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I Need Help In Dealing With Fundy-family And Their "miracles"


buffettphan
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Last week, near my home, a severely autistic 8-year old boy disappeared while on a hike with his family in a Civil War Battlefield Park.

 

The good GREAT news is that he was found safe on the 6th day after he went missing. The bad news comes in the form of this email message I just received from my daughter, who was one of the thousands of volunteers during the search.

 

Before I talk to her, I need to vent and I need some advice. I don't want to come across cold, arrogant, emotional, bitchy, or anything else negative. But right now, I'm steaming and I want to smack some sense into her (figuratively). She and all the rest of my family, including my husband, are robots-for-jeeeezus and they will all be using this incident to try to sway me back into believing. I will be seeing her in a couple of days, and I need a plan so that when she brings this up, I won't roll my eyes at her and tell her how stupid I think she is in believing that "god" had anything to do with anything. I'm sure she believes that "jesus put it in her heart" to volunteer -- as well as in the hearts of all the other bible-belters who volunteered. Yet she/they didn't find the little boy. Also, a friend of hers who was one of the official rescue workers coordinating the search told her earlier in the week, off the record, that the cops suspected that the father had "gotten rid of the boy".

 

Here's the email.

 

 

 

On Sunday a Hanover County Deputy spoke at our Church. He was part of the search and rescue operation to find little Robby. He told us the real story of what went on behind the scenes.

 

A man from another county was having breakfast with his wife Friday morning. They were talking about Robby and how the weather was supposed to take a turn for the worse that afternoon. They talked about how Robby would not make it thru the night. The man felt a tugging at his heart to go and pray. So he did. While in prayer the Holy Spirit told him to go and look for the boy. So he did. He stopped by a store to pick up some gloves and other items that he thought might be helpful in the conditions he would be searching in. When he finally got to the volunteer station he was told that he would have to wait and go thru training. The man said I don't have time. I need to go now. So he got back in his car and drove himself to the sight where Robby was lost. He found a house not too far from the park and rock quarry. He pulled into their driveway and began to pray again. He asked God to show him a sign if He wanted him to go and search on his own. He looked up from praying and saw a line of volunteers walk in front of him and into the woods. So he got out and rang the doorbell to ask if it was okay to park there. They gave him permission. He went on to search. He hopped over a barbed wire fence and continued on a short way. He came to a gully or creek and looked down to find little Robby in a fetal position with his eyes closed. He leaned down and put his hand behind his neck. The little boy immediately opened his eyes and looked right at him. The man called 911 and told them where Robby was. Of course when the police got there they immediately questioned this mans story like a lot of us would. After all they (the professionals) had been searching for 5 or 6 days with high tech equipment and well trained dogs! And they had searched that very same spot! So immediately an investigation was launched to find out if this man was telling the truth or was he hiding something. The police questioned the man, his wife, the salesperson, the other police at the volunteer sight and the homeowner who gave him permission to park . The only conclusion that they all could come up with was that the man was telling the truth. And as some of you might of seen on the news the Hanover Sheriff said "There is a God and He answers prayers". The man said he did not want his name to be known because it was God that knew where little Robby was and it was God who found him!

 

God is amazing! He truly can work bad things out for good! He used the disappearance of a young, innocent, autistic boy to show us how we should rely on Him and not our own understanding! I'm sure there were many policeman and rescue workers who had doubted the existence of God. But because of little Robby and the man who obeyed the Holy Spirit they now have proof that will have to be pondered in their heart!

 

 

 

What I most want to say to her is that since she believes this shit, she believes in a disgusting, despicable god who uses "the disappearance of a young, innocent, autistic boy" to do his dirty work for him when all he really has to do is simply say to each and every one of us, individually or collectively (via TV, Internet, whatever) "Here I Am" and perform some kind of awesome miracle to take away all doubt. You know, something along the lines of all the starving people throughout the world are suddenly full and healthy... And all wars have ended and everyone willingly, peacefully shares all the earth's resources with one another.... Should be something simple for The One True God...

 

 

Thanks for reading this and letting me vent. I appreciate any advice, comments, good one-liners, or other suggestions.

 

 

Keeping peace in the family can be exhausting. Sometimes I just want to completely disappear and get away from all these nuts forever.

 

-------------------------------------------

Story links:

 

http://www2.timesdis...ver-ar-1414910/

 

 

This one is the video where (approx 1:15) the sheriff says "Whether or not it's appropriate for everyone. There is a God. He listens to prayer. And prayers were answered."

 

http://video.timesdi...istic+boy+found

 

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Maybe I should have posted this in a different section. Although it is a rant, I don't want any comments from christians and I think they may be allowed to post here. grrrrrrrrr

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I wouldn't be harsh about it however I would respond by saying if god was great he wouldn't have let an autistic boy go missing in the first place, much less for 6 days so that not only he in his condition, but his parents lived terrified thinking the worst because it took 6 days for the true miracle workers to achieve the blessing for Robby's family by finding him safe and sound and bringing him home!

 

While, god simply watched!

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If I thought I was going to be confronted and it would get nasty, I would probably do some research and produce a listing of STILL missing boys and girls - going 20 years back or so.

 

Where was God for them??

 

However, I don't have children and I live alone so maybe I can't give good advice on this.

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Deva has a good point. Somebody is undoubtedly praying for every missing child, but many have nevertheless been found dead or not at all. God's success rate seems to be somewhat less than even chance would dictate considering that all missing children have people praying for them to be found alive and healthy.

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I would do both of the above, mention the other thousands of missing children as well as the ridiculous nature of the event as a "witness" of God's power and goodness. Of course, the problem is that for any Christian, you can't question God because he's God and his ways are higher blah blah blah. I would just mention the two points, and leave it at that. There really isn't much value to arguing it beyond that.

 

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Maybe when you see your daughter you could grasp her hand, bow your head and say, "Dear Jebus, I'd like to thank you for leaving an innocent autistic child out in the middle of no-where for 6 days while you painstakingly misdirected emergency workers and search and rescue people so the child would continue to be scared out of his mind and thinking that he was going to die. Thank you god for giving this child hypothermia, hunger and thirst and any other injuries. Thank you lord for putting worry and dread in the hearts of the searchers, family, extended family and friends, especially those who were too far away or infirm to be able to help but wish they could have.

 

But why did you have to let those other people who go hiking in the mountains near my home get lost and die? Or drown in the river. Or get shot in the 'hood.' Or ... Or....

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I concur with Deva, Florduh, and the rest. The problem with these sorts of so-called *miracles* is that the faithful look on each incident in isolation. It's really easy to see the miracle in this case if you look at no others. But if you look at all of the similar cases where young people, old people, etc., go missing for any length of time, they're bound to find a few here and there - it was this kid's lucky day. OTOH, a perfect, intervening god would be able to find them all.

 

Furthermore, what does that say about the prayers of those faithful who pray for weeks/months/years for loved ones who never come back, or who show up dead? Does god not care about them as much? Did they not pray hard enough? Did they not pray the right way? Are they Dispensationalists rather than Pentecostals? Are they Preterists rather than Premillenialists?

 

Protestants rather than Catholics?

 

Nazerenes rather than Lutherans?

 

You can see it's just a slippery slope all the way to mush-brained nonsense like the Law of Attraction.

 

Frankly, I'd probably question the guy who found the kid again. If he had him hidden for six days, contriving all that crap on the final day wouldn't have been all that difficult.

 

Or maybe the guy just had a gut feeling that turned out right. Maybe he knew the topography and that a kid with no wilderness sense would probably travel downhill continually into a basin rather than holding direction onto higher, harder-to-traverse ground. He might attribute that gut feeling to god, not realizing that he was using his own instinct, self-generating a little ecstasy, especially when *proven* right.

 

Anyway, best of luck. It's tough to be the lone dissenter...

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Thank you all for your comments and recommendations. I agree, 100%, with all of you.

 

This morning after reading my daughter's email, I guess I was feeling a bit vulnerable -- not to mention pissed! My first impulse was to send her a two-word reply -- "Confirmation Bias" in big bold letters, but she would either not understand or respond with "god's ways are not our ways...blah blah blah...."

 

If the opportunity comes up, I will work all your comments into the conversation with my daughter. I don't really care about her beliefs anymore. But she and her husband could make it rough on me seeing my grandchildren -- and that's what makes me sick.

 

I have no one in real life to discuss this kind of stuff with, so from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU all for "listening" and helping me out!

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If I thought I was going to be confronted and it would get nasty, I would probably do some research and produce a listing of STILL missing boys and girls - going 20 years back or so.

 

Where was God for them??

 

However, I don't have children and I live alone so maybe I can't give good advice on this.

 

Thanks, Deva. Your advice is spot on! Before I see my daughter later this week, I will definitely google "still missing children from the past 10-20 years" and go armed with facts. I'm sure there will be quotes from distraught parents who are still praying for their missing children.

 

I guess they weren't special enough for god to give a damn...

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I think the least God could have done would have been to work His magic a few days sooner.

 

Exactly. I think I'll also say that some evidence of god would have been that within an hour of his being missing, Robby would have walked out of the woods, speaking his first words ever -- cured of autism. No wait, maybe if there was a god, there would be no autism. Nawwwwwww -- that's too much for a fundy-brain to fathom. Wendytwitch.gif

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the problem is that for any Christian, you can't question God because he's God and his ways are higher blah blah blah. I would just mention the two points, and leave it at that. There really isn't much value to arguing it beyond that.

 

Yeah, xtians think they're entitled to having their cake and eating it too, don't they? You really can't argue with someone who is so pig-headed and close-minded.

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Last week, near my home, a severely autistic 8-year old boy disappeared while on a hike with his family in a Civil War Battlefield Park.

 

What I most want to say to her is that since she believes this shit, she believes in a disgusting, despicable god who uses "the disappearance of a young, innocent, autistic boy" to do his dirty work for him when all he really has to do is simply say to each and every one of us, individually or collectively (via TV, Internet, whatever) "Here I Am" and perform some kind of awesome miracle to take away all doubt.

 

 

 

buffett, this above ....you said it!!

Breatheeeeeeee......... rolleyes.gif best wishes to you!!

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Maybe when you see your daughter you could grasp her hand, bow your head and say, "Dear Jebus, I'd like to thank you for leaving an innocent autistic child out in the middle of no-where for 6 days..... < snipped >

 

Oh, you don't know how much I'd love to do that!!! If I didn't think she'd keep my grandchildren from me after that prayer, I would -- in a heartbeat! Maybe in about ten years from now.... GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

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Frankly, I'd probably question the guy who found the kid again. If he had him hidden for six days, contriving all that crap on the final day wouldn't have been all that difficult.

 

I wondered about that too, especially since there have been four reported attempted abductions in surrounding counties recently.

 

 

Or maybe the guy just had a gut feeling that turned out right. Maybe he knew the topography and that a kid with no wilderness sense would probably travel downhill continually into a basin rather than holding direction onto higher, harder-to-traverse ground. He might attribute that gut feeling to god, not realizing that he was using his own instinct, self-generating a little ecstasy, especially when *proven* right.

 

That's for sure -- especially around here in the south where 99+ out of 100 are bible-belters.

 

 

Anyway, best of luck. It's tough to be the lone dissenter...

 

Yes, it does get lonely sometimes. Thank Dave for this website and for you guys!!!!

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buffett, this above ....you said it!!

Breatheeeeeeee......... rolleyes.gif best wishes to you!!

 

Thanks Margee. You are always so encouraging!

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http://sparkaction.org/node/223

 

8,000 - 10,000 children a year are never found.

 

The article didn't equate found with alive either.

 

So god led someone to find 1 out of 8000......better odds are given at the casino.

 

 

 

Another site for information

 

http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2810

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Buffetphan:

 

While it's tempting to come up with a snappy or clever comeback, I'd suggest you just let it go. Come here to vent and rant where you'll get support, but don't start WW III with your family. You'll accomplish little and just make things worse than they are already.

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He used the disappearance of a young, innocent, autistic boy to show us how we should rely on Him and not our own understanding!

 

 

The whole email too long to read fully right now, but I did read the last paragraph. I am sickened with rage at this statement.

 

When it comes to prayer beliefs, I usually fall back on kids-with-cancer or the unfound children the others have mentioned. I don't know about your daughter's beliefs, but have you asked her why everything has to have a divine purpose? What makes some people so dang special that a helpless child would be put through that experience for little more than a "heartwarming" story. Why can't things just happen because they happen?

 

Meh. Go Parrotheads.

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I live in the Bible belt too, so I can relate to your situation. Reminds me of an email I got once from my cousin, where she said that a woman was walking late at night in a bad part of town and got home safely. Then, another woman walked the same path a few hours later and was raped by a man hiding in a sidestreet. When police investigated they asked the man why he didn't rape the first woman. He replied,"Because two men were with her---one on each side of her." Of course, the first woman said she was praying for angels to protect her, and obviously God sent two angels who appeared to the rapist, but were otherwise invisible (People actually BELIEVE this crap?). Then the first woman went to the hospital to comfort the second woman.

 

Now, when I got that email, I got really angry. I wrote back to my cousin that if I were the woman who was raped, I'd be really pissed that God didn't protect ME and that the 1st woman had the nerve to come visit me with her story of guardian angels. Where were the second woman's guardian angels---on a coffee break??!! Oops..... (BTW, my cousin still loves me, but no longer sends me those types of emails!)

 

These kinds of stories really disturb me because I cannot believe that people are so ignorant that they cannot see the bigger picture. The story I just related actually COMFORTS some people---go figure!

 

Anyhow, I'm with "older"---I say just to let it go. Your daughter will NEVER understand your viewpoint and you will just be using up your energy for a battle you cannot win. Good luck!

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Hi buffetphan!

 

I have heard this line of thinking so often! When my family uses it I want to tell them to do themselves a favor and at least base their faith on firmer ground! I usually don't, though, because truth and family don't often mix. I agree with the general consensus to try to let it go, but I can definitely sympathize. When conversations take this sort of turn I quietly leave the room.

 

The question that immediately came to mind (that hasn't been directly addressed yet) was this: if your daughter was in the search party, wasn't she praying, too? Weren't 99 out of 100 searchers letting the Holy Spirit guide them? Maybe a personal evaluation will sink in more than statistics. People aren't prone to bouts of logic at the best of times, and this seems to be a very emotional experience for her.

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Thanks for those links, stryper. Very informative. And sickening. I guess god is just too busy saving front-row parking spaces at Walmart for his 'favorite christians' to bother with saving the lives of innocent children.

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He used the disappearance of a young, innocent, autistic boy to show us how we should rely on Him and not our own understanding!

 

The whole email too long to read fully right now, but I did read the last paragraph. I am sickened with rage at this statement.

 

 

 

 

That statement made me sick too. Every time I hear or read anything along those lines I want to either puke or punch something.

 

 

...but have you asked her why everything has to have a divine purpose? ... Why can't things just happen because they happen?

 

In her warped mind, everything "works for the glory of god".

 

Go Parrotheads.

 

Now that's one thing I can say AMEN to! beer.gif

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Buffetphan:

 

While it's tempting to come up with a snappy or clever comeback, I'd suggest you just let it go. Come here to vent and rant where you'll get support, but don't start WW III with your family. You'll accomplish little and just make things worse than they are already.

 

Yeah, you and the others who recommend I let it go are right. That's pretty much what I've been doing for 25 years. I was just sooooo steamed after reading that email the other morning. Again, thanks for listening and for all the support. I really appreciate it.

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These kinds of stories really disturb me because I cannot believe that people are so ignorant that they cannot see the bigger picture. The story I just related actually COMFORTS some people---go figure!

 

 

 

That's probably one of the things that bothers me the most about christians. When they start blathering on with their stories, in my mind I see them screeching "It's all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Case in point -- My sister lives in Tuscaloosa, Alabama where much of the town was destroyed by a tornado a few months ago. When I finally was able to get in touch with her, the first thing out of her mouth was "I'm so blessed. My kids, my home, and my business are completely unscathed." I so wanted to ask her how many thousands of her fellow townspeople were not feeling quite so blessed at that particular moment. There just seems to be no end to their egos.

 

 

Anyhow, I'm with "older"---I say just to let it go. Your daughter will NEVER understand your viewpoint and you will just be using up your energy for a battle you cannot win. Good luck!

 

 

That's what I'm planning to do. Thanks.

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