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Any Superstitions After Deconverting?


TotalWreck
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I recently decided to leave Christianity, but one of the things that is really stressing me out is this superstition of mine, where I'm worried that pretty soon all sorts of bad things are going to suddenly start happening to me since I decided I don't believe anymore. Did anyone else ever go through this when they deconverted? And did you happen to notice more "unlucky" things than usual happen to you after you left?

 

It's amazing how messed up religion can make someone - here I am and I don't really believe in God anymore, yet I still have all these fears of being punished for turning away.

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I consider myself an agnostic yet I have a lot of pagan influence in my worldview. I'm not Wiccan in that I don't worship the god/goddess (or anything else for that matter) yet I have a close connection to the natural world and other mystic stuff as well. I also do some of the rituals/magick stuff the Wiccans do but I do it in a completely atheistic way. My views on morals also differ from most pagans: I don't believe in karma or the threefold law/Wiccan Rede. To me, those rules seem like a way of controlling people which makes it no better than Christianity. I believe in freedom and that doing what I wish is the whole of the law, but I don't believe in harming people unless things really get out of control. I would much rather have someone who has wronged me understand why what their actions were misguided. Getting revenge or holding a petty grudge is a poor way of teaching them.

 

Your fear of divine retribution can be your undoing if you feel it strongly enough. Have you heard of self-fulfilling prophesies? If you're afraid that something bad is going to happen, it probably will. There's a reason for that, but it involves getting into mystical stuff and that's way beyond the scope of this thread. (PM me if you want the full explanation) However, you should consider this: If god wasn't there for you when you needed it to be, why are you so afraid of it smiting you now because you refuse to believe in it anymore?

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Did anyone else ever go through this when they deconverted? And did you happen to notice more "unlucky" things than usual happen to you after you left?

 

Yes. No. There was a great deal of fear that God would do something to me, or my wife or kids. It wasn't pretty for me emotionally during that time (about two months), but nothing bad happened. That was followed by a period of time of trying to analyze why nothing bad happened: either God doesn't operate as the Bible depicts, God doesn't care, or God doesn't exist.

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I recently decided to leave Christianity, but one of the things that is really stressing me out is this superstition of mine, where I'm worried that pretty soon all sorts of bad things are going to suddenly start happening to me since I decided I don't believe anymore. Did anyone else ever go through this when they deconverted? And did you happen to notice more "unlucky" things than usual happen to you after you left?

 

It's amazing how messed up religion can make someone - here I am and I don't really believe in God anymore, yet I still have all these fears of being punished for turning away.

 

 

Sure, but I wouldn't call it a "superstition". I would call it a major part of the Christian indoctrination that must be thrown off. I don't know what kind of Christianity you came out of, but for me, this idea is deeply ingrained. If you don't believe, your life is automatically in the shit can. It is only a matter of time before you will start feeling the wrath of God in various ways.

 

Similarly, Christians believe that no matter how well off you seemingly are, if you are an unbeliever you are in rebellion against God and hellbound. Nothing truly good can be said for your life.

 

Christianity is the root of this, and if it is a "superstition", then all the rest of the Christian doctrine can also be labelled as such.

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either God doesn't operate as the Bible depicts, God doesn't care, or God doesn't exist.

 

all 3 of those answers work for me.

 

TotalWreck, I was so desperate for answers from god last year when I joined this site, that I actually invited him to kill me somehow if I was wrong about the christian faith. I was willing to take that 'punishment'. Here I still sit this morning!.

 

NOTHING has changed for me, in or out of christianity over many, many years....I have had good luck and bad.....some things were do to poor choices and some were beyond my control. I even made a deal with the devil (since I believed he had more power than god)....nothing changed.

I didn't hear from either one of them...................try to relax my friend.....You'll see.....It will be Ok.

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TotalWreck, I was so desperate for answers from god last year when I joined this site, that I actually invited him to kill me somehow if I was wrong about the christian faith. I was willing to take that 'punishment'. Here I still sit this morning!.

 

NOTHING has changed for me, in or out of christianity over many, many years....I have had good luck and bad.....some things were do to poor choices and some were beyond my control. I even made a deal with the devil (since I believed he had more power than god)....nothing changed.

I didn't hear from either one of them...................try to relax my friend.....You'll see.....It will be Ok.

 

I am SO glad that you told me this - I too was thinking about "I wonder if people ever try to make a deal with the devil since he seems to have more power". Now that you've told me you did, and STILL nothing changed, I feel much better!

 

I'm trying to accept that life is just a matter of sometimes you're lucky and sometimes you're not.

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TotalWreck, I was so desperate for answers from god last year when I joined this site, that I actually invited him to kill me somehow if I was wrong about the christian faith. I was willing to take that 'punishment'. Here I still sit this morning!.

 

NOTHING has changed for me, in or out of christianity over many, many years....I have had good luck and bad.....some things were do to poor choices and some were beyond my control. I even made a deal with the devil (since I believed he had more power than god)....nothing changed.

I didn't hear from either one of them...................try to relax my friend.....You'll see.....It will be Ok.

 

I am SO glad that you told me this - I too was thinking about "I wonder if people ever try to make a deal with the devil since he seems to have more power". Now that you've told me you did, and STILL nothing changed, I feel much better!

 

I'm trying to accept that life is just a matter of sometimes you're lucky and sometimes you're not.

This WILL become the sad realization, as it has for me. Survival of the smartest, strongest and luckiest. But things will start to make sense now! No more questioning god, ''Why, why, why??

 

As one of my dear friends says,''Life without god is no picnic either!'' wink.png

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Synchronicity.

 

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/synchronicity

 

You can always connect dots where there are none. Just because you left christianity and had some bad luck does not mean the two are related. I've got a bearing in my car that needs to be fixed. It's only just started playing up. I fully deconverted a few weeks ago. I know they make god out to be so wonderful, but really, bearings wear out, regardless of whether you love or hate god, are a pagan, muslim, whatever. Either way, my bearing needs to be fixed. It's annoying that it's happened in the lead up to christmas, and even more so because I was planning a trip away on the 15th. But that's life. My bearing wore out and it now needs to be fixed. And even if I started praying for my car or headed on back to church, my bearing's still going to have to be fixed. The great and almighty god doesn't seem to be any good when it comes to mechanical problems.

 

So don't sweat it :) You're used to a superstitious thought process, and old habits die hard. Of course you're going to see some synchronicity going on. But that's all it is. Next time you start getting worried, just stop and ask yourself if you might be connecting dots where there are none.

 

good luck with it :)

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I can relate to this fear. For me it isn't really about being punished by God...more of a feeling of being out here on my own. My view of God was of someone who was loving and protecting me. I felt "special". Any time I'd think of something bad happening, I'd quickly put it away believing that it wouldn't happen b/c God would protect me. And I thought that if something horrible did happen, somehow God would work it into this great plan and he'd be there to comfort me and get me through it.

 

This belief system was both my biggest comfort and the biggest dagger in my chest. And it is what eventually led me to stop believing God was there at all.

 

So what I'm dealing with now is the fact that I never developed any coping skills or tools for handling difficult events. So I fear that if and when something bad happens (for instance if I get a bad dr's report when I go see the doc soon), I will fall apart.

 

You're definitely not alone, TotalWreck. I do believe we'll get through this, though!

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I can relate to this fear. For me it isn't really about being punished by God...more of a feeling of being out here on my own. My view of God was of someone who was loving and protecting me. I felt "special". Any time I'd think of something bad happening, I'd quickly put it away believing that it wouldn't happen b/c God would protect me. And I thought that if something horrible did happen, somehow God would work it into this great plan and he'd be there to comfort me and get me through it.

 

This belief system was both my biggest comfort and the biggest dagger in my chest. And it is what eventually led me to stop believing God was there at all.

 

So what I'm dealing with now is the fact that I never developed any coping skills or tools for handling difficult events. So I fear that if and when something bad happens (for instance if I get a bad dr's report when I go see the doc soon), I will fall apart.

 

You're definitely not alone, TotalWreck. I do believe we'll get through this, though!

 

EXACTLY! I've always felt the same way. Now I don't feel "special" anymore and I don't know how I'm going to cope when something bad happens. mellow.png

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If I look at things rationally (which I'm trying to do more of!), I realize that all the time I was "trusting God" to get me through things, I was really just getting through them on my own. The fact is, I got through them and God wasn't actually there. So the truth is, I can get through painful experiences. (And so can you!) It's just a matter of learning how to think differently. I'm looking into some books that will help with that. One at the top of my list is "Leaving the Fold". The author helps people deal with the aftermath of leaving their faith.

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One at the top of my list is "Leaving the Fold". The author helps people deal with the aftermath of leaving their faith.

 

"Leaving the Fold" deserves a 5 star rating. Edit: Another great book is "Parenting Beyond Belief".

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I can relate to this fear. For me it isn't really about being punished by God...more of a feeling of being out here on my own. My view of God was of someone who was loving and protecting me. I felt "special". Any time I'd think of something bad happening, I'd quickly put it away believing that it wouldn't happen b/c God would protect me. And I thought that if something horrible did happen, somehow God would work it into this great plan and he'd be there to comfort me and get me through it.

 

This belief system was both my biggest comfort and the biggest dagger in my chest. And it is what eventually led me to stop believing God was there at all.

 

So what I'm dealing with now is the fact that I never developed any coping skills or tools for handling difficult events. So I fear that if and when something bad happens (for instance if I get a bad dr's report when I go see the doc soon), I will fall apart.

 

You're definitely not alone, TotalWreck. I do believe we'll get through this, though!

 

EXACTLY! I've always felt the same way. Now I don't feel "special" anymore and I don't know how I'm going to cope when something bad happens. mellow.png

I think the important place for you to come is that you will in fact feel special, but not because of some special favoritism from external person, as in an anthropomorphic deity "out there", but that it is a self-realization from within you without looking to some externalized source. If you look to something external for that sense of specialness, then you will always become disappointed and dismayed. Hence why God failed. We come to the place that we see we are all special, each a gleaming jewel of our own unique radiance. It is finding that within that takes back all that power we gave away to something outside of us and allows the brilliance of who we are becoming to shine. In bringing that power back to its true source, your fears will go away. You become grounded in deep self awareness. In that place, no matter what events of life transpire, you operate from that place of grounding and contentedness. The fear is replaced by awareness.

 

What I just said will take a process of shifting your thinking away from looking outside yourself to looking within. I will add to clarify I'm not just speaking about finding self-reliance, which of course is important, but going much deeper to finding inner light and inner peace. Those don't come through achievement, but through knowledge of self. Happy journey. :)

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I came across this thread whilst searching for synchronicity because I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.  Can anyone relate to things appearing happening which seem to be on a theme - particularly negative?

 

I just went into a sports shop and playing on the loudspeakers was a song about being 'saved from destruction'.  I feeling really weary of this happening because often it does seem to be negative.  I don't know if my brain just has got 'programmed' to pick it up that way, but I've been feeling paranoid that there's some reason for this happening which means that I'm to blame or guilty in some way and am going to be punished.   

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I recently decided to leave Christianity, but one of the things that is really stressing me out is this superstition of mine, where I'm worried that pretty soon all sorts of bad things are going to suddenly start happening to me since I decided I don't believe anymore. Did anyone else ever go through this when they deconverted? And did you happen to notice more "unlucky" things than usual happen to you after you left?

 

It's amazing how messed up religion can make someone - here I am and I don't really believe in God anymore, yet I still have all these fears of being punished for turning away.

 

 

I went through that as an ex-Chrisitan.  I wondered if God was doing things to punish me.  It passed.  I got over it with time.  I think it helped that I stopped praying to God/Jesus and I stuck with that.

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I came across this thread whilst searching for synchronicity because I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.  Can anyone relate to things appearing happening which seem to be on a theme - particularly negative?

 

I just went into a sports shop and playing on the loudspeakers was a song about being 'saved from destruction'.  I feeling really weary of this happening because often it does seem to be negative.  I don't know if my brain just has got 'programmed' to pick it up that way, but I've been feeling paranoid that there's some reason for this happening which means that I'm to blame or guilty in some way and am going to be punished.   

That happened to me during my deconversion process.  Our brains are adept at identifying familiar patterns and associating them with what we've been indoctrinated with.  The more you think on other things the more those feelings will fade.

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It's been 2 1/2 years since I walked into a church. I have had many good things happen as well as bad....same thing as when I 'served' the lord....nothing has changed for me..

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I guess, in a nutshell, it's that stuff still happens, whatever you believe. But, what you believe does change how you process it, and, arguably, you'll be much happier outside Christianity. Here's why:

 

As a Christian - Stuff happens, and it's your own fault somehow because you don't believe hard enough.

Not a Christian - Stuff just happens, and it's not anyone's fault, really. No reason to beat yourself or anyone else up over it, and you can get down right away to trying to weather it. No wasted time or mental energy trying to buy off some supernatural sky daddy.

 

Edit: (to prove it's not anecdotal evidence, and add another case to our "not going to get smote by God" file)

On the subject of divine retribution, I imagine I'm the one most likely to go to Hell here, or catch it from God, on account of never being a Christian at all - none of that once saved, always saved stuff. I got into a heated argument with a guy when we were in high school over evolution, and I finally snapped and told him I didn't believe in God, and he'd have to do better than "the Bible says so" as proof for anything. I said I'd test it right there and then, and stood up and said, "Okay, God, I don't believe in you. Prove that you do. I dare you to hit me with a lightning bolt. Right here, right now. You're omnipotent, right? Prove it."

 

Guess what? That was over a decade ago. Still waiting, guys, still waiting...

 

My life's no smoother or rougher than anyone else's. Good stuff happens, bad stuff happens - but, I don't feel obligated to feel guilty or terrible about the bad.

And that kid? He didn't talk to me for a month. Every day, I'd show up at school, give him a big smile, and he'd skitter to the other side of the hall, with his head down.

So, daring God to hit you with a lightning bolt won't make it happen. You can test it yourself. You know what will, though? Standing in a boat, on a lake in a thunder storm, holding something tall and metallic, like an umbrella. So don't do that last one.

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If a god ever gave anyone a sign it's only because that person bent over backwards and pounded square pegs into round holes.

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I came across this thread whilst searching for synchronicity because I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.  Can anyone relate to things appearing happening which seem to be on a theme - particularly negative?

 

I just went into a sports shop and playing on the loudspeakers was a song about being 'saved from destruction'.  I feeling really weary of this happening because often it does seem to be negative.  I don't know if my brain just has got 'programmed' to pick it up that way, but I've been feeling paranoid that there's some reason for this happening which means that I'm to blame or guilty in some way and am going to be punished.

That happened to me during my deconversion process.  Our brains are adept at identifying familiar patterns and associating them with what we've been indoctrinated with.  The more you think on other things the more those feelings will fade.

 

Thanks for reassuring me that I'm not the only one. My brain does seem to be on overload at the moment. Maybe it needs more of an outlet in the form of studying something completely different.

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I recently decided to leave Christianity, but one of the things that is really stressing me out is this superstition of mine, where I'm worried that pretty soon all sorts of bad things are going to suddenly start happening to me since I decided I don't believe anymore. Did anyone else ever go through this when they deconverted? And did you happen to notice more "unlucky" things than usual happen to you after you left?

 

It's amazing how messed up religion can make someone - here I am and I don't really believe in God anymore, yet I still have all these fears of being punished for turning away.

Jeez, another question is how many unlucky things were going on while I was still in it? 

 

Leaving it was a God dam blessing compared to the shit I had to endure while still in. I think luck began to fall much more in my favor after turning away. Doors have always opened just at the right time and place. Chance meetings have put me together with great people, including my wife. Things have really been on the up and up and I've never suffered any depression after leaving the faith. 

 

Now while I was still in the faith I fought depression, had all sorts of bad luck like loosing friends and family and wondering why a good God would allow this? I struggled constantly. I lacked the ability to look at the bigger picture. It was a very dark time in life. 

 

Deconverting essentially saved me, for lack of a better term...

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