Guest chuangtzu Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 When I was a child, I asked the same questions of my parents as I’m sure most children do- “Well, who made God, Mommy?” “Why does it say ‘thou shalt not kill’ and God killed all those people?”. I of course received answers I found to be unsatisfactory. I took it to heart. I found at a very early age that I did not believe the things I was being taught to believe. Of course, as a child of 9 or 10, I was afraid to speak up and say, I didn’t believe it, so I did what every other person does- I hid my doubts and felt inadequate and abnormal for not “fitting in”. Because of my alienation, I became a stern evangelical type. Looking back now, I know this was triggered by my disbelief that I had locked away for so long and a sense that somehow by convincing someone else that this was right, perhaps I could convince myself. But, it never worked, and I sunk ever deeper into darkness. By the time I turned twenty, I drank heavily, and was riddled with guilt by my weak and sinful ways. I felt that I had betrayed and hurt God, and the only thing I could do was wait until punishment was handed down to me. It’s funny how it works. You know you don’t believe, yet you feel so guilty for not believing that you turn to some outside stimulus to cover up the pain. When I wasn’t evangelizing, I was drinking. Then, a very good friend revealed to me that he had been reading and studying up on Eastern Philosophy (Taoism in particular). He never preached to me but we had many open debates on the subject. Finally on his request, I bought a copy of The Tao Te Ching so I might way it against the foundation of my own beliefs. I will never forget the day I read “The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao”. This was about ten years ago. I never won a debate with my friend, and our ways have long since parted. I kept that little book by my side, though. I’ve devoured it many times over, and fell more and more in love with the gentle philosophy contained within it. Recently, I have made the conscious decision to stop calling myself a Christian, and I have been shocked at the attitudes that Christians display. I guess I sort of had blinders on, but I never really realized how extremely bigoted and terrible the Christian religion is. I am happy to report that thanks to my study of The Tao Te Ching, I quit drinking a few years back, and now, have the courage to step forward and say “I’m not a Christian”. I realize now that there were many people I offended in my evangelical days, and wish I had some way to take it all back. But, perhaps I can in someway institute positive change elsewhere to make up for the hurt I left behind. Thanks for reading! Glenn P/S, Great site and forums!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I realize now that there were many people I offended in my evangelical days, and wish I had some way to take it all back. But, perhaps I can in someway institute positive change elsewhere to make up for the hurt I left behind. Thanks for reading! Glenn P/S, Great site and forums!!!!! 103340[/snapback] I have to admit I am a little embarassed about the way I preached to my friends. The quote reminded me of how embarassing I got. Oh, boy. Anyway, welcome to the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Glen, Welcome to Dave's House and Exc. Pull up a seat and feel welcome to join in. kevinL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Welcome! I hope that this site helps you out. I treasure the philsophy in the Tao Te Ching as well... but I would not call myself Taoist. It is just merely interesting and seems to be a good way to view the world, if any religion is to prescribe a way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Welcome, chuangtzu! I appreciate eastern philosophy as well, even tho I'm a die-hard atheist. There is ore wisdom there than in the whole of the bible, IMO. Anyway, glad to hear you got out from under god's thumb! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 Hey welcome to the site. I don't know if I would call my self a Taoist, but I really like the Tao te Ching and a lot of eastern philosophy, Confucius and such. Great to meet you, I for one will enjoy hearing about your experience with the Tao. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chuangtzu Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Hello, everyone, and thanks for your replies. Looking forward to corresponding with everyone soon. Glenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I will never forget the day I read “The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao”. 103340[/snapback] I remember the first time I read this phrase too. It was just about a year ago, and it brought me up short. I don't have a name for my belief system, but I relate very much to Taoism. Welcome to the Ex-C. It's a great group of people here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Welcome! I read the Tao Te Ching shortly after deconverting. I consider myself agnostic, but I respect the philosophy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Hi, chuangtzu. The Tao Te Ching is one of my favorite books. Much better as a guide than anything the abrahamaic religions can produce. If I must call myself anything, and that is a big if, then I could call myself Taoist. Philosophical Taoist, certainly not religious. However, at this point I am happy just calling myself "me". Glad to meet you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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