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Why Would God Abandon A Little Boy?


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My "faith journey" started at age 4. I was a kid with a remarkable memory. At age 2 I sat and watched my dad build a small porch on the back of our house. I remembered the number of studs he used by using the arithmetic/addition my 5 year old brother was teaching me. At age 4 I thought about teling my dad how many studs were on the porch, but waited a few weeks until he started mistreating me again; I wanted to use the knowledge of his building to make him glad I existed at all.

 

One Sunday afternoon he was particularly angry at life and was harsh with me so that day I told him proudly..."there are 13 studs on this porch". He whipped around and said that's good Russ, you remember they're called studs, but there are 12. I said there are 13. He said there are 12 and he would prove it. He counted them. He counted 13, got very angry and asked my brother and mom if they knew and maybe had told me. They didn't have any idea. He got very angry with me and made me "sit there and count to 10,000" . I was being punished for something spectacular. I wasn't able, of course, to count like that, but I stayed there a long time just to please him ,then called out I had counted to 10,000, can I come out now? His answer...NO! In fact he told me right then and there I would always just belong to my mom. He mistreated me all his life.

 

I prayed at age 5 for deliverance from his anger. I figured if God heard from a child he would surley answer me! It did nothing but get worse for me.

 

God walked on the other side of the street...like the Pharasees.

 

I was a believer until age 50.

 

I have peace, friends, happiness and joy now knowing my life is in my hands.

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Am glad for you that you've also figured it out - there is no higher power that cares about the problems of little boys - or girls either. Thanks much for posting; welcome to Ex-C!

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Glad you've made it to this point in life. Your childhood must have been miserable and stultifying.

 

Welcome to Ex-C - lots of kind and gentle like minded folks around her to support you in your journey away from Chritianity.

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My dad was agnostic. He never said a word to me about life. Nothing. I guess God became the caring dad that I never had. My daddy issues, are the rout I took, to my own spirituality. My dad died while I was in Korea, serving in the Army. I flew back for the funeral, but he was in the ground before I got there.

 

I think he would have been proud of me in life. I have done well. My regret, is that I never matured enough to break through to the real man that he was.

I'm 46.

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My dad was agnostic. He never said a word to me about life. Nothing. I guess God became the caring dad that I never had. My daddy issues, are the rout I took, to my own spirituality. My dad died while I was in Korea, serving in the Army. I flew back for the funeral, but he was in the ground before I got there.

 

I think he would have been proud of me in life. I have done well. My regret, is that I never matured enough to break through to the real man that he was.

I'm 46.

 

I tried to make God a substitute dad, too. It doesn't work that way. Everyone needs caring and a feeling of belonging when they are children and reading a book and praying doesn't do one thing to make you feel wanted.

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Glad you've made it to this point in life. Your childhood must have been miserable and stultifying.

 

Welcome to Ex-C - lots of kind and gentle like minded folks around her to support you in your journey away from Chritianity.

 

 

My childhood was as horrible as you can imagine. In adulthood, my father tried to get me in trouble with police..unsuccessfully I may add. He talked behind my back about me in the hospital when he was on his deathbed; I found this out right after praying for him and talking with the person he shared a room with.

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I am very sad for this bad experience Perfessor.

 

This is the reason why I left all this christian world. Because when you read the bible you see Jesus healing people (excepted

thos who did not believe in him) but he never refused.

I had very difficult time too and despite all my prayers I just received the silence back from God. And it lasted many years.

Why did I not realize that was something wrong before ? because all was done to keep me in the doctrine like : God' thoughts

are not our thoughts", God is wise, etc... All things turn well for those who like Him... it is a lie. I think so many

christians have been disappointed but most just stay in christianity because they know somewhere in them that if they forsake their group and christianity, they will loose everything : their friends, as they are as soon as you agree and believe the same doctrine. But they will dump you as soon as you disagree.

 

 

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Welcome Perfesser! Your story is so sad. Thank you for sharing. I can certainly relate......Praying for my mom and dad to stop fighting and help them to get back together again. (They split up when I was 12) Lots of abuses as a child, as I grew up, before I became an adult........I was always looking for the 'daddy' that would finally love, and protect me......

 

sing_99.gif Jesus loves the little children..............all the children of the world...................

 

Wendybanghead.gif

 

BabyStarvation.jpg

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Welcome to Ex-C. Congratulations on surviving Childhood AND Christianity.

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