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What To Do With 10+ Years Of Journals That I Wrote In


Chikirin
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Was any one else a big journaler? I have a huge garbage bag full of them, I'd burn them in the yard but the neighbors would probably complain of the smoke.

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Why not read through and see how far you've come from the first journal unto the last?

 

Another thought is, self-publish them. You could always change some details so as to keep a measure of personal privacy. Publish as a dramatic fiction or some such. Lulupress.com, is a self-publishing house. Like unto Cafe Press and Zazzle, they do all the work of publishing and promoting for a percentage.

 

Just a thought. :)

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To me it comes down to whether your journals contain personal information, thoughts, etc., that you would not want someone to get their hands on. If that is the case, then consider destroying them or taking other measures to ensure they are secure and safe from uninvited eyes. If there is sensitive personal information and you decide to destroy them, do not throw them in the trash. Destroy them so the information is accessible to no one (burning, shredding, etc.).

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Hi Chikirin

 

I'm just in on this now.... I used to journal extensively when I was going through my "on fire for God" phase. As my faith was fading I read through all 4 volumes to try to bolster my faith. It didn't work. I've been thinking it would be neat (interesting?) to start a thread here on Ex-C where people can post particular excerpts from their journals and briefly reflect on what it meant then and what it means now. I am fascinated that I could believe as I did back then, and now that has completely dried up. It's like I have lost the actual capacity for faith.

 

I keep my journals in a locked cabinet in the basement. They are part of who I am/was. I've lost enough as a Christian so don't want to burn these too!

 

Thoughts?

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I have an extensive blog from 2003 onwards. I've done a couple of journals as well. I wouldn't want to get rid of either. I rather appreciate having both as a sort of map of who I was and how I got here. The progression is laid out pretty clear.

 

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I was never a regular journaler (went through phases), but I've enjoyed reading through my old ones every now and then. I've simply held on to them, if I ever feel the need to remove them from my shelves, I'd simply discard them in some fashion.

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As my faith was fading I read through all 4 volumes to try to bolster my faith. It didn't work.

 

 

 

My "on fire for God" phase was for a couple years, but especially for one month in particular, when I read it now, the only word I can think to describe it is "manic." I was certainly whipped up into almost a frenzy. For about ten days straight, and I know this because I have it all written down, I would go to bed smiling crazily and wake up that way. I've never had another period resembling anything like it. But alas, what goes up must come down.

 

I'll post some excerpts, if I can stomach to sift through it.

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...the only word I can think to describe it is "manic." I was certainly whipped up into almost a frenzy. For about ten days straight,...I would go to bed smiling crazily and wake up that way. I've never had another period resembling anything like it. But alas, what goes up must come down.

I hear you. In one way, my faith was a stabilizing force in my life during that 'manic' period of my life. Later on in my life it became a de-stabilizing force. Interesting. Wendyshrug.gif

 

I may cough up an excerpt or two as well. It is fascinating from a phenomenological perspective....

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In one way, my faith was a stabilizing force in my life during that 'manic' period of my life. Later on in my life it became a de-stabilizing force. Interesting.

 

Same here. At one phase, religion helped, and at another phase, it was nearly the death of me.

 

Still have my old writings. I went through the major and minor prophets, writing some commentary on them. I think there is a few prayers that were written at low points. I've read them occasionally and think "Wow! How I have changed."

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Chikirin,

A friend of mine recently went through a bunch of her old journals and then burned them. It was very cathartic for her.

You may find that you'd like to save some things if you do go through them.

 

She said she burned them one at a time, with books open and her writing facing up, and that it was interesting how the fire took the pages.

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it just occurred to me that burning stuff is so typically Christian. Maybe I'll submerge them in a vat of water till they dissolve, just to do the opposite. yellow.gif

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I have several journals from when I was a Christian, and while I havent been comfortable reading them yet, I have decided to keep them. Im not going to erase who I was. Even though I am not a Christian anymore, it was still a huge part of my life, and it has continued to affect who I am today. I like learning and growing, and seeing where I have come from. All of our experiences help shape who we are, and in a way, Christianity was a part of shaping who I am. The parts I dont want, Im learning to grow away from, but even that growth process is part of who I am. Its my story. All of it. And I dont want to lose that.

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it just occurred to me that burning stuff is so typically Christian. Maybe I'll submerge them in a vat of water till they dissolve, just to do the opposite. yellow.gif

 

Baptizing is rather Christian too. ;) Maybe just shred them.

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I was an avid journaler as an xtian. After I deconverted, I looked back through my Christian journals and couldn't stomach them. I threw them out with the garbage. I think I have enough disturbing memories from my days as an on-fire Pentecostal that I won't need any help remembering. The more I can forget the better!

 

Now, my blog entries from my deconversion period are fascinating and I've saved them to a flash drive for safe keeping. Those are fun to read.

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I'm a journaler, too. In fact I posted one of my entries yesterday (my first post here on the forum). I plan to keep mine and maybe use some of the contents in a future book or blog. I think that things we write in a journal are really accessible to others b/c they are usually our most authentic feelings/thoughts in that moment. I guess for me, they almost feel sacred - even if what I was writing was coming from a place of deception or delusion. But I would only want to share that stuff with others in a context that would be beneficial to them - otherwise it's just the rantings of a crazy woman. ;)

 

But at the same time, we all have our own way of processing things. For you, trashing (or drowning) your journals might be more therapeutic. You could always toss them in a vat of acid!

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I've been journaling since...seventh grade. I don't do it as much these days, largely because I enjoy life and have friends to talk to when things get rough, but in middle school and high school, my journals were my only way of speaking my mind. (I also have blog that allows me to exercise my interest in writing..) Fortunately not a lot of religious talk appears: for me, religion always felt like an act, even when I took it seriously, but its artificiality kept it from my journals. Reading through some of mine is hard, but I wouldn't dream of getting rid of them. I'm only concerned about what will become of them in the advent of my death -- there's stuff in my dozens of notebooks that I wouldn't want read without me there to provide context and damage control!

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