Kaiser01 Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 so today my mom asked me to let her use my laptop and i agreed reluctantly becuase i always feared her searching my history. she had taken my laptop several times before and managed to find nothing as she didnt know how to check history but today was difrent... she came across it with my whole faimly sitting there on the couch with her. so she starts scrolling around i geuss and then calls my name to come in there, i suspect she is done and wants me to take it back but boy im in for a shock. she starts reading off the catagories of topics and my skin turns cold. she then ask "hat is this?" and i go into total denial. as i said before i was planning on telling them about my atheism but this was not how i wanted to do it. i do my best to keep my cool and from starting to look like i lying because by this time im petrified and i just keep deniing it. i tell her it was probly from the virus i just had on my computer but i can tell she didint buy it. my mother has been having her doubts about me latly i think... but tonight sealed the deal she knows and so does my father. i never went out and said im a atheist i just claimed i had no idea what the website was but i think the cats out of the bag. i hope she never comes back to this website... earie thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I'm really sorry to hear that they found it and I hope everything works out okay for you. I remember when I saw one of my friends browsing the forum on my macbook; I nearly died, so I can understand how horrifying it must be for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 What is the worst possible scenario if your parents find out? Think about it realistically. Also a suggestion.....delete your history every time you log off. yea i used to do it all the time but i got real lax about it i geuss i need to start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 invading your privacy? why are they looking into your laptop history? well, all things works for good, maybe it is time for them to discover the beauty of exC for 2012,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 What is the worst possible scenario if your parents find out? Think about it realistically. Also a suggestion.....delete your history every time you log off. yea i used to do it all the time but i got real lax about it i geuss i need to start. It's actually a whole lot easier if you just open in private browsing every time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 If you don't care about lying, you could always say you were witnessing to us but you were embarrassed about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 If you don't care about lying, you could always say you were witnessing to us but you were embarrassed about it. i actualy thought about that but it ould only dig me a deeper hole in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wester Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Very sorry to hear this. I would shut down access to my computer from my parents. Password protect everything. Encrypt your history folder or just don't record history. Switch around browsers. Leave the IE or Firefox icon on your desktop but regularly use Chrome or some other browser. Force a login every time you boot your computer. Dual boot with 2 different operating systems. This kind of work is annoying and time consuming, but .... You should draw a line in the sand about your privacy. Otherwise you'll be a sitting duck for more than just your browsing history. These kinds of self-protective actions might cause tension in the family, but you should develop a habit of defending yourself - even from your family, especially if it will lead to trauma and persecution. America and England are the total surveillance societies (see John Pointdexter's "Total Information Awareness" concept developed during Reagan), and the dogma of the CCTV camera sky daddy has been ruthlessly internalized by the christian hoards who see no use whatsoever for privacy when it comes to towing the groupthinc party line. Here's wishing you a happy and paranoid new year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 so today my mom asked me to let her use my laptop and i agreed reluctantly becuase i always feared her searching my history. she had taken my laptop several times before and managed to find nothing as she didnt know how to check history but today was difrent... she came across it with my whole faimly sitting there on the couch with her. so she starts scrolling around i geuss and then calls my name to come in there, i suspect she is done and wants me to take it back but boy im in for a shock. she starts reading off the catagories of topics and my skin turns cold. she then ask "hat is this?" and i go into total denial. as i said before i was planning on telling them about my atheism but this was not how i wanted to do it. i do my best to keep my cool and from starting to look like i lying because by this time im petrified and i just keep deniing it. i tell her it was probly from the virus i just had on my computer but i can tell she didint buy it. my mother has been having her doubts about me latly i think... but tonight sealed the deal she knows and so does my father. i never went out and said im a atheist i just claimed i had no idea what the website was but i think the cats out of the bag. i hope she never comes back to this website... earie thinking about it. Well if there are some sort of sanctions against you for this discovery remember there is no punishment that can MAKE you believe something. You can also lie to Mom and say you have seen the error of your ways and once again believe in Jesus...until such time that you are no longer obliged to live at her home. Nobody can read your mind. Tell her what she wants to hear and she'll leave you alone. This tactic is useful later on in life with a boss as well..haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 If you don't care about lying, you could always say you were witnessing to us but you were embarrassed about it. I agree with this. To say it was done by a virus is not a very convincing tale. Although if you already said the virus thing it would look suscpicious too if you would now change your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Sorry to hear about the turn of events. You had better decide what you are going to do about it before the next time you take communion. With suspicions so high you don't want to get caught trying to hide the cup. It's your life so you have to live through the consequences of whatever you decide to do. Pick a path. If you told her it was a virus then you have to stick with that story and make it work or come completely clean. I don't know what I am going to do on the day my wife discovers my ex-Christian posting history. So I can relate. Part of me wants her to find it. I don't delete it every time. And I'm not being lazy about it. I choose to leave it there for her to find even though I know it's a risk. There is a hope that someday there is a more open atmosphere where it's all on the table. But experience and logic tell me that such an outcome are unlikely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser01 Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 Sorry to hear about the turn of events. You had better decide what you are going to do about it before the next time you take communion. With suspicions so high you don't want to get caught trying to hide the cup. It's your life so you have to live through the consequences of whatever you decide to do. Pick a path. If you told her it was a virus then you have to stick with that story and make it work or come completely clean. I don't know what I am going to do on the day my wife discovers my ex-Christian posting history. So I can relate. Part of me wants her to find it. I don't delete it every time. And I'm not being lazy about it. I choose to leave it there for her to find even though I know it's a risk. There is a hope that someday there is a more open atmosphere where it's all on the table. But experience and logic tell me that such an outcome are unlikely. communion isnt really what worries me as we do that only maby once a year but what does worry me is that she will go out and tell her fundamentalist freinds and they will start bothering me. i best start preparing for religious debate witch after spending so much time on here i feel im well qualified to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Everyone's situation is different, but making a feeble attempt to put myself in your shoes, my biggest concern would be long term consequences. In other words, what impacts will coming out have on your parents' willingness to support you in higher education, extracurricular activities you plan to persue beyond high school, etc.? Personally I would have very little concern about any family or friends coming to me to try and prostheltyse; it's actually the other way around - those who know I'm now an atheist know that I spent months on end researching the bible and religion in general. They're afraid to discuss it with me because they're worried about shaking their own faith. If you are confident in yourself and your convictions don't worry so much about the religious side of it. I'd worry more about the relationships of those around you, and the long term impact telling/not telling will have on you. If it were me, I would sum it up to this, will my parents value more my honesty in telling the truth about my new beliefs, or will they value more me not rocking the boat? Sadly, many people are so brainwashed they'd rather live in delusion with option number 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 i best start preparing for religious debate witch after spending so much time on here i feel im well qualified to do so. It's not going to be a debate. It's going to be them not listening to you while they lecture you with nonsense. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBluegrassSkeptic Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Well, when they begin their incessant "debating" (with obvious disregard of rules in debating), I would recommend that you do NOT focus on technical issues to start. They have a harder time arguing with philosophical feeling. My parents will always have a retort if I go with the technical/facts debate versus where I am coming from emotionally debate. Emotionally, Philosophically, they can't do a damn thing to change you around. And eventually they will have to come to grips with that. I would only get into actual details debate with those who are open minded and will let you speak, let alone breathe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageHealer Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear about your parents snooping like they did. There's nothing wrong with simply stating that you don't enjoy or want to get into a debate. And there's nothing wrong with telling people that your beliefs are private, and NO ONE'S business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badpuppy Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell my parents. For a long time I was just in the closet about it, but I could't live like that. It wasn't fair to ask me to live a lie just for their comfort when it meant I had to hear about Jesus constantly. I don't even remember when or how I told them. I actually think I finally just got fed up with their nonsense one day and told them I didn't believe in hell or Jesus. They went through denial, anger, grief, etc. Finally they came to accept it though I think they still believe it's a phase and I'll come around or that 'deep down' I believe. In the end, I'm glad they know. I don't want to live my entire life as a lie around them. Obviously, I'm a grown adult so every facet of my life is not their business, but since Christianity is so central to who they are and they make it a public thing and were constantly spewing it on me, I had no choice but to come out about the issue. Your family will eventually deal with it in their own way, because they really have no other choice. Though I also agree with the points made above about making decisions that are practical for you right now. If you're still living at home and having gone off to college yet, etc... then your life could be detrimentally affected if you don't just go along with their delusions for a little bit longer. It's a shitty position for you to be in. I didn't really start the deconversion process until I was out of my parents' house. I can't imagine doing it while still being there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badpuppy Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 If you don't care about lying, you could always say you were witnessing to us but you were embarrassed about it. i actualy thought about that but it ould only dig me a deeper hole in the long run. Yes, because eventually you'll probably want to "come out" about it, and if they thought you were on here witnessing then their view of things will be skewed. They'll think we all "warped your mind" or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 What is the worst possible scenario if your parents find out? Think about it realistically. Also a suggestion.....delete your history every time you log off. yea i used to do it all the time but i got real lax about it i geuss i need to start. It's actually a whole lot easier if you just open in private browsing every time. You can also use Firefox and set it to automatically dump the history every time you close out. (It's very easy to set up that way.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 You didn't have the presence of mind to lie correctly. The complete denial is not plausible. You need to own the history, but spin it. "Yes, I went to that website and looked around. I was curious about them, what made them lose their faith? I followed a link to it from another forum, and I checked out a few discussions." Act a little embarassed. Make it easy for them to let go of it. Tell the truth when you ready to do so, if ever. Meanwhile, learn some simple lying techniques. There's probably a web site for that. Oh, and delete history every time from now on, like others say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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