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Pro-virginity, Anti-feminist Folks Make The Purity Myth Trailer Terrifying


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Pro-Virginity, Anti-Feminist Folks Make The Purity Myth Trailer Terrifying


Fans of the bestselling book The Purity Myth, rejoice. The film version is now available for your viewing pleasure on DVD, and, from the looks of the trailer, its per-minute truth bomb concentration is unprecedented. Finally, a cinematic alternative to the unstoppable, metastasized Fast & Furious franchise.
Jessica Valenti, author and founder of Feministing, penned The Purity Myth in response to cultural pressure women face to remain virgins until a handsome prince deflowers them after an elaborate, expensive ceremony.
The film visits the places the book visited, but since the antics of pro-virginity culture were captured on camera this time around, it's now infinitely more gif-able. From the creepy father-daughter "purity balls" where young women promise their dads that they won't let anyone's penis inside of them until God says it's okay to the fearmongering but charismatic pro-virginity speakers who claim a link between female sexual activity and sterility, parts of the film (like parts of the book) would be hilarious if they weren't so scary.




http://jezebel.com/5866297/purity-myth-trailer-will-make-you-want-to-cheer
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That purity ball thing sounded creepy as fuck to me. It's like you're making your daughter your property.

 

This whole purity thing is really bizarre in general.... female virginity is "priceless" for some reason while male virginity is worth nothing or is even viewed as a liability. Lots of the guys I went to high school with regarded being a male virgin past a certain age to be a shameful thing, like you weren't a real man until you got laid.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03GizVZCPvQ

 

that's one of four parts. It is creepily disturbing how the girls in the video have no problem essentially turning over all thought processes to daddy or daddy's pick of husband.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03GizVZCPvQ

 

that's one of four parts. It is creepily disturbing how the girls in the video have no problem essentially turning over all thought processes to daddy or daddy's pick of husband.

 

I could only make it through a few minutes of that. *shudders*

 

These girls are going to grow up to be so damaged that I doubt extensive therapy could sort out all the pieces.

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If you can make it to the first interviewee she talks about being a part of that movement and how it wrecked her life.

 

The other parts shift to people who are in it. One woman was 20 years old and still living at home because Daddy hadn't picked a husband. She calimed to have never had sex, kissed or even held hands with a boy. The epilogue text say her dad married her off to a captain in the Air Force later that year.

 

I can just imagine what it must be like to be married to someone with zero self-knowledge and a vocabulary of cliches.

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I forced myself to watch the whole thing. I feel ill.

 

 

I especially feel bad for that poor girl who had daddy hovering over her the whole time in the interviews. The damage is appalling and obvious in this short video.. she had no ideas of her own (daddy was practically finishing her sentences for her) and she was reduced to little more than an empty shell. This is child abuse.

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yeah by the end of it I wanted to take the Mitt Romey looking dude to an MMA ring and smash his head in. The son wasn't turning out any better.

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Okay that is great for bad examples. How about some good examples on the right way to raise a girl? Hey, I was raised in the Christian church and it's all I know. So I'm forging new territory. Help me out. I especially want to hear from the ladies. What is the right amount of advise and melding a father should provide?

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I remember "holding out" for the right man, and also attempting the "courtship" thing twice despite not having my dad around and my mother totally disagreeing with me on the concept. Then there were the rumors some friend's brother ( devout conservative Catholics) spread about me being a lesbian around the community college we three attended because at 26 I was a virgin, not dating (I was having a long distance "courtship" relationship with a Greek Orthodox man at the time), covered my cleavage at all times ( I didn't go as far as the Duggar girls and wore skirts all the time, but my cleavage was always covered up) didn't wear make up, and not married.

 

By the time I was 29 I was really concerned and confused about how people viewed my sexuality as I always thought of myself as "pure", straight, and ladylike, but there were many people ( conservative and liberal) who thought I was a lesbian or immature because of my lack of sexual experience ( I had only gone as so far as giving the one guy a courted a bj or two). When I turned 30 I decided "Oh, what the fuck!" and thought if I date a man, then I get heavy with him, it's better than struggling to be asexual because of some god telling me sex is bad.

 

By the way, this "sex is bad" talk reminds me of this movie:

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Purity. What is purity? I would rather have a wife that was pure of heart towards other's welfare than a woman who was a virgin but devoid of all humanity towards others. To me, that is not a person of purity. Purity extends beyond the physical limitations of a hymen.

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Purity. What is purity? I would rather have a wife that was pure of heart towards other's welfare than a woman who was a virgin but devoid of all humanity towards others. To me, that is not a person of purity. Purity extends beyond the physical limitations of a hymen.

 

 

I agree! I think there's these xtian women who become prideful in their virginity status that it boggles my mind as they think they are as perfect as their Jesus is cos' they still got a cherry. Even my born again Christian grandmother thinks virginity is worshiped too much in our culture, and that the virgin-whore dichotomy that women face these days is the reason we have these nasty beauty pageants and slutty clothes for little girls. She even noticed this trend is in the more conservative south, and it doesn't surprise her that in "liberal" California even though we have Hollywood many people find pageants and certain articles of clothing inappropriate for minors.

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She even noticed this trend is in the more conservative south, and it doesn't surprise her that in "liberal" California even though we have Hollywood many people find pageants and certain articles of clothing inappropriate for minors.

 

Oh please please please somebody tell people to stop wearing pajamas in public. Wendybanghead.gif

 

 

I don't know which is worse: when the underage girls do it or when the middle age men do it.

 

 

c r e e p y

 

unsure.png

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I love when men try to oppress women, and women try to undermine men. I love this battle of the sexes. It's so deliciously evil.

 

Men, go forth. Know you that women are frail and fickle. Know that if they are forced to choose between preserving a man's heart and bettering themselves, then they will better themselves.

 

Women, go forth. Know you that men are weak and stupid. Abuse them as they have abused you.

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Okay that is great for bad examples. How about some good examples on the right way to raise a girl? Hey, I was raised in the Christian church and it's all I know. So I'm forging new territory. Help me out. I especially want to hear from the ladies. What is the right amount of advise and melding a father should provide?

 

Hey MM,

 

Until I left home at the age of 14, I was raised by my mother in the church, where everything was "of the devil" especially anything sexual. And in foster care I spent two years with a single woman who was a Christian, so I was well and truly indoctrinated in the whole "be a virgin until marriage thing".

 

I did not really have a father figure until 3 years ago, when at the age of 23 when a beautiful couple, whom I now call mum and dad, came into my life. Dad's input into my life has been invaluable.

 

My dad has always been very open and honest with me. I am a very open and honest person, and dad's told me that some of the things I have come out with over the last three years have shocked him, because most girls don't talk to their fathers about the sorts of things I do with mine. But every time he's said that, he's always followed up with the exact same thing: that if he is shocked at something I've said, then that's his problem, not mine. He encourages me to talk openly with him, even if the subject makes him feel uncomfortable, and he is open and honest back. That openness of dialogue makes me feel comfortable about coming to him with my problems.

 

Dad is always careful to never judge me, and to be open-minded to everything I say, to discuss with me whatever subject we are talking about. That makes me feel validated as a person, not just a woman. He never puts down an opinion of mine, and instead says things like, "I never really thought of it that way", and then discusses the topic with me further.

 

Dad has been honest with me about how men view women, especially in relation to how we dress. This was important to me, as I came from a christian background that assumed that all men who are not chrstian do not respect women. He taught me that while women SHOULD be able to wear whatever they want without being disrespected by men , that that is not the case. However, he has also taught me that it is the attitude with which I wear the clothes I do that matters, and not so much the clothes themselves.

 

Dad has always supported my choices in men, even the wrong ones, and never turned around and outright said, that guy's a dick, fuck him off. However, because of the open dialogue he has built with me, when I come to him and say, this doesn't feel/seem right, and he tells me why he thinks it's not right, I will listen to him, because I know that he will be honest with me and only talk from a viewpoint of concern. By the same token, he will also tell me when I am over reacting and taking things out of context and give me the male perspective on the situation if he was in it. This is valuable to me, because it helps me consider the other side of the coin. At one stage there last year I was in a bad relationship, a lot of break-ups and make-ups. After the 20th if not more break-up in 8 months, I was talking to dad about taking the guy back yet again, because he had this way of always talking me around, and dad ALMOST said something, then stopped himself. That was a huge wake-up call for me, for my dad to get so frustrated with the situation that he almost said something. And it was all I needed to decide not to go back. The guy started calling and texting again, and I got dad to call him off my phone, and dad just said to him, "give it up mate. She's made up her mind, it's over." I never heard from the guy again.

 

So, MM, if you have daughters, I think the best thing you can do for them is foster an open and honest dialogue with them. Then you will be the person they turn to when they have problems with men. By treating them with respect and validaing their opinions and them, they will subconsciously look for that in a guy themselves. Your honesty regarding your own failings will also help give them more realistic expectations of men and relationships than the church does. And encourage in them an ability to think for themselves. Let them know that it's okay for them to have a different point of view, that you will never love them any less for thinking differently, because that will give them great freedom of thought if those perceived expectations of themselves are removed.

 

I was a fundy when my dad, a pagan, came into my life. He played a huge role also in the long process of my deconversion, simply because he fostered an open and honest dialogue with me, always respectful of my beliefs and point of view. It was the greatest challenge to my faith I ever came across. It made me question why a pagan treated me with more respect than christians had. It made me really question everything I thought about the world, the bible, christianity, and myself. It allowed me to explore new ideas. It was the greatest gift anyone could ever give me, and it is that much more special because it came from my dad, my best friend :)

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My dad has always been very open and honest with me. I am a very open and honest person, and dad's told me that some of the things I have come out with over the last three years have shocked him, because most girls don't talk to their fathers about the sorts of things I do with mine. But every time he's said that, he's always followed up with the exact same thing: that if he is shocked at something I've said, then that's his problem, not mine. He encourages me to talk openly with him, even if the subject makes him feel uncomfortable, and he is open and honest back. That openness of dialogue makes me feel comfortable about coming to him with my problems.

 

Dad is always careful to never judge me, and to be open-minded to everything I say, to discuss with me whatever subject we are talking about. That makes me feel validated as a person, not just a woman. He never puts down an opinion of mine, and instead says things like, "I never really thought of it that way", and then discusses the topic with me further.

 

Thank you for the advise. I'm going to have to save this and come back to it over and over again.

 

At one stage there last year I was in a bad relationship, a lot of break-ups and make-ups. After the 20th if not more break-up in 8 months, I was talking to dad about taking the guy back yet again, because he had this way of always talking me around, and dad ALMOST said something, then stopped himself. That was a huge wake-up call for me, for my dad to get so frustrated with the situation that he almost said something. And it was all I needed to decide not to go back.

 

I don't know that I could be that patient. I accept as a fact that my daughter will have sex and her choices will probably be different than who I would pick out for her (if we were still in the Bronze Age - as if). It is my hope that she won't get pregnant until after she graduates college and she is careful to not get any STD. But if the guy she picks is a real looser or has a toxic personality I don't think I could wait before warning her. Right now I think I will focus on telling my kids they need to be good parents. I don't care if they ever get married but being a good parent is important. I find marriage to be over rated and problematic. Love will do whatever it does and last however long it lasts. In my opinion a legal contract is an artificial baggage to the relationship. Your millage may very of course.

 

Thanks for your help. I will try to take your advise to heart and maybe I can be like your dad someday.

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She even noticed this trend is in the more conservative south, and it doesn't surprise her that in "liberal" California even though we have Hollywood many people find pageants and certain articles of clothing inappropriate for minors.

 

Oh please please please somebody tell people to stop wearing pajamas in public. Wendybanghead.gif

 

 

I don't know which is worse: when the underage girls do it or when the middle age men do it.

 

 

c r e e p y

 

unsure.png

 

I don't get what you're talking about. I mean as in clothes meant for little girls that looks like hooker clothes, or things meant for older teenagers made in smaller sizes for younger girls ( like under 14).

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She even noticed this trend is in the more conservative south, and it doesn't surprise her that in "liberal" California even though we have Hollywood many people find pageants and certain articles of clothing inappropriate for minors.

 

Oh please please please somebody tell people to stop wearing pajamas in public. Wendybanghead.gif

 

 

I don't know which is worse: when the underage girls do it or when the middle age men do it.

 

 

c r e e p y

 

unsure.png

 

I don't get what you're talking about. I mean as in clothes meant for little girls that looks like hooker clothes, or things meant for older teenagers made in smaller sizes for younger girls ( like under 14).

 

I mean I am shopping at Walmart and a 15 year old girl walks by wearing nothing but satin pajamas. Then a few minutes later a 48 year old unshaved guy walks up behind me wearing nothing but flannel pajamas. It's even worse if I have my kids there. Uh . . . I'm sorry for violating your privacy while I was trying to shop. Is this your bedroom? Where can I shop that isn't your bedroom? I guess the moral is don't go to Walmart.

 

Edit: I guess I come from an older generation where pajamas were a sign of intimacy. I was raised to only wear them around close family. I guess some people don't feel that way about it but they need to respect how their attire affects everyone else.

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My dad has always been very open and honest with me. I am a very open and honest person, and dad's told me that some of the things I have come out with over the last three years have shocked him, because most girls don't talk to their fathers about the sorts of things I do with mine. But every time he's said that, he's always followed up with the exact same thing: that if he is shocked at something I've said, then that's his problem, not mine. He encourages me to talk openly with him, even if the subject makes him feel uncomfortable, and he is open and honest back. That openness of dialogue makes me feel comfortable about coming to him with my problems.

 

Dad is always careful to never judge me, and to be open-minded to everything I say, to discuss with me whatever subject we are talking about. That makes me feel validated as a person, not just a woman. He never puts down an opinion of mine, and instead says things like, "I never really thought of it that way", and then discusses the topic with me further.

 

Thank you for the advise. I'm going to have to save this and come back to it over and over again.

 

At one stage there last year I was in a bad relationship, a lot of break-ups and make-ups. After the 20th if not more break-up in 8 months, I was talking to dad about taking the guy back yet again, because he had this way of always talking me around, and dad ALMOST said something, then stopped himself. That was a huge wake-up call for me, for my dad to get so frustrated with the situation that he almost said something. And it was all I needed to decide not to go back.

 

I don't know that I could be that patient. I accept as a fact that my daughter will have sex and her choices will probably be different than who I would pick out for her (if we were still in the Bronze Age - as if). It is my hope that she won't get pregnant until after she graduates college and she is careful to not get any STD. But if the guy she picks is a real looser or has a toxic personality I don't think I could wait before warning her. Right now I think I will focus on telling my kids they need to be good parents. I don't care if they ever get married but being a good parent is important. I find marriage to be over rated and problematic. Love will do whatever it does and last however long it lasts. In my opinion a legal contract is an artificial baggage to the relationship. Your millage may very of course.

 

Thanks for your help. I will try to take your advise to heart and maybe I can be like your dad someday.

 

You're welcome, MM :)

 

I would say just focus on being honest with her- don't be afraid to apologise and admit when you are wrong. She will be more likely to listen to you then.

 

I can appreciate how hard it is to bite your tongue- I am not the best at it. Right now I have a friend who is a few years younger than me. She is a beautiful, intelligent, 21 year old, who has her life ahead of her. But she is being held back by the guy she is with. He is controlling and belittles her, and I bit my tongue and bit my ongue until finally I told her that I felt she was in a bad relationship, and all the reasons why. I told her that I love her, and that I will support her whatever decision she makes, because it is her happiness that means the most to me. I continue to point out gently the problems I see, but continue to reaffirm that her happiness is most important to me, and that I will be her friend regardless.

 

In a few weeks she and this guy will be moving in together. I can't prevent it from happening, but I can help her be realistic. I told her she made a good decision getting a two bedroom place, because if things turn sour, she won't be able to afford the place on her own, so I told her she made a good move there in that she could always get a flatmate if need be. As we have looked at furniture, I've told her to get the stuff in her name and to be mindful of interest-free payment plans- not to assume his income when she calculates how much she can afford, but to work on the proviso that she will be paying it off by herself. It is so hard to watch, and I don't expect them to last forever, but at least when the time comes she shouldn't be left in the lurch financially. And in the meantime I focus on building her up as a person. I encourage her to be strong and independent within herself. She reminds me so much of myself at that age, but I had no-one to have these conversations with, and ended up in a whole world of trouble. So it's not necessarily a bad thing to speak up, but there is a way to do it. Let her come to you, speak gently, and don't ever treat her as a child- speak to her as an adult. And I understand it may be hard to speak to her as an adult, because she is your very own daughter- just be honest with her about that. Tell her you're trying to speak to her on an adult level, it's difficult for you as her father, and apologise in advance if anything you say comes across as anything less. In my experience it can be rare for a parent to be that honest with their child, or adults in general with children, so I've always listened more to those who are honest with me :)

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She even noticed this trend is in the more conservative south, and it doesn't surprise her that in "liberal" California even though we have Hollywood many people find pageants and certain articles of clothing inappropriate for minors.

 

Oh please please please somebody tell people to stop wearing pajamas in public. Wendybanghead.gif

 

 

I don't know which is worse: when the underage girls do it or when the middle age men do it.

 

 

c r e e p y

 

unsure.png

 

I don't get what you're talking about. I mean as in clothes meant for little girls that looks like hooker clothes, or things meant for older teenagers made in smaller sizes for younger girls ( like under 14).

 

I mean I am shopping at Walmart and a 15 year old girl walks by wearing nothing but satin pajamas. Then a few minutes later a 48 year old unshaved guy walks up behind me wearing nothing but flannel pajamas. It's even worse if I have my kids there. Uh . . . I'm sorry for violating your privacy while I was trying to shop. Is this your bedroom? Where can I shop that isn't your bedroom? I guess the moral is don't go to Walmart.

 

Edit: I guess I come from an older generation where pajamas were a sign of intimacy. I was raised to only wear them around close family. I guess some people don't feel that way about it but they need to respect how their attire affects everyone else.

 

If you really want a taste of what's fashionable for shopping at Walmart, I highly recommend that you visit http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

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I mean I am shopping at Walmart and a 15 year old girl walks by wearing nothing but satin pajamas. Then a few minutes later a 48 year old unshaved guy walks up behind me wearing nothing but flannel pajamas. It's even worse if I have my kids there. Uh . . . I'm sorry for violating your privacy while I was trying to shop. Is this your bedroom? Where can I shop that isn't your bedroom? I guess the moral is don't go to Walmart.

 

Edit: I guess I come from an older generation where pajamas were a sign of intimacy. I was raised to only wear them around close family. I guess some people don't feel that way about it but they need to respect how their attire affects everyone else.

 

 

Also what is bad is when these guys with their pants sagging, and here xtians get onto women about showing cleavage. Well, front cleavage is something that can be aesthetically pleasing to guys, but I don't get turned on by "back cleavage" as in male ass crack. This summer I had a guy wearing those baggy pants, and when I walked by him he pulled them up quick but to show off his nuts when he was pulling them up tightly pass his belly button. :rolleyes:

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Also what is bad is when these guys with their pants sagging, and here xtians get onto women about showing cleavage. Well, front cleavage is something that can be aesthetically pleasing to guys, but I don't get turned on by "back cleavage" as in male ass crack. This summer I had a guy wearing those baggy pants, and when I walked by him he pulled them up quick but to show off his nuts when he was pulling them up tightly pass his belly button. rolleyes.gif

 

Yeah, nothing like a crack problem to turn a girl off!

 

Slightly off topic, but I saw a commercial for that new tv show All-American Muslim where a roomful of muslim men were on their knees praying, bending over/bowing as they do, and smack-dab in the middle of the screen for all tv-land to see was The Crack Problem. ---EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW--- Wendytwitch.gifugh.gif49.gifRidigwoopsie.gif

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Also what is bad is when these guys with their pants sagging, and here xtians get onto women about showing cleavage. Well, front cleavage is something that can be aesthetically pleasing to guys, but I don't get turned on by "back cleavage" as in male ass crack. This summer I had a guy wearing those baggy pants, and when I walked by him he pulled them up quick but to show off his nuts when he was pulling them up tightly pass his belly button. rolleyes.gif

 

Yeah, nothing like a crack problem to turn a girl off!

 

Slightly off topic, but I saw a commercial for that new tv show All-American Muslim where a roomful of muslim men were on their knees praying, bending over/bowing as they do, and smack-dab in the middle of the screen for all tv-land to see was The Crack Problem. ---EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW--- Wendytwitch.gifugh.gif49.gifRidigwoopsie.gif

 

We've all seen videos where they're lined up in a near perfect grid. There's nothing like bending down and having your nose inches away from the ass of the guy in front of you when you're praying. I mean, what if the guy in front of you farts in the middle of the prayer?

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What I find more disturbing is the "You're either pure or not." mentality that stems from this, where society views women who are virgins as pure but as soon as she has JUST ONE sexual experience outside of wedlock she's a SLUUUUUUUUUUUT. That does not make any goddamn sense at all.

 

A slut, as I see it, is a woman with zero sense of loyalty that will cheat on the drop of the dime and cannot count the number of men she has done it with. It has almost nothing to do with virginity. An interesting thing is I once knew a girl who was a virgin but would still jump from man to man for shallow one or two week relationships and just used the men as emotional support for herself. Then as soon as that "new relationship high" wore off she would dump the guy with no regards to his feelings and just jump to the next man. As far as I know and hearing from her past boyfriends, she never slept with any of them. Moral of the story: virginity has little to do with honor, loyalty, kindness, or any of that crap. A girl can still be a selfish brat with or without her V-card.

 

The worst part about this mentality is that it rubs off on woman. Girls who lose their V-card out of wedlock end up thinking "WHELP I blew it might as well become a real slut since that's what everyone thinks of me anyways!". The result of this makes it very hard to find sane woman. Maybe I am just terribly unlucky, but every girl I have been with has either been a total wait-for-prince-charming prude or she wanted to fuck within the first few hours of meeting. Finding a good woman, one who views sex as something to be done between two people who are in love and want to deepen their relationship marriage and contracts be damned, seems to be a much harder find than it should be.

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