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Goodbye Jesus

Bubble-Popping Bitch


kruszer

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I posted this in another thread over the holidays (see "Here's to You Ex-Christians" by 2Honest, posted in Ex-Christian Life), but it got no responses. Throughout the course of 2Honest's thread, s/he wrote about the politeness of ex-christians who just went about their merry way without bothering to point out the flaws in their friends and families' faith. Some throughout that thread compared a Christian's faith to a child's faith in Santa Clause and insisted that just as we wouldn't be so cruel as to tell a six-year-old that Santa isn't real, then neither should we poke a hole in the faith of our loved-ones. I found myself at odds with the overall emotion of the well-received thread, and I wonder if I'm alone in this.

 

 

I've just been thinking about how much non-believers must lay down our own sense of authenticity, honesty, and even integrity - for the sake of sparing people we love. We all know that if we really got into it with a Christian friend or family member, we could pretty easily tumble their house of cards. But we don't. We love them too much. We know that it is a personal journey each one of us must find on our own, and it is not to be forced on anyone.

 

So am I a complete bitch because I actually enjoy pointing out the shortcomings of my former faith to those who are still in it? A large percentage of my FB friends are former church peers and some of their FB statuses deserve a reality check. Perhaps it's my evangelistic zeal still bubbling within me, but I really don't see how it's loving to let a grown adult continue to believe imaginary nonsense - especially if they themselves are in the business of promoting the Christian faith and evangelizing others.

 

And still, we don't use our pain as motivation to try to de-convert those who abuse us.

 

I don't think it needs to be a vindictive thing. Sure there are a lot of arrogant Christians who have wounded me for years with their call for my repentance. I've spent years dealing with health problems from head to toe, all while suffering the aftereffects of physical and emotional child abuse, the loss of my fiance and the murder of my best friend, among other tragedies. All the while these Christians have thrown fire in my eye by trying to convince me that God was allowing suffering to get my attention (which he already had - I was a child convert!) or because he was trying to use it for some greater purpose. But as far as I see it, taking their faith down a couple notches just might save someone else from being fed the god-loving bullshit that I was.

 

I would not compare a Christian's faith in God with a child's faith in Santa Claus. A child's faith doesn't cost us anymore than some misplaced gratitude for presents. If an adult's faith merely meant that they felt a sense of peace that the universe was ordered by a loving being who was taking care of them regardless of the ultimate end result, I would say "sure, why mess with that?". So they live with the hope of seeing uncle Bill again in their after-life? Harmless....

 

But much of what Christians do and say is NOT harmless. When they're out condemning my homosexual friends and fighting to prevent them from marrying, when they are voting for morons simply because the moron says "I love Jesus!", and when they look a dying person in the face and tell them that God wants them sick for his purposes and that they should be happy and praise God for their illness, that is not harmless - that is abusive.

 

So maybe I am a bubble-popping bitch. But the next time a friend posts a FB status like "God only allows us as much pain as he knows we can handle", damn right I'm going to speak up! Because as far as I see it, while I was asking questions and struggling silently with my own doubt, other atheists and agnostics were busy poking holes in what was left of my own bubble - and having now escaped the bubble, I am quite grateful to them for having spoken up and acted as road-guides on my "personal journey".

 

Our polite silence isn't necessarily a kind thing.

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I posted this to my FB page the other day after all the xmas drivel which I do not celebrate in any way even when I was wooish. I was brought up knowing xmas is a pagan ritual and being in the southern hemisphere, it is usually frigging hot so no real way of even relating to the winter solistace although folk here do do the trees and decor but not too much of the xmas music.

So I am an Atheist or more precisely an ex Christian.
Usually I keep this to myself as it really has nothing to do with anyone else, but this is merely one good trait of mine.

 

Lessee what good or bad morals I exhibit.

 

I smoke which is probably bad for me but there are no laws pertaining to the inhalation of bad substances in the bible so I guess that is just me and a bad habit.

 

I imbibe liquor on occasion and usually when inebriated fall asleep and never get aggressive, no demons in my bottles.

 

My wife and I have been together 29 years this Feb of which 27 legally, the other 2 shacking up. Prior to meeting my wife, I had relations in the biblical sense with approx 30 partners. When I decided to settle, my wild oats had been sown. She is aware of this and was before we hooked up.

 

I have never cheated on her, neglected her, hit her (well some playful spanking but that does not count) and there were times when it was offered up on a silver platter.

 

I paid my taxes. I paid my speeding fines. I never killed anyone although there were times... emotions had I followed through I could have. I have never been jealous of others. I never desired my neighbour's ass (or in modern terms a BMW or Merc, I have my own Merc) although some behinds you just cannot help looking at being a hetero' male and all
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I have never stolen anything barring change from my mother's purse to buy cigarettes as a kid. I have paid for a friends wife's emergency hysterectomy when he was unemployed and had no medical, I have financially supported folk less fortunate and have given clothing, beds and food to the same when I was well off. All my good charitable deeds were driven by the built in empathy I have and not trying to please some invisible undetectable deity.

 

As a theist I was conned out of ~300k little of which went to charity (less than 2%) under the guise of the doors of heaven will be opened and I would reap perhaps ten fold, right now I could really use 3M but had I instead followed secular reasoning, I would have a ROI that was substantial and real had I invested in property or simply made real fond memories with my family and spoiled them rotten with awesome vacations; alas hindsight is always 20/20 vision.

 

All my successes and failures are 100% directly attributable to my own efforts or lack thereof. Upon examining my faith and it origins, finding the pagan roots etc. I soon came to realise that this god I was taught about growing up could only perform within the constraints of my own abilities or circumstances and thus was a figment of my own imagination.

 

When I ditched this concept, life became simpler, more logical and the answer to to the purpose of life is 42 (courtesy Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy) and makes as much sense as the 30000 or so variants of the faith purveyed to be the truth. No two people have the same concept of god thus it stands to reason, god is only real in the minds of the believer(s) as it was with me.

 

Where amazing grace once held significance to me, now I relate more to the late Frank Sinatra song of

 

I did it my way

 

And now, the end is near;

And so I face the final curtain.

My friend, I'll say it clear,

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

 

I've lived a life that's full.

I've traveled each and ev'ry highway;

But more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

 

Regrets, I've had a few;

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.

 

I planned each charted course;

Each careful step along the byway,

But more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

 

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew.

But through it all, when there was doubt,

I ate it up and spit it out.

I faced it all and I stood tall;

And did it my way.

 

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.

I've had my fill; my share of losing.

And now, as tears subside,

I find it all so amusing.

 

To think I did all that;

And may I say - not in a shy way,

"No, oh no not me,

I did it my way".

 

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught.

To say the things he truly feels;

And not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows -

And did it my way!

 

One guy asked if I was dying but oddly enough, some theists posted positive comments and I did not lose any FB friends and actually gained one.

 

You have to pick your battles. Fortunately I do not have batshit crazy woos as friends and as I never hit on their occasional god updates, no one attacked me. The first respondent was a woo xian but he does not post to my wall only his own and I see the feeds and pretty much ignore them. We were at school together.

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As far as I'm concerned, I don't care what people believe. I'll remain silent unless asked. But when they start pushing it on other people, either overtly through their words and behaviors, or covertly by enacting laws that force their values on others, then I must speak up.

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Kruzer, I'm 2Honest's husband.

 

I think you just have to go with your own convictions. If someone is being abusive, then you should call them out if you feel inclined, especially if it's abusive to you, your loved ones, or causes you really care about.

 

What 2Honest was expressing is having "grace" for the clueless friends and family. If those people get to point where life is not working anymore, maybe they will come asking and then we can help them. If we attack their beliefs for their beliefs then we likely have no chance to have an effect on them when the opportunity comes.

 

I don't think the non response in the thread was any real disagreement with you, but rather a deference to the spirit of the thread, i.e. a thank you to the community here. I'm glad you are part of it :)

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