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Margee

A Letter To The Young People On Ex-C

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Ironically, I am black and gay and you mentioned both in your post. So being a freethinker is going to make me another minority? GREAT! :D Thanks for the post Margee. You made me believe in a better future.

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Not only that but your thoughts on beauty made me think. I have spent hundreds of dollars trying to be like the men in magazines, but I feel a little bit better about not being like that because you said something.

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Not only that but your thoughts on beauty made me think. I have spent hundreds of dollars trying to be like the men in magazines, but I feel a little bit better about not being like that because you said something.

you know Googledotman, I watch the young people and the stress they put on themselves today to want to be as pretty or handsome as their neighbour. There is nothing wrong with making the best out of what you have, but when it causes depression (as it did to me when I was growing up) there is a huge problem. I feel that the gay world is even worse because you wonderful folks are a minority in the way that there isn't as many gay people born as straight. There are a lot more straight partners to choose from. The competition is high to look good in the gay world. As a hairdresser. I have been immersed in the gay world (lucky me!!) and I watch so many of my gay friends struggle to feel good about themselves. I watch my own darling, gay boy and what he goes through to look good. I tell him all the time to just let his wonderful personality out. He struggles so bad with his weight.

 

I watched in a grocery store line-up the other day as 3 young girls giggled together. One looked like she belonged in a model magazine and the other two were overweight and not near as pretty as the other one. You could see how they looked 'up' to her like an icon. I remember looking up to girls who were so pretty and slim. I was always chubby my whole life and it really affected my self confidence.

 

I have been a hairdresser for 37 years and I have spent my whole life talking to people about how they feel about themselves. I did real models for a long, long, time because I used to compete in the hairstyling championships for our province. ( I did win the 'gold' in the 80's!!) I found that I had more confidence than some of these beautiful models!!

 

Do your best to stay healthy, get a nice haircut, workout at the gym a couple of times aweek...nothing wrong with that......But don't let it be your whole life. Be you! Shine! You will attract more sincere people that way. You want sincere friendships and relationships. If these are built on 'looks', they can end up being shallow. Relationships has to endure messy hair, weight gains and farting!!

 

You go and let your black, gay light shine hon!! Show the world it's not all about looks.

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This has resonated with me and only makes me more proud to be a freethinker, even if I can't express that as publicly as I want to right now.

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Thankies Margie! You just encouraged me a ton! Practicing silence is so difficult but I know that my situation is only temporary :)

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Good post, Margee!

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That was beautiful, Margee :)

 

And you are spot-on about attractive people. I am tall and thin with D-cups, and my face is frequently described as beautiful. But it is a curse. It really is.

 

In the workplace I am judged a bimbo,and three times I have been hired based on my looks. I have to work so hard to prove myself.

 

Friendships with both sexes have always been difficult. So many girls reject me because they think I am out to steal their boyfriends/partners, and I have never done so in my life- it goes against my own morals. It has just become far too difficult to have male friends- too often, they get the wrong idea, if they are straight.

 

If I go out, I get hit on, even though I'm wearing an engagement ring- for some reason, there is an assumption that I am a loose woman because of how I look.

 

I rarely wear make-up anymore. I don't wear high-heels, I cover-up... I just want to be seen and respected for the person I am.

 

And then I get comments about going and eating a cheeseburger. I can't help how thin I am. I am on medication that should put weight on me, but it doesn't. I don't exercise. I eat full-fat, full-cream, and nothing diet (except milk- full-cream milk just doesn't sit right in my tummy). I eat a whole pizza in one sitting, and I eat a LOT. I eat chocolate all day long. I eat a big meal just before bed. I should not be thin, but I am.

 

The only way I've found to deal with all this to have witty comebacks all the time. But deep-down, it does hurt. I look forward to ageing. Maybe then people will start to see me as a person.

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It is my intention to encourage you on your journey......You wonderful young 'freethinkers' on EX-c! A few of my thoughts this morning.

 

Best of love and good wishes to you as you confidently go on this journey!

 

And to think that an unbeliever has lost heart and soul!

 

Kudos Margee!

 

"Don't gasp! It is not the unbelieving who invite "damnation" but the unloving." ~J. Fletcher

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And then I get comments about going and eating a cheeseburger. I can't help how thin I am. I am on medication that should put weight on me, but it doesn't. I don't exercise. I eat full-fat, full-cream, and nothing diet (except milk- full-cream milk just doesn't sit right in my tummy). I eat a whole pizza in one sitting, and I eat a LOT. I eat chocolate all day long. I eat a big meal just before bed. I should not be thin, but I am.

 

Just so you know, it never ends. You just have to smile and ignore it. I think it's just as rude as people who always rip on fat people.

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And then I get comments about going and eating a cheeseburger. I can't help how thin I am. I am on medication that should put weight on me, but it doesn't. I don't exercise. I eat full-fat, full-cream, and nothing diet (except milk- full-cream milk just doesn't sit right in my tummy). I eat a whole pizza in one sitting, and I eat a LOT. I eat chocolate all day long. I eat a big meal just before bed. I should not be thin, but I am.

 

Just so you know, it never ends. You just have to smile and ignore it. I think it's just as rude as people who always rip on fat people.

 

Sigh.

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Thank you so much Margee! That was exactly what I needed to hear today :)

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Margee, your post sounds pretty much like the jesus sermon of I have overcome the world, folk hated me, etc.

 

IMO, if jesus existed, he likely would have been a member here telling off the frigging woos as we do.

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Thank you Margee, and I am proud to call myself a young rebel!

 

I agree completely with what you said about being to be ready to defend your position. I was at a "once saved always saved" christain adult friend's house, just a few months ago, and they started the nonbeliever bashing at the dinner table. They didn't know I had recently deconverted so, after listening to them for an hour or so, I came out of the closet publicly for the fist time. They apologized for making some of the coments they did about athiests, but one of them then asked me why I didn't believe anymore. I was not ready for this and so we rambled on for two hours in a long drawn out debate about sin, hell, biblical history, and good without god. At one point I brought up the part in Genises where it says plants were created before the sun. That stumped her, and like most christains she wanted me to read about eight or so, five inch thick, books writen by christian theologists that are supposed to answer my questions(AKA: make me their zombie slaaaaave! lol).

 

Anyway to cut a long story short I couldn't convince them I was right (suprise suprise), but they have never questioned me again. And to all the other young Xains, those people respect me, and my beliefs more than ever now that we went to the mat over them. So don't ever back down because you don't think you're smart or mature enough to argue with an adult, the very fact that you didn't let them walk all over you will drive them to respect you. Just to drive the point home I am not going to use spellcheck on this post to show that I am not afraid of making mistakes and not knowing the aswers to everything... (Yes I know I am horrible at spelling.)

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Thank you Margee, and I am proud to call myself a young rebel!

 

I agree completely with what you said about being to be ready to defend your position. I was at a "once saved always saved" christain adult friend's house, just a few months ago, and they started the nonbeliever bashing at the dinner table. They didn't know I had recently deconverted so, after listening to them for an hour or so, I came out of the closet publicly for the fist time. They apologized for making some of the coments they did about athiests, but one of them then asked me why I didn't believe anymore. I was not ready for this and so we rambled on for two hours in a long drawn out debate about sin, hell, biblical history, and good without god. At one point I brought up the part in Genises where it says plants were created before the sun. That stumped her, and like most christains she wanted me to read about eight or so, five inch thick, books writen by christian theologists that are supposed to answer my questions(AKA: make me their zombie slaaaaave! lol).

 

Anyway to cut a long story short I couldn't convince them I was right (suprise suprise), but they have never questioned me again. And to all the other young Xains, those people respect me, and my beliefs more than ever now that we went to the mat over them. So don't ever back down because you don't think you're smart or mature enough to argue with an adult, the very fact that you didn't let them walk all over you will drive them to respect you. Just to drive the point home I am not going to use spellcheck on this post to show that I am not afraid of making mistakes and not knowing the aswers to everything... (Yes I know I am horrible at spelling.)

Bravo to you young people!! yellow.gifclap.gifI loved your story!! You have taught me a great lesson here today my friend!! It takes me forever to make a post because I am a rotten speller and i have to constantly look up words to make my post 'perfect'!! What bullshit!!! all because we want to be sooo perfect!! (I'm going to leave the little i today!!) you have taught me well today!!

 

another thing...did god really create plants before the sun???? Wendytwitch.gifeek.gif I have to go check that out!!!

 

Thank YOU for your help today!!

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Thank you Margee, and I am proud to call myself a young rebel!

 

I agree completely with what you said about being to be ready to defend your position. I was at a "once saved always saved" christain adult friend's house, just a few months ago, and they started the nonbeliever bashing at the dinner table. They didn't know I had recently deconverted so, after listening to them for an hour or so, I came out of the closet publicly for the fist time. They apologized for making some of the coments they did about athiests, but one of them then asked me why I didn't believe anymore. I was not ready for this and so we rambled on for two hours in a long drawn out debate about sin, hell, biblical history, and good without god. At one point I brought up the part in Genises where it says plants were created before the sun. That stumped her, and like most christains she wanted me to read about eight or so, five inch thick, books writen by christian theologists that are supposed to answer my questions(AKA: make me their zombie slaaaaave! lol).

 

Anyway to cut a long story short I couldn't convince them I was right (suprise suprise), but they have never questioned me again. And to all the other young Xains, those people respect me, and my beliefs more than ever now that we went to the mat over them. So don't ever back down because you don't think you're smart or mature enough to argue with an adult, the very fact that you didn't let them walk all over you will drive them to respect you. Just to drive the point home I am not going to use spellcheck on this post to show that I am not afraid of making mistakes and not knowing the aswers to everything... (Yes I know I am horrible at spelling.)

 

You are brave :) I'm not yet to the point where I will tell my parents.

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@Zephie

 

Not as much as might think. My mom is not a christain anymore, but my dad is. So maybe I am half brave. Also in my first year of leaving "the faith" I went to bible study and everything, but on the inside I was not there, so I was not brave enough to come out for a long time too. Don't feel bad if you haven't told anyone yet, I'm sure you will get there soon.

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@Zephie

 

Not as much as might think. My mom is not a christain anymore, but my dad is. So maybe I am half brave. Also in my first year of leaving "the faith" I went to bible study and everything, but on the inside I was not there, so I was not brave enough to come out for a long time too. Don't feel bad if you haven't told anyone yet, I'm sure you will get there soon.

 

I still do all of those things like church attendance and bible study; my mind is definitely not there either. I won't come out to my parents until I move out and then only when I feel the need to do so. Thankies for the encouragement :)

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Yeah I know how that feels... the constant reminder that you don't have any money, and can't travel long distances, or really do anything these days, without your parents signed permission. *sigh*

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Yeah I know how that feels... the constant reminder that you don't have any money, and can't travel long distances, or really do anything these days, without your parents signed permission. *sigh*

 

It feels that way even though I'm almost 29. I live at home because of the economy at the moment. As soon as I can support myself I'm outa there. I love my parents just don't agree with them on their religion anymore.

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Yeah I know how that feels... the constant reminder that you don't have any money, and can't travel long distances, or really do anything these days, without your parents signed permission. *sigh*

 

It feels that way even though I'm almost 29. I live at home because of the economy at the moment. As soon as I can support myself I'm outa there. I love my parents just don't agree with them on their religion anymore.

 

I couldn't wait to get out of my mothers house (at 19) and get my own place and it had nothing to do with religion.I just wanted my independence. I feel that most young people are ready by at least mid 20's to spread their wings and fly'on their own. I wanted to 'run my own show' and I couldn't do it under my mom's roof. Do what it takes. If it's a job at 'Mcdonalds' for the time being - do it.

 

Youngins' - if you want it bad enough - you will do what it takes to gain the independance that you desire. It's out there waiting for you.....

 

What seems to be the problems that you feel you are up against?

 

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Yeah I know how that feels... the constant reminder that you don't have any money, and can't travel long distances, or really do anything these days, without your parents signed permission. *sigh*

 

It feels that way even though I'm almost 29. I live at home because of the economy at the moment. As soon as I can support myself I'm outa there. I love my parents just don't agree with them on their religion anymore.

 

I couldn't wait to get out of my mothers house (at 19) and get my own place and it had nothing to do with religion.I just wanted my independence. I feel that most young people are ready by at least mid 20's to spread their wings and fly'on their own. I wanted to 'run my own show' and I couldn't do it under my mom's roof. Do what it takes. If it's a job at 'Mcdonalds' for the time being - do it.

 

Youngins' - if you want it bad enough - you will do what it takes to gain the independance that you desire. It's out there waiting for you.....

 

What seems to be the problems that you feel you are up against?

I have a job that pays just above minimum wage in may state. I'm working on my alternative teacher certification so I can get a teaching job out of state. Hopefully, I can move out in a few months...should that fall through I'll get a 2nd job if I have to in order to move out.

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I have a job that pays just above minimum wage in may state. I'm working on my alternative teacher certification so I can get a teaching job out of state. Hopefully, I can move out in a few months...should that fall through I'll get a 2nd job if I have to in order to move out.

You go girl!!! good for you! Sounds like a great plan of action you have. Smart!!!!!
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