What's The One Bit Of Christianese You Never Want To Hear Again?

[Positivist]

"God never gives you more than you can bear."

 

I really LOATHE this one. It's so fucking heartless and dismissive of people's suffering.

 

Tell that to my mother. She killed herself. I've got her ashes, if you want to talk to them.

Ugh. I hate that one, too. I am living evidence that this statement is not true. Shit like that drove me to atheism.

Sorry to hear about your mom. I cannot even imagine.

[midniterider]

Anyone accepting any award,

"First I'd like to thank god for this award..."

 

On the Grammys LL Cool J thanked god for letting us all have Whitney for a while but wasn't angry at god that he took her away. hmmmm. Weird. The tradition of turning off critical thought during other's prayer time is some powerful programming.

[midniterider]

"God never gives you more than you can bear."

 

I really LOATHE this one. It's so fucking heartless and dismissive of people's suffering.

 

Tell that to my mother. She killed herself. I've got her ashes, if you want to talk to them.

 

Yes, that one really irritates me. A friend on facebook who knows better (works for the police department) posted that recently. I felt like saying, "Really? You've never taken a suicide call?" Seems like suicide is concrete proof that god does give some people more than they can handle.

[Voice]

How many of you still get the Fundie's fundamental question

"do you believe Christ was raised from the dead?"

This is where they decide if we're one of them or beneath them. How do you guys respond to that?

[owen652]

 

But I'm surprised no-one else mentioned the "it's not a religion, it's a relationship" thing. That to me is just such a royal cop-out that it pisses me off.

 

this was drummed into us like a mantra. we were VERY careful never to use the R word to describe what we did, it was almost like blasphemy. even though that's EXACTLY what it was. it wasn't science, it wasn't architecture, it wasn't water polo... it was religion. and that new video "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" just shits me up the wall.

[JadedAtheist]

'I just want to speak blessing into your life" - maybe this is only a Hillsong dialect, with a touch of Word-faith overtones. must be accompanied by an out-thrust palm.

 

I've been to Hillsong a few times. Which one did you use to go to mate, the Hills one or the one in Waterloo?

[JadedAtheist]

"Edify"

 

Oh, shut up and talk like a normal person. No one says edify anymore except religious nuts.

 

That brings up memories of that and other words now:

 

I just felt so edified after that sermon

I just felt so convicted after that sermon

I just felt a burden on my heart lifted after that sermon

 

Oh, and for the real nutters:

 

Hey brother, how are you?

Hey there sister!

 

Or this prayer over food:

 

Dear Lord and Heavenly Father, I thank you Lord for this food and I hope that you bless it unto our bodies. In the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.

[owen652]

'I just want to speak blessing into your life" - maybe this is only a Hillsong dialect, with a touch of Word-faith overtones. must be accompanied by an out-thrust palm.

 

I've been to Hillsong a few times. Which one did you use to go to mate, the Hills one or the one in Waterloo?

 

the Hills one. i didn't attend there, just went to a few conferences and such. my sister goes to the newer one in campbelltown. i used to love the place, probably cos of all the pretty colours and lights. now the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

[expat674]

This is an often used phrase in relation to weekends away..

"Yeah, we really wanna encourage you all to come on this weekend away as we are expecting to meet God, enjoy his provisioning, fellowship together and it's gonna be such a time of refreshing and encouraging..."

 

This is code for "We are expecting you to pay us big $$$$ and then we'll expect you to drive 2 hours in Friday traffic to a Xtian centre to the middle of nowhere."

[London]

This is an often used phrase in relation to weekends away..

"Yeah, we really wanna encourage you all to come on this weekend away as we are expecting to meet God, enjoy his provisioning, fellowship together and it's gonna be such a time of refreshing and encouraging..."

 

This is code for "We are expecting you to pay us big $$$$ and then we'll expect you to drive 2 hours in Friday traffic to a Xtian centre to the middle of nowhere."

 

We will then drug you with kool-aid, rape and pillage you, and you will finally know what it is like to have god inside of you.

[Thackerie]

"God never gives you more than you can bear."

 

I really LOATHE this one. It's so fucking heartless and dismissive of people's suffering.

 

Tell that to my mother. She killed herself. I've got her ashes, if you want to talk to them.

 

Yes, that one really irritates me. A friend on facebook who knows better (works for the police department) posted that recently. I felt like saying, "Really? You've never taken a suicide call?" Seems like suicide is concrete proof that god does give some people more than they can handle.

 

It doesn't even have to be as dramatic as suicide. Think of all the health conditions brought on or accelerated by stress (like high blood pressure) which can destroy a person just as well but take longer.

[midniterider]

But I'm surprised no-one else mentioned the "it's not a religion, it's a relationship" thing. That to me is just such a royal cop-out that it pisses me off.

 

this was drummed into us like a mantra. we were VERY careful never to use the R word to describe what we did, it was almost like blasphemy. even though that's EXACTLY what it was. it wasn't science, it wasn't architecture, it wasn't water polo... it was religion. and that new video "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" just shits me up the wall.

 

Seems self-contradictory, doesn't it. "Love Jesus" is the new euphemism for 'religion', a word that is getting a bad rap. If someone tells you that you need to love jesus it's a religion. If they tell you how to do it, its a religion. If you have been instilled with fear and guilt in order to control you, it's a religion, or a cult.

[Zephie]

But I'm surprised no-one else mentioned the "it's not a religion, it's a relationship" thing. That to me is just such a royal cop-out that it pisses me off.

 

this was drummed into us like a mantra. we were VERY careful never to use the R word to describe what we did, it was almost like blasphemy. even though that's EXACTLY what it was. it wasn't science, it wasn't architecture, it wasn't water polo... it was religion. and that new video "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" just shits me up the wall.

 

Seems self-contradictory, doesn't it. "Love Jesus" is the new euphemism for 'religion', a word that is getting a bad rap. If someone tells you that you need to love jesus it's a religion. If they tell you how to do it, its a religion. If you have been instilled with fear and guilt in order to control you, it's a religion, or a cult.

 

I remember the days of "It's a relationship not a religion" So glad that's past

[traveller2]

what about a seasonal favourite?

 

''Jesus: he's the reason for the season''

 

 

 

and I assume its already been mentioned but if not,

 

''love the sinner ,hate the sin''? (but still shun them aswell coz thats loving and easier than talking to them)

[Yalta]

But I'm surprised no-one else mentioned the "it's not a religion, it's a relationship" thing. That to me is just such a royal cop-out that it pisses me off.

 

this was drummed into us like a mantra. we were VERY careful never to use the R word to describe what we did, it was almost like blasphemy. even though that's EXACTLY what it was. it wasn't science, it wasn't architecture, it wasn't water polo... it was religion. and that new video "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" just shits me up the wall.

 

Seems self-contradictory, doesn't it. "Love Jesus" is the new euphemism for 'religion', a word that is getting a bad rap. If someone tells you that you need to love jesus it's a religion. If they tell you how to do it, its a religion. If you have been instilled with fear and guilt in order to control you, it's a religion, or a cult.

 

I remember the days of "It's a relationship not a religion" So glad that's past

 

It hasn't passed. Hell, there are conservative Christians who post things like "those who can't tell the difference between relationship and religion will soon learn the difference between heaven and hell!" Like, what?

[marmot]

It hasn't passed. Hell, there are conservative Christians who post things like "those who can't tell the difference between relationship and religion will soon learn the difference between heaven and hell!" Like, what?

 

All that relationship talk is just mumbo jumbo that lets you turn Christianity into whatever you want it to be for you. It is much easier to market that way.

 

In a way, I almost admire the hard hitting Calvinists. They stick to their guns and call a spade a spade (no homosexuals, no women in leadership etc.) even when it is likely to be unpopular with pop. culture for being too "religious".

 

When we get into this relationship garbage, you can make Christianity into whatever you want. Mental gymnastics at its best.

[Kurari]

"God never gives you more than you can bear."

 

I really LOATHE this one. It's so fucking heartless and dismissive of people's suffering.

 

Tell that to my mother. She killed herself. I've got her ashes, if you want to talk to them.

 

Yes, that one really irritates me. A friend on facebook who knows better (works for the police department) posted that recently. I felt like saying, "Really? You've never taken a suicide call?" Seems like suicide is concrete proof that god does give some people more than they can handle.

 

It doesn't even have to be as dramatic as suicide. Think of all the health conditions brought on or accelerated by stress (like high blood pressure) which can destroy a person just as well but take longer.

 

Exactly my point.

 

What about all the people who are sick with serious, painful, and life-threatening conditions?

 

What about all the people left homeless and injured and sick because of natural disasters?

 

What about the people who are slowly starving to death all over the world because there is no clean water or food?

 

That's supposedly all God's responsibility to handle.

[blackpudd1n]

'I just want to speak blessing into your life" - maybe this is only a Hillsong dialect, with a touch of Word-faith overtones. must be accompanied by an out-thrust palm.

 

I've been to Hillsong a few times. Which one did you use to go to mate, the Hills one or the one in Waterloo?

 

the Hills one. i didn't attend there, just went to a few conferences and such. my sister goes to the newer one in campbelltown. i used to love the place, probably cos of all the pretty colours and lights. now the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

 

I was pretty disparaging of Hillsong (Waterloo and Hills- went to both quite a few times, though mainly Hills). I was with CCC (or C3). As far as I was concerned, Hillsong wasn't "radical" enough.

 

That was the big buzz-word at CCC when I was there. "How radical for christ are you? How different from everyone else are you? Are you willing to die to yourself and take up your cross?"

 

Hillsong just wasn't hardcore enough for me. And too full of 'hypocrites'. Oh, no. I always was the good little extremist.

[Cryptic]

The one that bothered me those most was when I was told "you can't criticize my faith because you have none." I'm not allowed to make observations of your religion that contradict reality?

[Luv2knit]

"like minded"

"God's providence"

 

There are so many things it's hard to list them all. I hate when they tumble out in the things I say daily. It's so hard to get that crap out of my head and out of my speech.

 

I remember Easter Sunday last year, a member of our home church came in and the first thing she said was "Jesus has risen!". It was so freakish sounding to me I almost lost it!

[Legion]

I had a motherfucker ask me one time...

 

"How's your spiritual walk?"

 

Oh! Like that's not a set up to be invasive and judgemental?

 

Go fuck yourself twinkle toes. That's how my spiritual walk is going. It's going privately.

[ConureDelSol]

Anything containing the following:

 

"America was founded on Christian morals and God will not favor our country unless we rid it of immorality!"

 

the words "righteousness", "grace", "mercy" or "praise"

 

Anything that talks about how worthless and helpless people are and how everyone has to rely on God.

 

When anyone says that the Holy Spirit/Ghost/God "spoke" to them.

 

Any joy that seems to come when horrible things happen in the Middle East that they interpret as the "end times".

 

The words "spiritual awakening" or "revival"

 

Etc. etc...

[ApostateDave]

Here are those that I would never want to hear:

1. I'm condemned to hell because I'm gay (yes I am gay)
   
2. "Jesus is coming soon."
   
3. "The love of Jesus is wonderful"
   
4. Any Christian hymn
   
5. Anything from the westboro baptist.
   

[Zephie]

Here's another one, " We have to support Israel so that God will bless us..." (don't really know what I actually think about Israel just that I get tired of hearing it.)

[London]

"Holy spirit"

 

For a religion that shuns supernatural, how is "spirit" not supernatural.