "Magic Eight Ball".

Except that the "Magic Eight Ball of God" only has "No," "Maybe," "Later," and "Wait." There's no "Yes" in there.

[midniterider]

Hi everyone. I'm sure you can tell that I'm new here. I've been very frustrated lately, like many of you, because I have been a "good Christian" for the majority of my life. Sure, I'm not perfect, but I've been attending church since I was born; I'm 25 now. I constantly work on my flaws. I study enough to know what flaws I need to change and I'm honest enough to know that I need to change them.

 

I have been married for 4 years, and in that time my husband, who is the main breadwinner in our household, has now lost 1 job and has been laid off of his current job. The first time this happened we lost our house. Now here we are, less than 2 years later, in the same position. The bible says that Christians don't have to worry about food or shelter because God will give them to us, but I have been worried more often than not. We have already lost a house, so what's next? Our cars? Our apartment?

 

The only sense I can make out of any of this is that God is either a liar, or there was no God making empty promises in the first place.

 

I would say that I am currently on the fence between Christianity and atheism. After some poking around, it seems like God doesn't do much to help us back onto his side of the fence. I'm basically to the point that most of you have been: asking God to help, but not really expecting much.

 

Before I was a Christian, some good things happened and some bad things happened. As a Christian some good things happened and some bad things happened. Before I was a Christian if something good happened I'd say, "Lucky me." As a Christian, when something good happened I would say, "How blessed I am." But really, what was the difference? Only my own point of view.

 

God, being your own imagination, has only the power of your imagination. This isn't to say that you are powerless. Imagination is pretty powerful and harnessed with logical thought can solve problems! You could ask both god and your imagination what your next course of action is and I bet you get identical answers.

 

I am guessing you will be asking friends and family for help until conditions improve. I wish you well.

[mymistake]

Except that the "Magic Eight Ball of God" only has "No," "Maybe," "Later," and "Wait." There's no "Yes" in there.

 

The Christians who indoctrinated me said that God gives only three answers - yes, no and wait. And they did keep stories going of the times when someone prayed and happened to get what they wanted. Those are hailed as the great examples when God answered and the answer was "yes". Coincidence happens and they would pounce on the opportunity. Those stories could be kept floating around for years. "See - sometimes God does say yes!"

 

So I was bombarded with these rumors to take my mind off the fact that so often the results of prayer are cold silence. They also built this whole steaming pile of doctrine about waiting on the Lord. God's wiz-dumb is infinite and us mere mortals shouldn't question it. God's testing us. God is building our faith or our patience or some other nobel character in us. The times not right. A day is to the Lord as is a thousand years . . . and all the rest of that rot. It keeps people from looking at the success rate of prayer.

 

In reality when a problem gets solved a human solved it.

[Discern]

Before I was a Christian, some good things happened and some bad things happened. As a Christian some good things happened and some bad things happened.

 

Yeah, for about 4-5 months before I became an atheist, I had all but given up in prayer because I was so sick of the ambiguous nature of the God I served, and I wanted tangible evidence he actually existed. The only prayer I prayed was basically "If you're real, I need you to show me". Aside from that, I didn't pray a thing.

 

After going from every day in prayer, to five months of no prayer at all, you know what happened? Nothing. Nothing happened to me that was any different than when I prayed every single day. I had ups, I had downs. I had blessings, I had problems. According to my fundamentalism, my whole world should've been crashing down around me - without prayer, my life should be in shambles! But it just reminded me of some of the only good advice Jesus gave: It rains on the just and the unjust alike.

 

My "Magic Eight Ball of God" had been exposed.

[Margee]

Welcome bcarr519! Well you certainly have come to the right place to voice all the negative opinions you want. You are 'home'!! I am sorry you are going through this - it is completely normal. Sit and read a lot of the posts. They contain so much wisdom while deconverting.

 

It takes time to accept new truths. You are gonna' be alright! Stick around.... I'd love to hear more of your personal journey!

 

Sincerely, Margee

[kclark]

But Jesus says "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light"! If that's not your christian experience, then it must be your fault, not His!

 

 

Indeed.

 

I also agree that it has been me who did everything to get a job. It was me that applied to 15 jobs, not God. Nothing has ever fallen in my lap, I have worked hard for everything I've ever owned.

 

I just got off the phone with my mom, the devout Christian, who said I haven't given it enough time. In my experience, time does nothing but allow us to run out of money, in effect letting us run out of food or rent money. About a third of our money is extra per month, and more would be if we weren't young and still paying car payments. All of a sudden, it was our fault because we weren't living within our means. Here we go, it's our fault again.

 

I'm not sure if anyone watches the Harry Potter movies, but Christains remind me of Luna Lovegood, just walking around in their own little world that makes sense to no one else.

 

I love the Harry Potter reference! That is so true! Sorry that you're going through such a tough time right now, with bills and whatnot. I'm young and broke too, so I can relate lol. To me, the waiting on God/God will provide mentality is one of the most destructive parts of Christianity. Anything good that happens to you, "Gawd did it!" and anything bad that happens is either the Devil's or your fault (most often yours, since you fell into temptation). Believing God would "fix" everything kept me running in circles (and in the closet--I'm gay by the way:) for years. Like some other posters said, it wasn't until I stopped praying that I really saw that life, with it's ups and downs, good times and bad times, still operated in the same way it did when I was on my knees every night.

 

Prayer is a celestial crapshoot. And you always end up rolling snake eyes.

[Positivist]

Hello bcarr519! Welcome to Ex-C.

 

I'm saddened to hear of the troubles you are experiencing. It must be so frustrating and frightening to have so much going wrong all at once. Unanswered prayer is one of the things that nudged me off of Christianity's cliff. I grew tired of the mental contortions to believe how the bad things in my life are because of sin or a hyphenated last name, and further contortions to believe that all things are for 'good' for those who love God. What I am experiencing right now can only be explained through a complete absence of God.

 

I wonder if your husband or you can return to school to gain a little more security. Sometimes there are unemployment programs that re-train. Just a thought, and if I'm off base, please forgive me.

 

Anyhow, great to have you here on Ex-C!

 

Peace.

[Guest lilbman]

YOUR POSTS ARE NOT ACCEPTED IN THIS PART OF THE SITE! READ THE RULES!!!

[mymistake]

Hi. I am a Believer in Jesus Christ. I know what you are going through and I can personally testify that GOD is faithful to His Word.

 

What is your personal testimony worth?

 

I'm guessing you have no objective evidence that God exists, that God cares about us, or that God provided any kind of "God's Word" to us. I expect that all you have is your own personal convictions and a feeling of certainty. Nearly every other religion on Earth has those things too. Maybe feeling certain and having conviction are part of being human and do not at all indicate that a given religion is right or true.

 

But if I am wrong and you do have objective evidence then by all means demonstrate.

[Guest lilbman]

This is the section for testimonies and the rules do not allow Christians to post here.

[mymistake]

You will not find the proof you require by searching in a forum. Your proof will come by faith in Him and by Him alone.

 

I understand that you might find this hard to believe. People like to bring up all of the worlds religions but what they fail to recognize is that all religions stemmed from a certain point in history.

 

If people would study what Jesus Christ had to say thoroughly, they would understand that Jesus was against organized religion and in fact, can set you free from it and other things as well. It's not a contest, it's not a game, it's the truth in it's purest form. Love.

 

If you want to know the truth, you must do things His way. It's not about religion, it never has been. It's about Jesus Christ and Him reconciling all things back to GOD.

 

When did Jesus Christ ever ask you to give Him one penny? Did Jesus take money from anyone? In fact, whose did He say it was?

 

Can you tell me what Jesus Christ said about what kind of religion pleases The Father?

 

When does religion stop and faith begin? Did Jesus Christ teach Faith? Yes, He never taught religion. He rebuked those who were religious. Those who would heap loads on the shoulders of other but wouldn't lift a finger to help them theirselves.

 

Jesus gives an inner peace that the world doesn't know. And when you realize this, you will understand. This doesn't mean that it will be easy or that you will never face hardship. But comforting, to take heart and to know.

 

Jesus even said if a man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine. Whether it be of GOD, or whether I speak of myself.

 

But people aren't listening.

 

Your faith is something personal between you and GOD. It's a relationship. Communication goes both ways. If you are putting real faith in GOD, then you will get an answer.

 

But if all you want to do is play church on Sunday and tip GOD on your way the door. Why even bother.

 

Where is your heart? Your sincere faith in Him? Have you ever acted on your faith in Him or do/did you just believe and that was it?

 

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to make a personal decision between your faith in GOD...?

 

When you set your faith in motion, GOD sees that. That means you are trusting Him to do what you are putting faith in Him to do.

 

No one else, just Him. And He is capable. Does this mean that we get everything we want? No

 

Only in accordance to His will and good pleasure. And there is good reasons for this as well.

 

-So it was exactly as I said and you have no objective evidence. You testify to things when you yourself do not know what you are talking about.

 

-Of course I realize that all religions stem from a certain point in time. One day a hominid was born with a mutation that allowed him or her to have the mental capacity for religious thought. Prior to that the species lacked the ability. The change gave this person a breading advantage (perhaps their mind was hard wired to find cause and effect) so the change was preserved and over time all humans inherited it.

 

-I have studied what the Bible claims Jesus Christ said thoroughly. That is why I am an ex-Christian. If I hadn't studied the Bible so much I might still be fooled. Oh and right now I am free. I know the difference. Being Christian isn't free.

 

-Your "do things His way" comment is nonsense. Jesus isn't saying anything here. You are trying to get people to do things your way by speaking on God's behalf. It's not valid. If an all powerful being was actually trying to communicate with us it wouldn't seem so imaginary.

 

-Nobody can tell what Jesus actually said about anything. We don't have any reliable words from Jesus. The best we can do is make an educated guess about which sayings in the Gospel of Thomas might be the oldest. It's still not guaranteed to be the actual words of Jesus. Too many early Christians kept changing what "Jesus said".

 

-The average Buddhist has a similar (or perhaps a better) inner peace. Did they get it from Jesus?

 

-I'm listening. It's your message that is flawed. That isn't directly your fault. You are just repeating what you heard. You didn't invent your religion or it's flaws.

 

-The relationship isn't. You say communication goes both ways but it doesn't. The promises the Bible makes about this life are false so the book cannot be trusted regarding claims about some possible afterlife.

 

-I go to Church on Sunday for social reasons. Christianity puts a lot of unrealistic expectations on families. It has nothing to do with God.

 

-My heart is in the center of my chest. Wrestling with the flaws of Christianity and then de-converting was a long and difficult road filled with painful emotion. I was a fundamentalist Christian all through the 1980's and 1990's. I was on fire and completely into it the whole way. I did everything an average Christian of thirty years has done. I volunteered my time and rose to the position of department head. And yes I had all kinds of experiences with faith like what you mention. They are not the answer.

 

-What I want is a world that makes sense where people are not born with horrible disadvantages and don't suffer from horrible fates. Clearly I will never get that because our world is random and doesn't have any deep meaning.

 

You still have not provided any objective evidence that shows there is a God, that God cares about humans or that God provided us with any messages from God. You don't have any. Without that you don't know what you are talking about. All you have is beliefs and beliefs are not knowledge. So when you testify about these things that might be imaginary that isn't worth much.

[Guest lilbman]

Read previous edits

[Positivist]

• I can personally testify that GOD is faithful to His Word.
  
• If people would study what Jesus Christ had to say thoroughly...
  
• If you want to know the truth, you must do things His way.
  
• Jesus gives an inner peace that the world doesn't know. And when you realize this, you will understand.
  
• But people aren't listening.
  
• If you are putting real faith in GOD, then you will get an answer.
  
• Does this mean that we get everything we want? No. Only in accordance to His will and good pleasure.
  

 

Go back to your psych ward. You are talking gibberish in the name of Christianity.

 

The other thing you are doing is insulting most people on this site who have done all of the things you say, and "GOD" (all capitals, in your style) has left us high and dry. Clearly, you have not been there.

 

Your psychiatric delusions are sustaining your belief.

[buffettphan]

 

Hi. I am a Believer in Jesus Christ. I know what you are going through and I can personally testify that GOD is faithful to His Word.

 

I too have been mad and frustrated. I can relate with you and the emotions you are going through. I have been there and I am thankful to still be alive.

 

Please do not compromise your faith in Jesus Christ. Is faith ever tested?

 

Have you ever heard the song Amazing Grace?

 

Please read the lyrics carefully. And try and understand.

 

God has not left you nor forsaken you.

 

Be awake.

 

 

The rules for posting in this section are quite clear.

This Testimony forum is not the place for a Christian to post.

 

 

2. Please refrain from posting anything that might be seen as evangelistic. There should be no witnessing, no proselytizing, no offers of prayer, no suggestions for "taking issues to God," etc…

http://www.ex-christ...ction=rules&f=5

 

 

TAKE YOUR BARBARIC PSYCHOTIC LIES AND GO AWAY.

[mymistake]

Like I said mymistake, You probably won't find the proof you desire in a forum. I understand where you are coming from. It's not like I too have never been mad or frustrated. I have asked the same questions you have probably asked, more or less.

 

I'm not convinced that organized religion is exactly what Jesus was teaching. Right?

 

I don't think you understand the problem. You act as if your beliefs are knowledge. Yet unverified beliefs are not knowledge. I asked you if you have the evidence you need in order for you to know what you are talking about. Clearly you don't have evidence you need. So how can you testify that God does anything? You make lots of assertions about spiritual matters but really they are just beliefs you hold. If somebody is facing real problems you have no business telling them to waste time, energy or resources simply because you have a belief. I don't have a problem with your personal religious views. I have a problem with you presenting them to others as if they are verified knowledge (". . . I can personally testify . . . ") I think it would be better for you to start with "I believe . . ." that way it's clear that it all comes from you and has no substance.

 

This isn't unique to you. It is a systematic problem with Christians and the reason many of the people here had de-converted. If some group believes in Santa Clause and they have a book of fiction about Santa Clause that is fine as long as they keep to themselves. But Christians want to tell everyone else how to live. Christians try to make others hate themselves. Since Christian beliefs are contradictory they have no business causing grief for others. And for those who have tried everything Christianity has to offer the sales pitch just sounds silly.

[florduh]

Welcome, bcarr519!

 

One thing you WILL find on this site is Christians who will tell you that you just never got the correct teachings; the REAL Christianity works!

[DT761138]

Hi.

 

I'm going to play "Devil's Advocate" and suggest you not abandon faith just yet, simply because it might be a mistake for you personally. Dig deeper into your religious and spiritual values.

 

I think I left the Church because I was angrgy at people as much as I was angry at God . I was angry at the image of God they present. Anyways, religion is not a panacea, God is not a panacea, there's so much more to life that you need to work on other than "just pray". Even the Christian bible itself says you can be a good person and have bad stuff happen to you... look at Job, look at Jesus. We simply don't live in a world where God must answer prayers just because you are a "good person" and do everything right. What that means, i don't know . But stop drinking the Kool-Aide of people that promise a religious life will be an easy life.

 

I'd recommend two books. The first is "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner. And then I'd recommend also Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, its a good book to read when you are faced with tragedy and left only asking "Why?" and "How do I go on living?"

[Sissi71]

Dear Bcarr,

 

I understand so well you diappointment. You know why it never happened ?? because the bible is fake !!

 

Like in my life, Jesus never healed while the bible shows that he never refused to heal people...

 

@Libmann : I know so well this bla bla bla....

 

can personally testify that GOD is faithful to His Word.

 

--> So why do you think most of us left christianity ????

• If people would study what Jesus Christ had to say thoroughly...
  

-->I had time in 20 years....he man was just a jerk and a liar....

• If you want to know the truth, you must do things His way.
  

--> like people who follow blindly a guru ?? and refusing to see the incoherences in his behaviour !!

 

Jesus gives an inner peace that the world doesn't know. And when you realize this, you will understand.

 

-->I had the worst years of my life : more anxiety after the "effect of the drug" ended and I realized the lies in the bible. I really have an inner peace SINCE I left Jesus and christian faith. I healed of an emotional pain...

• But people aren't listening.
  
• If you are putting real faith in GOD, then you will get an answer.
  

-->..never after 20 years of being brainwashed....should I wait until my death ??

• Does this mean that we get everything we want? No. Only in accordance to His will and good pleasure.
  

-->How do you want to do his will when there is no coherence in Jesus ?? Wake up !!