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Margee

Encouraging New Members

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Beautifully written, Margee! :)

 

I really hope that our lurkers out there know that we care about them, too. There is plenty of room for them, here :)

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At one point we were all lurkers.

 

So when we say we've been there....we mean it.

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You described Ex-C accurately! All it takes is one post and people are supportive.

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And we promise that we will never ask you to tithe to us happydance.gif

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Your first post doesn't even need to be an Extimony! I have yet to post one! If you're just having troubles, your first post could be about what's going on in the Ex-Christian Life category. Joining Ex-C is like getting a massive digital hug!

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Good purpose and well executed Margee.

 

I lurked for about 10 minutes when I found ex-C. After a google search I found you and I looked around for a bit. I felt like I knew you jokers immediately. :HaHa: We're all Western detritus.

 

I can recommend a key tactic for new members though. It has to do with what they call normative language. These are statements which urge someone to a course of action or behavior and typically invocate the words "should" or "ought" and are intertwined with religion, politics and ideals.

 

My recommendation is to be aware of this language and be mindful of it in others and yourself. I know for instance that I may generally say "I ought to do X" and be okay, but if I say "You ought to do X" then I'm much more likely to be tresspassing on someone by placing my expectations on them. There are exceptions, but that's a rule of thumb that I often use. It somewhat limits how many people I piss off. :HaHa:

 

Anyway I join you Margee in welcoming people to leave the lurk-o-sphere and participate in the discussions. The potential for gain outweighs the social risk in my assessment.

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Please do make yourself known; this is a very supportive and encouraging place. I've been a member for 148 days, and this is what I've experience so far:

 

If you're having a problem in your deconversion, you can expect that one of the regulars here has been through the same or at least has some helpful and relative knowledge. If you're having a problem in general, there will be people willing to lend an ear and offer reasonable advice.

 

You don't even have to have a problem to start a post. You can rant about personal experience or current events, talk about how awesome science is, and even poke at the occasional True BelieverTM with a pointy stick in the Lion's Den. You can even just talk about something you want to talk about and know that no one is going to spin any christianese into it without heavy and explicit sarcasm.

 

The people here are characters (If I think about them all being in the same room, I can't not picture them in the bar from Cheers.), friendly and understanding characters. Some of them are snarky or sarcastic, but they're still good and will give respect when given respect.

 

I love the theology discussions here. Like Margee said, the folks here are sharp and they really really know their stuff. They know all the right questions and have heard every counterpoint.

 

So please, pull up a seat and have a chat with us for a while.

 

 

"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

 

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your name.

You wanna go where people know,

people are all the same,

You wanna go where everybody knows

your name."

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I hope this stays pinned permanently.

 

Margee, thank you for this beautiful post. It could not have been said any better.

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I hope this stays pinned permanently.

 

Margee, thank you for this beautiful post. It could not have been said any better.

Thank you Shackled - I really wish we could help those dear,frightened youth and adults. They need to know we're a good bunch of loving people who care!!

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This has been mentioned in another recent thread, but I would like to point out to new folks (and I'm still pretty new myself) something that's easy for me to forget: we're not all atheists here. These days I'm pretty comfortable applying that label to myself, but I've seen posts from deists and pagans and other spiritually-minded ex-christians around these parts.

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I join Margee and the others in encouraging and welcoming everyone to ExC.

 

Many have spoken of how sharing your story can lead to someone responding with a perspective based on their experiences and how that can help you. But, I would like to point out the other side of that. Many people, including myself when I first experienced it, feel like they are all alone when they finally accept that Christianity is a false religion. It's as if the whole world (at least the world we experience) is full of bible believing people and we wonder if we are the only ones who came so see what we saw. That can be so lonely.

 

If you share your story, I can guarantee you that your story will help someone, even though you may never actually meet the person you helped. For example, at the moment I am typing this there are 95 guests, each of whom is actively reading various posts. Chances are that many of those guests are suffering at this very moment or are having serious questions in their minds about the Christian religion that has been such an important part of their lives. When someone who is suffering reads your post and they see that you are going through (or went through) exactly what they are going through, it is such an encouragement to them.

 

I remember that before I actually registered about three years ago, I was one of those guests. I read and read posts on here again and again. It helped me to know that I was not alone and I identified with almost every person who posted their stories about their struggles. I read firsthand accounts of people, like me, who were having the exact same struggles I was having. It helped me to keep my sanity and to know that I had found the truth, as difficult as that truth turned out to be.

 

So, post your stories for yourselves and also do it for others. They need to read what you have to say.

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I've been writing for the main blog, but never knew about the forums, guess I'm just a nincompoop :D

 

It's great to be here Sage, I look forward to posting and reading what the forums have to offer.

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Yes, welcome! I started lurking back in the summer time. I found the site by conducting a Google search for "Ex Christian", since one of my acquaintances was using that label to describe herself. I didn't know there was such a thing! I spent the first month or so just reading and reading...and then finally got the nerve to comment on a couple of stories. And the rest is history!

 

Take your time, read all you can, and archive the stories that hit home. Ex-C is a great source of "sense making" for those of us coming out of the "crazy making" called Christianity!

 

Peace!

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This place as been a dogsend! (My "new" word, because I can't seem to find another better one to describe this site!)

 

Some of y'all are irritating as shit ;) but I love EVERY ONE of you because we were all Christians once and it feels SO bizarre to step OUTSIDE the circle and have no one---so no matter our faults, you are automatically on my team. My avatar is a pun, and I have earned it here already, I know, but you are all SO PATIENT! ;) xoxo

 

As a newbie myself, please let me encourage you other seekers to take as much comfort as you need, savor the warm blanket of anonymity and only post when you are good and ready. And really, you can STILL be as anonymous as you want to be even after you make an entrance!!!

 

WELCOME!

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Damn.......it is really lonely once you have made the decision to walk away from first the church and soon after experiencing a new freedom, I started my own digging into the bible. We all did it..... That is the nice thing of this forum

 

This is my first posting as an ex-christian. And tonight I feel a bit scared for all my friends I'm about to lose. Haven't told them yet

 

Somehow I know you guys will understand that it is important to start saying it...... "I do not believe in god or Jesus....." So there I did it.....

 

But still deep down in me, I am scared..... And I am excited! Feels like a whole new world .

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Welcome to Ex-C Liesbet. If you lose any friends over questioning religious dogma, they weren't friends to begin with. And you'll be surprised of the number of people who will be supportive. It's worth any price to see thru the veil called religion.

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Welcome Leisbet! It's a big change, and can be a bit heart breaking, but there are plenty here who will support you. If you get a chance, put your "extimony" in the Testimonies of Former Christians section.

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Welcome Leisbet! It's a big change, and can be a bit heart breaking, but there are plenty here who will support you. If you get a chance, put your "extimony" in the Testimonies of Former Christians section.

 

Welcome Leisbet! I can't wait to hear your story!! Don't you be shy now..........yellow.gif We're here for ya!! Hug for you tonight!

 

Sincerely, Margee

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Hi Leisbet! Welcome to the best place on the web -- and a sanctuary for all us Ex-C'ers.

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Welcome, Liesbet! I hope to see you more on here and to hear your "extimony" if you feel like sharing it.

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Welcome Leisbet! It is definitely scary at first, but it gets a lot easier as time goes by. I've been out about 20 years now and it barely even comes up in conversation anymore in the real world, even in the highly Mormon town I live in. I don't even know what religion most of my friends hold, if any. A third of Americans have no religious affiliation or label anymore; a lot more have one but don't really get spastic about it. Hold your head up high: you are not alone at all.

 

As others have said, if someone's friendship with you depends on you parroting the same lies as them, then I'd wonder if they're really friends with you or with the lie. You may lose some people you thought were friends, but you won't lose any friends. Good luck, and please do consider an extimony!

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Damn.......it is really lonely once you have made the decision to walk away from first the church and soon after experiencing a new freedom, I started my own digging into the bible. We all did it..... That is the nice thing of this forum

 

This is my first posting as an ex-christian. And tonight I feel a bit scared for all my friends I'm about to lose. Haven't told them yet

 

Somehow I know you guys will understand that it is important to start saying it...... "I do not believe in god or Jesus....." So there I did it.....

 

But still deep down in me, I am scared..... And I am excited! Feels like a whole new world .

 

We're here for ya man. We understand and as a xian its impossible to understand so you can lean on us. It a tough, superstitious, ignorant world out there and yet all we have is each other. The few, the proud, the thinkers!

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Hey, I just joined this site. It's a real comfort to know there is a place like this for us ex-christians. I already posted my testimony up. It felt good to say what I had to say.

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If you're a young kid struggling with the faith entering university/college - a world of free thought - you might want to read my testimony here!

 

Josh :)

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