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Goodbye Jesus

Shit Christians Say On Facebook Around The Holidays


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lol you're welcome, Nora smile.png Welcome to Ex-C smile.png Let me know when you'd like some more along those lines- my dad is even more anti-christmas than I am, and he's a treasure trove of this sort of stuff. Actually, right now he's trying to find an inflatable santa to stick on the roof, having a piss. Or his other idea is to have a raindeer pissing on santa. If he could get away with it, he'd put "bah humbug" in lights on the roof. Just pm me next time, I'll get onto my dad for some links for you lol smile.png

 

My wife insisted that I put up the Christmas lights last weekend. I was so tempted to get enough to spell out "It's too early for this shit". But I love peace in the house more. At least I got her to wait until after Halloween to put up the damn tree.

 

We don't have a christmas tree. If my fiancee wants one, he'll have to get off his arse and not only get it, but set it up AND decorate it. Personally, I don't see it happening :P We'll see if my strategy works lol

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lol you're welcome, Nora smile.png Welcome to Ex-C smile.png Let me know when you'd like some more along those lines- my dad is even more anti-christmas than I am, and he's a treasure trove of this sort of stuff. Actually, right now he's trying to find an inflatable santa to stick on the roof, having a piss. Or his other idea is to have a raindeer pissing on santa. If he could get away with it, he'd put "bah humbug" in lights on the roof. Just pm me next time, I'll get onto my dad for some links for you lol smile.png

 

My wife insisted that I put up the Christmas lights last weekend. I was so tempted to get enough to spell out "It's too early for this shit". But I love peace in the house more. At least I got her to wait until after Halloween to put up the damn tree.

 

We don't have a christmas tree. If my fiancee wants one, he'll have to get off his arse and not only get it, but set it up AND decorate it. Personally, I don't see it happening tongue.png We'll see if my strategy works lol

 

Thanks for the welcome. Your father sounds awesome blackpudd1n!

Somewhat ironically christmas is usually my favourite holiday but this year the whos-buying-who-what questions started way too early, and caused some tension. And (as might be surmised by my joining an ex-c forum) things have changed for me in the past year or so, and I'm not looking forward to the religious bs that goes with christmas in my family. However I have a child, and a 'close' religious family and it isn't going to be possible to avoid it, so I might need to call on your treasure trove sometime!

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Thanks for the welcome. Your father sounds awesome blackpudd1n!

Somewhat ironically christmas is usually my favourite holiday but this year the whos-buying-who-what questions started way too early, and caused some tension. And (as might be surmised by my joining an ex-c forum) things have changed for me in the past year or so, and I'm not looking forward to the religious bs that goes with christmas in my family. However I have a child, and a 'close' religious family and it isn't going to be possible to avoid it, so I might need to call on your treasure trove sometime!

 

lol no worries, just let me know, I'll tell dad we have another member to add to the club :P

 

Dad's main reason for hating christmas is he lost his dad on christmas day a few years ago, and the jokes are his way of dealing with it. My main reason is my biological mother is a toxic person who I can't have in my life, and even though it is my decision to have nothing to do with her, it still isn't easy when everyone's playing happy families on christmas day. And dad and I both hate family politics. What makes it worse is that no-one ever seems to be able to understand why we hate christmas so much, and so, every year, we get people trying to change our perspective on the issue, which just pisses us off even more. Constant reminders that the hated day is coming just do not help, and we find the best way to keep our sanity is through christmas jokes.

 

So yeah, let me know when you need something to keep you sane :)

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1_wDVKOTjI&feature=share

 

This one made me crack up- just had to share it :P

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The Christmas season is the only time of year we get to see the Baby Jesus. I like Baby Jesus, the big one not so much.

 

He's cute until you make him cry by touching Mr. Happy; or worse, when the girl you met won't touch Mr. Happy because she doesn't want to make baby Jesus cry.

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...Oh, okay, here's how I really feel tongue.png

 

 

Thank you so much for this.

I've been a lurker for here for a while but this was really what I needed tonight (after some family Christmas angst) so I had to emerge from lurker-dom to say thanks.

That video saved my evening. That and a few glasses of pinot....

 

lol you're welcome, Nora smile.png Welcome to Ex-C smile.png Let me know when you'd like some more along those lines- my dad is even more anti-christmas than I am, and he's a treasure trove of this sort of stuff. Actually, right now he's trying to find an inflatable santa to stick on the roof, having a piss. Or his other idea is to have a raindeer pissing on santa. If he could get away with it, he'd put "bah humbug" in lights on the roof. Just pm me next time, I'll get onto my dad for some links for you lol smile.png

 

Just dropped in to say, I like your dad!

 

But mainly — totally off topic — I was sort of tickled, when I read your profile information on the left side of your posts, that you call your cats "puddins." So do I! But I don't know where I picked up this term of affection for those of the kitteh persuasion, or that other people use it. Small world, huh?

 

OK, I'm done now. You all can return to the discussion in progress.

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But mainly — totally off topic — I was sort of tickled, when I read your profile information on the left side of your posts, that you call your cats "puddins." So do I! But I don't know where I picked up this term of affection for those of the kitteh persuasion, or that other people use it. Small world, huh?

 

OK, I'm done now. You all can return to the discussion in progress.

 

Off topic also for a mo- it's dad's fault! When Bruce had to go on a diet. dad started teasing him, calling him a puddin'. Then when Wednesday came along, it was just easier to say "where is the puddin'?" or to just call her puddin'. Dad's English, so I think that has something to do with it. You're actually the only other person that I've met that calls puddins that, too! :)

 

lol I'm done now too :)

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Christmas doesn't represent Christianity or Jesus to me. I celebrate the Winter Solstice and I still use traditional decor, you know, the wreaths and stuff, just no crosses or religious themes. I like xmas decor. Baby Jesus, not so much.

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Hee hee hee, I get such a warm fuzzy feeling at this time of year and I love it when I see this message. It means I get to point out the fact that the "X" in Xmas refers to the Greek letter chi, which is the first letter in the word Χριστός...which is Khristós or CHRIST.

 

Pointing out to Christians just how fucking stupid they are about their own religion is an age old Holiday tradition in my household. XD

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First christmas as an atheist this year, it will be a bit tough I think. My parents expect me to join them and go to church with them for 4 times over the weekend. Of course, I'd rather not. I still have to figure out a way to dodge it :(

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The only time I go to church is around the holidays IF I am visiting with my mother, and then only if I am staying at her house. It's pretty easy to deal with as it's as much a family thing for her as anything else.

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It's a spiritual thing for my parents. They were asking questions about how often I went to church. Because they do not know I am an atheist, or don't go to church anyways to begin with, I lied and told them I skipped a sunday every now and then. This info upset them greatly. They were both going into serious mode, coming up with all kinds of metaphors to convince me of the fact that I should go to church twice a sunday every week. What doesn't help is that the service lasts for an hour and a half, and the sermon itself takes up half of the service.

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First christmas as an atheist this year, it will be a bit tough I think. My parents expect me to join them and go to church with them for 4 times over the weekend. Of course, I'd rather not. I still have to figure out a way to dodge it sad.png

 

welcome to the forum, Bronxo! :)

 

A sudden allergy to dust mites? Walk into church the first time, and start sneezing for your life, until you have to leave because you don't want to interrupt anyone else receiving the message? Then out of fear of another sneezing episode avoid going again. Add some scratching for good effect. Or blame it on the decorations or flowers or something. If you can pull it off the first time, maybe you'll be right to avoid the other three.

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Drink too many alcoholic beverages the night before so you smell like a brewery, can't stop puking, and basically look like a drunk. They certainly wouldn't want you there representing their parenting skills like that.

 

To be honest, at worst I'd probably just tell them that you changed denomination and would prefer to go to your own style of church, then go for a walk or hang out at Starbucks while they're busy being spiritual. If that's not an option, then you have two choices: suck it up for the weekend, or come clean.

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I HATE Christmas!!!! I hate the gaudy decorations. I hate the way people who don't even like each other pretend to for a day- if you don't talk to someone regularly, THERE'S A DAMN GOOD REASON FOR IT!! Not to forget those fucking awful CHRISTMAS CAROLS!!!

 

And you know what else I hate about Christmas? THE FOOD! I hate ham off the bone! I hate Turkey! I hate prawns and seafood! So every year, I pretty much each vegetables, IF I'm lucky to get some veges, or just salad. I FUCKING STARVE AT CHRISTMAS!!

 

And what's worse than the Christmas carols, are the pop stars ripping them off and doing their own damn version! Don't they understand they sound like SHIT??!!

 

I'm done now. smile.png

 

Back in high school, I worked at a grocery store, and I HATED all the fucking christmas music playing constantly.

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I HATE Christmas!!!! I hate the gaudy decorations. I hate the way people who don't even like each other pretend to for a day- if you don't talk to someone regularly, THERE'S A DAMN GOOD REASON FOR IT!! Not to forget those fucking awful CHRISTMAS CAROLS!!!

 

And you know what else I hate about Christmas? THE FOOD! I hate ham off the bone! I hate Turkey! I hate prawns and seafood! So every year, I pretty much each vegetables, IF I'm lucky to get some veges, or just salad. I FUCKING STARVE AT CHRISTMAS!!

 

And what's worse than the Christmas carols, are the pop stars ripping them off and doing their own damn version! Don't they understand they sound like SHIT??!!

 

I'm done now. smile.png

 

 

Now tell us how you REALLY feel. tongue.png

 

 

 

Personally, I like the Christmas carols. I learned to sing with them. Also learned melody, harmony and counterpoint. So they'll always have a place for me anyway.

 

 

...Oh, okay, here's how I really feel tongue.png

 

 

I'm stealing this!

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The Christmas season is the only time of year we get to see the Baby Jesus. I like Baby Jesus, the big one not so much.

 

Hmmm, baby jesus.... I think I'll eat baby jesus for christmas dinner!

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Dad's main reason for hating christmas is he lost his dad on christmas day a few years ago, and the jokes are his way of dealing with it....

 

Damn, that sucks. I lost my dad the day after christmas when I was 15. He had to stay home to work while the rest of my family went to my Grandparent's house like we did every christmas. We left early, 'cause a snow storm was coming, and we didn't want to get stuck in the Dallas area. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him before we left. He was already at work when Mom decided it was time to leave. So I had a blast playing with my cousins and seeing relatives, and didn't think to call him until the 26th. By the time I called, he had already been dead for about an hour.

 

EDIT: Wow, that was a lot harder to type than I thought it would be.

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Dad's main reason for hating christmas is he lost his dad on christmas day a few years ago, and the jokes are his way of dealing with it....

 

Damn, that sucks. I lost my dad the day after christmas when I was 15. He had to stay home to work while the rest of my family went to my Grandparent's house like we did every christmas. We left early, 'cause a snow storm was coming, and we didn't want to get stuck in the Dallas area. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him before we left. He was already at work when Mom decided it was time to leave. So I had a blast playing with my cousins and seeing relatives, and didn't think to call him until the 26th. By the time I called, he had already been dead for about an hour.

 

EDIT: Wow, that was a lot harder to type than I thought it would be.

 

I can appreciate how hard that would have been to type. Dad's dad died years ago and it still gets to him at Christmas. It's just never the same after that. It's like every single decoration, christmas tree, carol, is just another reminder that the anniversary is coming. I have my own bad anniversary at the end of September, and it gets to me every year. Mine's 5 days before my birthday, so I hate my birthday, too lol. Easter can be dicey, as well. But I do like Anzac Day and Australia Day :) Anzac Day's probably my favourite, because my grandpa is a World War II vet.

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Back in high school, I worked at a grocery store, and I HATED all the fucking christmas music playing constantly.

 

You should try working as a check-out chick during a country music festival, and having the junior talent quest going on 30 metres away from you. Little kids Screaming, "Man, I feel like a woman!" All. Day. Long. End result? I HATE country music! I only suffered through 6 festivals.

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I'm stealing this!

 

You're welcome to it :P

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Dad's main reason for hating christmas is he lost his dad on christmas day a few years ago, and the jokes are his way of dealing with it....

 

Damn, that sucks. I lost my dad the day after christmas when I was 15. He had to stay home to work while the rest of my family went to my Grandparent's house like we did every christmas. We left early, 'cause a snow storm was coming, and we didn't want to get stuck in the Dallas area. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him before we left. He was already at work when Mom decided it was time to leave. So I had a blast playing with my cousins and seeing relatives, and didn't think to call him until the 26th. By the time I called, he had already been dead for about an hour.

 

EDIT: Wow, that was a lot harder to type than I thought it would be.

 

I can appreciate how hard that would have been to type. Dad's dad died years ago and it still gets to him at Christmas. It's just never the same after that. It's like every single decoration, christmas tree, carol, is just another reminder that the anniversary is coming. I have my own bad anniversary at the end of September, and it gets to me every year. Mine's 5 days before my birthday, so I hate my birthday, too lol. Easter can be dicey, as well. But I do like Anzac Day and Australia Day smile.png Anzac Day's probably my favourite, because my grandpa is a World War II vet.

 

Oddly enough, I don't think his death is what's really spoiled christmas for me. On the 26th, I'll think about dad, but except for a few rare occasions, I rarely feel sad. Don't get me wrong, in the days following his death, I was miserable. And he definitely deserved better than to spend his last few days being lonely. Things weren't great between him and mom. In fact, I bet he wondered if we'd even return. I'm just lucky to have a weird psychological makeup to where I don't dwell on it much. I used to feel guilty about my lack of sadness, but I know Dad wouldn't have wanted me to feel sad, so I don't feel guilty any more.

 

That having been said, christmas just doesn't seem special anymore. I honestly just as well be at work. Even the last time I got to spend christmas with my extended family, it just wasn't the same. I think part of what made christmas so great when I was a kid was that I had such a wonderful family (mother issues aside). My family seems more distant now both physically and emotionally, and neither my current inlaws are a bunch of .... well ... they can't even stand to be around each other much.

 

Thinking about this makes me want to ramble on about things that aren't relevant to this thread. Maybe I'll vent in another thread at some point.

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Back in high school, I worked at a grocery store, and I HATED all the fucking christmas music playing constantly.

 

You should try working as a check-out chick during a country music festival, and having the junior talent quest going on 30 metres away from you. Little kids Screaming, "Man, I feel like a woman!" All. Day. Long. End result? I HATE country music! I only suffered through 6 festivals.

 

Hahah, country music sucks, especially newer country. I actually like some of the much older stuff every rare now and then. I'd hate to have to hear it all the time.

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Oddly enough, I don't think his death is what's really spoiled christmas for me. On the 26th, I'll think about dad, but except for a few rare occasions, I rarely feel sad. Don't get me wrong, in the days following his death, I was miserable. And he definitely deserved better than to spend his last few days being lonely. Things weren't great between him and mom. In fact, I bet he wondered if we'd even return. I'm just lucky to have a weird psychological makeup to where I don't dwell on it much. I used to feel guilty about my lack of sadness, but I know Dad wouldn't have wanted me to feel sad, so I don't feel guilty any more.

 

That having been said, christmas just doesn't seem special anymore. I honestly just as well be at work. Even the last time I got to spend christmas with my extended family, it just wasn't the same. I think part of what made christmas so great when I was a kid was that I had such a wonderful family (mother issues aside). My family seems more distant now both physically and emotionally, and neither my current inlaws are a bunch of .... well ... they can't even stand to be around each other much.

 

Thinking about this makes me want to ramble on about things that aren't relevant to this thread. Maybe I'll vent in another thread at some point.

 

I know the feeling :)

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