What's Your Favorite Christian Urban Legend?

[Suzy]

I was once told "Every time someone drinks alcohol they have a demon inside them."

 

And I was once told every time someone sneezes a demon comes out of him.

[mwc]

Here's one story that was very popular when I grew up.

 

Some scientists at NASA did some calculations of the locations of the planets and the sun for the past and discovered that their calculations were one day off. Then someone in the team remembered the story in the Bible when God stopped the sun for one day.

 

Well, that story isn't true, but many of my Christian friends used this story as evidence for the truth of the Bible.

I got in an argument with my mom and she dug up a newspaper clipping that her dad had made (from back in the early 70's maybe) telling this very same story. He'd kept it all these years and she kept it after her parents died (less than a decade ago) as some sort of "evidence" of this magical event. I showed her Snopes but I don't think it really sank in.

 

mwc

[Foxy Methoxy]

I was once told "Every time someone drinks alcohol they have a demon inside them."

 

And I was once told every time someone sneezes a demon comes out of him.

 

Cats and flower gardens force all kinds of demons out of me.

[ShackledNoMore]

I was once told "Every time someone drinks alcohol they have a demon inside them."

 

And I was once told every time someone sneezes a demon comes out of him.

 

Cats and flower gardens force all kinds of demons out of me.

 

I am a photic sneezer. Once I see the light, demons flee. Glory!

[Vigile]

The "resurrection" of African pastor, Daniel Ekechukwu.

 

The myth: http://www.gl3nnx.co...rom-nigeria.htm

 

 

The truth: http://culturekitche...surrection_hoax

 

Where I live it's such a popular story among Christians. Many of them bring it up when they want to convince me. (When it just proves their gullibility and the fact they believe anything they read on their Xtian websites without any critical thinking.)

 

Of course, all these resurrections always happen somewhere in Africa, in questionable hospitals and with questionable "doctors" around.

 

When I was a Christian I kind of liked Christian urban legends. I think that proves that deep inside I didn't really believe them, just like I don't believe in ghosts stories although I love them as movies or books. If I believed they were real or could be real I wouldn't be able to enjoy them because I would be afraid. So that's the way I was with most of these Christian urban legends as well. Like, for example, the urban legend about Russian scientists drilling in Siberia and finding hell: http://www.amightywi...aboutsounds.htm

 

The funny thing is there are Christians who actually believe this shit. But then they believe in a resurrected zombie-god as well.

 

I enjoyed the part of the russians drilling into hell story where they said they lowered a microphone into the 2000 degree heat to record the screams of the damned without the microphone melting. That's sweet.

The hole to hell stands out for me, too. While it did not scare me in the least, it left me stunned that it was supposed to. Here's another link with a lot of background information.

 

 

[Chikirin]

I talked to someone online who claimed he got gold fillings and gold dust was raining down during the service. I was still Christian at the time, but I expressed skepticism at the story and this person totally tore into me.

 

If he got magical gold fillings, couldn't God have also given him some gentleness and self control while he was at it?

[ShackledNoMore]

The "resurrection" of African pastor, Daniel Ekechukwu.

 

The myth: http://www.gl3nnx.co...rom-nigeria.htm

 

 

The truth: http://culturekitche...surrection_hoax

 

Where I live it's such a popular story among Christians. Many of them bring it up when they want to convince me. (When it just proves their gullibility and the fact they believe anything they read on their Xtian websites without any critical thinking.)

 

Of course, all these resurrections always happen somewhere in Africa, in questionable hospitals and with questionable "doctors" around.

 

When I was a Christian I kind of liked Christian urban legends. I think that proves that deep inside I didn't really believe them, just like I don't believe in ghosts stories although I love them as movies or books. If I believed they were real or could be real I wouldn't be able to enjoy them because I would be afraid. So that's the way I was with most of these Christian urban legends as well. Like, for example, the urban legend about Russian scientists drilling in Siberia and finding hell: http://www.amightywi...aboutsounds.htm

 

The funny thing is there are Christians who actually believe this shit. But then they believe in a resurrected zombie-god as well.

 

I enjoyed the part of the russians drilling into hell story where they said they lowered a microphone into the 2000 degree heat to record the screams of the damned without the microphone melting. That's sweet.

The hole to hell stands out for me, too. While it did not scare me in the least, it left me stunned that it was supposed to. Here's another link with a lot of background information.

 

 

 

Good old Weekly World News. I hate to admit this, but I used to read it for its entertainment value and got a lot of laughs out of it. Quite a number of xian urban legends came from those pages including ones in this thread (demon face, hole to hell, etc.).

[Thought2Much]

I talked to someone online who claimed he got gold fillings and gold dust was raining down during the service. I was still Christian at the time, but I expressed skepticism at the story and this person totally tore into me.

 

If he got magical gold fillings, couldn't God have also given him some gentleness and self control while he was at it?

I used to go to a church where people started claiming that their silver fillings were replaced by gold fillings.

 

My first question in response was this: if God was performing a miracle, why didn't he heal the people's teeth completely instead of giving them gold fillings? Any dentist can replace silver fillings with gold ones. It would shock the hell out of a dentist to go into his patients' records and find out that their fillings were replaced with natural tooth.

 

But God works in mysterious ways, I guess, or so I was told when I would ask this question.

[Thackerie]

I wonder why Christians try to demonize the peace sign. I guess they are against peace. I wouldn't be surprised.

 

Well that and... see above... maybe some of them know that it's (also) a rune of those Ebil Heathens™

 

(That said, does anyone know why - supposedly - the peace movement would use an inverted and wrecked cross? I mean, they agree with us Asatruar, obviously, in that placing a symbol upside down reverses its meaning, right? Would an inverted cross not mean death, or saaataaan, or some other stupid crap in their mythology?)

 

The peace sign is neither an inverted cross nor a dove's foot, as someone suggested above.

 

This is from Wikipedia:

 

The internationally recognized symbol for peace was originally designed for the British nuclear disarmament movement by Gerald Holtom in 1958.^[47] Holtom, an artist and designer, made it for a march from Trafalgar Square, London to the Atomic Weapons Research Establishment at Aldermaston in England, organised by the Direct Action Committee to take place in April and supported by the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND).^{[47][48][49][50]} Eric Austen (1922–1999) adapted Holtom's designs to ceramic lapel badges.^[51][52]

 

 

Semaphore for "N"

The symbol is a combination of the semaphore signals for the letters "N" and "D," standing for "nuclear disarmament"

[Foxy Methoxy]

"Nuh uh! It's an inverted Cross of Nero and a symbol of the end times."

 

Sincerely,

Douchebags from my old church

[midniterider]

Why not create your own fresh new urban xian legend and put it on facebook as a news article and see how far it goes?

[Chikirin]

Make it about Obama and it should be easy

[blackpudd1n]

Make it about Obama and it should be easy

 

My grandfather told me that Obama was 'saved' by a Church of Christ man. With the attitudes I've come across towards the American CoC's, that should be enough lol

[ShackledNoMore]

Make it about Obama and it should be easy

You mean as in "Obama is the anti-christ?" Too late for that.

 

If you google 'Obama antichrist,' you'll get 4.6 million hits. Not the the Phelps crowd are alone in this delusion, but for sheer audacity, beastobama.com stood out. godhatesfags is a sister site, so it has all of the same nut job flair (original spelling is retained):

 

Any fair study of the scriptures coupled with the study of the signs of the times will convince almost anybody with a modicum of intelligence that the end of the world is drawing nigh. This is amazing stuff going on here, right before our eyes, unprecedented in the history of the world - and it fits the pattern set out in Revelation 13, when there’s a great beast supposed to rise out of the worldwide sea of troubled humanity. He’s arisen out of that filthy sea of restless humanity and captured the imagination of the nation and the world. Barack Obama is the Antichrist, and is leading doomed america to her final destruction and the destruction of the world! We're not talking some vague, nebulus postulation, we're talking plain, straight BIble talk backed up by an overwhelming amount of real evidence - on the ground! Watch this fascinating, three-part documentary and check out the rest of the site for Bible perspective on the rise of Antichrist in the last hours of these last, dark days.

[WMDKitty]

The "resurrection" of African pastor, Daniel Ekechukwu.

 

The myth: http://www.gl3nnx.co...rom-nigeria.htm

 

 

The truth: http://culturekitche...surrection_hoax

 

Where I live it's such a popular story among Christians. Many of them bring it up when they want to convince me. (When it just proves their gullibility and the fact they believe anything they read on their Xtian websites without any critical thinking.)

 

Of course, all these resurrections always happen somewhere in Africa, in questionable hospitals and with questionable "doctors" around.

 

When I was a Christian I kind of liked Christian urban legends. I think that proves that deep inside I didn't really believe them, just like I don't believe in ghosts stories although I love them as movies or books. If I believed they were real or could be real I wouldn't be able to enjoy them because I would be afraid. So that's the way I was with most of these Christian urban legends as well. Like, for example, the urban legend about Russian scientists drilling in Siberia and finding hell: http://www.amightywi...aboutsounds.htm

 

The funny thing is there are Christians who actually believe this shit. But then they believe in a resurrected zombie-god as well.

 

I enjoyed the part of the russians drilling into hell story where they said they lowered a microphone into the 2000 degree heat to record the screams of the damned without the microphone melting. That's sweet.

The hole to hell stands out for me, too. While it did not scare me in the least, it left me stunned that it was supposed to. Here's another link with a lot of background information.

 

 

 

So, what's Ozzy doing in a cloud of smoke? (Or do I want to know?)

[oddbird1963]

Just about every sermon illustration I've ever heard (or told) is an Urban legend to one degree or another.

 

There is no attitude of skepticism, no dedication to fact checking and no desire for rational discourse. I can't think of one story that isn't fraught with hyperbole the stretching of the truth or the very willing suspension of disbelief all for the sake of a warm fuzzy feeling that GAWW-UDDDD is real and is on our side.

 

One "Urban legend" that comes to mind is the preacher that told his congregation that after a night of suffering terribly with horrible back pain, God told him that if he would pray for healing his back would be healed. So, in the wee hours of the morning, the pastor prayed for healing and "Voila" and "Amen!" his back pain was gone! When he related this testimony of healing to his congregation there were shouts of amen and applause all throughout the sanctuary.

 

The preacher then went on and preached a sermon that was followed by a number of congregants walking the aisle and "rededicating" there lives.

 

Of course the actual purpose of that "testimony of healing" was "Hey lookee everybody! My spiritual dick is bigger than all ya'lls spiritual dicks!" It was just a way of asserting dominance over the group.

[DesertBob]

Just about every sermon illustration I've ever heard (or told) is an Urban legend to one degree or another.

I think by definition an urban legend has to have resonance and currency with a lot of people. One minister's personal testimony of his backache cure isn't going to end up on snopes.com because frankly, in the wider world, no one gives a rip whether or not the right Reverend Phineas T. Whoopcough has a backache.

 

You are right however, a lot of stuff issues forth from pulpits that is utterly unsubstantiated and un-fact-checked. I remember stories of angels on the roofs of missionary huts, scaring off the headhunters and certain doom. The more explicit and dramatic the story, the more likely it was to have happened far away in some primitive society where no one could possibly verify the story. I used to wonder why they even bother to tell stories like that, but of course, it's to build the credibility of some visiting missionary or minister, to make the sheeple feel inadequate and faithless, etc.

[mymistake]

I always loved the ones about smuggling Bibles into communist countries. It became most famous from "Brother Andrew" in God's Smuggler by John and Elizabeth Sherrill. Yeah the same Sherrill of The Hiding Place and The Cross and the Switchblade fame. But then once it was popular lots of people tried it so there were lots of antidotes. Of course it was always a miracle through the power of God. When criminals smuggle guns or drugs is that a miracle of God?

[ExFundiDCLawyer]

As a kid growing up in IFB xtian school, we were forced to watch the "dangers of rock n roll" video almost every year. Back-masking, satanic bible, [K]idds nn atan's ervice, etc. Ironically enough it was this video that helped along my deconversion process once the I realized what a load of bat-shit craziness it was thanks to my secular education and learning to think for myself.

[stryper]

 

So, what's Ozzy doing in a cloud of smoke? (Or do I want to know?)

 

 

Didn't Ozzy spend most of his career in a cloud of smoke.....well cloud of whatever was popular at the time most likely.

[BrotherJosh]

My favorites were always the urban legends about music such as Hotel California, Rush or playing any random album backward and hearing the devil. I remember being a kid and attending a bible study with my parents, one of the older women in the group piped up and said, "rock and roll is evil, because it follows the drumbeats of the cannibals in Africa." Even as a kid I knew it was bullshit.

[pratt]

oh Bro Josh,,,,

 

the backward masking was so real that i almost wanna try to open up my casette, re-roll my Queen's Another one bites the dust,,, but it was an expensive cassette back then, and finally did not do that,,,

 

it sounded real then,,,, along side with Mike Warnke, the satan seller, comedy tapes

[ExFundiDCLawyer]

My favorites were always the urban legends about music such as Hotel California, Rush or playing any random album backward and hearing the devil. I remember being a kid and attending a bible study with my parents, one of the older women in the group piped up and said, "rock and roll is evil, because it follows the drumbeats of the cannibals in Africa." Even as a kid I knew it was bullshit.

 

Definitely! - I remember the story being told over and over again in youth group. Some "missionary" (always unidentified) is allowing his children to listen to "Christian Rock". Along comes some former cannibal or medicine man (depending on who is telling the story) who is outraged that the missionary is letting his children listen to "satan's music" He explains to the missionary that exact same beat is what he used to use to conjure up spirits and demons during his rituals and sacrifices. Point being of course is that it is the beat not just the lyrics that is Satanic and that the only "godly" music is the hymns sung at church.

 

I never bought into it fully as a teen, but I never questioned it either - not until later when I realized what ancecdotal evidence was!

[ExFundiDCLawyer]

I think my all-time favorite though is those damm halloween chick tracts. I am ashamed to say that my children missed trick-or-treating for the first few years of their lives due to those damm things. Amazing what one can find on Snopes!

[blackpudd1n]

My favorites were always the urban legends about music such as Hotel California, Rush or playing any random album backward and hearing the devil. I remember being a kid and attending a bible study with my parents, one of the older women in the group piped up and said, "rock and roll is evil, because it follows the drumbeats of the cannibals in Africa." Even as a kid I knew it was bullshit.

 

Definitely! - I remember the story being told over and over again in youth group. Some "missionary" (always unidentified) is allowing his children to listen to "Christian Rock". Along comes some former cannibal or medicine man (depending on who is telling the story) who is outraged that the missionary is letting his children listen to "satan's music" He explains to the missionary that exact same beat is what he used to use to conjure up spirits and demons during his rituals and sacrifices. Point being of course is that it is the beat not just the lyrics that is Satanic and that the only "godly" music is the hymns sung at church.

 

I never bought into it fully as a teen, but I never questioned it either - not until later when I realized what ancecdotal evidence was!

 

...Yep, i experienced this one too. I was only allowed to listen to jazz and classical music growing up, and the exception to the rule were musicals such as The Fiddler On The Roof, Hello Dolly, and shit like the Sound of Music. Dancing was also strictly forbidden, as it encourages sex, apparently.