Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

A Long Time Coming


Antikristos

Recommended Posts

I've lost count of how many times I've tried to write and post this extimony. I generally get interrupted or get things completely out of sequence...then I get frustrated and hit the cancel button at the bottom of the page. I guess it's a little difficult because every time I try to do this I remember something else I had forgotten and I try to work it in and then the sequence just falls apart. I guess part of the problem is that it is not as fresh for me. It took me 15 full years to deconvert. It began in December of 1996 when I lost faith in the Bible and it concluded in December of 2011 when I FINALLY lost my faith in God and Hell. In the interim I managed to distance myself from all of the Jesus Crispies I knew. My mother and father had both stopped going to church and didn't really push it anymore. So I forgot about a lot of things and led a fairly normal life. I still believed in God and I definitely still had that good old fear of hell, but I didn't really think too much on these things anymore.

 

I've also realized that there is an incredible amount of history in one person's life and that it is pretty much near impossible to write it all down without writing a book. So I don't think I'm going to attempt to even go through everything right now. I have a lot of rant-worthy material so I guess I will save a lot of it for the future. But some background is necessary.

 

I was born into a Baptist family in 1972. I'm not sure which stripe of Baptist my parents were at the time, but I was raised Southern Baptist. There were other influences as well. My dad's family was Assembly of God and my mother had a brother who was some sort of non denominational holy roller. Before adolescence struck I was the always faithful type. I was such a dork that I sat on the front pew every Sunday from the time I was 9 until around the age of 12 or 13. My mother played piano in church and my dad was a deacon (and a cop). I have a younger brother as well...but he never really bought into xianity that much. He pretty much wanted proof about everything since he was old enough to reason at all. (At age 4 he realized...on his own...that there was no Santa Claus. It simply did not make sense.) A lot of things happened during that early time period...things I did not perceive as wrong at the time, but things that royally piss me off these days...but I guess the biggest thing that I take away from that time is the ingrained fear of hell. That was hammered home time after time after time after time after time after time. And even though the Southern Baptists make a big deal out of "once saved, always saved" I've heard more than one preacher say that they did believe there was a possibility someone could lose their salvation. The comfort of "once saved, always saved" really went out the window with that possibility. I was convinced that if the possibility existed, I would definitely be the one to find it. After all I had already bought into the idea that I was naturally born evil and didn't deserve anything good.

 

My adolescence brought with it a healthy knack for rebellion. Authoritarian religion, parents adhering to those beliefs and having a cop for a father are bound to bring out any rebellious tendencies. Initially it only consisted of listening to music that the church said was bad...which covered a lot. Any pop, rock or metal artist was somehow in league with Satan. KISS stood for Knights In Satan's Service and AC/DC stood for Anti-Christ/Devil's Children. Records had actual demons in them. Then there was the whole Crispy created backwards masking controversy. Stupid shit when you look back on it. However, to this day I have the complete catalogs of most of the artists the pastor said were evil! My parents also hated anything that wasn't gospel or country...so music was the big way I rebelled at first. Eventually I ended up with a cigarette habit and I have definitely spent more than enough time drinking and smoking weed...but music was where I centered it. The heavier the metal...the better.

 

But with rebellion came guilt. So it began a really fucked up cycle that I replayed over and over and over again. I would enjoy my life for a month or two and then something inside me would freak out and I would fear hell and feel like Jesus died in vain because I was being such a prick. Sometimes I would toss my albums and cassettes...and any books I thought were inappropriate for a xian...like Frank Herbert's Dune series or Stephen King...I mean there was nothing wrong with them, but at that time I thought there was. I would rededicate my life to Cheese Sauce and resolve to serve, serve, serve. So then I would make an ass of myself and take a bible with me wherever I went so that I could share the lard with all my friends. I am so embarrassed thinking back on that. My friends had to think I was full of it. For a month or two I would talk about nothing but sex and metal bands...and then I'd show up with the holey babble and tell them all about cheese sauce rice and his holey plan of subjugation. But I would be entirely earnest and feel like a total jerk because I had been a bad witness...and, well, all I could do was be a good witness from now on. I don't know how many times that cycle repeated.

 

During that time my dad got transferred a couple times and in 1988 I ended up at a church worse than any other I had attended. There was a just a real bad vibe in that place. The pastor was a used car salesman and there was a lot of hinky shit going on. As a matter of fact my dad started cheating on my mom with another woman at that church...who he also worked with. Actually, she screwed anything in uniform...but that's a whole different rant I will have. The only adult in that church that I genuinely liked was the pastor's wife, who was also my sunday school teacher. She was actually the only person I've ever seen who lived up to the love-thy-neighbor-as-thyself type of xian. She certainly treated the kids in her SS class well. Besides me there was another metal kid in that class...and she was the first church adult I'd ever seen that did not look at us like we were satanic assholes. That other kid actually turned out to be my best friend...to this day. We actually ended up playing in a few different bands together later on. But beyond these two individuals...that church was the epitome of "evil."

 

My parents ended up divorcing. At that point I stopped going to church because they stopped going. My mom got pissed off at God and I don't think she ever stopped being pissed off. He did not answer her prayers and she decided that Gawd's promises were lies. She never phrased it that way, but that's what she meant. Looking back I wish I could have told her that it was just some nonsense that men wrote down and that there is no god, but that's not what I did. Nope. I went into Jesus Crispy mode. I prayed for her all the time and started trying to bolster her faith. I became an apologist! I said God always keeps his promises but sometimes people screw that up because they have free will. I would spin shit any way it took so that she wouldn't lose her faith. I don't know why I did that, but I thought it was important. Not only did my dad walk out but two of her brothers (including uncle holy roller) sided with him! I was in protective mode and I felt that having faith in Gawd was extremely important at the time. I doubt she would have ever deconverted, but now I'll never know for sure. I should have just let her get mad and rage against it.

 

She decided to go to school so we moved to another city. We never really went back to church. We talked about it, but it never materialized. Yet somehow we were always discussing the bible, god 'n' jesus. At that point I had become convinced that the 2nd coming was near so I was always trying to clean my life up and make ready for it. I didn't fear it. I also had stopped believing we would be raptured...I figured the church was going to have to survive the tribulation. I don't know what sent me down that path. I honestly cannot remember what verse of the bible i was using. Whatever... In any case life kind of continued like that. I had turned 18 but I was still going through my rebellion/submission cycles. I was in a metal band at the time and like clockwork I would quit the band every three months. Fortunately, these guys knew me well so they just laughed it off because they knew I would be back in a short amount of time.

 

The band was in the city I had left behind. I used to drive five hours one way just to rehearse on the weekends. Eventually I quit my job and moved back so I could be with them constantly. That time period was one of the best of my life. By this point I was already 20. We all had jobs, but every evening we rehearsed and we usually had gigs lined up every Friday and/or Saturday night. Mostly parties, but there were some clubs we played. Most clubs didn't want us. We played some sort of hybrid of thrash and death metal. We went under the weighty moniker Chemical Holocaust. I played bass and did some vocals and the guitarists both did vocals too...like a death metal KISS or something. But one day I got the geezus bug up my ass again...and I abandoned the band. I just left. No warning. I went back to my mom's house. To this day I consider this one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It royally damaged my friendships with one of the guitarists (who had been my friend since high school) and the drummer. The other guitar player was the kid I met in sunday school...and it did some damage to our friendship for awhile. He eventually forgave me and somehow decided it was his fault I left...but it wasn't. It was my fear of hell and the innate sense of guilt I had...I guess I was simply having too much fun...therefore I was doing evil.

 

I spent a couple of years lost and wandering. Then I discovered another friend of mine had moved to another city and was looking to do some music...not only that, a girl I had a major crush on in high school was living there too. I contacted her and then went to stay with her for awhile. Well that shit all fell through within a couple weeks. She decided she wanted to be with someone else at a job she just started and my friend decided to go to Las Vegas and perform stage magic. That left me all alone. This was only 1994 but this set me on my path towards deconversion...

 

I ended up drunk most of the time in the following months. Wish I would have had weed...I'd have been happier. I also started styling myself a satanist as form of rebellion. One night, in my stupor, I uttered "Fuck the father, fuck the son, and fuck the holy ghost." I passed out and forgot about it for a while.... End rebellious cycle and... Terror! I had blasphemed the holy ghost! I seriously spent a week in sheer terror. I got through my workday like an automaton and I spent my nights crying. That was it. I had discovered how it was possible to cancel "once saved, always saved." I had spoken a word against the holy ghost and that was it. I knew there was nothing I could ever do to get back my salvation, but damn it, I wanted to be a servant to god more than ever. I had blasphemed the holy spirit and there was no way back...so what did I do? I decided to go to bible college and go into the ministry! I don't know how I thought that could possibly help, but that was my decision.

 

So I moved and began the true process of deconversion. School started for me in January 1995. Besides Bible courses I also took standard university courses. However, it was the babble courses that really started sinking my faith. I took courses on the Old and New Testaments and the synoptic gospels. During those courses the professor would constantly point out contradictions and then tell us why there were no contradictions. I honestly do not remember what his reasons were...all I remember is that things weren't adding up. During this point I was also taking one non-religious course that was influenced my decision. It was a basic Geology course. I learned about deep time and that the earth was most definitely older than 6000 years. I couldn't believe this was being taught at a Southern Baptist university! But the professor convinced me that the dating methods were accurate...and I really started to doubt anything in the bible. Too many contradictions had come up and the genesis account wasn't squaring with reality. The last nail in the coffin (for the bible that is) came during the fall 1996 semester when I took a course on church history. During that course I learned how the New Testament was canonized and that xianity had gone through many different forms. The way shit was just slapped together appalled me! I'm supposed to believe this SHIT is inerrant? This is the WORD of God? Bullshit! That was the only word I had for it. Pure bullshit. Also, during this time I had been reading the bible. I happened to finish it in December 0f 1996 just before the final in church history. The final was a take home test. I didn't even bother. I never went back. That night I realized that the bible could not be true. I let go of my fear of blaspheming the holy spirit and just stopped thinking about xianity pretty much altogether.

 

A lot of things happened in the intervening years, but xianity did not come up too often. I ended up at another university where I studied anthropology. I also explored different forms of paganism...primarily Wicca and then Shamanism. I eventually abandoned them too. I still believed in God and an afterlife. I still had that old irrepressible fear of hell...that one just kind of hung on. But really no major issues. The cycle of rebel/submit was broken. I didn't feel like living my life was rebellion anymore and I felt no need to submit.

 

In the meantime I got married to a wonderful woman who also left behind xianity...the catholic version of it. She pretty much left it behind when she left home. She leans towards paganism, but this isn't a problem for us. She accepts where I am at and I am perfectly fine with paganism. She has been really supportive and actually enjoys some of the atheist videos I watch on you tube. She particularly enjoyed watching some of the Dawkins videos (and likes to watch him reading his hate mail) and she enjoyed Thunderf00t's "Why Do People Laugh At Creationists" series.

 

My wife has two sons from a previous marriage and it was her oldest son who I credit with helping me complete my deconversion. If he knew that he would be mortified! He chose to live with his father a few years back and got a job as a pizza delivery driver after he moved. This kid has never really been exposed to too much religion. He has an aunt on his dad's side who was seventh day adventist and then just became a generic holy roller later on. But, during his job he would listen to a crispy radio station which eventually led him to go to one of those megachurches. In a short amount of time he "got saved." The only things he believes are what his preacher preaches. He doesn't even study the bible on his own as far as I know. The only correct interpretation as far as he is concerned is the one his preacher gives him. My wife and I eventually started discussing xianity because of this and even considered making a go of it. She had never been exposed to fundamentalist style xianity so she really didn't know what they taught.

 

Last October my stepson visited. Man, it was like old times in a bad way. Every fucking thing we enjoy...from TV, to music, to movies...is all written by the Devil. We watched an episode of Dexter and he informed us that "the Devil wrote that show." Then he had us watch a DVD. I figured it was going to be crispy...and I was absolutely correct. It was one of those bullshit intelligent design documentaries that said because of the structure of a certain cell everything was intelligently designed. It was the whole irreducible complexity argument. I held my tongue. We don't see my stepson too often so I didn't want it to become a science vs. religion war the whole time he was here. He had many talks with his mother about cheese sauce rice and gawd and the holey babble and she just couldn't believe it. Which is good. The whole salvation thing never set well with her when she was a Catholic...she certainly didn't want to deal with the fundamentalist version of the same old shit. She did get into it with him on the faith vs. works debate...but that was about it.

 

After he left I started remembering things I had forgotten and remembered why I lost faith in the bible and if the babble was incorrect, then wouldn't it be logical that gawd, cheese sauce and the holey toast were bullshit too? I started watching atheist videos on you tube and reading athetist blogs like PZ Myers. I read The Christian Delusion. And I also found this website. By the time xmas rolled around I decided to become an out-and-out "fool" and just say "there is no god." It felt great! And the deconversion was pretty much complete at that point.

 

I still hold a lot of anger for xianity because it caused me a lot of pain. Seriously, there is so much more to my story than I have written here. It feels so incomplete. There were so many nights alone where I cried and cried begging for God's presence...for answers to many things. Things I haven't even scratched the surface on... I suppose I would do better to post those episodes as rants or supplements later on. As I said before, there is just so much history in one life.

 

Anyway...that's the bare bones. I hope it isn't too long or dull and I hope I didn't ramble too much. Also, this site helped me quite a bit with this decision. I've been lurking here since my stepson left in October and I've been a member for two weeks now. One other thing...my username really should have been Antichristos...but I thought I would be "kewl" and spell it with a "k." Turns out that is some sort of dance. WTF? I guess I'll be the dancing antichrist.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

Welcome to EX-c Antikristos! And thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I could relate to this story on so many levels. You already know that there are tons of wonderful posts written by all of us who have gone though 'hell' deconverting from the belief in the christian god.

 

I am looking so forward to hearing more of your stories. The more' heathens' here the better I like it. When I first found this site, I thought I was the ONLY person in the whole world to doubt what I believed for many, many years.

 

I really am so glad you are with us. Post all your concerns - we'll be right here for you!!

 

Best wishes to you!

 

Margee

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would enjoy my life for a month or two and then something inside me would freak out and I would fear hell and feel like Jesus died in vain because I was being such a prick. Sometimes I would toss my albums and cassettes...and any books I thought were inappropriate for a xian...

~~~~

So then I would make an ass of myself and take a bible with me wherever I went so that I could share the lard with all my friends. I am so embarrassed thinking back on that. My friends had to think I was full of it.

~~~~

But one day I got the geezus bug up my ass again...and I abandoned the band. I just left. No warning.

Hi AK! Thanks for posting your story. I'm glad you finally completed and submitted it!

 

I can relate to your cycles of guilt and abruptly giving up on commitments because you think God is not "in" something. In hindsight I am mortified, but at the time, there was just no talking sense into me. I can also relate to your holy roller moments where you make an ass of yourself to, like, everyone. OMG. I cringe just thinking about the stuff I did for God.

 

It's great to have you here. I look forward to reading more from you!

 

Peace.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome from another fellow southern baptist! This is a great place full of fabulous people!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to the light

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There were so many nights alone where I cried and cried begging for God's presence...for answers to many things.

 

I can tell you right now that the majority of us had many nights like that, and for me that was definitely one of the big things that led to me leaving Christianity. I thought, "Why should I keep begging and praying to a god that won't even give me a damn sign he's there?" After one too many of these nights last year (along with a bunch of other things), I finally decided last November that I was done with all that shit.

 

So you say you tried Wicca and Shamanism - is that all bullshit too in your opinion? I ask that only because I know people who practice Wicca and their lives are no better from practicing that, just like my life never got better from Christianity.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Antikristos-

 

Great to have you here, I loved reading your extimony. At times it felt like I was looking back on my own life. It took me 9 years, from my first questions to when it finally came to a head and I deconverted. That was the weekend I joined up here- back in November.

 

Hope to see you around, and hear more of your story :)

 

Pudd

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can relate to your testinomy, it took me a long time to quit, even the dates are the same as yours: had my first big doubt in 1996, and didn't publicly disavow Christianity till 2011.

 

During the interim, I became a kind of God-hating Christian. I totally believed in God, but couldn't stand him, and because people had encouraged me to be honest with God, I'd tell him so during my prayers. I had resigned myself to remaining like this, because even though I didn't like God, I couldn't imagine not believing.

 

I started my first band at 14 and was in bands through high school, and like you, every so often I would get holy and abandon it, to my bandmates great annoyance. I wish I could have pursued music without feeling guilty about it, it makes me wonder how far I could have gone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to EX-c Antikristos! And thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I could relate to this story on so many levels. You already know that there are tons of wonderful posts written by all of us who have gone though 'hell' deconverting from the belief in the christian god.

 

I am looking so forward to hearing more of your stories. The more' heathens' here the better I like it. When I first found this site, I thought I was the ONLY person in the whole world to doubt what I believed for many, many years.

 

I really am so glad you are with us. Post all your concerns - we'll be right here for you!!

 

Best wishes to you!

 

Margee

 

Thank you, Margee. Over the past few months I've read quite a few things you've written and I think you're a great writer. Reading about your own struggle was definitely an inspiration to just have done with the whole mess. I love this "congregation" of heathens and I'm enjoying spending a Sunday morning here.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi AK! Thanks for posting your story. I'm glad you finally completed and submitted it!

 

I can relate to your cycles of guilt and abruptly giving up on commitments because you think God is not "in" something. In hindsight I am mortified, but at the time, there was just no talking sense into me. I can also relate to your holy roller moments where you make an ass of yourself to, like, everyone. OMG. I cringe just thinking about the stuff I did for God.

 

It's great to have you here. I look forward to reading more from you!

 

Peace.

 

Hi Positivist...you were another one whose story inspired me.

 

Oh...those holy roller moments. I seriously want to hide from myself when I remember those. I'm glad to know I was not the only one to act completely insane for an imaginary friend...er...enemy. At this point all I can do is laugh at myself for being that way. I know we were all indoctrinated...but it is STILL extremely embarrassing!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome from another fellow southern baptist! This is a great place full of fabulous people!

 

Thank you Luv2knit. If I recall correctly, you are from New Mexico. I spent my first 18 years there and that's where I did the majority of my time in church. It's good to be an EXsouthern baptist!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bring the rants....

 

They are on the way. Believe me...there is enough venom in me to supply a book's worth and maybe even more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to the light

 

Thank you, LivingLife. I enjoy reading your posts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I can tell you right now that the majority of us had many nights like that, and for me that was definitely one of the big things that led to me leaving Christianity. I thought, "Why should I keep begging and praying to a god that won't even give me a damn sign he's there?" After one too many of these nights last year (along with a bunch of other things), I finally decided last November that I was done with all that shit.

 

So you say you tried Wicca and Shamanism - is that all bullshit too in your opinion? I ask that only because I know people who practice Wicca and their lives are no better from practicing that, just like my life never got better from Christianity.

 

Hi TotalWreck. You are another one who inspired me. I wasted many nights as a teenager and a young adult begging for a sign from a being that was simply not there. The worst was when I was losing my faith while attending Grand Canyon University. As I was losing faith in "the inerrant word of god" I was begging god to prove me wrong...to give me a real sign of his existence. Of course nothing happened...but that was extremely crushing at the time.

 

Ah...yeah I'm going to say that I think Wicca and Shamanism are pretty much bullshit. The one positive thing I can say about either of them is that they were steps away from xianity. Shamanistic techniques aren't bad in and of themselves. I did take away one thing from that. I learned how to make myself relax and go to sleep (I'm an insomniac). But other than that...it's pretty much bullshit to me. Although I'd rather deal with Wiccans than Xians because they won't try to convert me. But magic? Gods? Nah. Not for me.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Antikristos-

 

Great to have you here, I loved reading your extimony. At times it felt like I was looking back on my own life. It took me 9 years, from my first questions to when it finally came to a head and I deconverted. That was the weekend I joined up here- back in November.

 

Hope to see you around, and hear more of your story smile.png

 

Pudd

 

Hi blackpudd1n...I guess deconversion takes a long time. My guess is that it's hard to break the indoctrination. It seems that most of us have to do this on our own. I guess there aren't many cult deprogrammers for xians.

 

I've enjoyed your posts quite a bit..they have been encouraging.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can relate to your testinomy, it took me a long time to quit, even the dates are the same as yours: had my first big doubt in 1996, and didn't publicly disavow Christianity till 2011.

 

During the interim, I became a kind of God-hating Christian. I totally believed in God, but couldn't stand him, and because people had encouraged me to be honest with God, I'd tell him so during my prayers. I had resigned myself to remaining like this, because even though I didn't like God, I couldn't imagine not believing.

 

I started my first band at 14 and was in bands through high school, and like you, every so often I would get holy and abandon it, to my bandmates great annoyance. I wish I could have pursued music without feeling guilty about it, it makes me wonder how far I could have gone.

 

Hi Chikirin...wow! The same years? That's a trip. I think it's too intense to break the indoctrination (for some of us) all at once.

 

I can relate to the God-hating Christian view. In 2007 I wrote an entire album's worth of material in that vein. It was dark, acoustic music...a lot of it set in E minor. Most of it was saying I would rather side with the fallen angels than be a servant to a cold, silent god. I guess between 1996 and 2011 I didn't totally forget. I would have flare-ups of god hate. Especially when my mom died in 2005. Her doctor botched a surgery...which made my mom's heart stop for 17 minutes. They revived her and left her languishing for 2 and a half months before she died. That set me off against god from time to time...which finally culminated in about 15 songs...or maybe it was 17, I can't remember. That's also the period of time I started to enjoy blasphemy for it's own sake. My wife has endured countless antigod rants!

 

I was in my first band at 14 too! We weren't really that good. We played mostly glam rock...and had the lamest name: White Light. It wasn't xian...but I liked the name because it could be xian. My three most serious bands were a different matter. All three had the same two guitarists and myself on bass. There was Dark Altar...which was pure thrash. It was followed up by Azathoth which was thrash with a hint of death metal. And the one that I loved the most was Chemical Holocaust (although I never really liked the name too much) which was a blend of thrash and death...mostly. Like you I wish I could have seen where it would have gone. At the time I abandoned them one of the guys was setting up a mini-tour of the southwest. We had tentative dates in Texas, New Mexico, Colorado and Arizona. We were also slated to record a demo and Roadrunner Records actually wanted to hear it....the old Roadrunner Records when they were based in Phoenix and Max Cavalera's future wife was running a lot of the show. In the midst of all of that...I went holy roller and left without saying a word to them. I honestly wonder if we could have at least recorded an album and done an actual tour. But because I left I will never know...nor will they. They couldn't find a bass player that could play the parts correctly and the band disintegrated. I don't blame them for hating me...my FAITH fucked up their chances too.

 

In any case, it's nice to finally meet you. I am seriously blown away that your deconversion took place in the exact same timeframe and that you went through the same music problems I did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi TotalWreck. You are another one who inspired me. I wasted many nights as a teenager and a young adult begging for a sign from a being that was simply not there. The worst was when I was losing my faith while attending Grand Canyon University. As I was losing faith in "the inerrant word of god" I was begging god to prove me wrong...to give me a real sign of his existence. Of course nothing happened...but that was extremely crushing at the time.

 

Ah...yeah I'm going to say that I think Wicca and Shamanism are pretty much bullshit. The one positive thing I can say about either of them is that they were steps away from xianity. Shamanistic techniques aren't bad in and of themselves. I did take away one thing from that. I learned how to make myself relax and go to sleep (I'm an insomniac). But other than that...it's pretty much bullshit to me. Although I'd rather deal with Wiccans than Xians because they won't try to convert me. But magic? Gods? Nah. Not for me.

 

That's what I figured. Like I said, I know some people who practice Wicca and they think that it works, but from my perspective, their lives don't seem all that great (still don't have money, still in crappy relationships, still upset about things, etc). But yes, Wiccans do seem less uptight and less annoying.

 

As you've probably seen from several of my posts, I vent A LOT because I'm still angry at all the time I wasted on something that didn't even exist and angry that I didn't take control of my life sooner. Luckily, the people on this site let me vent and always seem to have words of encouragement, and this site has been so helpful during this hard time. I think you'll really enjoy it here.smile.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome from another fellow southern baptist! This is a great place full of fabulous people!

 

Thank you Luv2knit. If I recall correctly, you are from New Mexico. I spent my first 18 years there and that's where I did the majority of my time in church. It's good to be an EXsouthern baptist!

 

You left NM? How could you? Where did you live? I'm in Los Alamos. Near Santa Fe.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As you've probably seen from several of my posts, I vent A LOT because I'm still angry at all the time I wasted on something that didn't even exist and angry that I didn't take control of my life sooner. Luckily, the people on this site let me vent and always seem to have words of encouragement, and this site has been so helpful during this hard time. I think you'll really enjoy it here.smile.png

 

I completely understand the anger and the need to vent....especially the anger over wasted time and wasted opportunities. Actually I have read several of your posts and I can totally relate to that anger. Hell, in seeing your anger...and the anger of other people here...I have accepted my own anger as perfectly valid and part of the logical outcome of being force-fed a lie from the day I was born. I am glad you vent here...your venting helps keep you sane...and it is actually encouraging to others who feel the same way. I know it helped encourage me to just admit to myself that I really didn't believe any of this crap anymore.

 

You're right, I think I will like it here and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

 

You left NM? How could you? Where did you live? I'm in Los Alamos. Near Santa Fe.

 

Since my dad was with the state police we moved around a few times...I've lived in Belen, Grants, Deming, Springer, Las Cruces and Albuquerque...my formative years, I guess you would call them, were in Deming, Springer & Las Cruces.

 

My wife grew up in Albuquerque. Her father lives somewhere around Los Alamos. I know he used to work for the government there.

 

Funny thing is my wife and I did not meet in New Mexico. We met in Arizona!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's nice that you have a non-Christian wife to support you. Many people here still live with fundies. I'm glad you've finally escaped though. Welcome!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's nice that you have a non-Christian wife to support you. Many people here still live with fundies. I'm glad you've finally escaped though. Welcome!

 

Thanks CdS. I am really glad I found this place.

 

After reading some of the problems people here have with fundy spouses and family members, I consider myself extremely lucky. My wife absolutely HATES the xian religion, regardless of its guise. Most of my extended family are fundies and I have to sort through the crap they spam on my facebook newsfeed...but I rarely see them and don't feel it's necessary to tell them about my decision unless they ask. Although I have toyed with the idea of posting it just to see the reaction.

 

I do feel for everyone here who is living with a fundy spouse or the younger people who are still living with fundy parents. I cannot imagine having to go to church in my current mindset. I know it would be misery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

 

You left NM? How could you? Where did you live? I'm in Los Alamos. Near Santa Fe.

 

Small world!! My husband and I are from Carlsbad, went to college in cruses.

 

Since my dad was with the state police we moved around a few times...I've lived in Belen, Grants, Deming, Springer, Las Cruces and Albuquerque...my formative years, I guess you would call them, were in Deming, Springer & Las Cruces.

 

My wife grew up in Albuquerque. Her father lives somewhere around Los Alamos. I know he used to work for the government there.

 

Funny thing is my wife and I did not meet in New Mexico. We met in Arizona!

 

My husband jokes I'm his mail order bride as I was born in Ohio and moved to Carlsbad when I was ten. We went to college in Cruces.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

You left NM? How could you? Where did you live? I'm in Los Alamos. Near Santa Fe.

 

Since my dad was with the state police we moved around a few times...I've lived in Belen, Grants, Deming, Springer, Las Cruces and Albuquerque...my formative years, I guess you would call them, were in Deming, Springer & Las Cruces.

 

My wife grew up in Albuquerque. Her father lives somewhere around Los Alamos. I know he used to work for the government there.

 

Funny thing is my wife and I did not meet in New Mexico. We met in Arizona!

 

do ya'll ever bump into Marjoe? he has a ranch in Lamy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.