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Goodbye Jesus

My Conversion From Christianity To Atheism


Gunvalk

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My name is Austin, I'm 20 years old, and for most of my life I was a closet Atheist. My parents were devout believers in the Christian faith, so when it came time to enroll me in school they chose private Christian education. The school I attended was called Grace Christian School, and their institution educated children from Kindergarden all the way up to 12th grade. Even at a young age of five or six, instead of showing us the importance of reading, writing, and math they first wanted to instill in us the existance of a "loving" God and a firey eternal hell. They had their own Christian produced textbooks that taught God in every subject. I wish you could see their "science" books, you would be furious. They taught that the world waas 10,000 years old, and that the reason we have fossils today was from the compacted sediment of "the great flood." It taught almost nothing of Evolution, and what it did was completely wrong, stating that we evolved from monkeys and that there was no macro or micro proof of Evolution. I believed these lies because I was taught this basically from birth. Every day we would have a 30 minute chapel (church service) in the church connected to the school. After chapel we'd then have a 45 minute Bible class each day where we would be taught a more indept message as well as writing a verse for memory each day. They then tested and quized us on Bible ciricumlum and a grade was given. If you did not pass Bible class, you could not recieve a high school deploma. We were also expected to attend their church on Wednesday nights and Sundays for services. I always had trouble believing in God, that "invisible man in the sky," but every time I doubted it they'd be there ready to scare the hell out of me, or back in me should I say. I asked Jesus to my savour again and again, out of fear not belief. Finally, at age 16 I convinced my parents to send me to a public high school. I was in complete culture shock which led me into depresssion and drug abuse. Several years passed and I was finally able to clean up my act around age 19. Once I was no longer under the influence of drugs, I marvelled at the use of my brain again. At that point I started doing research in many different scientific areas out of my own interest, one of which was Evolution. I was awe struck at how much sense it made to me, everything was proven and calculated by science. This led me to read the book The God Delusion. From that point on I was 100% I was an Atheist, and to beat it all I wasn't scared to say it anymore. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and God is nonexistent in my life! I finally can see the true beauty in the world and in science. It's much more amazing to know and understand the processess that created the universe, than to just say an invisible man made everything. The thing that genuinely bothers me about my experience at Grace Christian School is that I consider myself an intelligent person, and for years I followed with blind faith. Not only blind faith, but with an underlying feeling that what I believed was wrong. I fear that many people out there who lack intelligence and proper reasoning skills are stuck in this perpetual lie. Many people who believe in God aren't happy, I know I wasn't, so it's a falsification for Christians to say religion brings everyone comfort. Thank you guys for reading my story. And since I know the Bible like the back of my hand I know I'll land this little line in here for sincerity: Fuck God, Fuck Jesus Christ, and Fuck the Holy Spirit. I denounce the existence of the Holy Spirit as well as Jesus Christ and God.

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Welcome to ex-C, gunvalk. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Thank you for your story. I couldn't imagine going to Christian school for that long. What drugs did you take? Fuck the Holy Ghost.

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"I'm the happiest I've ever been"

 

Hello Gunvalk, thank you for sharing your story! This quote of yours is true of me as well since I deconverted. Although I'm also angry at the lies and wasted time, I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. it's a truly liberating feeling. I also liked this quotes of yours: "Fuck God, Fuck Jesus Christ, and Fuck the Holy Spirit." :)

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Thank you for your story. I couldn't imagine going to Christian school for that long. What drugs did you take? Fuck the Holy Ghost.

 

Well it was more like what didn't I take. Cocaine, Heroine (powder form), DMT, LSD, PCP, Marijuana (although I don't really consider this a drug), Ecstasy, pure MDMA (mollie) , snorted Xanax, Oxycontin, took Trazadone does of 800mg, did Nitrous, computer duster, and mixed everything with alcohol. Basically I wanted to die lol. The wake up call I got from drugs was Radial Neuropathy in my left hand. I can barely use it now, and it has no feeling. I consider myself very lucky.

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Welcome to Ex-C, GunValk :)

 

I went to a Christian school, too, though only for three years from the beginning for Year 4 to the end of Year 6. Talk about religion overload! Unfortunately it took me years to walk away from all that Christian garbage. I truly believed, and what questions I did have I happily accepted the apologists answers to. Even after the breakdown of my marriage to a "good Christian man" and the impact that that had on my faith, I still tried so hard to cling to it. I really didn't mean to lose it, but I'm glad I did. What a dumbarse I was back then!

 

It's good to have you here, hope you stick around :)

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Welcome Gunvalk! I have a 19 year old son named Austin, and for a moment I thought maybe you were him LOLOL I was brought up in a mega Christian home as well, and it took me until 40 to get out. Good for you for getting out while you still have your whole life ahead of you. Glad you got off the drugs too, now you can enjoy your newfound freedom :)

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Welcome to the boards, Austin. I enjoyed reading your post. It sounds very familiar to the life I had before I moved out on my own.

 

I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life too. Letting go of Christianity was incredibly liberating and now I feel free. About 2 years ago, as I was quickly falling further away from Christianity, I decided to devote a couple minutes each morning to reading the Bible, just to see if it affected me in any way. I had a bad reaction to it, it brought me back to my miserable childhood, and within a month I said 'fuck this', and put away the Bible forever. That was the last straw.

 

Apparently I still haven't let go completely. I was talking to my brother about this recently, and he said if you truly don't believe in Christianity, then say out loud "Jesus I rebuke you and curse you". And for some reason, I wasn't able to do it. It must've really held a grip on me. Also, whenever I feel completely helpless, like the time my dentist said I had a 50% chance of loosing a tooth, I reverted back to my old self and said a quick prayer. Other than those occasional moments, I never pray, never read the Bible, and am absolutely positive that it's all a lie.

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Welcome to Ex-C Gunvalk. Glad you recovered from the drug use. I went to a church school from 5th grade to graduation. I just de-coverted at 38 years old. You are fortunate to be rational while you are still young :)

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Hey, there! I also went to christian school for 4 years and I understand what you're saying. My school was fundamentalist although comparing to yours it was quite liberal! :) We did learn "normal" science, philosophy etc. but some things were not allowed to mention too much, like Friedrich Nietzsche. But, religion class was very strict (you can read my story here). I also noticed their abnormal value system. For example, it didn't really matter if you are a good student, what talents you have etc.The only thing that mattered was - are you a true believer. I felt like a zero in the school, although I was a pretty good student with good manners.

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