Sissi Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I am very happy to join ex-christians. We probably left christianity for differents reasons...I will try to summarize my testimony. Well I started to join "born again christians" when I was 18 and in the beginning it was so nice. I had some spiritual needs, people looked so nice. It was like a new family. Then all my friends were there, I had few unbelievers friends ..I fellowed different churches in 20 years like pentecostal, evangelical...And I did not realize that I received more and more a bible brainwashing. All seemed so true. People said it was the truth, Jesus would provide all my needs. You know what ? Nothing happened with that !!. Then I started to feel anger in me and now I know it was my small voice that said that something was going wrong..but as soon as you start doubting your "new family" says that you must trust Jesus, he takes care of you, you mustn’t listen to the devil which try to keep you away from faith...and as soon as you have more and more struggles, you pray and you pray...you wait one year, five years and more....and finally my health got worst, I started to have more phobias and fears that developed...Oh my friend you just have to pray, this is the devil...well in 2006 I started to open my eyes after having been with a group in a house, because my emotional health got worst. I really and truly think that if you do not revolt you cannot go out of a brainwashing. Christians put pressure they will say that if you are anger it is a sin, you must confess and forsake it. All is done to keep you with the group and in the fear. They will use difference sort of manipulation and fear is the best weapon. In another side, you are like in a cocoon...because you also live intense relationships, you pray with others, you have “new friends”. They give you a so dark image of the world, people are lost, you not....and you feel more and more like another world. You feel disconnected with your family which is not “saved”. They put pressure about the end of the world, the rapture of Jesus and you truly believe that. All seems sooo true : look the world the devil is everywhere… It took 5 years to really understand I was in a circle after it triggered in my mind for the first time : revolt-spiritual needs and I fellowed traditional churches and the biblical doctrine came back in my brain-struggle-no answer to my prayer-revolt.. Now I know I must be very careful but one thing is absolutely true : I could never agree the bible and the beliefs. It is absolutely true that bible is not true. Some christians proclaim miracles, but I was a witness that it is not always the case : I went to the funeral of a baby who died despite all the prayers, and when you see a small coffin this is something you can never forget it, I met a woman in a past church who died also although all the church prayed for her. In fact, doctors explain very well that some people can suddenly heal of a disease without prayer. Miracle can happen but not only in Christianity. If you tell them that they will say that the miracles are demoniac or satanic, if for example it happens in another religion or belief. I have been so disappointed, I lost 20 years of my youth years but now a new life is starting for me. I knew this state of euphoria. Today for me, Jesus like a guru that blew “ cold and warm “(threats and love)....I wasted time for a man that has never been a good man, or so caring for me. But after a while I realized the life is drawing me to another belief that is mine. It takes a lot of time to let all brainwashing go out. Now I feel free. I encountered loneliness but I am so happy to know different people , I can laugh for everything and anything. This is not the case when you don't think yourself anymore. All this world of Christianity and most fundamentalist, etc... is a mirage. People believe to illusions. Most of them have been taped when they were vulnerable. I know people that have been brainwashed very quickly: one or two weeks. When you listen to them they have like another personality that is not their personality. They speak with a monotone voice, like if they learned a text by heart...All spontaneity has just gone excepted for their "new belief"...I never had a guru in a church but Jesus was shown like a guru. During all these years I just encountered incoherence with the Jesus in the Bible. Nothing happened. Do not think because the bible speaks about love, forgiveness that is a good book. It is a trap. If this booked talked only about threats and sins I think nobody would like to read it. But it is a trap because there is a mix of nice and bad things and there is nothing better to bring confusion. This book in fact teaches guilt and when it is time to let all brainwashing going out, you understand why. Fear of hell or to loose my salvation left me after many months. Sometimes it happens that the doctrine tries to keep me back because it takes time to recover. Today I am just happy and feel lucky because I know that very few go out and have courage to go through the bad time of going out : after a while and euphoria when you find your own thoughts again, many go through a depression like me. But it is worth wile. It costly but after a storm the blue sky is there again. The most dangerous is when you loose all your criticism state and every time you try to confront people try to keep you mouth closed with fear. But life is there, I am healthy and now I can move on. 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freeasabird Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Thanks for sharing your story, welcome to the forum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perfessor Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I feel for ya! I fell in with some born-agains when I was hurting. I ended up hurting worse because everything bad in my life was my fault. God only does the good things. This particular group said everything outside the bible's teaching was of man and not to be trusted. Well......I asked then why do they have a wedding ceremony that's not in the bible. In fact, the bible does not say HOW people got married at all! You could hear the nuts and bolts falling out of their respective skulls with that question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yask Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 "FREEEEEDOMMMMMM!" Braveheart moment there. Welcome to the forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 But life is there, I am healthy and now I can move on. Congratulations on your new freedom. Welcome to ex-C! MM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 ...It was like a new family. Then all my friends were there, I had few unbelievers friends... ...a bible brainwashing. All seemed so true. People said it was the truth, Jesus would provide all my needs. ...as soon as you start doubting your "new family" says that you must trust Jesus, he takes care of you, you mustn’t listen to the devil... ...I started to have more phobias and fears that developed...you just have to pray, this is the devil... ...having been with a group in a house... ...Christians...say that if you are angry it is a sin, you must confess and forsake it. ...All is done to keep you with the group and in the fear. They will use difference sort of manipulation and fear is the best weapon. ...you are like in a cocoon...because you also live intense relationships, you pray with others, you have “new friends”. ...They give you a so dark image of the world, people are lost, you not....and you feel more and more like another world. ...You feel disconnected with your family which is not “saved”. ...pressure about the end of the world, the rapture...the devil is everywhere… ...they will say that the miracles [outside of Christianity] are demoniac or satanic... I'm so glad you are with us at Ex-C! Welcome! I wanted to highlight some of the key pieces from your extimony. The points you made are the signs of a cult. I am so glad you have escaped! I wish more people knew this. Here are some of the signs of a cult: Central authority in a single, charismatic leader who has prophetic gifts or position of authority given by God. Excessive control. Members are willing to do unusual or dangerous things if the leader deems it necessary. For example, foregoing medical treatment because “God will heal you”. Strict control over lives of members, including how their time is spent. They will have little or no time to think for themselves because of physical and emotional exhaustion. There may also be constant and repetitious teaching on "being obedient to leadership". Members look to their leaders for guidance in everything they do. Separation from contacts outside the group (family, old friends). This limits the chance of intervention. The group represents the only correct path to God or truth. Everything outside of the group is dangerous and corrupting. Living in communal isolation Large required donations (money or material wealth, but also time and “ministry” acts). Conformity and subjection of individual desires and thoughts to the group. Independent thought is a sin or simply incorrect. They adopt a “group think” mentality. They must accept what they are told by those in authority. Punishment for leaving or criticizing the group. For example, leaders say that members shall not criticize the Lord’s anointed, or that God will not bless you if you leave “his will”. Criticism in any form is seen as rebellion. There will be an emphasis on authority, unquestioning obedience and submission. They use psychological manipulation to keep members loyal. I've been in a similar situation and I, too, got out, but not unscathed. However, when one is in the midst of this supposed revelation, it's such an exciting time and the person will not listen to reason. I know I didn't. Hope to see you around on the site! Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissi71 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Thank you all for your warm welcome :-) @Peace : your are absolutely right. I also know churches that required 10 per cent of the salary, they also do not recommend you to watch TV all seems "impure"....I also be in touch with christians that refuse to take medicine and for me this is a dangerous point of a cult. As soon as you start reading the bible there are good chance that you slip to a cult because this book is unhealthy. As told it gives brainwashing, it controls your behaviour and at least you would stop living !!.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chikirin Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Most of them have been taped when they were vulnerable. Christians don't think they are targeting the vulnerable, but rather "reaching" those who are "open/teachable." Scary how they can twist language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Christians don't think they are targeting the vulnerable, but rather "reaching" those who are "open/teachable." Scary how they can twist language. It's blatant opportunism. Even as a believer this bothered me, this preying on the weak and needy in their darkest hour. As a believer one is taught that this exhibited need is the true, needy, sinful nature showing through ("See how much they need the Lord?!") Catch them at a low point so they act with their hearts, not their heads. Forgawdssake, don't let them think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissi Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Christians don't think they are targeting the vulnerable, but rather "reaching" those who are "open/teachable." Scary how they can twist language - would they be like the snake in Genesis ???? ha ha ha !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Welcome Sissi I, too, am a recent deconvert, and sometimes I find it hard to work out what is me and what is just the good old brain washing, so I am constantly challenging my thinking. Thank you for sharing your extimony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Most of them have been taped when they were vulnerable. Christians don't think they are targeting the vulnerable, but rather "reaching" those who are "open/teachable." Scary how they can twist language. very Ministry of love indeed. Welcome to the forums Sissi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissi71 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Dear Blackpudd, I agree with what you say. The most difficult for me when I started deconverting was to allow me to have my own Thoughts. We have been so many years brainwashed with “sin” and guilt that we can have this fear for a long time. Even If you don’t fellow any Christian group, the doctrine follow you in your brain. It takes time. As I told in my testimony, The fear of hell, or to be judged by God obsessed me for a long time when I started recovering. In the first months, I was so glad to be free and then I struggled with a depression. Hopefully the doctor understood me. It is like if A drug stop making effect and you have to wake up with struggle in life. For me it was also difficult to accept that Most of my friendships among Christians were fake, because all topics turn around Christian faith. You feel loved as Soon as you have the same beliefs but after your deconversion you notice that in a true friendship there is a respect For the difference, it is a personal enrichment. We learn from each other. If you start giving a different opinion with Christian friends, most of them will disagree, most if you focus on religion beliefs. When you have been told that Jesus is only the truth, all other religions or beliefs are fake this is in this point that make a cult. But you have been so so brainwashed for so many years, that your own beliefs almost disappeared and it takes time To discern which is yours and not yours. Which church did you fellows ? Regarding myself I fellowed different churches like pentecostal, evangelical, more Traditional….but everytime that we focus so much on the bible, chance of being brainwashed is possible. My purpose now is having an emotional stability, I need so….I really encountered a long an big storm that really exhausted me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Hey Sissi, As far as the churches I went to, I was raised in the church of christ (in Australia- there seems to be some differences between CoC in Australia and in America, and I'm still trying to work out the differences), I did a short stint with a fundamentalist breakaway Baptist group, who called themselves the Bible Baptists, and after that I took up with the pentecostals.But really, they're all in the business of brainwashing. Having been raised in the CoC from the time I was born, with my biological mother's own peculiar slant on religion, I have struggled very hard with the brainwashing, for years. The link below is a documentary that I found extremely helpful at the end of my struggle. It's a long documentary, but I found it really explained EVERYTHING for me, and helped me to connect the dots in my own mind between my own doubts, and helped me to see religion for what it really is. http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/why-i-am-no-longer-a-christian/ I watched in twice in one weekend, along with other documentaries on religion that you can find there, and by the end of the weekend, everything just went "bang!" in my mind. It all just fell into place, how I had been deceived for so long by something that was nothing more than a myth created by men for control of the general populace. Since that weekend, I have gone from constant fear of hell and my own doubts, to the freedom of disbelief. I examine my thoughts constantly to ensure that no little nasties held over from my brainwashing remain, and I think long and hard about my opinions on everything, in order to determine if they have been influenced by religion. But much of this I did while I was still doubting. I guess my deconversion was really a very long, slow process, but I'm glad it was, because when the end came, and I had to make a final decision, I found it so much easier. Seeing religion and god for what it really was made it pretty easy to throw off that old "christian guilt complex", and I am much happier now. The question of what I am now still bothers me. I was getting into paganism at the end of my struggle with christianity, and I found that very hard to deal with. I felt as though I had two thought processes running through my mind, one for christianity, and one for paganism. I felt as though I had opposing views on everything, and it was so upsetting. I felt as though I was going absolutely crazy, as I liked the pagan belief system, but the old christianity belief system was not budging, and did not approve of my pagan thoughts! Once I deconverted, the question I have been trying to answer is, was I trying to replace christianity with paganism? And I suspect that I may have been. So am I an atheist? Quite possibly. An atheist with paganistic leanings might be a better description of myself. And on the topic of christian friendships, you are quite right. It's amazing how quickly many of them will dump you once you stop agreeing with them. But really, it's their loss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissi Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 I think you just try to find a belief that suits you. And it is not always easy. I think it is normal to have spiritual needs and to seek a sense to our life on this earth. We are out of a brainwashing but it is normal to have spiritual needs. My opinion is you shouldnt worry...the most important I think is that your criticism state is awake and you can say no when you disagree. For so many years we had to say yes to everything in our christian church even if there was no sense. You know regarding myself, I try with buddhism. There are things which are really usefull but they are also some beliefs that look unusual and I disagree. Now we must know that we have right to say "no" and this is the most important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Now we must know that we have right to say "no" and this is the most important. How very true, Sissi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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