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Belief In Jesus Causes Clinical Depression!


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I was raised in a fundy house and have had a life-long struggle trying to get the indoctrination out of my head. I can finally say that there is no biblegod or jesus. They are myths. I'm not at the stage yet where I can say that I don't believe in anything. I still hold onto the hope that *something* is out there. I cannot write a complete testimony covering my entire xtian life, that's more ground than I'm willing to cover at the moment, but I want to say a few things that I've been wanting to share here. I also want to encourage others by saying that leaving xtianity is a wonderful thing! You won't regret it!

 

This website has helped me tremendously in the past few weeks, and I thank you all for keeping the conversations going. I must say that it pisses me off to no end the xtians witnessing to the posters here. To them I say this: HOW ARROGANT OF YOU TO ASSUME WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE BIBLE AND THAT LEAVING XTIANITY HAS BEEN EASY!!! I have a bible college degree and have been defending the piece of shit bible and pretending that it doesn't say the evil shit that it says my entire life! I'M OVER IT!!!

 

This last church I was a member of, a reformed baptist piece of shit calvinist church, was the last straw that broke the camel's back. The church was full of misogynistic child-abusers; parents pass around a book that advocates the spanking of infants. Why? Because they're born EVIL and they're manipulating you with their cries! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! This church has a semi-famous pastor and wields considerable influence within the community, it makes me want ot PUKE just thinking about it.

 

My horrific fundy upbringing has left me anxious and depressed. Even though I feel like a burden has been lifted with my deconversion, I fear that it might take the rest of my life to reverse the damage it has caused. Xtianity is evil, vile, disgusting, insane, repulsive, and abusive. Thank you for reading this testimony, I know it's more of a venting of outrage. I had been searching for years to try and make sense of the bible: the misogyny, animal sacrifices, killings, violence... The teachings, or doctrines, of the various denominations made no sense, either. I have finally found the answer as to why these things made no sense: THE BIBLE IS JUST A BUNCH OF OLD, INCOHERENT STORIES!!!! Thank you again for reading the most freeing testimony I've ever given.

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Hey mudhoney! Welcome to Ex-c and welcome 'home'...... Boy have you found the right place to deconvert! We will help you! Thousands of posts to read -you can be on this site forever to find all the intelligent answers from people who use their brains!! You'll still be a little depressed as you go along, but it will be a more 'happy' depression!! biggrin.png

 

Thanks for sharing your story - I really relate to a lot of it. Looking forward to hearing more from you!!

 

Sincerely, Margee

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Hey Mudhoney, welcome to ex-C!

 

Sound like you are in a good place right now considering all you have been through. Congratz. I'm glad you started the road to recovery.

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I have a bible college degree and have been defending the piece of shit bible and pretending that it doesn't say the evil shit that it says my entire life! I'M OVER IT!!!

 

Hello and welcome to the site! I joined not long ago and already it's helped me out so much, and I know it will help you out too.

 

I'm just like you - I was sick of defending that stupid ass bible and tired of turning my head at all the cruel things that are in it. I finally got to a point where I realized that if that's what "god" is really like, he's a cruel creep and I want nothing to do with it.

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Hi Mudhoney!

 

Welcome to ExC. I truly hope your mental health improves now that you've listened to your rational side. I, too, was born fundy, and these beliefs made me highly anxious. Now that I have deconverted, I finally have mental peace.

 

Sometimes I wonder if fundamentalism actually causes brain damage. It seems to damage our innate sense of compassion and common sense. At least that's what it did to me.

 

Welcome! It's great to have you on board!

 

Peace.

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Hey Mudhoney - I think that in time you will come to be grateful for the RBPOSCC. Fundamentalism is so blatantly mental that any rational person has to question the entire thing.

 

The truly nefarious sects are those that lull you to sleep. They are reasoned, erudite, and truly deceptive. Those are far more difficult to leave because one does not feel the need as acutely.

 

You are right to be angry. A part of me still admires the Christ who bitched out the religious pricks of his day. And I still admire the Sermon on the Mount. So, there is some good in what we have all been taught and I think we should acknowledge that good.

 

But you're right to rage. Just be sure to replace that with something better. "Hating is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

 

Just know that you will make it to a place where you are at peace. Look for good things in your life and focus on them. Don't let the anger rule your thoughts for too long.

 

And we're all here if you need us.

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Thank you all for the words of welcome and encouragement. Also, thank you for the warning about anger, slave2six, you're right. You mentioned the sermon on the mount. I have spent countless hours trying to understand it, reading different commentaries, thinking that it held some sort of key to understanding the bible. In the end it still doesn't make sense to me and I suspect it's not supposed to. I don't think there's anything good in the bible.

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I can so empathise with you Mudhoney... I was the same as you... All my adult life, about 25-30 years ended up clinically depressed and hospitalised for 2 months and they phoned me in hospital to say it was a sin to be in despair!!! WTF... I couldn't even function anymore... That was12 years ago and I still have anxiety problems... Phobias that just won't shift even tho' I have denounced God... Here is my blog and a link to my story... My Ex fundamentalist blog...

 

Great you got out... woohoo.gif

Weesue AKA Ex Fundamentalist...

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Hi there! I have a religious trauma syndrom after attending catholic high school and I often feel depressed, as I cannot enjoy life like I used to before. I feel like I'm not allowed to do what I want to do, because God will punish me. I know how yoo feel. I hope this site helps us :)

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This last church I was a member of, a reformed baptist piece of shit calvinist church, was the last straw that broke the camel's back. The church was full of misogynistic child-abusers; parents pass around a book that advocates the spanking of infants. Why? Because they're born EVIL and they're manipulating you with their cries! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! This church has a semi-famous pastor and wields considerable influence within the community, it makes me want ot PUKE just thinking about it.

 

 

This is exactly how I would describe my highschool: misogynistic child abusers!

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Welcome to Ex-C, Mudhoney! I'm a former pentecostal, charismatic, Word of Faith fundy. Whew, I got tired just typing all of that. Yes, it is very freeing to finally say "I don't believe that any more!" It's been seven years of freedom for me, and yes, it does get better as time goes on.

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I'm a former pentecostal, charismatic, Word of Faith fundy.

Me too! Sometimes I look back and just shake my head! WendyDoh.gif

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I went to a fundy high school where I was taught it was a sin to even be female, and everything that happened to me was my fault, including being groped by another student. Also, I was evil for giving him a shiner.

Then I prayed fervently for the holy spirit to enter me so I'd understand and act better. I felt nothing, no revelations, so I blamed myself and attempted suicide. Makes perfect sense!

Yeah, I got nothing but self-loathing and depression from fundy christianity. You're not alone, not by a long shot.

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I agree with you Mudhoney. I suffered of depression after having starting deconverting. You realize that there is no Jesus and you just

have to deal with your depression.

Honestly, if the salvation was something so important, why does jesus not appear to poor people, those who once trusted in him ? It is

when you are out of all christianity that you realize the damages in your life, your brain. Sometimes it can happen the effect of being

in true world again when you must help yourself, there is no Lord to help you when you would need so. Christians and particulary those

who strongly believe in the bible have an incoherent language because as you said the bible is fake.

 

Thank you for sharing with us. I can tell you this website help me also. I realize we need to share our experience and receive understanding,

this is a good therapy.

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