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Goodbye Jesus

Christmas With Christians?


kruszer

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Who else spent Christmas in the company of Christians, in particular Christian family? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Are your family members aware of your disbelief? As of how long? Are they supportive/respectful of your lack of faith?

 

How did you feel while partaking of overtly Jesusy festivities? Do you feel uncomfortable with all the Biblical declarations, the praying and the Christian hymns? Are you saddened at all because you miss the time in your life when the season was magical and meaningful and the baby in the manger was a real person you knew? Or do you tend to pity/inwardly laugh at those you are with because of their naive outlook?

 

In family gatherings, in particular those of a religious nature like Christmas, do you tend to talk about your current faith or lackthereof, or do you or your family try to pretend that nothing is amiss and agree to disagree?

 

And in conjunction with the above questions, for those who have been ex-Christians for more than a couple of years, have your Christmas experiences changed over the years?

 

Thanks for sharing! (I'll share as well, once I've had the chance to sleep a little). :)

 

Kristine

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It hurts my brain just thinking about it.

To answer your question I spent ex-mas just with my immediate family and the one Christian does not know all the details of my atheism. However at Thanksgiving I saw the whole clan in all their moonbat glory. While I was there I did my best to pretend that I believe Trinity is real. I don't cross the line into lying but I'm proactive about avoiding the issue and avoiding situations where it might come up.

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Yes, I spent a "wonderful" Christimas day with my twisted Christian parents. My parents learned of my lack of faith back in 2004 and they are not supportive of it at all.

 

My father asked me while eating yesterday, "Are you still brain dead and not believing in God?" I lied and said yes I believe, to keep him from ranting and raving, embarrassing me but he continued anyways. He started ranting, raving and then insulted my husband for having his faith. The 2 hour long visit ended with me feeling like an idiot for trying to get my husband to connect with my parents, who are not even connected with me.

 

Then we went to our Muslim friends house and the super religious 9 yr old runs to me with a troop of her cousins and asked if it's true scientist proved 2012 isn't going to happen and the end of the world is near, HUH! They saw some video on youtube by Christians. I told them to all calm down, the end of the world should not be a concern to them because they are children and God knows their hearts are innocent. They all started to agree, then ran off to fight over candy canes and make fun of a malnurished 5 yr old with rotten teeth. I love humans.

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I had Christmas with the Christian parents and siblings, as always. There was no Jesus-y stuff at all except that silly Fox program Dad watched about the birth of Jesus while everyone slept off the big meal. My parents are not overtly religious and they are aware of my apostasy. Mom is supportive, Dad is not, but he keeps his mouth shut unless someone else brings it up.

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My parents live 1,200 miles away, and I'm basically broke with no vacation so nothing much to do. My mother called, and I enjoyed speaking to her - I love her, she is my life, although she is a fundy. I think they know I don't believe, but I have not come out with the full extent of my unbelief (I just can't do it to them).

 

When I told her I got a nice Christmas bonus (with which I am finally able to buy some clothes) my father yells in the background "praise the Lord", Ughh..

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I had a Christmas weekend my fundy family. They are aware of my heathenism, but usually don't pipe up much about it. I did attend a Christmas Eve service at their church, which I actually didn't mind. I enjoyed going, but not for the reasons they would like. I found it absolutely hilarious and almost burst out laughing a few times. My favorite part is when the lights dim and the guitarist will slowly strum the guitar and get everyone "in the mood" for Jeebus.

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I was with my family at church since I still live with them. They aren't aware that I'm an atheist and I have a feeling that if they found out that they would react by saying how ridiculous I am and how I have no right to criticize the Bible because I haven't read it enough and dad went to Bible school so he knows everything and blah blah blah...

 

There was a sermon. It was the typical repackaged "Join us and become Christbots because Jesus loves you so damn much" sort of sermon. In fact, every sermon I hear anymore is like that. Then on the way home I heard "Jesus is the reason for the season" from my mom several times and tried my best to just keep my mouth shut. Then she said it again the next day and again, I refrained from pointing out that Jesus is, in fact, NOT the reason for the season. Dad went on about how much he hates the commercialism of Xmas and how he wishes everyone would go back to the basics and celebrate Xmas by worshiping Jesus.

 

Then dad tumbled to the floor with the TV and broke it while trying to get the Wii to work. We had to put up a sheet on the wall and use dad's projector.

 

Then my crazy as shit aunt came over and started the "Jesus is the reason for the season" nonsense. Her boyfriend came too and had a pinkish guitar for some reason that was horribly out of tune. We had discovered earlier that she had literally stolen ALL of our Xmas ornaments AND our tree lights.

 

We had smoked ham, homemade mac n' cheese, peas and mashed potatoes for dinner. Then they all looked at picture albums, ate pie and watched Paranormal Activity 3. I, on the other hand, skipped the pie, picture albums and movie that would likely give me nightmares for weeks and instead went to my room to watch my non-broken TV and snuggled with my parrot who had freaked out over having so many people in the house he didn't know at the same time.

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We havent had our christmas yet, too many people sick right now... we are going to have it on new years. However, I called my dad and got into an argument about saying happy holidays. He said merry christmas and I said happy holidays so he started lecturing me about how it is merry christmas. I promptly told him that until he calls me to wish me a joyous yule I should not feel obligated to wish him a merry christmas. Yeah, I learned to be a dick from him.

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I spent this christmas even better than i had imagined. It was my first christmas while my family knows that i'm not beliver. During Christmas Eve dinner when we wish each other, even my mom didn't wish me to go back to a faith, she just said: You know what I want for you. This day exceptionnally I was singing with them christmas carrols, i don't why i did it but i fought i can make this day an exception. Secondly, for me christmas carrols are more folk songs than religeous ones. So no discussion about my no-faith. Just good time spent with family.

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Thanks for sharing, everyone! Glad to know I'm not the only one who has to struggle with being the black sheep of the family.

 

On my end, my family and I have never had a formal talk about my lack of faith, at least not recently. I've been struggling for years with trusting God and I'm pretty sure they read my FB posts, many of which openly challenge the Bible and assumptions about Christianity, but if they are aware that I am overtly and officially an ex-Christian, it hasn't come up into conversation yet.

 

I sat through Christmas morning service and did the obligatory smile and how-are-you with my old church peers, and like many others here, if I'm not overly asked how I'm doing spiritually, it's often easier to not give anyone an excuse to feel spiritual sympathy for my lost soul. I don't generally mind people praying for me (I'm an agnostic-atheist right now, but agnostic enough to figure there's always a small measly chance that prayer could help - as much as lighting a candle or sending positive thoughts out to the universe on my behalf), but I'm not fond of prayers for my salvation. I don't like Christians acting like they could simply talk God into making real in my heart what I tried and prayed and wanted to make real for more than 25 years. I feel like if my soul could be saved it would've been saved by now if there was a God who wanted to save it.

 

Christmas was unique for me this year as it's my first Christmas since I have fully owned my agnosticism by coming out to myself and to a gradual number of close friends about my lack of faith. In a way it was refreshing. The Jesus story was no more of a big deal to me than the Santa story and I felt a little like a kid who'd been let in on the grown-up secret about Santa (I know something you don't know!)

 

I don't feel hostile to either story, but I did feel a little sad that the magic of Jesus' birthday was lost to me forever. But for the first Christmas in years I was able to enjoy my family and my time with them without having a dialog in my head with God about why he'd denied me the blessings he'd given my brothers - that of marriage and family and good health. Now my life is still a lonely mess of health challenges but not feeling betrayed by the most powerful being in the universe does wonders to the psyche!

 

Happy holidays to all, and to all a goodnight :)

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This day exceptionnally I was singing with them christmas carrols, i don't why i did it but i fought i can make this day an exception. Secondly, for me christmas carrols are more folk songs than religeous ones. So no discussion about my no-faith. Just good time spent with family.

 

Agreed. Just like I could sing Amazing Grace at a funeral. Some things are part of the culture. Kids in my family were not raised to believe in Santa, but we had fun singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "I Believe in Santa Claus". Tradition is not necessarily religion.

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I made a visit to my fundy father today. It went well, this time he didn't preach to me, other than mentioning once how the end is near and we are in the home straight and how everything is lining up for the great showdown. They are waiting for Israel to attack Iran, they think it would be a good thing, I guess, because it would finally trigger the great showdown.

 

I got two Xtian books as Xmas gift from him. One is "Global Warning" by Tim LaHaye and Ed Hindson: http://www.amazon.com/Global-Warning-Are-Brink-World/dp/0736921451

 

Some fear-mongering, end times book.

 

The other is maybe not explicitly Xtian, but it was published by the publisher of their church. It's called "The Fight for Jerusalem" by Dore Gold: http://www.amazon.com/Fight-Jerusalem-Radical-Islam-Future/dp/159698029X

 

 

I looked up what Wikipedia says about the guy:

 

"Dore Gold is an Israeli statesman who has served in various diplomatic positions under several Israeli governments. He is the current President of the Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs. He also served as an advisor to former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during his first term in office."

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dore_Gold

 

 

 

Maybe I will read them one day just for a laugh. Especially the LaHaye book promises to be lots of fun.

 

Poor dad. If he knew.

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I got two Xtian books as Xmas gift from him... Maybe I will read them one day just for a laugh.

 

My parents have been giving me Christian books for years, in an attempt to resolve my spiritual questions. I've gotten the Neil Anderson "Victory" series, a ton of stuff by Joyce Meyer (including Battlefield of the Mind and Beauty for Ashes), a bunch of Beth Moore books and some apologetics books.

 

This year I got a $50 grocery store gift-card. :)

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I saw a wonderful T-shirt that read "Axial tilt is the reason for the season!"

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Who else spent Christmas in the company of Christians, in particular Christian family? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Are your family members aware of your disbelief? As of how long? Are they supportive/respectful of your lack of faith?

 

How did you feel while partaking of overtly Jesusy festivities? Do you feel uncomfortable with all the Biblical declarations, the praying and the Christian hymns? Are you saddened at all because you miss the time in your life when the season was magical and meaningful and the baby in the manger was a real person you knew? Or do you tend to pity/inwardly laugh at those you are with because of their naive outlook?

 

In family gatherings, in particular those of a religious nature like Christmas, do you tend to talk about your current faith or lackthereof, or do you or your family try to pretend that nothing is amiss and agree to disagree?

 

And in conjunction with the above questions, for those who have been ex-Christians for more than a couple of years, have your Christmas experiences changed over the years?

 

Thanks for sharing! (I'll share as well, once I've had the chance to sleep a little). smile.png

 

Kristine

 

Yes, I spend Xmas with some Christians. My entire family, save for one lesbian cousin is Christian. My brother is respectful about it. The rest of my family isn't that "disrespectful" and they no longer try to convert me except the occasional feeble attempt to invite me to church. There isn't anything overtly "Jesus-y" about our Xmas festivities except for midnight mass at the Episcopal church. I go because I like the service. My family is Pentecostal so it's a compromise for them as well.

 

I think the service is pretty and overall uplifting save for a mild bit of masochistic superstition. I love the music, the chanting of the Psalms. I don't stand or kneel or participate in any way. We sit in the back and I just observe everything. If I didn't want to go, I wouldn't go but I honestly don't mind visiting the Episcopal church once a year. I don't feel like I will "catch a bad case of the Jesus" by doing that.

 

My husband is an atheist, so no trouble there. My best friend is an atheist. Same thing. My other friends are mostly Christian but they are moderate Christians and are respectful/accepting.

 

Things used to be more difficult with my family but it has mellowed out considerably over the years.

 

With praying... that really only happens over the meal, and that happens for ANY formal meal at my parents' house, not just Xmas. I basically just sit there. I don't close my eyes or bow my head. Sometimes I eat. (But quietly.) I don't feel compelled to show a great deal of respect for a grown adult conversing with his imaginary friend and holding up my dinner in the process.

 

As far as declarations such as "Jesus is the reason for the season", I just think they are woefully misinformed and I always chuckle a little looking over at their GIANT pagan symbol erected in the living room with the TEEEENY TINY nativity scene, if they even have one.

 

I still think of the season as meaningful and magical. I love the Xmas lights and actually knowing the true pagan origins of Xmas allows me to connect much more deeply with the holiday than I did when I was Christian. I like the symbolism behind celebrating the winter solstice and I like to tell people I celebrate Saturnalia. (In reality we are ALL celebrating Saturnalia...even the Christians... the gift thing... totally Saturnalia. LOL)

 

My brother and I had a discussion about my beliefs over the holidays (a respectful discussion). No one else in my family wants to touch it. I think they are afraid to shake their own faith.

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I had a Christmas weekend my fundy family. They are aware of my heathenism, but usually don't pipe up much about it. I did attend a Christmas Eve service at their church, which I actually didn't mind. I enjoyed going, but not for the reasons they would like. I found it absolutely hilarious and almost burst out laughing a few times. My favorite part is when the lights dim and the guitarist will slowly strum the guitar and get everyone "in the mood" for Jeebus.

 

OH! You made me think of something funny. During the service... the priest in his message said something like he'd heard a message where someone had said: "Christianity is serious business." Well... he'd led up to this by using the word "punchline", so, I thought, naturally, that he was making a joke of some sort which he would further expound on. I sort of snorted. My husband looked over at me, shocked, and later he wanted to know why I'd laughed at the priest.

 

DUDE I THOUGHT he was making a JOKE! hahahaha. I mean... you can't use the phrase "Blank is serious business" without conjuring up misspelling (bizness) and LOLcats. If you want to be serious, you just can't use that phrase. Maybe the priest didn't know that, but someone should tell him so he doesn't pull that gem out next year.

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I got two Xtian books as Xmas gift from him. One is "Global Warning" by Tim LaHaye and Ed Hindson: http://www.amazon.co...d/dp/0736921451

 

Some fear-mongering, end times book.

 

 

I got a book from my brother. I said: "This better not be a 'come back to Jesus' book". It wasn't. It was a Michael Jackson book. :) Oh how well he knows me.

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My family does not hand out religious stuff at xmas, they prefer to preach about it instead. But this year they did not, which was unusual. Another part of the family sings happy birthday to Jesus on Christmas. My wife and I still get shivers when we think of that! We thought it was a real birthday for someone real until they got to 'Jesus'. Ick!

 

santababy.jpg

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I saw a wonderful T-shirt that read "Axial tilt is the reason for the season!"

 

lol! :D

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No one else in my family wants to touch it. I think they are afraid to shake their own faith.

 

That's been my experience so far as well. I'm pretty sure they know (they seem to follow my FB closely enough so they'd be hard-pressed to miss all the "Christianity is stupid because of X" debates I've inadvertently started on my wall. But the closest anyone came to addressing my lack-of-faith happened yesterday when I hosted a post-Christmas meal at my place and my brother suggested with an air of tongue-in-cheek that I give the blessing. I declined vehemently and the matter was dropped.

 

Shame really. I'm kind of looking forward to tearing holes in their faith and giving them one more reason to wish we weren't related :P I'm looking forward someday to being the aunt who deconverts my nieces and nephews when they come to me in their evangelical zeal to share the gospel with me. :)

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I had my first Christmas as a full-on atheist. It was the best Christmas ever because there was no more gazing into the abyss of existential angst. Of course, I am still 'in the closet' with my fundy family with whom I spent Christmas for the first time in a decade.

 

I sang religious carols heartily around the familial piano, realizing they depict impotent myths handed down from bronze age men. I changed a few words (brotherhood became sisterhood, etc.) to irk the fundies and appease my feminist demons. I challenged my uberfundy sister-in-law about her lunatic notions (she declared initially that "the Bible is the standard for all truth") and it was fun to paint her into an intellectual corner. wicked.gif No one asked me to pray--that's a first.

 

Ah yes. Christmas just got good. smile.png

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Christmas was horrible for me, and probably the last xmas I will have with my whole family. My mother and father are hardcore xtians and so is my older brother. Usually, we ALWAYS go to christmas eve mass no matter what. Its not a question. They have know about my atheism for years and years, and have never accepted me, of course. They just assume I will go to the service, not even a, "are you going to the service tonite?", no, they just freaking assume!!!! I went of course, being the good person I am (isnt funny how atheists tend to kinder, wiser and more mature than xtians??) and just sat there. I am tired of holding hands and being forced to pray at the table, and never have anyone even SLIGHTLY respect my view point. IM DONE!!!! No more.....

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Christmas was horrible for me, and probably the last xmas I will have with my whole family.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

.....I am tired of holding hands and being forced to pray at the table, and never have anyone even SLIGHTLY respect my view point. IM DONE!!!! No more.....

Oh dear. You are in a really tough spot, smg6585. My heart goes out to you!

 

I'm having a hard time understanding why, as you suggest, atheists can suck it up and attend cultural/religious events, but Xians can't cross that same line towards our perspective (this has also been my experience). Maybe it's because they are certain they are right, but we have lost our certainty and are less likely to claim exclusive knowledge of truth.

 

[internet hugs to you!]

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